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10th October 1944
10th October.

Having taken a day off to recover from the terrible effects of the Slovak General Staff's Map of Many Things, Tiso and Tuka have returned to the Command Shed. With a greater understanding of the wider war, they must now decide on how best to employ the might of the Slovak Army.

"General, what is the plan for the 2nd Division?" Tiso decided to start in the West.

"The 2nd (Brackets Division) is still engaged in the Battle for Vernon." Kubela "They will either continue to hold there or pull back into Paris."

"Is that wise, what about the French Resistance?" Tuka queried.

"German intelligence believes they are planning to go on strike." Von Killinger joined the conversation.

"See, a general strike could cripple Paris and hamper the defence." Tiso said.

"No not a general strike, they are going on strike from the war." Von Killinger clarified.

"How can they go on strike from the war?!" Tuka yelled.

"They are underground partisans, it's not like they have a contract or are getting paid for it." Tiso reasoned.

"We understand those are two of their main complaints." Von Killinger said.

There was a pause as Tiso tried to forget what he had just heard.

"Will this impact the defence of France?" Tuka asked.

"We think it will be a benefit." Kubela said.

"How?" Tuka moved up the shouting spectrum a notch.

"Well we suspect their old instincts will kick in, they will ignore Germany and instead just blockade Dover out of force of habit. This will hamper Allied supply lines across the continent." Von Killinger explained.

"Moving onto the Eastern Front." Tiso reached out to a hopefully safer topic.

"We came up with a plan, alas it had two minor flaws." Malar explained

Tiso's hands, working entirely on instinct, reached for his hip flask.

"We intended to relieve the pressure on Romania by launching an ambitious offensive into Bessarabia,sending our Panzers and mechanised infantry forward to slice through the front line and manoeuvring behind the Soviets before they can react, trapping them in a large pocket for reduction by our dive bombers and supporting forces." Kubela explained

y6fkB5o.jpg

The time Malar (Augustin flavour) spent with the Germans on the Eastern Front was not wasted, he has brought back knowledge of advanced (ish) doctrines! If only they were doctrines for units Slovakia had or knew how to build and could afford.

"Then we realised that we only have one division, haven't got any tanks, any mechanised infantry or any dive bombers." Malar said sadly.

"Generals, that is four problems." Tuka reached mid-range in his shouting.

"Yes, that was when we discovered problem #5 - the general staff cannot count, not even on their fingers." Kubela sobbed.

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Slovaks don't need no Education, they are just another brick in the Axis wall. Which is handy as no education was on offer for them.

"We've had to revert to the backup plan." Malar sadly confirmed.

"The 1st Division is heading south on foot to try and support the Romanian defence of Ploiești and Bucharest." Kubela tried to pull himself together.

--
Notes:
Amazingly those tech shots are genuine, Slovakia does have two semi-useful doctrine (if they had tanks, mech or motor infantry). They first turn up in 1943, a scenario that it appears Paradox put more effort into than the 1944 one. As a reminder Slovakia still has zero techs for tanks or any kind of motorised or mechanised infantry.

I will continue to move bracket around for the 2nd Division until it become amusing or this AAR finishes.

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Edit: Typos fixed thanks to the sharp eyes of @5688
 
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With a greater understanding of the wider war, they must now decide on how best to employ the might of the Slovak Army.
Well, at least Slovakia seems to have developed advanced tech in Sarcasm, Naivety and Futility! :D All vital doctrines during dire times. Perhaps they should be researching Liver-Cleansing Techniques, in order to improve Tiso and Tuka's organisation recovery rates and to ensure they survive long enough to be hauled up before a Soviet People's Court and then shot at the end of the war!
 
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The French front sounds reasonably stable and the Italian is holding. The general staff's ambitious plan was actually sound and the backup plan they came up with doesn't sound immediatly suicidal. Are they secretly better strategists than hitler?
 
Perhaps they should be researching Liver-Cleansing Techniques, in order to improve Tiso and Tuka's organisation recovery rates and to ensure they survive long enough to be hauled up before a Soviet People's Court and then shot at the end of the war!
As I'm sure you can guess, Slovakia lacks all the medical techs. It would be nice to think this means they are at late Victoria tech, so at least know the Liver exists. In reality, given how far everything else has regressed, they probably are back at Hippocrates and the Four Humors. Tiso doesn't get hangovers, he gets an excess of yellow bile.

The French front sounds reasonably stable and the Italian is holding. The general staff's ambitious plan was actually sound and the backup plan they came up with doesn't sound immediatly suicidal. Are they secretly better strategists than hitler?
The French front is reasonably stable, however the Italian front is only holding while the AI sorts out the supply routes through the newly puppeted Italian not-Fascist State. Certainly I think the Slovak General Staff are better strategists than Hitler, but then so was my old cat.

