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Very witty Kelebek, very witty! ;)

It's all in the set up really, ably provided by Wraith. Was an excellent zinger though.

Paris is a city that thoroughly does not deserve its beautiful reputation and is pretty much the blot in an otherwise nice country (or so the stereotype goes). In actuality, it's much like a smaller version of London that's been smashed apart even more often and pulls far too much weight in its own country. Watching it get defended by Slovakia, and then being blown up, is something to savour (so long as you pretend there are no people in it of course. Rather hard to enjoy modern war without pushing civillians waaaay out of your mind).

So France is close to being liberated presumably and the British have to find a new victim to play with other than their ally's capital city. Why do i get the feeling fhat Slovakia should be glad that the communists are going to take over their country and purge it, rather than be surrounded by Britian and then be toyed with like a half dead bird by a rather sick cat?
 
Why do i get the feeling fhat Slovakia should be glad that the communists are going to take over their country and purge it, rather than be surrounded by Britian and then be toyed with like a half dead bird by a rather sick cat?
The Poles in Warsaw in 1944 might say the Soviets would pull the same trick, only let someone else do the toying, before jumping in and purging. Not nice at all. If there’s a Bratislava uprising of social realist poets when the Soviets are on the doorstep, they shouldn’t be expecting much help from that quarter. :(
 
Slovakia can always take pride in the fact they defended Paris better than the French did.
It is a low bar, but they cleared it with ease and aplomb.

But really, if one takes pride in being better than the French, is there really any pride to be taken at all?
This is Slovakia we are talking about, they are in absolutely no position at all to be fussy about what to take pride in. They must grab any opportunity, no matter how meagre.

Depends what subject. They still lead the world in many things. Looking at statistics, they are fantastic at stealing cars, and unparalleled in knocking down various parts of Paris and then complaining about it.
Don't you mean setting them alight?
One does not necessarily preclude the other.
Very witty Kelebek, very witty! ;)
rimshot.gif


Paris is a city that thoroughly does not deserve its beautiful reputation and is pretty much the blot in an otherwise nice country (or so the stereotype goes). In actuality, it's much like a smaller version of London that's been smashed apart even more often and pulls far too much weight in its own country. Watching it get defended by Slovakia, and then being blown up, is something to savour (so long as you pretend there are no people in it of course. Rather hard to enjoy modern war without pushing civillians waaaay out of your mind).

So France is close to being liberated presumably and the British have to find a new victim to play with other than their ally's capital city. Why do i get the feeling fhat Slovakia should be glad that the communists are going to take over their country and purge it, rather than be surrounded by Britian and then be toyed with like a half dead bird by a rather sick cat?
I have never heard good things about Paris and my only limited forays to the place have not left me with a burning desire to return. Slovakia will be 'lucky' as the nearest Allied army is the the Commonwealth/British force racing around the Alps and Balkans who are doing a decent job, the D-Day lot with the large American contingent and the random Mexicans are the laggards who have been batting at Paris and wondering why it's stopped moving. At their current rate of progress they are unlikely to reach the German border before Slovakia is long gone.

The Poles in Warsaw in 1944 might say the Soviets would pull the same trick, only let someone else do the toying, before jumping in and purging. Not nice at all. If there’s a Bratislava uprising of social realist poets when the Soviets are on the doorstep, they shouldn’t be expecting much help from that quarter. :(
The Slovaks would also say similar about the Soviets, amazingly most of the Slovak Communists failed to take part in the Slovak National Uprising and then the Soviet support that had been 'promised' failed to arrive. The only reason I doubt this was a cunning plan by Stalin to get opposition pre-purged in the country is that I'm not sure he could have even found Slovakia on a map, or cared if he had.
 
24th to 27th November 1944
24th November

As battle rages we return to France where the 2nd (Champion Defenders of Paris) Division is fighting against considerable odds in the streets of Paris. General Jurech and his chief of staff Colonel Lendvay are meeting in their new HQ the Hôtel de la Marine.

"Why are we meeting here?" Lendvay asked the burning question.

"It will confuse the enemy. Always important to confuse the enemy." Jurech explained.

"How will it confuse them?"

"Well this is called a Hotel but it's a government office and it's got Marine in the title but Slovakia has no coastline."

Lendvay thought about this.

"That is confusing. How did we get access to it then?" He asked.

"I borrowed it off the Kriegsmarine." Jurech said.

"Why did the Kriegsmarine have a Paris office?"

"No idea, but it all adds to the confusion." Jurech confessed.

This erudite conversation was interrupted by a phone call.

"Hello, you've reached Slovak Occupied Paris, this is the occupying force speaking." Lendvay had resigned himself to always answering the phone.

"You are out-numbered and surrounded, but to protect what is left of Paris we are prepared to allow you to declare it a Free City and leave." General Eddy got straight to the point.

