The Prologue
The Prologue
14 October, 1399. Morning.
Unknown voice: Wake up sweety... wake up... WAKE UP YOU PIECE OF s***!
TimurAAR: *hrrhrh*...Oh*Hrrhr*Talk dirty to me..*hrhrr*... - He turned around on the other side on his large bed and continued to sleep like a lamb.
Unknown voice 2: You must be new here.
Unknown voice: Yeah.
Unkown voice 2: You must do it with fineese. Try it like this:*ekhem**womanly voice* Ooooooh Timuuuuuurriaaar, me and other girls are waiting for you in your HAREM!
TimuriAAR's eyes opened like they were to fall out. He popped up from his bed and jumped around like a curious boy.
TimuriAAR: where, where, wheeere?
Servants : It's just us. You've been sleeping for... 11 hours 59 minutes and 59 seconds. Good timing.
TimuriAAR: Whoah. - He rubbed his eyes and yawned like a big bear - Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing here? Why am I so hungry? And why is the bed so friggin wet?
Servant 2*whispers to Servant* - Oops... I think I overdid it. It's like the 5th Timurid ruler who has amnesia. Oh my Allah....
Servant: Guess he needs some memory refreshment. - He turned to TimuriAAR - Okay, you would want the long story or the short story?
TimuriAAR: The long one.
Servant: Sorry, we don't have that one.
TimuriAAR: Okay... so the short one.
Servant: You're TimuriAAR, the khan of the TimuridAAR Empire. - He took out an oddly detailed map - Here, here's a map of your Empire.
TimuriAAR: It's oddly detailed.
Servant: Oh no, the kids were playing with crayons again. I think we'll need another one.
TimuriAAR: Um, that one seems quite fine.
Servant: Okay then. Back to the topic. As you can see , you have one of the largest empires in the world. You also have... - He turns again for an another parchment. It had various numbers written on it.
Servant: ... Here it is, we also have one of the largest incomes in the world, and we're so advanced in technology that no country - according to our knowledge - suprpasses us.
TimuriAAR only managed to read "Bitches income" but after only a few seconds, the servant rolled the parchment and took out another one. If it was to be shortened, it could just have written "politics" all over it.
TimuriAAR just looked at it and tried to read.
TimuriAAR: Form... of... government... Ouch, my eyes hurt.
Servant: Don't worry, it will take care of itself.
TimuriAAR: I...hope so.Are we done?
Servant: Almost. To sum up, you're also the most powerful conqueror - He pointed at the wall which had various letters TimuriAAR couldn't read even if he forced himself to.
Servant: Okay, now for the more serious news. We are at war with Georgia - He pointed at the Blue ink smodge on the map - We are also in war with the Ottoman Empire.
TimuriAAR: What, another empire?
Servant: Well, they have conquered most of Greece belonging to the Byzantine Empire.
TimuriAAR: That's confusing.
Servant: To end my speech, I just wanted to tell you that we have most of our armies at the Ottoman and the Georgian walls, and that most of us would like you to lead us to victory, glory, prestige and other crap noone cares about. Our nation wants YOU to conquer Sivas. -He pointed a small parchment and pushed it straight on TimuriAAR's eyes.
Our armies are waiting just not far from here. What do you do?
TimuriAAR: . . . . . I'm hungry.
The servants made a classic "fall-on-the-ground-from-the-oddness-of-the-situation"
*5 hours later after a lot of munching and random talking*
TimuriAAR: Don't khans have some sort of... advisors, or something?
Servant: You mean the men of the court? I can call them for you if you want.
TimuriAAR: Yes, please do.
The servant ringed a small golden bell. 3 men have arrived out of nowhere.
Servant: This is Mirza, Temor, and Ali.
TimuriAAR: Okay.. introduce yourselves.
TimuriAAR: Okaaaaay.... You can go away now.
Servant: Can you please go attack the turks and the georgians now?
TimuriAAR: No. As a nation we must have some allies. Hey, I did a diplomatic action all by myself!
Servant:. . . Congratulations.
*1 day later*
TimuridAAR: Awesome.
A fellow came out of nowhere. He oddly looked like Bill Gates.
TimuridAAR: Who are you? Oh wait, you're that Bill Gates guy.
NOT Bill Gates :No I'm not.
TimuridAAR: Yes you are. If you're not, then who are you?
NOT Bill Gates: I'm... Akhbar Gates!
TimuridAAR: Are you related?
Akhbar Gates: Um, I think not.
TimuridAAR: What's your business here.
Akhbar Gates: Oh yes, I forgot completely. I have came here with a special proposal. It's about...* yada yada yada* ...TimuridAAR...*yada yada yada* those republican *yada yada yada*, so I came here to offer you the investment you will not regret: The *drums and a Poof* Sheikhsoft office.
TimuridAAR: Why didn't you say so in the first place and skip that yada yada?
Akhbar Gates: *Yada Yada Yada*
TimuridAAR: Nevermind. I accept.
The next day, his allies came to his royal room.
Dulkadir Diplomat : We come to you, our royal ally, to offer you this royal marriage as a sign of friendship. - He whistled. A tall, a bit pale woman with long curly hair came in to the room. She had the classic wasp figure. She looked daring.
Beautiful woman : Hey baby.
TimuridAAR : Great. Push her into my harem with the others. I accept. -
And so he did.
Dulkadir Diplomat :Anything else you wish, our royal ally?
TimuridAAR : Nothing diplomatic. But something more personal.
Dulkadir Diplomat: What bothers you, our ally?
TimuridAAR pointed on his shirt,on which the flag of Dulkadir was sewed in.
TimuridAAR*whisper* - Clean off that semen.
Dulkadir Diplomat
o : . . . Allright.
After an hour, he called his servant.
TimuridAAR : Okay, I think we can attack the turks and the georgians now. -
The servant looked really surprised.
TimuridAAR: What? Weren't the armies waiting outside?
Servant: Well, they are sleeping.
TimuridAAR: So wake them up. We must assemble our Hoard and Seige our enemies!
Servant: Yes, my khan! Right away! - He ran.
TimuridAAR*To himself* - I really hope that I will be able to swing that sword.- He looked through the window. The turks don't know what they're up against...
End of Prologue.
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How do you like it ^^? I shall update according to the number and the content of the comments =P so Poor and little comments : Update late or not at all. A lot of comments with praise : Update as soon as I can.
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