I'm ashamed to say that this made me laugh out loud. Sorry Pip.
My wicked ploy to subvert El Pip is growing more effective.
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My wicked ploy to subvert El Pip is growing more effective.
It was just as needlessly detailed and obsessed with minutate as I had hoped.
At least you are ashamed.I'm ashamed to say that this made me laugh out loud. Sorry Pip.
Everyone needs a hobby I suppose.
I tried to resist it and write about something else, but some itches must be scratched. There has been a Disturbance in the shoal, as if a thousand herring cried out but were suddenly smoked. A certain Nordic monarch has returned.
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I was rereading this because its finished now and I'd forgotten most of it (and needed to get a feel for El Pip comedy again for research) but one thing did stick out:
It turns out we just barely missed out on this as explained below. Ecaudor did indeed last longer than slovakia, by one update at least.
Yes, I really do think he could be put to use elsewhere.
We do.
See? They held on pretty well. Amercia had a very embarising war to be honest. Even the russians didn't do that badly...
Then again, Steiner managed to last for months in that pocket, and outlast pretty much everyone but the capture of Berlin. So Russia clearly effed up a bit as well.
I'd say the British came out well (they at least secured most of europe for their alliance but the d day landers just stayed in Normandy for a year whilst market garden ended up retaking all of europe (very nearly. The russians just got enough of yuguslavia to take it first) and were given a gigantic navy by 2011 Pip (he 'forgot'), but...
So even they look a little incompetent. That they managed to find one commander for retaking Berlin with competence does give them the last shot, so to speak.
It turns out we just barely missed out on this as explained below. Ecaudor did indeed last longer than slovakia, by one update at least.
Yes, I really do think he could be put to use elsewhere.
We do.
See? They held on pretty well. Amercia had a very embarising war to be honest. Even the russians didn't do that badly...
"Army Detachment Steiner is not coming to rescue Berlin." Von Killinger said. "He is dying heroically for the Führer in the Baltic instead."
III. SS Panzerkorps under the leadership of General Steiner defending Tallinn while waiting for an evacuation which will never come. Steiner's corps contains neither Panzers nor SS divisions but does contain a surprisingly large amount of Luftwaffe Militia. Despite being militia the 20th was officially a 'Storm Division', an honorific distinction that is unlikely to make any significant difference to the attacking Soviets.
Then again, Steiner managed to last for months in that pocket, and outlast pretty much everyone but the capture of Berlin. So Russia clearly effed up a bit as well.
I'd say the British came out well (they at least secured most of europe for their alliance but the d day landers just stayed in Normandy for a year whilst market garden ended up retaking all of europe (very nearly. The russians just got enough of yuguslavia to take it first) and were given a gigantic navy by 2011 Pip (he 'forgot'), but...
"Excellent news for the forces in the Alsace-Lorraine Pocket." Baron Von Killinger said.
"They might have a chance to escape?" Malar asked.
Tiso sighed as awaited the inevitable.
"No! They have a chance to die heroically needless deaths for the Fuhrer as they are now completely encircled." Von Killinger explained.
The Allies are avoiding liberating Luxembourg, because you would wouldn't you? Elsewhere the West Wall is mainly being attacked from the East, so the Allies at least have the benefit of surprise. And air support. And reserves of manpower. And a functioning industrial base. Basically they have every advantage and no excuse at this point.
So even they look a little incompetent. That they managed to find one commander for retaking Berlin with competence does give them the last shot, so to speak.
Behold! I have returned!
Whats that? Oh I do believe thats the first forum update about this AAR I've received since August
Maybe it has something to do with my new laptop, who knows at this point. I shall celebrate this momentous occasion with beer, olives and Tiso&Tuka!
So that brings me to January '45
Glad to see the threat of Dominican spies is still being taken with all the severity it deserves and the Australians are taking the war seriously, dispatching armour to the Munich region. I am convinced the leak was caused by inadequate Czech *spit* construction regulations!
22-1-45: I will say, the AI's decision to deploy the troops in the fortresses south of Bratislava and the city of Vienna makes sense, they are quite defensible positions. Its doing the best with what its been given....
Why am I not surprised by the Mongolian, well, I guess it passes for a government?
26-1: Festung Liege is such an on-brand late-war Germany thing. Southern France is.....quite a thing to behold.
27-1: WHAT! A new Division! Earth-shattering news! I predict the Slovakian banner will fly over the Kremlin by mid-April!
6 million men? I mean, that does sound like a reasonable amount if you want to hold off the full might of the Red Army. with muskets and caltrops.
The RAF will blot out the sun. Man the Bratislava Trebuchet!
3-2: The whole update just got me, its great!