"Give you a Free City?!" Lendvay googled. "We couldn't afford that, have you seen the prices they ask for a coffee? I dread to think how much they'd charge for being Free for the next occupying force!" He slammed the phone down as Jurech nodded in agreement.

26th November


The Slovak command staff have barely had a chance to start misunderstanding what is going on, when a messenger brings bleak news


qNDz2ct.jpg

The Allies are bringing their full might to bear on Slovak Occupied Paris. Some might say that is a subtle way of suggesting they left the French behind deliberately, as the French division would only make things worse. Some might be correct.

"As we feared the Allies have committed their reserves." Lendvay sighed.

Jurech stroked his stubble.

"There is one plan left, we could attempt to misdirect and distract them." He reached for the phone and dialled the invading HQ.

"General Eddy, we must warn you that if you persist you will break the Louvre." Jurech threatened.

"And why do I care about that?" Eddy growled.

"It's 7 years bad luck if you break it. And because it's so massive it's extra unlucky."

"That's just mirrors, it doesn't apply to breaking windows." Eddy explained.

"Are you sure?" Jurech looked chap-fallen.

"Absolutely."

"Bugger." Jurech hung up the phone and looked dejectedly at his colleague.

27th November
In the inadequately lit heart of Bratislava, Tiso and Tuka have been summoned to the Command Shed for the latest news.

"The heroes of the 2nd Division have decided to improve the Axis lines by reinforcing Nemours." General Kubela proudly announced.

"So they got defeated and are now retreating." Tiso translated.

nDapVN5.jpg

General Jurech started defending Paris on 30th October, while he didn't quite make the full month it is still a mighty military achievement.

"If you wanted to be negative and hurtful, I suppose you could call it that." General Malar huffed.

---
Notes:

The Kriegsmarine did indeed have an office in the Hôtel de la Marine, J&L not really understanding (or caring) what the word Hôtel actually means in French. Why the Kriegsmarine wanted a Paris office is a bit less clear, apart from the general amusement of booting the French Naval ministry out and having a good time in Paris.
 
And thus the battle for Paris ends... Unless Jurech is planning a counterattack, that is. In any case, the Slovak 2nd Division held on for far longer than expected, they surely gained a lot of experience, and will be tougher to beat for it. (relative to their 18th century weaponry and 16th century training schedule). Once again Tiko is ever the downer, hurting the General's feelings like that...
 
And thus the battle for Paris ends... Unless Jurech is planning a counterattack, that is. In any case, the Slovak 2nd Division held on for far longer than expected, they surely gained a lot of experience, and will be tougher to beat for it. (relative to their 18th century weaponry and 16th century training schedule). Once again Tiko is ever the downer, hurting the General's feelings like that...

It's all part of the plan, don't worry
 
I bet the reason for their meeting in the Hotel de la Marine is a desperate attempt to learn the secrets of sailing, with the end goal of escaping from the wrath of the Soviets by sailing across the sea to wherever the Red Army isn't. I wonder where T&T will make their next valiant stand against the forces of tyranny, IE themselves ;)
 
"It's 7 years bad luck if you break it. And because it's so massive it's extra unlucky."

"That's just mirrors, it doesn't apply to breaking windows." Eddy explained.

"Are you sure?" Jurech looked chap-fallen.

"Absolutely."

"Bugger." Jurech hung up the phone and looked dejectedly at his colleague.

Perhaps Jurech ought to have called the French division commander instead. Not only would a Frenchman care about breaking the Louvre, but seeing their reserves retreating from battle might convince the rest of the Allied forces to retreat as well - after all, if the French are retreating you'd best follow them, since they are the experts on the subject! :p
 
Why the Kriegsmarine wanted a Paris office is a bit less clear, apart from the general amusement of booting the French Naval ministry out and having a good time in Paris.

I think you answered your own question...
 
Could it be that the latent hostility to foreigners displayed by Parisians is from all of the times Paris has been occupied?
 
Could it be that the latent hostility to foreigners displayed by Parisians is from all of the times Paris has been occupied?

Might be a different history and culture too. After all, London is and was powerful in periods where it was stuffed full of different cultures and peoples from everywhere in the known world. Paris was powerful when everyone there spoke and acted as High French as possible. No deviations allowed, in their language anyway.
 
Valiant, outnumbered, futile and played for fools by the Germans. Very much in keeping with the rest of the Slovak war effort. Hip flask! Glug-glug.
 
And thus the battle for Paris ends... Unless Jurech is planning a counterattack, that is. In any case, the Slovak 2nd Division held on for far longer than expected, they surely gained a lot of experience, and will be tougher to beat for it. (relative to their 18th century weaponry and 16th century training schedule). Once again Tiko is ever the downer, hurting the General's feelings like that...
The 2nd Division will have to take a bit of time to recover, so Jurech will have time to consider all his new experience. And it is true, Tiso can be a bit grumpy if he hasn't had his hipflask. Luckily Slovakia provides many reasons to *Glug*

It's all part of the plan, don't worry
It is a brave plan, it requires the Germans to cope without the lynchpin of the Slovakians...

