Doesn't mean they want to hug them and be friends either. There's difference between a war among human states, and a war with alien fanatic purifier that treats humans as livestock.
"Hello, conquered fanatic purifiers! We're not authoritarian so you'll going to live with us now. What is your diet? Human flesh? Oh well, i'll start asking for volunteers."
This is ridiculous. No one's forcing you to be all lovey dovey. If you want to be, play Xenophile. The key is the median human being (and the median person/plant/fungi by extrapolation) is neither Xenophile nor Xenophobe, and thus neither is interested in persecuting nor hugging the greater universe. So, if you want to persecute, play Xenophobe. If you want to hug, play Xenophile. If you're in the middle, you shouldn't have the option to do either.
Even if my ruler is worshiped like god?
Limitations come in different forms. If my people will get upset and i'll have to deal with unrest or other consequences, i'm fine with it. But simply not being able to do it?
The Imperial Cult civic requires authoritarianism. If you take it, you can go ahead and expel them all to refugee status to your heart's content.
Doesn't mean it will or should let you kill them all, though. The ancient world had all kinds of dictators who were worshipped as gods, didn't mean they could come out into a room full of decent people and declare that all the foreigners should be executed without getting pushback.
What i want is not to be forced to take xenophobic ethos on each playthrough.
Right, that's what I said. You want to be able to do things without taking the prerequisites for them. Sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too, to me. How about a playthrough without purging, that would allow you to not need Xenophobe, yes?
And you're already getting a huge penalty to relations. If you cleanse one planet everyone and their dog is going to hate you for the rest of the game. Is it not enough of a compromise?
No. Because the restriction is not in place purely for gameplay reasons. It's in place because it makes logical sense and in broad strokes matches history.
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