Hurray for the return of the Netherlands to the map! *starts humming the Wilhelmus*
Well alright the sorry excuse for a country south of us as well
Ok, I finished page 117 now, thats enough catching up for today. It was an absolute joy reading this again.
Whats that? Oh I do believe thats the first forum update about this AAR I've received since August
2019
So that brings me to January '45
Glad to see the threat of Dominican spies is still being taken with all the severity it deserves and the Australians are taking the war seriously, dispatching armour to the Munich region. I am convinced the leak was caused by inadequate Czech *spit* construction regulations!
22-1-45: I will say, the AI's decision to deploy the troops in the fortresses south of Bratislava and the city of Vienna makes sense, they are quite defensible positions. Its doing the best with what its been given....
Why am I not surprised by the Mongolian, well, I guess it passes for a government?
26-1: Festung Liege is such an on-brand late-war Germany thing. Southern France is.....quite a thing to behold.
27-1: WHAT! A new Division! Earth-shattering news! I predict the Slovakian banner will fly over the Kremlin by mid-April!
6 million men? I mean, that does sound like a reasonable amount if you want to hold off the full might of the Red Army. with muskets and caltrops.
The RAF will blot out the sun. Man the Bratislava Trebuchet!
3-2: The whole update just got me, its great!
Hurray for the return of the Netherlands to the map! *starts humming the Wilhelmus*
Well alright the sorry excuse for a country south of us as well
Ok, I finished page 117 now, thats enough catching up for today. It was an absolute joy reading this again.
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"No comrade Premier... it has only begun"
INEVITABLE DEFEAT 2: COMMUNIST SLOVAKIA DURING UNTHINKABLE
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Ah, weekend, time to see how Slovakia is doing.
Considering what happened right after the end of WW2, Dutch rebels taking Indonesia is....ironic.
When 5 divisions trapped in Estonia count as "army group north", things may have gone just ever so slightly pear-shaped.
Quite impressive how the Slovak musket lines have checked the Allied advance on Bratislava, the Race is not won yet!
27-2 Damn the RAF is taking Bratislava seriously.
I knew the standards for a cabinet in this were low, but damn it Oman.
5-3
Malar is my spirit animal
Damn Lendvay's division has been absolutely savaged. Say what you will but they bled for Slovakia. Maybe an AA brigade wouldve been better in hindsight.
6-3: A coördinated 2-pronged invasion of Slovakia from the east and the west by the British and Soviets simultaniously?! I knew Bratislava was the objective of the war after all! They're all after the Habsburg trousers! Just look at it, American, British, French, Soviet, Hungarian and Slovak forces are all involved.
10-3: *gasp!* A Belgian spy! Now things are truly dire.
11-3The border guards' shattered retreat to Berlin was a genius ploy to avoid the pencil&snake pit accidentaly collapsing on them in the artillery barrage, I'm sure.
Bratislava falls without a shot being fired! On the one hand:for shame!. On the other, can they really be blamed? They probably ran out of musket balls 50 pages ago.
5-4: A teleporter, what is this now, mad Einstein in the opening cinematic of Command&Conquer Red Alert?
23-4: Are you sure thats an adequate garrison for the Bahamas? Its a very popular destination.
2-5: I'm positively surprised at the sheer number of German units in the area around Berlin. Almost like the AI knows something of importance is there.
15-5: I read the rest in one rush, after all defeat was inevitable.
ITs been a joy to get back here every now and then and catch up on T&T's misadventures, congrats on completing it, @El Pip !
Considering what happened right after the end of WW2, Dutch rebels taking Indonesia is....ironic.
When 5 divisions trapped in Estonia count as "army group north", things may have gone just ever so slightly pear-shaped.
Quite impressive how the Slovak musket lines have checked the Allied advance on Bratislava, the Race is not won yet!
27-2 Damn the RAF is taking Bratislava seriously.
I knew the standards for a cabinet in this were low, but damn it Oman.
5-3
Malar is my spirit animal
Damn Lendvay's division has been absolutely savaged. Say what you will but they bled for Slovakia. Maybe an AA brigade wouldve been better in hindsight.
6-3: A coördinated 2-pronged invasion of Slovakia from the east and the west by the British and Soviets simultaniously?! I knew Bratislava was the objective of the war after all! They're all after the Habsburg trousers! Just look at it, American, British, French, Soviet, Hungarian and Slovak forces are all involved.
10-3: *gasp!* A Belgian spy! Now things are truly dire.
11-3The border guards' shattered retreat to Berlin was a genius ploy to avoid the pencil&snake pit accidentaly collapsing on them in the artillery barrage, I'm sure.
