@El Pip: half Polish, but no Czech *spit* (and all Australian 
). Is that better or worse?
). Is that better or worse? El Pip will stoop to conquer.
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Good to see Croatia is cutting excessive use of accents, only by spending their precious resources wisely can the Axis defeat their innumerable enemies.
A man who understands the important things in AAR writing, a true gentleman and scholar.
Damn right. I didn't get where I am today (a 14:1 Real Time:Game Time ratio) by rushing.
As you shamelessly used the top of the page for this post, clearly worse. They only way you could be more Australian is if you started ineptly cheating at Cricket and then lying about it.@El Pip: half Polish, but no Czech *spit* (and all Australian
El Pip will stoop to conquer.
Wise words, if the rest of the Axis could be convinced to carry out similar policies it could delay their eventual defeat by hours, possibly a whole day.
On that note, back to Bratislava!
18th to 19th December 1944
18th December 1944
It's Monday morning, which means cabinet meeting day in Slovakia. While the Race to Bratislava continued there was still a country to run. We join the cabinet as they are debating Slovak health policy.
"This Home Eel Path malarkey sounds a trifle suspect to me." Pruzinsky declared while polishing his monocle.
"I assure you it is at least as effective as our current treatments while being significantly cheaper." Health Minister Durcansky enthused about his plan.
"The leech farms are a significant drain on the exchequer." Pruzinsky conceded.
Deciding that he had heard more than enough about the subject, Tuka interrupted to move the agenda forward.
"This is all well and good, but I believe we have a message from Berlin to consider?" Tuka said.
"Is it another demand that we die quietly but efficiently for the German war effort?" Tiso was familiar with the kind of messages Slovakia normally received.
"No, it is from the OKW." General Kubela pulled out the ornately written scroll. "They request that General Turanec hold at all costs until the 3rd Fallschirmjäger division can finish it's tactical re-deployment and reach Arad."
3. Fallschirmjäger division is wearing Croatian uniforms in order to confuse the enemy. And OKW. And themselves. A number of German divisions (wearing Hungarians uniforms) are rushing to reinforce the Slovaks bravely holding the line against impossible odds.
There was a stunned silence.
19th December
Having taken a night to recover from the shock of being given an actually important job to do by Germany, the Slovak cabinet has re-assembled.
"I bring urgent news from Berlin." Baron von Killinger announced.
Tiso braced for the worst.
"Congratulations to the hero General Turanec and his brave men. The Fallschirmjäger Korps, the OKW and the German people send their thanks for their bravery in holding Arad while the 3rd Fallschirmjäger division heroically tactically re-deployed." The Baron announced with a tear in his eye.
This has gone suspiciously well. By the very low standards of the Axis forces on the Eastern Front.
As the general staff cheered and the cabinet started congratulating each other, Tiso stared at the door.
"What are you doing?" Tuka asked in concern.
"Waiting." Tiso kept up his staring.
The door burst in with a messenger, a note handed to General Kubela.
"General Jurech reports he is under heavy Allied air attack." Kubela announced.
The (2nd Slovak) Division had been quietly holding the line in Romilly along side the Panzer Lehr Division until a rather rude RAAF officer interrupted with far too many high explosives.
"In the short term their plan is to shelter under the German commanders ridiculously long name." Kubela finished reading the message.
Relieved that the world was once again behaving as expected, Tiso took out his hip flask and did his part in re-asserting normality.
---
Notes:
Wing Commander Brill was a RAAF officer who managed to do all sort of brave and useful things while flying for Bomber Command, not least picking up the nickname "Mad" for his habit of circling back over the target to make sure his squadron had bombed it properly. An interesting chap.
The German officer did indeed have a name that long, though in practice he did use a shortened version. "Lehr" is "Teaching" in German so Panzer Lehr was the division raised from the staff of the Panzer training and demonstration schools. So terrifyingly good and with all the latest equipment, at the minor cost of catastrophically reducing the quality of future reinforcements.
It's Monday morning, which means cabinet meeting day in Slovakia. While the Race to Bratislava continued there was still a country to run. We join the cabinet as they are debating Slovak health policy.
"This Home Eel Path malarkey sounds a trifle suspect to me." Pruzinsky declared while polishing his monocle.
"I assure you it is at least as effective as our current treatments while being significantly cheaper." Health Minister Durcansky enthused about his plan.
