Inevitable Defeat - Slovakia '44

[El Pip]

Action, screenshots, victory, defeat, running away, doppelgängers ... it had it all!

Not that I’m am apologist for Paradox historical inaccuracies, but ... it would be amazing and amusing if Algrea was indeed both: fought for the Republicans as well as the Mexicans (before or after). We may never know .

It was an action packed thriller of an update, though I'm sure @Athalcor would have preferred it if I had split that day into multiple parts.

I like the idea of Algrea having a long and varied career, taking his hard won experience from Spain to help improve the Mexican army. In the absence of any actual facts I shall believe it is true, as it would be nice if it was.

It's been a bad year for me, personally, and I'm not saying that captions like this are the only thing keeping me going, but it's for damn sure they're keeping me going.

Obviously I hope your year picks up before the end and that next year is better. I'm also glad someone else likes that sort of caption, they are one of my favourite bits to write and if they help brighten someone else's day it was all worthwhile.

I would celebrate such a day...Today.

Great update!

Every day without bad news is worth celebrating, glad you liked the update and that you also appreciate the amazingly named Mexican Air Force squadron.

 

[Athalcor]

It was an action packed thriller of an update, though I'm sure @Athalcor would have preferred it if I had split that day into multiple parts.

After such a packed update, I expect you to take at least a year of break !

 

[Andre Massena]

Romanians loved French culture so much that they decided to send their own men to defend France against the perfidious Anglo-Mexican invasion

 

[El Pip]

After such a packed update, I expect you to take at least a year of break !

Tempting... At the risk of making a rash promise I have hopes to get to November 1944 before the end of the year. It will be an acceleration of the pace, and may not be possible, but I think it's a goal worth shooting for.

Romanians loved French culture so much that they decided to send their own men to defend France against the perfidious Anglo-Mexican invasion

It is as plausible a reason as any, would France really be better off run by the Anglo-Mexicans than occupied by Germany? (I hope we can all agree a France run by the French is the worst of all combinations).

 

[H.Appleby]

It is as plausible a reason as any, would France really be better off run by the Anglo-Mexicans than occupied by Germany? (I hope we can all agree a France run by the French is the worst of all combinations).

Being governed by the French is exactly what the French deserve. To the extent that being Gallic is not punishment enough.

 

[Bullfilter]

Tempting... At the risk of making a rash promise I have hopes to get to November 1944 before the end of the year. It will be an acceleration of the pace, and may not be possible, but I think it's a goal worth shooting for.

For those who can remember it ... if you find things have rushed forward too quickly for a Slower-than-real-Time Lord such as yourself, you could take a leaf out of the old Dallas TV series playbook and just lose a whole season and take it back to whenever you feel like restarting. Just say all the commentary since was the alcohol-induced and comatose dream of Tiso’s fevered imagination

 

[Davout]

Being governed by the French is exactly what the French deserve. To the extent that being Gallic is not punishment enough.

Of course, the French ruled England for some time and we all know how that ended up...

Also, looking forward to the 2nd Test in Adelaide. Not sure how you work cricket into a WW2 Slovakian AAR but I have faith in your powers of obscurity, Pip.

 

[H.Appleby]

Of course, the French ruled England for some time and we all know how that ended up...

Oh those were just Danes in unconvincing disguises, don't give the Frogs more credit than they're due.

 

[El Pip]

Being governed by the French is exactly what the French deserve. To the extent that being Gallic is not punishment enough.

That is a seductive argument. But I worry that letting the French run any country, even their own, generally tends to end badly for them and all those nearby.

For those who can remember it ... if you find things have rushed forward too quickly for a Slower-than-real-Time Lord such as yourself, you could take a leaf out of the old Dallas TV series playbook and just lose a whole season and take it back to whenever you feel like restarting. Just say all the commentary since was the alcohol-induced and comatose dream of Tiso’s fevered imagination

The Dallas Option.... It's an extreme solution and I hope things never get that desperate. I imagine it being behind some glass and marked for emergencies only.

Also, looking forward to the 2nd Test in Adelaide. Not sure how you work cricket into a WW2 Slovakian AAR but I have faith in your powers of obscurity, Pip.

I am somewhat looking forward to the 2nd Test, if the England team remember how to play then it could go well, but they are more than capable of doing a complete T&T and cocking up spectacularly, so I don't want to get my hopes up.

Sadly the internet tells me that Slovakia had no history of cricket till some time in the early 2000s, when a lone hero returned from working in England with a love of the game and decided to single handedly start the sport in his home country. I suppose if the 8th Army win the race to Bratislava we could see a Dominion tank division playing cricket in the rubble?

Oh those were just Danes in unconvincing disguises, don't give the Frogs more credit than they're due.

Very true.

 

[Bullfilter]

I too am looking forward to the Second Test, though perhaps from a slightly different national perspective...

Still, the way things have been going, perhaps some alcohol-fuelled ‘mental disintegration’ could be an option for T&T: they certainly seem to have a well-developed research base to support it (even if it is self-inflicted rather than a weapon to be used on the enemy) .

With the Russians, it would simply take too much fuel per capita to reach the required threshold! Though with the Poms ...

