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El Pip

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Juranec - sets low expectations and then fails to meet them! Not sure if Slovakian military critics should be poking fun at French generalship though. I’d make a cliched remark about stones and glass houses - but suspect Slovakia would only have the tech for the stone part, so the rest of the aphorism may be lost on them.
Juranec is, despite it all, one of the higher skill generals Slovakia has. And everyone should poke fun at French generals, they are arrogant enough as it is, imagine how bad they would be if people didn't keep poking fun at them!

Not to be nitpicky but "the Czechoslovakia men's national ice hockey team was one of the world's premiere teams for the duration of its existence." and "in the 1940s, they established themselves as the best team in Europe, becoming the first team from the continent to win two World Championships (1947 and 1949)."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Czechoslovakia_men's_national_ice_hockey_team

So I believe already in 1944 the Slovaks were quite into hockey :D.
I'm sure the Czechs were quite into ice hockey, the stadium would be in Prague and all the coaching staff and players would be Czechs. I imagine the Slovak players might have been allowed, if they were very good, to clean the boots of the Czech players while being punched in the face. Pre-WW2 Czechoslovakia was incredibly committed to being rigged against the Slovaks.

Hence T&T now hate ice hockey as the despised game of the Czech oppressors.
 

markkur

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Worried that Tuka would try to raise his eyebrow again, with terrible consequences, Kublea rushed to explain.
:)

"Juranec has started retreating again, he will let us know when he gets to his destination."
<LOL> Sounds like another mark on a future historical map of a long heroic-retreat?

That night - thunderstorm - tank-assault...surprise.:D I can hear the reply to any defiance; "They'll be caught off-guard!"
 

Athalcor

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I'm sure the Czechs were quite into ice hockey, the stadium would be in Prague and all the coaching staff and players would be Czechs. I imagine the Slovak players might have been allowed, if they were very good, to clean the boots of the Czech players while being punched in the face. Pre-WW2 Czechoslovakia was incredibly committed to being rigged against the Slovaks.

Hence T&T now hate ice hockey as the despised game of the Czech oppressors.

If you say so :D.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slovak_League_(ice_hockey)
 

Hightemplar

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nuclearslurpee

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Slovakia can't have ice hockey, for that that would have to invent ice skates, ice rinks, sticks etc. therefore no matter what Wikipedia says El Pip is right (that Wikipedia article is probably from an alternative fictional universe where Slovakia is not an important world power (crazy I know))

That really doesn't narrow down the possible universes at all, since even in this one Slovakia is the precise opposite of an important world power!
 

Hightemplar

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That really doesn't narrow down the possible universes at all, since even in this one Slovakia is the precise opposite of an important world power!

How dare you, the race to Bratislava is very real and all consuming. Also answer me this, if Slovakia is not a great power then why was there a coalition made up of the Russians, the Americans, the British and just to make it more difficult for themselves the French formed to defeat Slovakia
 

Davout

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People without Bayeux tapestries really should not throw stones at Frenchmen...
#MacronforPM
 

Hightemplar

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People without Bayeux tapestries really should not throw stones at Frenchmen...
#MacronforPM

For a start I didn't throw stones, I commented some words on a forum. As the saying goes words will never hurt you but stones will break your bones (and I wouldn't want to hurt anyone)

Secondly people who bomb Greenpeace vessels, and surrender to Hitler shouldn't object to criticism from New Zealanders

Thirdly don't use tapestries (basically a glorified tea towel) for historical references, use Google instead like a modern country

Lastly isn't Macron the President. Wouldn't that make him becoming PM a demotion? Also doesn't the president appoint the PM (in France anyway) could he appoint himself to the post? (without causing a constitutional crisis anyway) Finally in countries with proper systems of government the PM must be an MP (which Macron is not) I am not sure if this is true in France though
 

Davout

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For a start I didn't throw stones, I commented some words on a forum. As the saying goes words will never hurt you but stones will break your bones (and I wouldn't want to hurt anyone)

