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23rd October 1944
23rd October 1944

The Slovak War Cabinet has been assembled. With the return of the prodigal hero (and part time Minister for the Navy) General Turanec to Bratislava the cabinet is at full strength for the first time since the Slovak National Uprising. This is not expected to make any significant difference to anything, but at least they are making the effort

"General Turanec, what is the Central Adriatic Naval Command?" Tiso asked the question on everybody's lips.

"It is the central administrative division of the Coastal and Maritime Traffic Command." Turanec lived up to the Slovak General Staff's grand tradition of literal question answering.

Tiso sighed. Tuka took a more direct approach.

"And what the hell is that!?!" He yelled.

"The Navy of the Independent State of Croatia." Turanec answered.

"Does Croatia even have a navy?" Tiso rejoined the conversation.

"Technically yes. It even had some ships, though most of the ships were second hand or worse."

NsniaYX.jpg

The Croatian cruiser Znaim floating around the Adriatic in happier times. Originally the SMS Niobe in the Imperial German High Seas Fleet, she became the plain Niobe in the republican Reichsmarine before being sold to the Royal Yugoslav Navy, where she became the Dalmacija (Dalmatia). Many years later, after the Axis invasion of Yugoslavia she was captured by the Italians who renamed her the Cattaro, when the Italians surrendered she was transferred by the Germans to the Croatians who named her Znaim. However, once the unreliable nature of the Croatian crew became apparent, she was seized and returned to German service as the Kriegsmarine cruiser Niobe. After this career she was justly named the Bike of the Adriatic, as everyone had enjoyed a ride at some point. Shortly after returning to German service she crashed into some well charted rocks, perhaps out of shame, and was then permanently sunk by a pair of Royal Navy Motor Torpedo Boats.

"So Makarska is a major headquarters of the Croatian Navy?" Tiso tried to drag the conversation back to the point.

"Possibly. Their navy is entirely sunk now, so they may have scrapped the headquarters as pointless." Turanec volunteered.

"Can you think of any reason the British would invade there, rather than an actual harbour like Split?" Tuka asked.

"Because it's the last thing the enemy would expect them to do?" Turanec guessed.


Meanwhile, in Rome, the Allied High Command has just got news of the progress of Plan C

"It appears everything is going well according to young Gubbins." Montgomery read from the telegram.

"You should know the names of your subordinates." Eisenhower chided Monty.

"I do. That's his name, General Gubbins." Monty patiently explained.

"Isn't he the head of your Special Operations Executive?" Bradly asked.

"He was. But he was so disappointed by the failure of the French Resistance to do anything to help D-Day, he asked for transfer to a proper unit." Monty explained the sudden career change.

"So we gave him the Chindits and let him loose in the Balkans." Alanbrooke finished.

"You sent the Chindits, jungle trained special forces, into the Yugoslav mountains, under the command of an intelligence officer?!" Eisenhower visibly staggered.

"Of course. Are you all right old chap?" Alanbrooke asked in concern as Eisenhower turned a range of odd colours.

"But that's madness!"

Alanbrooke gestured at the map.

IMoe7FB.jpg

The Chindits are making a surprisingly good job of the second Yugoslav Invasion, considering they are troops trained to fight behind the lines against Japan, being led by the British Army's premier expert on guerilla and partisan warfare. The USMC 3rd "Generic Nickname Here" Marine Division has turned up in the follow up second wave. Because leading an amphibious invasion with a Marine division would have been silly.

"They've broken out of the beachhead, got the second wave ashore and pushed back the local defending forces. I'm not sure what more progress you expect them to make in 24 hours." He queried.

"Maybe if you had a bit more of that sort of "madness" you might have got to Paris or the low countries by now." Alexander offered.

--
Notes:
The 2nd Yugoslav Invasion is going surprisingly well given the choice of unit. And Commander. And the decision to hit the province next door to the one the 1st Invasion landed in. And the fact the Marines only turned up after the initial landing.

For those who are unaware, the Chindits were a special forces units raised in Burma in 1942. Their alternate name was the Long Range Penetration Group, so in many ways they were a more jungle based version of the Long Range Desert Group of North African fame. While hard as nails and masters of jungle warfare, they never left Burma and definitely were not regular line infantry. Could be worse though, the British AI has sent the other Chindits unit to guard Bermuda...

The much travelled Niobe is all true, it has very little bearing on anything I just found out about it while researching Makarska in case there were any interesting/funny facts about it. Instead I found out about the Independent Croatian Navy and their short lived flagship, at which point I had to include it.

