Inevitable Defeat - Slovakia '44

[El Pip]

You may have found your calling in a CKII aar where you play a single county island trying to build a cathedral. Start in 769 and see if you manage it by 1399.

If there was a Slovak culture I would be half tempted to go CK2 for a T&T prequel. But alas whilere there is a Duchy of Slovakia it contains no Slovaks only Sloviens.

Depends if anyone survived, I guess.

Grenade+Small Space = No survivors. No papal assisted get-away to South America for T&T, just a cleaner end than they deserved.

I beaver away on something over the weekend, and look what happens: you actually finish an AAR! I’m sure Einstein would have something to say about the distortion of time, mumble mumble, opposite of speed of light, mumble.

Einstein would also say "Areet, look at the cans on that bonny lass!" if he was talking about Marilyn Monroe and was, for some reason, trying to impersonate a Geordie.

I have a nice black beret just like it, which I wore proudly for 23 years (though I did take it off occasionally during that time, when necessary). The best and most dashing headwear imaginable. The SAS one is only marginally less magnificent (but I’m biased). But they have to be made and worn properly. You see many that should attract the attention of lawyers in The Hague.

Speaking as someone who also wore a black beret courtesy of a different army, I wore it with pride myself, but didn't think it should have been a thing. Relegate it to the Airborne, I say, and the Special Forces, and the Rangers.... and the "Security Forces Assistance Brigades," whatever those are. Granted, I've also seen our forces unable to wear ours properly, and you all have a far different method of wear than we do (easier, I daresay).

Commonwealth forces are good with berets. Pretty much everyone gets one, unless you guard the queen.

Excellent beret discussion and respect to those who wore it with varying degress of success and elan, though I hastend to add I am sure my good readers always looked dashing.

It was excellent for tanks as it was compact, you could put your headset on over the top, use the sights properly and it would not get in the way in a closed space. Black too, so didn’t show the grease and grime to badly. Main problem in an Australian summer (would be similar say in Iraq) was the lack of sun protection for the face.

Also, there is nowhere to hang any corks from on a beret.

Very likely. Last words: “Oh, I say, laughing too hard and causing the driver to crash the staff car. What dashed rotten luck. But worth it for the jape.” “Yes, too bad old chap. Wizard prang, though!” “Why thank you, dear Bertie. Tootle-Pip!” <expires with wry smile on face>
As does the AAR. Wizard story, old chap!

This is now canon for what happened on the British side of the Battle for Berlin.

Being a part of this community, and of your readership, has been and will remain an honor and a privilege.

No sir, the honour is mine to have such readers and, dare I say it, to have made a few friends through this endeavour.

Well, I suppose that all is well if it ends well and with a laugh...

What more can any comedy AAR writer ask for? Thank you for sticking with this one to the end Kurtie.

A perfect ending: Malar leading the defence of Berlin against 'Pip' Roberts.

Once I had the idea of Pip being in the final battle I could not resist doing it, I am glad it was well received.

Looking forward to your next project, whatever it may be.

I would do a Nukes for Nepal remake, but I think it is impossible in HOI3 due to the changes to the tech tree process. I will have to find something else to distract me from the call of the Fjords...

My god, it's over. It's really, finally over.

I don't know what I'm going to do with my life now.... Maybe I'll retire to some calming fjords....

I am actually sort of proud of having written something that people are going to miss, though I realise this statement is of absolutely no help at all at this time. For your future plans definitely steer clear of King Haakon, there is nothing calming about his weekends in the Fjords.

I know! It was Inevitable, but that doesn’t make the ending any easier to process.

Deny -That the AAR is over
Anger - That T&T did not get the trial they deserved
Bargaining - Trying to get King Haakon and the Fjords restarted
Depression - That Norway is also doomed and won't last long
Acceptance - That people should start reading Butterfly Effect

That is how the Stages of Grief go isn't it? ( )

 

[TheButterflyComposer]

If there was a Slovak culture I would be half tempted to go CK2 for a T&T prequel. But alas whilere there is a Duchy of Slovakia it contains no Slovaks only Sloviens.

Iceland is the CKII equivalent. The newer updates have attempted to make it technically possibly to make an Icelandic kingdom and added another two counties to the island (bringing the total to four) but it remains a minuscule, desolate wasteland far removed from the rest of the map, economically and technologically backward and constantly under attack from Norwegians (and if very unlucky, Scotland).

You start as an Icelandic chief, you're doomed to being someone's vassal or toothpick before too long.

It was actually worse OTL however. Iceland was populated in the late 9th century and within a century had become dependant on Norway importing wood because the native stuff was all gone. Who the people wandering around the island in the mid eighth century are is anyone's guess. Boringness answer is probably hiberno-Scots but since it's Paradox, it's much more likely to be moon people with extremely efficient wood burners.

 

[Kurt_Steiner]

What more can any comedy AAR writer ask for? Thank you for sticking with this one to the end Kurtie.

I'm proud to say I lived to see the day when you finished a TL before my grandsons were ever born...