 

[Nathan Madien]

The Dallas Option.... It's an extreme solution and I hope things never get that desperate. I imagine it being behind some glass and marked for emergencies only.

I think it sits right next to the St. Elsewhere Option, where this entire AAR is dreamed up by a little kid staring at a snow globe.

"It seems to offer excellent opportunities for troops to more effectively die for the Fuhrer." von Killinger nodded approvingly.

Then General Summermann can command a division of actual zombie soldiers! Brillant idea, von Killinger!

 

[El Pip]

With the Russians, it would simply take too much fuel per capita to reach the required threshold! Though with the Poms ...

Dangerous ground for an Ozzie. You lot still hold the world record for most humiliatingly massive test cricket defeat, in 1938 you managed to lose to England by an innings and 579 runs. If you want truly world class mental disintegration and shameful collapse, turn to Australia.

I think it sits right next to the St. Elsewhere Option, where this entire AAR is dreamed up by a little kid staring at a snow globe.

I've never seen St Elsewhere. The more I hear about it, the wiser a decision it seems.

 

[Bullfilter]

Dangerous ground for an Ozzie. You lot still hold the world record for most humiliatingly massive test cricket defeat, in 1938 you managed to lose to England by an innings and 579 runs. If you want truly world class mental disintegration and shameful collapse, turn to Australia.

Heh! I'm sure those mental scars from 1938 are still fresh in the minds of our current team . Perhaps still fresh in 1944 Bratislava .

I think we can let the bat and ball do the talking in Perth this week: we'll see who emerges from that with the most current bragging rights. I'll very meekly eat a large serving of humble pie if England emerge victorious.

 

[El Pip]

22nd October 1944

We return, but not to Bratislava. Instead we are in Rome where the finest generals in the Allied armies, and Patton, are gathered to discuss the progress of their fronts and the wider war effort in Europe.

"The French have confirmed all the troops involved in Opération Suicide des Balkans have surrendered." Montgomery announced to the room.

"There goes your Plan B." Patton looked smug.

Alanbrooke looked up, sighed, and gestured languidly at the map. "I think you will find it worked perfectly. It distracted the Axis forces in North Italy, allowing the 8th Army to smash through the Gothic Line and clear out Italy."

"Whereas I believe your forces are still messing around in Normandy." Alexander pointedly looked at Patton

"We're going to break out any day now!" Patton raged, storming out of the room to look for a random enlisted man to slap about.

Eisenhower tried to move the discussion on. "You may have cleared out Italy, but you've now hit the French and Austrian Alps. How are you going to get past them?"

Alanbrooke nodded at Montgomery, who gestured at the map. "Plan C."


On that enigmatic note we return to Bratislava, where a cabinet meeting is about to be dramatically interrupted.

"Vodca! I bring news!" A messenger burst in, dramatically interrupting a meeting of the Slovak cabinet.

Tiso looked up expectantly.

"The Allies have launched an amphibious assault on Central Adriatic Naval Command!"

"What are the implications of this?" Tiso asked.

There was a silence.

Tuka started to look angry, so Chief of Staff Kubela spoke up "That would be a naval matter."

"And?"

"Well General Turanec is busy on the Eastern Front, so we've no Minister for Navy to answer the question." Kubela explained.

"It was a risk we took when we appointed a part time Navy Minister." Tuka was forced to agree.

"We can show you where it is on a map." Malar volunteered.

This seems strangely familiar.​

Meanwhile, in Rome.

"So your Plan C is just doing Plan B again?" Eisenhower asked incredulously.

"Of course not!" Montgomery bristled. "It's Plan B but harder and with all the useless bits removed."

"Useless bits?" Bradley queried.

"We're using proper troops now and not the French." Alexander explained.

"But won't the Axis be prepared for this attack by now?" Eisenhower still looked visibly shocked.

"On the contrary, it's the last thing they will be expecting." Montgomery beamed.

--
Notes:
The British AI, never knowingly making sense, did launch this attack. If you were being generous you would say they were very delayed reinforcements for the first aborted Yugoslav invasion, but I think we all know the truth here.

 

[TheButterflyComposer]

We return, but not to Bratislava. Instead we are in Rome where the finest generals in the Allied armies, and Patton, are gathered to discuss the progress of their fronts and the wider war effort in Europe.

Huh, I guess Montgomery is outside. Trying not to be captured or something...
It's funny how one group of people on the forum would view the sentence as a justified damnation of Patton and his methods, whilst another group would nod at the snarky undertones of 'finest generals' and agree that Patton deserves to be singled out as at least better than them.

The French have confirmed all the troops involved in Opération Suicide des Balkans have surrendered." Montgomery announced to the room.

Oh, there he is! I guess they just demoted him to power point presenter, realising that perhaps his best talent was looking good in photographs pointing at things.
And the French plan seems to be, going off the title, a plan to get the Balkans to collectively commit suicide. Which they might well do if....well, especially by this point in the war. All their leaders anyway.

"We're going to break out any day now!" Patton raged, storming out of the room to look for a random enlisted man to slap about.