"The leech farms are a significant drain on the exchequer." Pruzinsky conceded.
Deciding that he had heard more than enough about the subject, Tuka interrupted to move the agenda forward.
"This is all well and good, but I believe we have a message from Berlin to consider?" Tuka said.
"Is it another demand that we die quietly but efficiently for the German war effort?" Tiso was familiar with the kind of messages Slovakia normally received.
"No, it is from the OKW." General Kubela pulled out the ornately written scroll. "They request that General Turanec hold at all costs until the 3rd Fallschirmjäger division can finish it's tactical re-deployment and reach Arad."
3. Fallschirmjäger division is wearing Croatian uniforms in order to confuse the enemy. And OKW. And themselves. A number of German divisions (wearing Hungarians uniforms) are rushing to reinforce the Slovaks bravely holding the line against impossible odds.
There was a stunned silence.
19th December
Having taken a night to recover from the shock of being given an actually important job to do by Germany, the Slovak cabinet has re-assembled.
"I bring urgent news from Berlin." Baron von Killinger announced.
Tiso braced for the worst.
"Congratulations to the hero General Turanec and his brave men. The Fallschirmjäger Korps, the OKW and the German people send their thanks for their bravery in holding Arad while the 3rd Fallschirmjäger division heroically tactically re-deployed." The Baron announced with a tear in his eye.
This has gone suspiciously well. By the very low standards of the Axis forces on the Eastern Front.
As the general staff cheered and the cabinet started congratulating each other, Tiso stared at the door.
"What are you doing?" Tuka asked in concern.
"Waiting." Tiso kept up his staring.
The door burst in with a messenger, a note handed to General Kubela.
"General Jurech reports he is under heavy Allied air attack." Kubela announced.
The (2nd Slovak) Division had been quietly holding the line in Romilly along side the Panzer Lehr Division until a rather rude RAAF officer interrupted with far too many high explosives.
"In the short term their plan is to shelter under the German commanders ridiculously long name." Kubela finished reading the message.
Relieved that the world was once again behaving as expected, Tiso took out his hip flask and did his part in re-asserting normality.
---
Notes:
Wing Commander Brill was a RAAF officer who managed to do all sort of brave and useful things while flying for Bomber Command, not least picking up the nickname "Mad" for his habit of circling back over the target to make sure his squadron had bombed it properly. An interesting chap.
The German officer did indeed have a name that long, though in practice he did use a shortened version. "Lehr" is "Teaching" in German so Panzer Lehr was the division raised from the staff of the Panzer training and demonstration schools. So terrifyingly good and with all the latest equipment, at the minor cost of catastrophically reducing the quality of future reinforcements.
Hooray! Let's all swig a beverage for the chaps of the 2nd (Slovakian Best) Division!
I have reached a similar degree of concern in my own, and thus, much of the newest Panzer-divisionen in my game are similarly made up of Panzer Lehr staff...
I have reached a similar degree of concern in my own, and thus, much of the newest Panzer-divisionen in my game are similarly made up of Panzer Lehr staff...
I did indeed play cricket today, but did not deploy any sandpaper. We got smashed. There could be a lesson in that, but I’m not looking for it. We did about as well as Slovakia is doing in this game. Wish I’d had a hip flask. But I’ll toast Turanec tonight will a tasty beverage.
All true. But equally I'm sure it was wrong in HOI2 and Paradox just copied the same mistake across.
Still at least in HOI4 they've just deleted all flavour entirely, so technically they have at last 'fixed' the mistake.
That is the kind of fixes that furthers the advances of mankind!
Worry not, with the slovaks on their side the panzer lehr will win the war single handesly
Glad to see at least some divisions are able to heroically tactically re-deploy which - at the Eastern Front - is a really Important feature.
Now will Turanec heroically tactically re-deploy further west, south, whatever direction is still possible with the Cunningly Slovak Dressed Fallschirmjäger?
Now will Turanec heroically tactically re-deploy further west, south, whatever direction is still possible with the Cunningly Slovak Dressed Fallschirmjäger?
The fight over which Slovak division is best would be fiercer than anything that happened in the Slovak Civil War or any of the fronts Slovakia is fighting on.
A wise plan. Make sure it's the finest *censored* beverage for the true Slovak experience.
There is a certain brutal logic to the Paradox way of working. I imagine if any of the developers lose a shoe they just chop that foot off, it saves the effort of having to get a new shoe. That sort of thing.
