The AARoquois: Part 4: To WAR!
Good times! But let's have a look at that map...
I knew making my five-year-old nephew Chief Cartographer for the Confederacy would pay off. So, what province will be the starting point for my war of conquest?
Ontario? OMGC THAT'S WHERE JUSTIN BIEBER COMES FROM!!!!!!!!!! Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes <3
Ahem.
Come my legions - to WARoh ok just finish off those savages
Well, I think that's all of the neighbouring savages dead. Well, take all their land and property, I guess.
Ah, the bankers, however would I live without your persistent nuisancing of my office? Well, make your demands.
13 ducats. You want me to pay you 13 ducats. You really can't let that go?
Fine, have your money! But be sure to remember that it was gained through nothing but THEFT AND BLOODSHED GRRRAAAAAAARRRRRRGH
Well, apparently the people and economists alike are rejoicing at the fact that I've chucked some pocket change at the fat cats. And now they want me to improve our great nation's prestige. Excuse me? How could I improve the prestige of a country which already has such a powerful military as this!
Bah, the fools. Now, let's do this war by the book. First of all I have to go and meet with their leader to see if they want to be part of our nation:
Oh, get out of my way, you blithering bureaucrats!
OK. Here we go. In Huron. Asking for them to become part of our Great Law of Peace:
Oh Great Creator, not this again.
Second go.
wdjgjbbdjdjd
THIS
JUST
GOT
REAL
Oh, you're in for it now, you Wyandot sonsofguns (What's a gun? I think you mean bow. Ed.). PREPARE TO MEET YOUR END
I can TASTE the irony!
But I said I'd do it by the book. And by the book I shall! Do it, that is. Now, the Constitution says I have to ask three times before I club their leader's head in and declare war on them. So here we go, the moment of truth...
>:]
Now I am greatly surprised
And, therefore I shall use it --
The power of my War Song.
I am of the Five Nations
And I shall make supplication
To the Almighty Creator.
He has furnished this army.
My warriors shall be mighty
In the strength of the Creator.
Between him and my song they are
For it was he who gave the song
This war song that I sing!
One brief but frustrating war later... (seriously though, unciv warfare sucks. The next expansion should focus on pre-Columbian countries. Even if they just included an optional gameplay mode that removed all their penalties, it would be INCREDIBLE)
So despite winning a 55% victory, I can't claim demands of 26%. Bah. Ontario it is then. BABY, BABY, BABY OOOOOOOOH
OK, ex-Hurons. You're now part of the Iroquois Confederacy. But you don't get a vote. You get to keep your own previous system of government though. Unless I decide to centralise again. Which I probably will.
Honestly, who wouldn't want to be part of the Great Binding Law of Peace?