Secondly people who bomb Greenpeace vessels, and surrender to Hitler shouldn't object to criticism from New Zealanders

Thirdly don't use tapestries (basically a glorified tea towel) for historical references, use Google instead like a modern country

Lastly isn't Macron the President. Wouldn't that make him becoming PM a demotion? Also doesn't the president appoint the PM (in France anyway) could he appoint himself to the post? (without causing a constitutional crisis anyway) Finally in countries with proper systems of government the PM must be an MP (which Macron is not) I am not sure if this is true in France though

Don’t worry, Hightemplar. My comment was directed at those English who see fit to diss French generals.
 

El Pip

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<LOL> Sounds like another mark on a future historical map of a long heroic-retreat?

That night - thunderstorm - tank-assault...surprise.:D I can hear the reply to any defiance; "They'll be caught off-guard!"
Juranec does have a plan and it's not as terrible as it could be.

Slovakia can't have ice hockey, for that that would have to invent ice skates, ice rinks, sticks etc. therefore no matter what Wikipedia says El Pip is right (that Wikipedia article is probably from an alternative fictional universe where Slovakia is not an important world power (crazy I know))
I think we can safely say the Paradox Slovakia is very, very different from the actual Slovakia.

I imagine the ice hockey league has gone to the same place as the Slovak Air Force.

That really doesn't narrow down the possible universes at all, since even in this one Slovakia is the precise opposite of an important world power!
I would dispute that. Slovakia is far more important than several of the catastrophically pointless nations of Central America. That is a very low bar, but Slovakia does (just) clear it.

How dare you, the race to Bratislava is very real and all consuming. Also answer me this, if Slovakia is not a great power then why was there a coalition made up of the Russians, the Americans, the British and just to make it more difficult for themselves the French formed to defeat Slovakia
Truth. The Race to Bratislava is of indescribable importance.

People without Bayeux tapestries really should not throw stones at Frenchmen...
#MacronforPM
Everyone should throw stones at Frenchmen. Viking/Norwegians, now that is a different matter.

That said there is perhaps wisdom in you Hashtag. Given how crap your recent Prime Ministers have been, maybe Macron is a good choice for the next man to run Australia. If he can just make it to the end of his term without being stabbed in the back by his own party he'll do better than any local since Howard.

After seeing Slovakia's HOI tech I can't say I blame the Czechs *spits*
I blame the Czechs for Slovakia's terrible tech tree. As do T&T.

Well to be fair the French Generals weren't smart enough to have "insert deity of choice here" put a body of water between them and the rest of the continent. Major strategic error
If you are going to act like the French, you have to accept it will attract invasions from your neighbours. If you then fail to plan accordingly I have very little sympathy.
 

Nathan Madien

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Well to be fair the French Generals weren't smart enough to have "insert deity of choice here" put a body of water between them and the rest of the continent. Major strategic error

Even if they were smart enough to do that, the French Generals would still find a way to lose. It's what they do.
 
Last edited:

sebas379

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Next time Slovakia should blame the Canadians for their problems, right in their face. Itll cause them to fall into a loop of apologizing and laughing, rendering them combat ineffective!
 

El Pip

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Even if they were smart enough to do that, the French Generals would still find a way to lose. It's what they do.
Certainly it's what the Paradox flavour ones do. They are nothing if not committed to that stereotype.

Interested to read what that proves to be.:D
It is an excellent plan. Juranec is very pleased with it.

Next time Slovakia should blame the Canadians for their problems, right in their face. Itll cause them to fall into a loop of apologizing and laughing, rendering them combat ineffective!
A cunning plan, though could the Canadians even hear the Slovaks blaming them? Those Comet tanks are quite tough and I'm not sure the Slovaks could shout loudly enough, they haven't unlocked "The Power of Brian Blessed" on their tech tree yet.

And with that, we may well be returning, perhaps to Bratislava.
 