General Gubbins did indeed mastermind SOE, he also directly ran the France operation in the run up to D-Day and organised the resistance activities that coincided with the attack. Post-war he went on to run a carpet company while being a member of that conspiracy theorist favourite the Bilderberg Group, so a man of contradictions.
 
"Can you think of any reason the British would invade there, rather than an actual harbour like Split?" Tuka asked.

"Because it's the last thing the enemy would expect them to do?" Turanec guessed.

Meanwhile, in Rome, the Allied High Command has just got news of the progress of Plan C

"It appears everything is going well according to young Gubbins." Montgomery read from the telegram.

"You should know the names of your subordinates." Eisenhower chided Monty.

"I do. That's his name, General Gubbins." Monty patiently explained.
I like to think that Gubbins is accompanied in this adventure by a twitchy and somewhat silly Adjutant named Captain Darling. ;)

I also liked the little side note on the Niobe. Its history and sad (probably incompetent) demise makes it sound like the kind of ship the Slovak Navy would have had were it anywhere near the sea! It would have made a fitting Pride of the Slovakian Fleet! A pity they never got to ride that bike. :rolleyes:
 
The Croatian cruiser Znaim floating around the Adriatic in happier times. Originally the SMS Niobe in the Imperial German High Seas Fleet, she became the plain Niobe in the republican Reichsmarine before being sold to the Royal Yugoslav Navy, where she became the Dalmacija (Dalmatia). Many years later, after the Axis invasion of Yugoslavia she was captured by the Italians who renamed her the Cattaro, when the Italians surrendered she was transferred by the Germans to the Croatians who named her Znaim. However, once the unreliable nature of the Croatian crew became apparent, she was seized and returned to German service as the Kriegsmarine cruiser Niobe. After this career she was justly named the Bike of the Adriatic, as everyone had enjoyed a ride at some point. Shortly after returning to German service she crashed into some well charted rocks, perhaps out of shame, and was then permanently sunk by a pair of Royal Navy Motor Torpedo Boats.

Ah yes, this sort of thing happened a lot in naval warfare when a ship was particularly valuable or useful. They switched hands all the time and often ended up getting sunk by their original owners (this happened so many times to French and Spanish ships, and would have happened to the HMS Royal Charles too had the Dutch not found it too big and water drawing to be useful in their fleet). Not sure why so many powers would bother with capturing and retaining ships such as the Niobe, as seamen are notoriously suspicious and this ship was clearly bad luck.

Also, it reminded me of the Mumbo Jumbo from Yes Minister.
 
"You sent the Chindits, jungle trained special forces, into the Yugoslav mountains, under the command of an intelligence officer?!" Eisenhower visibly staggered.
That strategy suggests a different definition for high-command.:)

No port? No supply-lines? Expect tanks next.<L>
 
I like to think that Gubbins is accompanied in this adventure by a twitchy and somewhat silly Adjutant named Captain Darling. ;)
That is a marvellous image. And I think a diary entry simply saying "Bugger" would go a long way towards summing up the Yugoslav Invasion plan.

I also liked the little side note on the Niobe. Its history and sad (probably incompetent) demise makes it sound like the kind of ship the Slovak Navy would have had were it anywhere near the sea! It would have made a fitting Pride of the Slovakian Fleet! A pity they never got to ride that bike. :rolleyes:
The story of the Niobe is the kind of utterly irrelevant detour that are the true hallmarks of an El Pip AAR. And yes it would have been an excellent addition to the Slovak Fleet, if only they had a navy. Or a port. Or a coastline.

Ah yes, this sort of thing happened a lot in naval warfare when a ship was particularly valuable or useful. They switched hands all the time and often ended up getting sunk by their original owners (this happened so many times to French and Spanish ships, and would have happened to the HMS Royal Charles too had the Dutch not found it too big and water drawing to be useful in their fleet). Not sure why so many powers would bother with capturing and retaining ships such as the Niobe, as seamen are notoriously suspicious and this ship was clearly bad luck.

Also, it reminded me of the Mumbo Jumbo from Yes Minister.
I did try to check and I think the Niobe does hold the record for the military vessel with the most owners, commercial ships change owner at the drop of a hat and can easily get into the dozens for a long lived vessels.