I'd offer you a job in the Slovak Propaganda department, but T&T prefer the carrot over the stick when dealing with the populace. "Work harder or we publish more Jesensky poetry" was the last campaign they ran.
It is suspicious isn't it? But it was only a minor success and I'm sure things will revert to normal in the next chapter.
The invention of the Heroic Tactical Re-Deployment is probably the best thing OKW has done all year, saving many divisions and keeping the Soviet hordes from advancing too quickly.
As to Turanec's fate/plan, that will have to wait until we return to Bratislava. Which should be soon(ish).
20th December 1944
20th December 1944
It's Wednesday and the weekly Slovak cabinet meeting continues to ineptly drag itself towards a conclusion, but without ever seeming to reach one. However there are just military matters to discuss so Tiso is hopeful it may all be over soon. The meeting, not the war. But at this rate it could go either way.
"So what is Turanec's plan for the battle now that the Fallschirmjäger's have re-deployed?" Tiso asked General Kubela.
"Running away." Kubela confidently stated.
"What?!" Baron von Killinger screamed. "He has been entrusted command of that battle by the OKW, by the Fuhrer himself, he cannot shirk it."
"Of course he can. Shirking of sacred duties is a constitutional right." Tuka countered, as Fritz nodded in agreement.
"In any event he didn't chose to shirk anything, German reinforcements turned up so Turanec is no longer in command." Kubeal continued.
The famous Helmut Thumm of the 5th Jäger Division has relieved Turanec. His greatest weapon is not his strategic insight or severe glasses, but making the enemy laugh at his suggestive name.
"Surely he has not been ordered to retreat?!" Von Killinger tried to scream louder but failed, as his vocal chords had already peaked. Tuka shook his head sadly at such a rookie mistake.
"He has, General Thumm instructed him to pull his troops out of the line as they were combat ineffective."
"Ahh, they are being withdrawn so they can rebuild after severe casualties." Von Killinger calmed down.
Mala read the note again.
"No, it just says they aren't effective at combat and should pull back to get out of the way."
Along with the re-deployment of the 1st (Heroes of Arad) Division to Salonta the observant will also note lots of Germans in Hungarian uniforms and some US Airborne troops in British uniforms wandering around Soviet-occupied Romania.
Rapidly moving the subject on Tiso asks about the Western Front.
"General Juanec reports that the German High Command has developed a cunning plan." Kubela said.
Tiso instinctively checked his hip-flask.
"Juranec believes the plan will prevent the RAF, RCAF and RAAF from bombing his division out of existence."
"What about the USAAF bombing?" Tiso asked suspiciously
"The Americans are far too busy ineptly bombing Ecuador to do anything in Europe." Malar explained.
Tiso felt a brief pang of sympathy for Churchill having to fight a war with such helpful allies.
"What is the German plan?" Tuka got to the point of the issue.
"Attack Nemours." Kubela said.
The cowardly General Lattmann leads a strong Axis attack against a lone British armoured division led by a suspiciously well-hatted British general. Juranec and the Slovaks secure the supply lines of the attack.
"It's the last thing they will be expecting." Malar confirms.
---
Notes:
General Thumm seems a decent enough sort as far as German Eastern Front generals go. Worked his way up to Corps Commander by late '44/early '45 then got sacked for disobeying an order to send a HitlerYouth division into a suicidal attack. Got released from post-war PoW camp relatively early and with no trial, so I'm assuming nothing especially nasty in his war record.
The Allies are still at war with Ecuador and the US AI is putting a lot of aerial effort into that. Not to any real effect it must be said, in fact I suspect the logistical strain of supporting so much air power on the local terrible infrastructure is the main reason the war is still dragging on.
It's Wednesday and the weekly Slovak cabinet meeting continues to ineptly drag itself towards a conclusion, but without ever seeming to reach one. However there are just military matters to discuss so Tiso is hopeful it may all be over soon. The meeting, not the war. But at this rate it could go either way.
"So what is Turanec's plan for the battle now that the Fallschirmjäger's have re-deployed?" Tiso asked General Kubela.
"Running away." Kubela confidently stated.
"What?!" Baron von Killinger screamed. "He has been entrusted command of that battle by the OKW, by the Fuhrer himself, he cannot shirk it."
"Of course he can. Shirking of sacred duties is a constitutional right." Tuka countered, as Fritz nodded in agreement.