30th October 1944

El Pip

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30th October 1944

We return, not to Bratislava, but to another capital city. Instead we are in Paris where General Jurech is seeing how the 2nd (Brackets Slovak) Division will fit into the German defence plans alongside the famous 6th Panzer.

"Hitler has declared Festung Paris." General Lattmann pointed at the relevant telegram.

"That means Fortress Paris?" Jurech translated the German.

"No, it's an acronym for Fully Entrenched Strategic Target Unarguably Now German." Lattmann explained. "But, your fortress idea does sound good."

"We will be slotting in beside your tanks and supporting them." Jurech tried to drag the conversation back to the subject.

"No, you will be defending Paris. We will be leaving the city."

"You're running away to try and surrender. Again." Jurech glared accusingly.

"No! Honestly, you surrender once and suddenly everyone keeps accusing you of trying to surrender." Lattmann sighed. "Urban warfare is no place for tanks...."

"You learned that at Stalingrad." Jurech interrupted.

"Yes we did."

"So your going to surrender again, like you did there."

"No!" Lattmann screamed.

"Ahh, it's not surrender it's just running away. Like you did at Vernon." Jurech said.

Lattmann let lose a bestial roar, glared at Jurech and then stormed out to rejoin his tanks.

"They are definitely running away from the fight." Jurech explained to his staff.

"He's probably just scared of facing the Allies in those terrible Czech *spit* tanks." His Chief of Staff offered.

Jurech *spat* on the floor and nodded in agreement.


Shortly afterwards, in Bratislava.

"I bring news from the West!" General Kubela announced.

"It'd better not be more rubbish from South America." Tuka threatened.

"No, of course not." Kubela replied.

General Malar coughed shiftily while dropping some paper.

EQrIaBi.jpg

The Ecuadorian leadership continues to hold out in Fortress Quito. Despite being at war with the entire Allies, including most of South America, they are holding firm despite being utterly surrounded. The only reason this isn't a source of inspiration and hope to Slovakia is the fact they are so obviously doomed and this is only delaying the inevitable.

"So what is your news?" Tiso asked suspiciously.

"General Jurech has reached Paris and is digging in." Kubela announced.

"We have had confirmation from Berlin, the plan calls for 6th Panzer Division to leave Paris and use it's superior mobility to strike at the Allied supply lines." Malar explained the scheme.

Von Killinger asked the obvious question

"And what will the (2nd) (Brackets) Division be doing?"

"Hold any attack in place and hopefully dying in the process." Malar read from the plan.

"Ah, to die as part of a plan from the Fuhrer. They are lucky men. "Von Killinger sighed.

Kv2E0FF.jpg

Here we see the Mexican and Canadian forces primed to launch their encirclement of the Slovak division defending Paris. Not a sentence I expected to ever write.

--
Notes:
General Lattmann continues to have surrendered to the Soviets at Stalingrad in 1943, while leading the "Always Running Away" 6th Panzer. The 6th Panzer spent much of the war with pre-war Czech tanks, they probably had been equipped with proper ones by now, but old prejudices die hard. Particularly in Slovakia, a people who cannot complain about the quality of anyone else's tank until they at least develop internal combustion engines. Or the Wheel. Or Fire.

Jurech and his band of Infantry and Military Policeman chose to flee from Claremont and head to Paris, not the safest long term choice but one that should be good for the narrative I hope.
 

Bullfilter

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Ah, Tiso & Tuka, I have missed them! Not a sentence I had ever expected to write, either. ;)

Even the Allied Shermans etc will have no problems with those old Czech *spit* tanks, which were already past their best in 1940.

And the news from the front, while of course grim, didn’t even force them to resort to the hip flasks! Or perhaps their already low benchmark for what constitutes ‘not-bad news’ is now as low as Slovakian tech levels. :D
 

SgtGranite

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Surt

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At least the Slovak division is nearly as strong as the 266. Static divisions with trucks ... and knowing that the 6th will hold open the retreat route will be a great comfort to the Slovak troops!