I bet the reason for their meeting in the Hotel de la Marine is a desperate attempt to learn the secrets of sailing, with the end goal of escaping from the wrath of the Soviets by sailing across the sea to wherever the Red Army isn't. I wonder where T&T will make their next valiant stand against the forces of tyranny, IE themselves ;)
This is an excellent reasoning and definitely what actually happened.

T&T aren't a force of tyranny, but only because they lack the training, equipment, intelligence and opportunity to be tyrannical, if they tried to start a reign of terror most Slovakians wouldn't notice the difference.

Perhaps Jurech ought to have called the French division commander instead. Not only would a Frenchman care about breaking the Louvre, but seeing their reserves retreating from battle might convince the rest of the Allied forces to retreat as well - after all, if the French are retreating you'd best follow them, since they are the experts on the subject! :p
Ha! At this point the French are the Boy who Cried Wolf of the Allies, they've retreated so much everyone ignores them. One day they will be correct to do so but it'll be too late at that point.

If they only knew that The Hall of Mirrors had at least 357 mirrors, but what can you expect of such uneducated people.
This is just the sort of knowledge and support Jurech needed. (Also I tend to forget how close Versailles is to Paris, every time I see it I am surprised, then instantly forget it.)

I think you answered your own question...
Winding up the French and some time out in Paris probably does cover it. But they must have had some proper excuse, even if it was something weak and flimsy like radio range.

Could it be that the latent hostility to foreigners displayed by Parisians is from all of the times Paris has been occupied?
Sounds plausible. A subconscious fear that if the "tourists" turn out to be an invading army then there is nothing the French Army will be able to do about it, short of surrendering.

Might be a different history and culture too. After all, London is and was powerful in periods where it was stuffed full of different cultures and peoples from everywhere in the known world. Paris was powerful when everyone there spoke and acted as High French as possible. No deviations allowed, in their language anyway.
The French are notoriously insecure about such things, but maybe not without reason. I do remember a documentary that claimed that around the borders of France the cultural blending is something of a one way trade; Italian, Spanish, German bits seep into France but not much of France goes the other way.

Valiant, outnumbered, futile and played for fools by the Germans. Very much in keeping with the rest of the Slovak war effort. Hip flask! Glug-glug.
How dare you! They won at least 3 battles, one of which lasted more than a few hours. This was the finest feat of arms in Slovak history and completely out of character with the rest of the Slovak war effort, except for the small detail that it ended in defeat. ( ;) )
 
The French are notoriously insecure about such things, but maybe not without reason. I do remember a documentary that claimed that around the borders of France the cultural blending is something of a one way trade; Italian, Spanish, German bits seep into France but not much of France goes the other way.

Must be why more of the world speaks English and Spanish than French!
 
The French are notoriously insecure about such things, but maybe not without reason. I do remember a documentary that claimed that around the borders of France the cultural blending is something of a one way trade; Italian, Spanish, German bits seep into France but not much of France goes the other way.

Must be why more of the world speaks English and Spanish than French!

This is a little unfair and part of what I call the 'massive empire effect' which causes former huge powers to bemoan their loss of status and the incoming cultures of immigrants without realising that the entire world has incorporated large amounts of their own culture and poltical systems. For example, if a country isn't running on a british parliamentary system, it's probably based on the french republic/Napoleonic code (unless they're Amercian or communist. Which is much the same thingo_O).

And of France's surrounding cojntries, GB is very french in its language sometimes, italy was built by france, spain is currently their female dog and germany is deliberately obtuse (but secretly quite french too in that they are large, want to be in charge and generally speaking do well when they get the chance to try).
 
Must be why more of the world speaks English and Spanish than French!
That and the global aesthetic disgust at the shear number of ridiculous lines and shapes the French insist on attaching to the alphabet.

And of France's surrounding cojntries, GB is very french in its language sometimes, italy was built by france, spain is currently their female dog and germany is deliberately obtuse (but secretly quite french too in that they are large, want to be in charge and generally speaking do well when they get the chance to try).
Ignore the power politics for once an look at the border regions is what I say to that. The best Alsace cuisine and wine is very obviously German based, in Nice they do interesting things with Ravioli and Pizza (in between salads) while over the border in Savona they also do interesting things with Ravioli and Pizza. On culture and food and things that most of the population actually deal with on a day to day basis, France is a net importer.

And a tendency to lose wars.
Which is a relief, because neither of them should be trusted to run their own country, let alone other peoples.

One more post to go and we get to the top of the next page, a location that has been known to call forth an update...
 
I volunteer as tribute!