Being myself, a wicked by gentle guy, I would suggest that you try to do the same with the Spanish Civil War (extra bonus if you go to the Nats and you manage to be as heroic as good old Tiso

 

[nuclearslurpee]

I'm proud to say I lived to see the day when you finished a TL before my grandsons were ever born...

Being myself, a wicked by gentle guy, I would suggest that you try to do the same with the Spanish Civil War (extra bonus if you go to the Nats and you manage to be as heroic as good old Tiso

Now here we have to be very careful. Even by Paradox standards, the implementation of the Spanish Civil War is so anti-historical, I'm not certain our esteemed Lord El Pip would be able to keep to even slower-than-real-time, and the AAR might freeze entirely amidst dozens of chapters of ranting and raving!

 

[H.Appleby]

Deny -That the AAR is over
Anger - That T&T did not get the trial they deserved
Bargaining - Trying to get King Haakon and the Fjords restarted
Depression - That Norway is also doomed and won't last long
Acceptance - That people should start reading Butterfly Effect

This summarizes my reactions nicely

 

[racebear75]

It is finally done. It's over. Thank you so much for the pleasure to read this awesome AAR.

 

[Athalcor]

Oh well, it is over! After all these years, even slower-than-real-time stories do come to an end.

And I would say it's been emotional, indeed. Several years ago, I started to gradually disengage from computer games; in the process, my subscribed threads here have slowly dwindled and disappeared. Aside of one: this AAR. And being the completionist I am, of course I had to see it finish. So every now and then I would pop in to Paradoxplaza to read an update or two of the "Inevitable Defeat". And here it is: the end. And I must say it also spells the end of Paradoxplaza for me. It has been a fine decade or (basically the same length as this AAR itself, ahaha) but its ending is fitting for sure. So thanks for entertaining me (and many others) until the very end ;-).

 

[El Pip]

Iceland is the CKII equivalent. The newer updates have attempted to make it technically possibly to make an Icelandic kingdom and added another two counties to the island (bringing the total to four) but it remains a minuscule, desolate wasteland far removed from the rest of the map, economically and technologically backward and constantly under attack from Norwegians (and if very unlucky, Scotland).

You start as an Icelandic chief, you're doomed to being someone's vassal or toothpick before too long.

It was actually worse OTL however. Iceland was populated in the late 9th century and within a century had become dependant on Norway importing wood because the native stuff was all gone. Who the people wandering around the island in the mid eighth century are is anyone's guess. Boringness answer is probably hiberno-Scots but since it's Paradox, it's much more likely to be moon people with extremely efficient wood burners.

While I do enjoy an Icelandic Saga and in theory CK2 with all he mods is ideal for that sort of story telling, I fear Paradox will have cocked it up. Probably due to it being an island and every paradox game-engine ever made struggling with the concept of water.

I'm proud to say I lived to see the day when you finished a TL before my grandsons were ever born...

A mighty achievement indeed.

Being myself, a wicked by gentle guy, I would suggest that you try to do the same with the Spanish Civil War (extra bonus if you go to the Nats and you manage to be as heroic as good old Tiso

Now here we have to be very careful. Even by Paradox standards, the implementation of the Spanish Civil War is so anti-historical, I'm not certain our esteemed Lord El Pip would be able to keep to even slower-than-real-time, and the AAR might freeze entirely amidst dozens of chapters of ranting and raving!

Sorry Kurtie, I have many, many AAR ideas to go through before I would even consider Spain. And as @nuclearslurpee points out, given the very random nature of the Spanish Civil War as implemented by Paradox would any of us really wish to risk dozens of chapters on the factions of the sub-faction in the Catalan anarchist government?

This summarizes my reactions nicely

It is good to have a process to work through. Though it does mean I may have to consider actually finish King Haakon so people have the necessary tools to deal with their grief. Such are the burdens of actually finishing the work.

It is finally done. It's over. Thank you so much for the pleasure to read this awesome AAR.

Thank you for sticking with it and such kind words.

Oh well, it is over! After all these years, even slower-than-real-time stories do come to an end.

And I would say it's been emotional, indeed. Several years ago, I started to gradually disengage from computer games; in the process, my subscribed threads here have slowly dwindled and disappeared. Aside of one: this AAR. And being the completionist I am, of course I had to see it finish. So every now and then I would pop in to Paradoxplaza to read an update or two of the "Inevitable Defeat". And here it is: the end. And I must say it also spells the end of Paradoxplaza for me. It has been a fine decade or (basically the same length as this AAR itself, ahaha) but its ending is fitting for sure. So thanks for entertaining me (and many others) until the very end ;-).

I am touched that out of all the amazing writers around here you stuck around for this. While I am sad to see you go, at least I kept you entertained to the end and it all went out on a high. Good luck on your adventures in non-gaming places.

 

[TheButterflyComposer]

While I do enjoy an Icelandic Saga and in theory CK2 with all he mods is ideal for that sort of story telling, I fear Paradox will have cocked it up. Probably due to it being an island and every paradox game-engine ever made struggling with the concept of water.

