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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

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Galle

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This is, essentially, my first solo AAR. Since I have a very short attention span, you can expect this AAR to be screenshot-heavy, wall of text-free, and possibly influenced by a certain Crusader Kings AAR. Very slightly.

I'm going to be playing the Sengoku Clan Customization Project, a work-in-progress mod compilation that combines province modifiers and new buildings by birdboy2000, modified siege events by unperson, chatnoir17's excellent Divided Clans mod, and my own Truly Impassible Mountains mod.

Instead of an actual clan, I'll be playing as Nagao Kagenobu, Daimyo of Musashi, and thoroughly disloyal vassal to Uesugi Akisada. In vanilla, the difference in power between the Uesugi and the Nagao is so huge that the Nagao don't really stand a chance of gaining their independence. Thanks to chatnoir17, however, we may have a fighting chance.

Chapter I: The Chronicle of Nagao Kagenobu, Daimyo of Musashi

I am Nagao Kagenobu, Daimyo of Musashi. I rule over one of Japan's most fertile provinces. I have two strong young sons, and considerable wealth.

Unfortunately, I also have a liege.


This is Uesugi Akisada, leader of the Yamanouichi-Uesugi clan. He drew this picture himself.

I would like to take a moment to point out that he is twelve years old, and has a son.

I don't even want to know.

The clan is currently at war with some cousin of the shogun over something that happened and someone got killed, I don't know and I don't care. I have absolutely no interest in getting myself killed so that my twelve year old master can rule over a slightly larger portion of Japan. I have only one objective:


Get the hell out of Uesugi-ville.

That, and get wives for my sons. So two objectives, I guess. I send proposals to some nice girls who complement their stats well.


In the mean time, I hand out court offices. My eldest son, Kageharu, will serve as Master of Arms. My youngest son, Chikaie, will be Master of the Guard. And someone I've never heard of but who I am apparently somehow related to will be my Master of Ceremonies.


Speaking of relatives I've never heard of, the Kokujin of Tone joins me in my plot against the dreaded twelve-year-old menace.


The Kokujin of Uesi does not. Apparently I'm not related to him. I send Chikaie and Akimori to help him reconsider with a little bit of the "good samurai, bad samurai" technique.


Yes!


No!


I arrange another marriage for Chikaie. This one actually works, ensuring the continued survival of my family line.

Now then. Where was I?


Oh, right, the whole "war" thing.

While I have absolutely no intention of going to war myself, there are some valuable provinces at stake. Unfortunately, Lord Bedwetter has exclusive control over who will get those spoils of war.

Unless, of course, my men were to capture a province.


I immediately order the raising of two regiments of ashigaru infantry for my personal retinue. I also order Kageharu to go find some ronin. There's got to be some around here somewhere.

In the meantime, let's meet our neighbors and see who'll join my plot to gloriously overthrow a twelve-year-old boy.


This guy is the leader of a small neighboring clan to the east. He will not join my plot.


This guy is the leader of an even smaller neighboring clan to the east. He also will not join my plot.



These guys are daimyos in the mountains to the west. Neither of them will join my plot.


This guy is the Daimyo of Echigo, leader of the northern branch of the Uesugi clan,and my liege's father. He will not join my plot and in retrospect asking him was a really bad idea.


This guy probably would join my plot, but has other problems.

Apparently all our neighbors think it would be "dishonorable" to gang up on a twelve-year-old. Whatever.


Ding! Army's done! Kageharu hasn't found any ronin yet, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time, and five hundred ashigaru is more than enough for the job.


Great strategic genius that I am, I have ordered the army to march on Koga and join the battle! I have cunningly plotted a route that will avoid outflank all enemy armies and allow me to steal their undefended provinces for myself plunge into the heart of the enemy and force them to collapse.


I'm sure they'll have a great time fighting the Ashikaga.

On their own.

Very far away from me.


A messenger from the capital arrived today. Apparently, the two sides fighting over the Shogunate out in Chugoku have basically burned Kyoto to the ground and the emperor's organizing what he's calling a "whip-round" to rebuild it. I am happy to oblige.


Meanwhile, my twelve-year-old liege has been betrothed.

To a girl the same age as his son.

I... I, uh... how's that war going?


Oh, crap, thought they would have taken longer. Alright, war over, everyone go home.

Still, not like it's the end of the world. Sure, nobody but my cousin is willing to join my plot and I lost out on my chance for a free landgrab, but at least Kageharu's wife is pregnant. Perhaps, soon, I will have a grandson to carry on my family's legacy.


Oh, come on.


Oh, come on!


OH, COME ON!
 

Troelsdc

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Awesome, Galle! I like your way of writing, these kind of AARs are my favourite :) Keep them posts coming.
 