From a seaman's perspective she was only bad luck for the nation that owned her, best I can tell she was a fairly lucky ship (until the running aground, being sunk bit). She was subject to at least two torpedo attacks but was never hit and seems to have dodged being bombed several times as well, despite being serving as AA defence of many harbours.

That strategy suggests a different definition for high-command.:)
No port? No supply-lines? Expect tanks next.<L>
The worst thing is they are all stone cold sober. :eek:

Let's see if they remember to capture the port
That is just what the Germans would expect them to do, so therefore they must try to do something else.
 
I do hereby propose a motion that the British high command bring General Melchett VC DSO out of retirement to lead the attack on the Balkans. It would be an excellent way to finally get his drinks cabinet closer to Berlin, by first moving away to the Balkans (the vile Hun will never see it coming)

In other news congratulations to Australia on winning the Ashes 'suppresses vomit', and a big thank you to England who decided that Canterburys super smash campaign was more important than their Ashes campaign (we appreciate the loan of Ben Stokes) for the uncultured (presumably American) readers I am of course talking about cricket

Also donate to the T and T relief fund today help Solvakia pay off the debts incurred buying alcohol in these dark times

Also what is the glorious New Zealand army (all two of them) up to in this scenario. New Zealand's army is comparable to Slovakia's if it were well led and our navy is bigger by 2 ships
 
I do hereby propose a motion that the British high command bring General Melchett VC DSO out of retirement to lead the attack on the Balkans. It would be an excellent way to finally get his drinks cabinet closer to Berlin, by first moving away to the Balkans (the vile Hun will never see it coming)
If the Yugoslav invasion does actually turn out to be a cunning plan the entire thread is going to have to apologise to the British Army. And then write out on the blackboard "Blackadder is not historically correct, if just repeats lies and junk history" a thousand times. ;)

Also what is the glorious New Zealand army (all two of them) up to in this scenario. New Zealand's army is comparable to Slovakia's if it were well led and our navy is bigger by 2 ships
The 'military districts' and the entire RNZAF and RNZN (1xTAC and 1xTransport Flotilla) are happily sitting at home.

However the 2nd New Zealand Expeditionary Force is somewhere around Milan, leading the charge for the French Alps. This is to be expected as 4th NZ Armoured brigade, instead of it's OTL Shermans, is equipped with the Comet tank and so can chew up and spit out any tank in the world with ease.
 
If the Yugoslav invasion does actually turn out to be a cunning plan the entire thread is going to have to apologise to the British Army. And then write out on the blackboard "Blackadder is not historically correct, if just repeats lies and junk history" a thousand times. ;)
Thank god we have the entirely historically accurate Tiso and Tuka and Slovakia a la the 1944 HOI3 scenario to save us from such egregious junk history! And from Czech traitors. *Spits on ground. Twice.*
 
Where on earth did New Zealand get tactical bombers from? (the swedes i assume). On the Blackadder thing why not bring the Bear of Brussels out of retirement. With him in command there will be a carpet of boddies all the way to Braslavia. Then the ministers won't need to get their feet dirty when they go to sign the surrender. Even if the boddies are removed (or rot) there will still be a pre-made red carpet for them to use.
 
Just chiming in to let you know the forum has decided again to ignore this aar updating and i only just found the time to check myself. (Aka i totally forgot about hoi3 in general)

What if we took these ships, sailed them up the Po valley and used them as floating batteries against the approaching allies. Put some leafs over them so the airforce cant see them (ask the Dutch at Java how to do that) and nobody will find them.

I do find the recent lack of news from the east disturbing. Have all the russians gone home? Yes that must be it. Hurray
 
Thank god we have the entirely historically accurate Tiso and Tuka and Slovakia a la the 1944 HOI3 scenario to save us from such egregious junk history! And from Czech traitors. *Spits on ground. Twice.*
Czech traitor spitting, not seen that in a while. It is good to see standards being kept up. :D

Where on earth did New Zealand get tactical bombers from? (the swedes i assume). On the Blackadder thing why not bring the Bear of Brussels out of retirement. With him in command there will be a carpet of boddies all the way to Braslavia. Then the ministers won't need to get their feet dirty when they go to sign the surrender. Even if the boddies are removed (or rot) there will still be a pre-made red carpet for them to use.
Paradox did decide to give New Zealand a TAC wing, so take it up with them.

I looked up Bear of Brussels and the first few results Google gave me appeared to be about a gay pride festival in Brussels. Struggling to see the Blackadder link there, or how it would help T&T, but some mysteries are best left mysterious.