Oh paradox fixed that problem by removing naval combat altogether.

 

[El Pip]

Oh paradox fixed that problem by removing naval combat altogether.

As I have said elsewhere there is a certain direct and unsubtle logic to the Paradox way of thinking. I imagine if one of the developers loses a shoe they just chop that foot off, because that avoids the effort of having to go and buy a new shoe.

 

[TheButterflyComposer]

As I have said elsewhere there is a certain direct and unsubtle logic to the Paradox way of thinking. I imagine if one of the developers loses a shoe they just chop that foot off, because that avoids the effort of having to go and buy a new shoe.

To try and get inside their thought process for a minute (scary prospect of course), I imagine they were trying to make sure that small and large sea raids were possible by tribal and pagan factions, so no naval combat makes naval landings way easier for everyone with boats (and to be fair to them, if that's what they were going for it works, because the AI loves shipping troops around and even manages to attack islands every now and again).
The problem is that this really hurts the game, especially in start periods where there's one or two massive empires and everyone else is super weak. Certainly is next to impossible to do a proper roleplay of a British Isle or Scandinavian playthrough because your navy exists only to move your land army around. This makes them both super weak to begin with and nearly invincible if the player or anyone else manages to forge a stable kingdom in either of these places.

I won't be getting ckiii until its finished (about 10 years from now) but I hope there's something to the naval combat in that game. I get a shock whenever I do port over a save to EUIV and have to actually start thinking about water.

 

[El Pip]

A brief experiment has confirmed that the next El Pip AAR will not be a homage to Nukes for Nepal. While Nepal can 'rush' (relatively speaking) the techs and start building a reactor by early '43 the IC cost is just too high and it wont be done till mid '46. While the war will probably still be going at that point (this is the AI we are talking about) Nepal will then have to build a wing of heavy bombers and again, researching them is easy(ish), building one will take years.

I suppose you mod the game so Nepal wasn't a puppet and then invade Tibet, interfere in the Chinese-Japan war to try and grab land, and various other things to increase base IC. But that is, to me at least, not really in the spirit of the thing. Yes a large Nepalese Empire could do it, the question was could standard game Nepal get a nuke and attack their mortal foes - Bhutan. And the answer to that is - maybe by the late 1950s and not in a way that would be in anyway interesting to report on.

 

[TheButterflyComposer]

How about a game of AI chicken?

 

[Kurt_Steiner]

Try Switzerland.

 

[TheButterflyComposer]

Try Switzerland.

Oh yes, he'd like that. There's literally nothing to do but talk about economic policy and small technical details.

 

[Fiftypence]

Congrats on finishing this, El Pip. I've lurked it for a while and enjoyed it immensely.

 

[nuclearslurpee]

Oh yes, he'd like that. There's literally nothing to do but talk about economic policy and small technical details.

If Lord El Pip will do this, I'll happily link him to a thread in the HPP forums debating the Swiss OOB in excruciating detail. Not for any practical purpose or to convert him to the modded world, just to give him more things to complain about with high accuracy.

 

[El Pip]

Try Switzerland.

I had a look. *Shudder*. I'll admit having Einstein available as your "Technical Specialist" Minister of Intelligence did make me chuckle, because Technical Specialist makes your spies better at espionage / counter-espionage - it's technical as in 'Q-branch boffins'.

The idea of Einstein as Q did almost tempt me into doing an Intel heavy AAR about the Swiss secret service and its struggle to do anything interesting, at all, ever. But while it is good for a couple of jokes "This is your new pen, click the lid twice and a nuclear reaction occurs destroying everything within a several mile radius" it falls down on the immense dullness of Switzerland.

Oh yes, he'd like that. There's literally nothing to do but talk about economic policy and small technical details.

Even within that narrow window Swiss economic policy is also dull.

Congrats on finishing this, El Pip. I've lurked it for a while and enjoyed it immensely.

Thank you for delurking to say so.

If Lord El Pip will do this, I'll happily link him to a thread in the HPP forums debating the Swiss OOB in excruciating detail. Not for any practical purpose or to convert him to the modded world, just to give him more things to complain about with high accuracy.

I will obviously take that link as it sounds interesting regardless.

Overall the Swiss are handicapped by being 100% neutral so even with the 'Prepare for War' event and spies working flat out on threat raising you cannot declare war on Austria before Anschluss. At which point your choice are war with Italy, France or Germany any one of who can easily flatten you.

There is the Vichy gambit, waiting till '42 and the declaring war on Vichy. So you could do that and thus gain a coastline to build a Submarine and achieve Subs for the Swiss. But doesn't seem a particularly interesting path or one that would be an entertaining read.

 

[nuclearslurpee]

I will obviously take that link as it sounds interesting regardless.

Ask and ye might receive, depending on who ye ask and the mood of ye olde askee.

Fortunately, I'm in a good mood, so here's the link.

 

[Cromwell]

Oh yes, he'd like that. There's literally nothing to do but talk about economic policy and small technical details.

I'm ashamed to say that this made me laugh out loud. Sorry Pip.