Blxz

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Bloody hilarious! I chortled my way through that whole thing. But also a decent gameplay AAR in its own right. Good luck!
 

chatnoir17

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Thanks for using my divided clans mod! Since I am working on sengoku 1551, I couldn't test that mod. So I am very curious about what happens next and waiting for the second chapter!
 

Galle

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Chapter II: The First Chronicle of Nagao Kageharu


I am Nagao Kageharu, Daimyo of Musashi. My father made me spend the last year of his life searching the capital for ronin, who I am beginning to suspect may not actually exist. Then he went and died and left me in charge. Typical.


Some cousin I've never heard of wanted my old job. I told him to go look for ronin.


My father's plot against Uesugi Akisada died with him. Just like him to leave more work for me. I'm sure I'll be able to round up a few unruly vassals with my legendary wit and charm.

And I'm sure Harumichi will find those ronin eventually.


My brother has a son. I do not. Life is cruel and unfair. Cute kid, though. Aww, who wants to give Uncle Kageharu a hug?


Ow! Son of a...! He bit me! He actually bit me!


I donate some money to the Kyoto Urban Renewal Fund and they see me back a tiny portrait of the emperor and a nice wall-scroll with a title on it. I'm not even sure what a Jugoi does.

I'm not even sure a Jugoi does anything.

In other news, the Kokujin of Usui hates me less than he hates Akisada! Could this be my chance to invite someone into my plot?


...huh.

Well, what about the Kokujin of Kanra?


Of course not. I don't get it. I'm yelling as loud as I can! Why won't they listen to me?


That... that's not a boy dear.

Yes, she's lovely, but she can't inherit the kuni.

I'm going to go weep for the fate of my dynasty now.


I cheer myself up by applying for an advanced course.


Wait, what?

Oh, right, dad sent Akimori to go make a deal with the Kokujin of Usui two years ago. Maybe now he'll join my-



One year, five failed plot invitations, two daughters and a court rank later...

Why? Why? What did I ever do to you, rest of Japan? Why do you hate me so?


...no.

No, I'm not falling for it. There is no way that's really a boy.


I...

-40?

What did he do, piss in his cereal?

...suddenly, I sense opportunity.


Yes!


Yes!


Y...n...g... you know what?


Screw it.


We'll do it live.
 
Last edited:

loki100

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Hi ... great AAR but can you edit that last post to fit with the AARland rules - so no more than 20 images per update (check either the sticky at the top of the Senguko thread or the links in my signature
 

Galle

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Hi ... great AAR but can you edit that last post to fit with the AARland rules - so no more than 20 images per update (check either the sticky at the top of the Senguko thread or the links in my signature

I think that should bring it into line.
 

Galle

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Chapter III: The Musashi Insurrection


...huh. He sounds angry. Go figure.


Seeing as I control half of the former Yamanouchi-Uesugi clan, I decide to give him some lessons in anger management.


Remember this guy? He rules a tiny province to our east and wouldn't join our father's plot, and now he wants me to send him my son as a hostage? Is he crazy? I have important people I could be sending my children to as hostages. I'm sure saying no couldn't possibly have any negative repercussions.


Akisada has crammed up his army into one big crushy death force while my forces are still split up and trying to invest his castles. It's a bit unfair, really.


This, on the other hand, is entirely fair.


See? Progress.

Also a bonus appearance by Akisada's father, who has sent his army on a fact-finding tour of the Kanto region. Specifically, I think they're going to be finding a lot of facts about how much of a miserable failure Akisada is.


Oh, you're angry that I didn't exchange hostages with you, that's so cute! What are you going to do about it, you puny one-province monk...


...ey?

My court is suddenly flooded by the Narita clan, who demand that I immediately reclaim Saitama.


Well, we'll just see about that, now won't we?

I'm not sure who those people sieging Katsushika are, by the way. I think they might have declared war on me, too, while I wasn't looking.

I'm more worried about that pernicious 188-strong army sneaking around to the west. If there's anything this war has taught me, it's that tiny armies can win sieges very, very quickly when they're not my tiny armies. I'll have to send a force to destroy them.


Or Shinto rebels could do it for me! Yes!


...wait, they're Shinto rebels against me! Crap!


The siege in Katsushika is getting a little out of hand. I spare as many men as I can from my own sieges to launch a counterattack.


It succeeds spectacularly. The Jojo-Uesugi paint pictures of my glorious victory over Akisada and send them home to his dad. With the last major Yamanouchi-Uesugi army annihilated, the war is effectively over.


The Oyama have defied me for the first last time. Their line ends here.


Akisada's territories have been reduced to a single kori on the coast, which he captured from the Koga-Ashikaga. I decide to let him keep it, as I am just, wise, and merciful.