Bratislava falls without a shot being fired! On the one hand:for shame!. On the other, can they really be blamed? They probably ran out of musket balls 50 pages ago.
5-4: A teleporter, what is this now, mad Einstein in the opening cinematic of Command&Conquer Red Alert?
23-4: Are you sure thats an adequate garrison for the Bahamas? Its a very popular destination.
2-5: I'm positively surprised at the sheer number of German units in the area around Berlin. Almost like the AI knows something of importance is there.
15-5: I read the rest in one rush, after all defeat was inevitable.
ITs been a joy to get back here every now and then and catch up on T&T's misadventures, congrats on completing it, @El Pip !
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It is important to re-read the classics.
I'm also pleased that it stands up to re-reading.
Hurrah!
Why blame a laptop when you can blame Paradox for the forum upgrade? Or just for anything else that needs a cause.
Thank you for that. The sort of feedback a writer dreams of.
It is hard to believe it has ended. It has been going on for so long that there is still a hole where once it sat.
Heresy! But also a rabbit hole of baffling Swedish design choices.
Most of Slovakia ended up under British control, then the awful HOI3 peace event fired and Czechoslovakia burst into existence. It tried (and failed) to annex Slovakia first, so just ended up as the Czech areas (but called Czechoslovakia), which left Britain free to re-create Slovakia as a British puppet.
And if you do that.. the game gets confused, keeps Slovakia as Fascist and then puts Pruzinsky in charge as a 'noMinisterType' President with Karol Sidor as Prime Minister.
Karol Sidor has never been mentioned, but he was a mildly interesting, mid-level minion who ended up escaping justice with help from the Pope (as so many did). He's not been mentioned because, bafflingly, he is one of a dozen or so fascist minister who only unlock January 1945. I cannot begin to understand the thinking behind that choice, why more ministers at that point? What possible difference did anyone think it would make?
On the plus side, Lendvay becomes available as Head of the Army, which is nice for him I suppose.
I am proud of him I admit. I think I'm more Pruzinsky myself (occasionally drifting into Fritz when I get caught up in details nobody should really care about).
I am delighted you enjoyed catching up.
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It is important to re-read the classics.
I'm also pleased that it stands up to re-reading.
It is basically a prequel to Ged's exetential nightmare being a horrific world full of incompetence and dread where the very world itself wants you dead and doesn't paly by the rules.
There's also rare moments of heroism from Steiner, the nation of Ecaudor, some members of the British army etc, which stand in relief to every else being awful and stupid.
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Since I haven't read the 2019 Comedy AAR of the Year since early 2019 (I blame the Czechs *spits*), I have binge-read every update starting with Colombia and her two very bony ministers and the one military chief split four ways. I thoroughly enjoyed the ride, El Pip. Every update was funny and filled with great moments. Bolivia's leader filling his cabinet with people in exile, people who are dead, and a person who is dead and buried in Paris. King Haakon shamelessly self-promoting his own AAR. Venezuela's hardcore dedication to peace. Light bulbs in Nazi Germany. Oman's incredibly dead cabinet. The stunning "I should be on a poster" look of Air Chief Marshall Barratt. The Slovakian government teleporting (!) to Berlin to meet its' dramatic end. And Hapsburg Empire trousers. Gotta have trousers.
I love this AAR, El Pip. Great work!
I love this AAR, El Pip. Great work!
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Wise man. They are always to blame for all Slovak misfortunes. ;
I am delighted you enjoyed this one, it is definitely a bit more consistent in tone and in my own view I definitely got better at writing because of it. I also developed an irrational interest in Slovakia from all this, it is irrational because none of them were nice (the exact opposite mostly), heroic (definitely not) or motivated by a noble cause (sort of but not really). Yet I always perk up a bit to see them mentioned, T&T did manage to leave that mark on me. So I am glad you and others enjoyed it, proves those psychological scars were worth it!I have binge-read every update starting with Colombia and her two very bony ministers and the one military chief split four ways. I thoroughly enjoyed the ride, El Pip. Every update was funny and filled with great moments. Bolivia's leader filling his cabinet with people in exile, people who are dead, and a person who is dead and buried in Paris. King Haakon shamelessly self-promoting his own AAR. Venezuela's hardcore dedication to peace. Light bulbs in Nazi Germany. Oman's incredibly dead cabinet. The stunning "I should be on a poster" look of Air Chief Marshall Barratt. The Slovakian government teleporting (!) to Berlin to meet its' dramatic end. And Hapsburg Empire trousers. Gotta have trousers.
I love this AAR, El Pip. Great work!
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It feels like the bastard child of Waiting for Godot and Catch 22 to me. Best AAR on these forums, period.
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