Sheesh, you hit a man once and you're never going to hear the end of it. Or, maybe you get a much better job doing exactly what you were doing before with less restrictions and more money.
Justice is served!

"On the contrary, it's the last thing they will be expecting." Montgomery beamed.

Just to underline how WWI these finest generals are getting here. Still, it could be worse.
They could be Slovakian.

 

[Bullfilter]

We return, but not to Bratislava. Instead we are in Rome where the finest generals in the Allied armies, and Patton, are gathered to discuss the progress of their fronts and the wider war effort in Europe.

Oh, an excursion away from Bratislava! What a treat!

Patton raged, storming out of the room to look for a random enlisted man to slap about.

Only some Craven - oh, that’s CK2, sorry

"Vodca! I bring news!" A messenger burst in, dramatically interrupting a meeting of the Slovak cabinet.

I suspect Tiso would have been happier if the messenger had announced “News! I bring vodka!”

"So your Plan C is just doing Plan B again?" Eisenhower asked incredulously....

"But won't the Axis be prepared for this attack by now?" Eisenhower still looked visibly shocked.

"On the contrary, it's the last thing they will be expecting." Montgomery beamed.

Is that Montgomery or General Melchett? I see in my mind’s eye a Blackadder IV scene, with Montgomery saying “yes, but the Hun will not be expecting us to do exactly the same thing that we have tried and has failed for the last 16 times, so we will achieve total surprise”.

He hopes to move his drinks cabinet 18 inches closer to Bratislava as a result. Thus tempting T&T to raid it personally, allowing them to be captured, removing the Slovakian juggernaut from the war.

 

[markkur]

"We can show you where it is on a map." Malar volunteered.

<LOL>

 

[Athalcor]

Is there like an AI setting you are using? Like "comedy" or sth?

 

[El Pip]

Huh, I guess Montgomery is outside. Trying not to be captured or something...
It's funny how one group of people on the forum would view the sentence as a justified damnation of Patton and his methods, whilst another group would nod at the snarky undertones of 'finest generals' and agree that Patton deserves to be singled out as at least better than them.

The difference is that the second group are wrong.

And the French plan seems to be, going off the title, a plan to get the Balkans to collectively commit suicide. Which they might well do if....well, especially by this point in the war. All their leaders anyway.

The French Foreign Legion invading Yugoslavia and then doing nothing was codenamed Operation Balkan Suicide, as that was what the Legion was effectively doing. With this ability to understand plans it is no wonder you have such incorrect views on Monty ( )

Sheesh, you hit a man once and you're never going to hear the end of it.

Patton hit several men, in different hospitals, over the course of a week and then publicly declared they should all be shot in case the US 'ends up breeding morons'. As I said, those who defend him are wrong to do so.

Is that Montgomery or General Melchett? I see in my mind’s eye a Blackadder IV scene, with Montgomery saying “yes, but the Hun will not be expecting us to do exactly the same thing that we have tried and has failed for the last 16 times, so we will achieve total surprise”.

He hopes to move his drinks cabinet 18 inches closer to Bratislava as a result. Thus tempting T&T to raid it personally, allowing them to be captured, removing the Slovakian juggernaut from the war.

Those who judge history by Blackadder are doomed to get it wrong. This isn't the exact same thing, it's the same thing but done without the French. It is therefore about 1048% more likely to succeed for that reason alone.

Is there like an AI setting you are using? Like "comedy" or sth?

Not deliberately, but I think the '44 Scenario AI files are just fundamentally broken. Things get much stranger than repeated invasions of Yugoslavia, as we will see.. probably sometime in January to be honest.

 

[TheButterflyComposer]

The French Foreign Legion invading Yugoslavia and then doing nothing was codenamed Operation Balkan Suicide, as that was what the Legion was effectively doing. With this ability to understand plans it is no wonder you have such incorrect views on Monty ( )

Yes but if they named the plan, in French, 'Operation Balkan Suicide', the language used means that they were referring to the Balkans as a region committing suicide literally, not that it was a suicidal plan in the Balkans. Mind you, since it was a foreign legion job with British intelligence and French political oversight, it's entirely possible there was a translation error at some point and the original intent of a mass invasion that would render the Balkans confusing the war suicidal to them turned into let's deliberately sacrifice our own side for no reason.

I don't actually know that much about the actual war, because it isn't taught at any school level and it's outside my main interests. British schools are much, much more concerned with the rise of extremist movements in Germany and the history of the Nazis from about 1925-1939. So most of my knowledge is much more pop history than I would like (and many expect), with some more detailed knowledge about the machinery used, the economic and political background and some first hand accounts from relatives about their parents and grandparents (but even that's limited. All of my grandparents were born during the war or after so those sorts of family stories are about the sixties and seventies onwards). I expect soon that the world wars will be about as popularly well known in this country as the Civil War and Restoration are (very vaugely if at all).

Patton hit several men, in different hospitals, over the course of a week and then publicly declared they should all be shot in case the US 'ends up breeding morons'. As I said, those who defend him are wrong to do so

Nice. The people in charge during this period certainly weren't very nice people at all, on either side. Why was that?