Also I'm kind of running out of soldiers.


I also let these guys out of the war. They're about to get eaten by the Satomi clan anyway.


With the Oyama conquered, the Nagao are at peace, and, in a mere four years, we have become the most powerful clan in eastern Japan, taking the Yamanouichi-Uesugi's place.

But some part of me feels that this, still, is not enough.


The war in the west that began ten years ago shows no sign of ending...


...and the Shogunate's last stronghold in the east is on the verge of falling to the Imagawa.

I am convinced that the Ashikaga can no longer maintain control over Japan. The fate of the Nagao clan will rest on our ability to claim safety and security. We are the most powerful clan in Kanto, but that is not enough. We must be the strongest in all of Japan.


This... all of this... will belong to me.
 

Galle

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Chapter IV: Everybody Hates the Uesugi Clan


I marry my daughter off to the heir to the Jojo-Uesugi clan. No hard feelings over the whole "stripping your brother of his lands" thing, right?

Overall, I kind of like the Jojo-Uesugi. Their clan name is short and easy to remember, and except for Makabe, they don't rule any lands in Kanto. I might not even have to go to war with them, I could probably just send ninjas to nick Makabe off them.


I don't like the Ogigayatsu-Uesugi nearly as much.


Two years of peace is enough, I think.


I crush their eastern army in a grand pincer attack, and smash their western army against...


...uh...

...where exactly is their western army?


...

I...

Um...


...hey! Look! The Satake declared war on the Ogigayatsu-Uesugi, too!

Opportunistic vultures. This is my war! I was here first!


Oh, good, that army's coming back. I was worried there for a second.

Unfortunately, I don't really have the manpower to deal with it. I need to put sieges on all these provinces so the Satake can't get them first.


I've got two large armies locked up in the siege of Kamakura. Come on, Kamakura...


Oh, come on, Kamakura!


Now I have to send a detachment from the siege of Aiko to deal with this mess.

You may be wondering where the Ogigayatsu-Uesugi's western army went.


They went to Chiba, of course.

Really, does this surprise anyone at this point?


Okay, I think that takes care of most of their armies. They've got some sieges going in Adachi and Soma but my sieges should all be done before theirs, so everything seems under control.


I make my brother Chikaie Daimyo of the former Ogigayatsu-Uesugi lands. He's earned it.


Another cousin I've never heard of replaces him as Master of the Guard. I send him off to search for some ninjas, in the hopes that I might be able to steal Makabe away from the Jojo-Uesugi without having to start a full scale war with Echigo.


Speaking of which, the Jojo-Uesugi finally agreed to exchange hostages, leaving me free to sit here in peace for a few years and plot my conquest of the other Kanto clans.

Nothing can stop me now!


Uh...

Where are those Jojo-Uesugi armies going?


Oh, they're going to the Utsonimya clan.

...

Fffffuuuuuuuu...
 

Galle

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Chapter V: Preemptive Conquest


Okay... okay... don't panic. I am a professional. I am a samurai! I can handle this!

...crap crap crap the Jojo-Uesugi are going to conquer the Utsunomiya before I can!


Alright, I'll just invade first. That way, I'll conquer the Utsunomiya before they can. That should work fine, right? No danger of me having to get into an even bigger war with the Jojo-Uesugi to unite the Kanto region.

It's for their own good, really.


Sweet merciful kami you people are slow!

No, calm down, no reason to panic, the Utsunomiya have a pretty big army, they can still kick them out of Shioya. And meanwhile, my armies can sweep into Haga and lay siege to it before the Uesugi...


NO! BAD! THAT IS THE WRONG DIRECTION! DO YOU WANT TO BE RULED BY THE UESUGI? I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU!


Crap crap crap crap crap get to Tsuga get to Tsuga


Ha! In your face! And you've left Shioya wide open! I can still do this!


Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! I can win! I feel great! I! Can! Do! Thi-


...

Excuse me for a second.


...ah. That's better.


I'm still a little bitter over the whole Utsunomiya thing. Fortunately, I think I still have time to prepare for the next war.

No, it's not against the Jojo-Uesugi. Don't worry, their day will come. There will be a reckoning.

For now, though, I think it's time I did something about how my castle is really more of a small hut.


I also accidentally disbanded my father's retinue, which really wasn't suited for a clan leader of my stature anyway. I assemble a new retinue, comprised of one thousand samurai.

I briefly considered looking for ronin, but fortunately came to my senses.


Right, let's put this army to good use, then, shall we?


I have some anger issues to work out.
 

Omen

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This is exactly the kind of AAR I was looking for in this forum. Really entertaining stuff.
 

Saithis

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Musashi, Overthrowing Children and Conquering Japan. I love it. :D