Just chiming in to let you know the forum has decided again to ignore this aar updating and i only just found the time to check myself. (Aka i totally forgot about hoi3 in general)
The forum notification system is relentlessly terrible, so congratulations on returning despite it's best efforts.

What if we took these ships, sailed them up the Po valley and used them as floating batteries against the approaching allies. Put some leafs over them so the airforce cant see them (ask the Dutch at Java how to do that) and nobody will find them.
A cunning scheme, alas North Italy has long since fallen so any trip up the Po would be a doomed death ride. If they could sneak through the Eastern Med to the Black Sea and sail up the Danube, that would be much more useful. Alas I think that could be tricky and the Royal Navy would probably notice.

I do find the recent lack of news from the east disturbing. Have all the russians gone home? Yes that must be it. Hurray
You have timed your return well, for we are about to return to Bratislava and receive some news from the East.
 
25th October 1944
25th October 1944

Supreme Vodca Tiso had considered keeping the hero General Turanec in Bratislava, but there was a distinct shortage of Slovak generals who weren't dead, traitors, Czech or useless. So, with a heavy heart, Tiso had sent Turanec back to the Eastern Front and was forced to rely on a cabinet that had no Minister for the Navy in it, however he was confident they could work around this crippling limitation. We join them as a messenger is bringing in an urgent message.

"Vodca, I bring news from the Eastern Front!" The messenger announced. Urgently.

Tiso nodded at General Kubela who picked up the message.

"General Turanec has been ambushed!" He gasped, pointing at the map.

P3v9ZIY.jpg

The 1st (Eastern) Slovakian Division has been attacked in Râmnicu Vâlcea! Also note quite how badly mauled the 2nd (Military Police On Patrol) Division is.

"How did Turanec allow himself to be ambushed?" Tuka asked in shock.

"He assumed the Soviets would prioritise attacking the corridor leading to the Bucharest ocket. Instead they have made a massive push towards Râmnicu Vâlcea." General Malar explained.

"The local defenders were overwhelmed and our division marched into the front lines." Kubela finished.

"Why would the Soviets do that?" Tiso asked.

"Is the town very important?" Tuka pursued the line of questioning.

"Well Râmnicu Vâlcea was home of the first paper mill and printing press to be built in Romania." Fritz read from the Rotund Report of Renowned Romanian Records.

"A fine and modern plant, I hope one day we can assemble a similarly advanced facility in Slovakia." Industry Minister Pruzinksy joined the conversation. "Do you think Turanec could try to bring back some details?"

"The plant was built in 1690." Fritz continued reading.

"Really?" Pruzinsky adjusted his monocle. "Such a new fangled manufactory would be quite a challenge for even our best artisans to understand, I doubt there is any value in asking soldiers to probe it's mysteries."

Deciding that there was more than one mystery that shouldn't be probed, Tiso dragged the meeting back to the topic at hand.

"Does Turanec have a chance of beating back this ambush?" He asked the General Staff.

"Well on the plus side the Soviet attack is utterly leaderless." Kubela offered.

"And on the downside?" Tuka was very familiar with how these things worked.

"The enemy do have two full tank divisions and outnumber him 5 to 1." Kubela grudgingly answered.

4MfRh83.jpg

Due to their miserable failure to instantly annihilate the inferior Slovakians, Stalin had all five divisional commanders purged. Some people complained this was a counter-productive over-reaction. No-one ever saw those people, or any of their families, ever again.

"So he's going to lose?" Tiso summarised the briefing.

"He probably already has." Kubela confessed. "The message just hasn't reached us yet."

There was a brief knock and then a messenger burst in.

Tiso didn't wait for it to be read out, instead he just reached for his hipflask.

BhAMSPt.jpg

General Turanec managed to hold out for almost 10 hours. Coincidentally he also suffered almost 10 times as many casualties as the attacking Soviets and Tiso got through 10 gulps of his hipflask before the Slovak General Staff confirmed the news.

--
Notes:
The 3rd Ukrainian Front continues it's invasion of Eastern Europe and the Slovak's get caught by the juggernaut. The plan to charge to the rescue of Bucharest has taken a hit, but luckily the Soviets don't seem that fussed by actually trying to attack Bucharest, so there is still a chance Turance could get there in time to be trapped, pocketed and destroyed. Because that is the best Slovakia can really hope for - dying in a mildly interesting way having slightly delayed the inevitable.