"In any event he didn't chose to shirk anything, German reinforcements turned up so Turanec is no longer in command." Kubeal continued.
The famous Helmut Thumm of the 5th Jäger Division has relieved Turanec. His greatest weapon is not his strategic insight or severe glasses, but making the enemy laugh at his suggestive name.
"Surely he has not been ordered to retreat?!" Von Killinger tried to scream louder but failed, as his vocal chords had already peaked. Tuka shook his head sadly at such a rookie mistake.
"He has, General Thumm instructed him to pull his troops out of the line as they were combat ineffective."
"Ahh, they are being withdrawn so they can rebuild after severe casualties." Von Killinger calmed down.
Mala read the note again.
"No, it just says they aren't effective at combat and should pull back to get out of the way."
Along with the re-deployment of the 1st (Heroes of Arad) Division to Salonta the observant will also note lots of Germans in Hungarian uniforms and some US Airborne troops in British uniforms wandering around Soviet-occupied Romania.
Rapidly moving the subject on Tiso asks about the Western Front.
"General Juanec reports that the German High Command has developed a cunning plan." Kubela said.
Tiso instinctively checked his hip-flask.
"Juranec believes the plan will prevent the RAF, RCAF and RAAF from bombing his division out of existence."
"What about the USAAF bombing?" Tiso asked suspiciously
"The Americans are far too busy ineptly bombing Ecuador to do anything in Europe." Malar explained.
Tiso felt a brief pang of sympathy for Churchill having to fight a war with such helpful allies.
"What is the German plan?" Tuka got to the point of the issue.
"Attack Nemours." Kubela said.
The cowardly General Lattmann leads a strong Axis attack against a lone British armoured division led by a suspiciously well-hatted British general. Juranec and the Slovaks secure the supply lines of the attack.
"It's the last thing they will be expecting." Malar confirms.
---
Notes:
General Thumm seems a decent enough sort as far as German Eastern Front generals go. Worked his way up to Corps Commander by late '44/early '45 then got sacked for disobeying an order to send a HitlerYouth division into a suicidal attack. Got released from post-war PoW camp relatively early and with no trial, so I'm assuming nothing especially nasty in his war record.
The Allies are still at war with Ecuador and the US AI is putting a lot of aerial effort into that. Not to any real effect it must be said, in fact I suspect the logistical strain of supporting so much air power on the local terrible infrastructure is the main reason the war is still dragging on.
The US decided that defeating Ecuador and sending spies to communist Romania was a better use of their resources than defeating Germany. And from what I've seen in this playthrough, it's hard to say that they are wrong.
Reminds me of a bit from the Robin Williams "Live on Broadway"... OPERATION EXTREME REDUNDANCY... (at 7:35)
Getting the brightly bluecoated musketlines of Slovak infantry out of the way was probably a good idea.
Is the luftwaffe still a thing that exists over Germany or is fighting off the enemy airforces something that has now solely been entrusted upon the Panzerwaffe and the Slovakians?
Is the luftwaffe still a thing that exists over Germany or is fighting off the enemy airforces something that has now solely been entrusted upon the Panzerwaffe and the Slovakians?
Ouch...they aren't even good at being meatshields.
???
Why is this a thing?
Probably because the US-AI takes the idea of the Monroe Doctrine waaaaay too seriously.
Its much more mundane, the distance from that theatre (or Capital) is shorter than to any other target ...
Oh yes the doctrine is super easy and super powerful for us players to use. Not sure what the ai uses all that poltical power for though.
Anyway, I guess the US shall enjoyed blasting other small countries to pieces.
Anyway, I guess the US shall enjoyed blasting other small countries to pieces.
General Roberts does indeed know how to wear the famed armoured corps black beret properly so may even know how to command an armoured division properly! Otherwise, the Slovak troops are being employed quite effectively! Holding the line pretty doggedly in the east against a Soviet commander who has a guards tank division and (by the look of him) no sense of humour!
And in the west, freshened up and in reserve for an attack no less, with some semblance of a chance of winning. All futile, of course, but given the general situation I can see why the hipflasks remained stoppered for once. This surely counts as glorious success by T&T’s usual standards.
And in the west, freshened up and in reserve for an attack no less, with some semblance of a chance of winning. All futile, of course, but given the general situation I can see why the hipflasks remained stoppered for once. This surely counts as glorious success by T&T’s usual standards.