All Râmnicu Vâlcea facts are, of course, entirely true (if one believes the internet). Modern day Râmnicu Vâlcea is now home to the polluted ruins of a bankrupt Soviet-era PVC factory and is a global hub of cybercrime. It would have been better if they'd stuck to paper and printing to be honest.
 
Some ‘exciting’ battlefield action there. If getting thrashed by a headless Soviet beast can be described as such. Interesting facts on the Romanian town being fought over: the bounty of Soviet-style modernisation is about to arrive - oh joy.

Probably for the best the printing press advance is left aside: other than the Vodca’s edicts and screeds of social realist poetry, there isn’t much for Slovakia to print (except maybe for money), and none of it worth anything.
 
I'm with Pruzinsky on this one, a 1690 printing presses does sound like a hopeless task for Slovakia to replicate and not just for its complexity. Where will they get all the metal for it.
Maybe some German armour can be attracted to withdraw through Slovakia with Soviet tanks chasing them. If they would disable some of one another in Slovakia's fields they would likely not even realise it and Slovakia could afterwards scavenge the battlefield to replenish her metal stockpiles! The country also has no shortage of metal bands if this rather comprehensive list is to be believed. I haven't checked them all out, maybe theres some actual metal for your factories in there!

https://www.metal-archives.com/lists/SK
 
Some ‘exciting’ battlefield action there. If getting thrashed by a headless Soviet beast can be described as such. Interesting facts on the Romanian town being fought over: the bounty of Soviet-style modernisation is about to arrive - oh joy.

Probably for the best the printing press advance is left aside: other than the Vodca’s edicts and screeds of social realist poetry, there isn’t much for Slovakia to print (except maybe for money), and none of it worth anything.
Life just gets better and better for Romania. At least Slovakia has the slim hope of being invaded and annexed by the Allies.

As for printing, well there is always the option to re-print Prince of Terror Tido Gaspar's epic book "Sailors". It won a Czechoslovak literary award in 1933 and given that the Czechoslovak state treated Slovaks as 2nd class citizens (or worse) it would have to be pretty damned good. I must confess I have a vague desire to read that book, probably because I've spent too long researching obscure Slovak facts.

I'm with Pruzinsky on this one, a 1690 printing presses does sound like a hopeless task for Slovakia to replicate and not just for its complexity. Where will they get all the metal for it.
Maybe some German armour can be attracted to withdraw through Slovakia with Soviet tanks chasing them. If they would disable some of one another in Slovakia's fields they would likely not even realise it and Slovakia could afterwards scavenge the battlefield to replenish her metal stockpiles! The country also has no shortage of metal bands if this rather comprehensive list is to be believed. I haven't checked them all out, maybe theres some actual metal for your factories in there!

https://www.metal-archives.com/lists/SK
As it was three and a half years ago I can forgive you for forgetting, but Slovakia has loads of metal. They are running out of almost everything else, but they will be well metalled until the very end.

And that is an amazing link, some great bands and genres; "Kling - Atmospheric Symphonic Death Metal", "Revenge Division -Melodic Groove Metal". There are quite a few in there that would serve as the ideal creators of the Slovak National Anthem.

I consider holding out for 10 hours a moral victory even though the other side didn't have a general
Slovakia is all about the moral victories, despite the government conspicuously lacking any morals.
 
General Turanec managed to hold out for almost 10 hours. Coincidentally he also suffered almost 10 times as many casualties as the attacking Soviets and Tiso got through 10 gulps of his hipflask before the Slovak General Staff confirmed the news.
Some analysis work revealed:

If those flasks are shiny-metal? They just 10-glinted to the Soviets and prompted a flasking-attack.:)

Too bad you guys were not handed Armour. But then I suppose Fuel would be the issue...if you drove at home.
 
The Bear if Brussels is clearly our esteemed Blackaderian General (who's name I can't spell)

How does Slovakia have a book on Romania that goes in to such detail (I didn't know that Slovakia had the written word let alone the printing press) I am assuming that it was a gift from a Romanian diplomat hoping to win favour (he was burned as a witch, should have given a hip flask (full) instead*)

Also in Ashes news, shame on you Australia for allowing someone who has averaged 13 so far this series get 244*. Also thank you England for preventing a whitewash (the last time it happened we could hear the gloating from here)

Anyway happy new year (we have it first in NZ) spoiler alert 2018, way better than last year you guys are really missing out (unless you are reading this after 2017, in that case... Crap)

*subject to El Pip confirmation
*means not out in cricket