And that..."Might of the Slovak army"

They might be here and they might be there.:)
rimshot.gif


I suggest the Slovak troops steal the Ploiești oil for themselves
Slovakia actually has no units that use oil, no realistic way to acquire/construct/steal any units that do and is banned from trading so couldn't even sell it. At last, an advantage to being a pre-industrial civilisation!
 
Slovakia should take out a massive insurance policy on Slovenia, then burn it down and use the insurance money to move the country somewhere more peaceful, perhaps next to Chad or right off the South Sandwich Islands.
 
Slovakia should take out a massive insurance policy on Slovenia, then burn it down and use the insurance money to move the country somewhere more peaceful, perhaps next to Chad or right off the South Sandwich Islands.
Heh :D: an imaginative idea, but they would have to invent insurance first, and from past experience I don't know if they would have the tech :rolleyes:.
 
You have likely explained your method of writing this AAR; care to explain again? I can truly plead...a bad back.:)
I play a decent way ahead, taking screenshots of pretty much every event and all the fronts. I keep a note of ideas, or even lines, as they come to me and keep them next to the screenshots. Then I study each screenshot, check no-one in it is dead/on the wrong side and that the event is sort of happening at the right point, if I find one of those then that's normally the update. If not I find the next big event and write the update around that.

What is your Slovakia doing with its leadership? Is it researching anything or just training officers?
Slovak science is attempting to advance, all shall be revealed in due course.... Though if Slovakia gets annexed before they finish researching I'll let you know what they were doing.

Slovakia should take out a massive insurance policy on Slovenia, then burn it down and use the insurance money to move the country somewhere more peaceful, perhaps next to Chad or right off the South Sandwich Islands.
Heh :D: an imaginative idea, but they would have to invent insurance first, and from past experience I don't know if they would have the tech :rolleyes:.
I agree with both these posts.
IndeedSir.gif


Why do I get the feeling that Slovakia in 1939 (scenario) is more technologically advanced than Slovakia in 1944?
It does seem that way, but even Paradox aren't that inept. Slovakia is, just, a bit more advanced in 1944 than 1939. After 5 years of Total War It has learnt those two new Blitzkrieg land doctrines. Not how to make tanks. Or trucks. Or rifles. Or even infantry division. No industrial techs at all. But it has learnt something, just not anything it will ever be able to use.

*Pop*, glug, glug glug
 
11th October 1944
11th October 1944

With military matters well in hand, one division per hand, Tiso and Tuka have returned to the Presidential compound to attempt to consider the wider war. We join them as they begin with a review of the home front.

"We have run out of almost everything bar metal and our industrial production has crashed to barely half maximum possible. Luckily due to our heavy losses we don't have many forces to supply and due to a lack of technology we are unable to train new infantry divisions as replacements, though that's not a major problem as we are scrapping the barrel for manpower as it is." Tuka read from the documents.

"So no real changes." Tiso summarised.

Tuka nodded.

This depressing exchange was interrupted by the arrival of a messenger with two telegrams from the Foreign Ministry and a note from Stefan begging to be allowed out.

"Still not allowing Stefan into cabinet?" Tuka observed.

"I'm not allowing him to leave his office." Tiso confirmed.

"What, ever?"

"No. His crimes are too severe for any leniency."

As Tuka's mind boggled at the logistics of that decision, Tiso read the messages. The first announced the latest triumph of Slovak Counter-Intelligence.

2VhUo9Y.jpg

This spy from the Dutch,
Did not achieve much.
He was betrayed by clogs,
They were as loud as frogs
Had he maintained ontological reflexivity that would have warned of the limitations of hermeneutical examinations of causative reality.

Janko Jesensky showing naked contempt for the latest Allied spy to be caught. Probably. Maybe. For the spy's sake I hope not, to be mocked by Slovak Counter-Intelligence is as damning a verdict as is possible in the world of intelligence.

"He is a surprisingly good spy catcher isn't he, for an anti-fascist poet?" Tuka said, relieved for the change in subject.

Tiso nodded and moved onto the next note.

q9WrKFW.jpg

The Bulgarian plan appears to be that if they stop the Communists forming a new political party this many, in some unexplained way, put off the 3rd Ukrainian Front from continuing their invasion. The fact they think this might work goes a long way to explaining why they declared war on the Soviets in the first place

Noting that;
a) There were huge holes in the Bulgarian front lines, but
b) The Bulgarian government were mucking around with banning theoretical new political parties (in a country that didn't have elections)

Tiso realised that he didn't actually lead the most incompetent government in the Axis and celebrated in the traditional Slovakian manner; *pop*, glug, glug, glug... "Ahhhhh....".

--
Notes:
The more observant of you may have noticed we now have threadmarks, to make re-reading this epic easier. I did so while adding the marks and realised that bits of this were quite good, sadly I also saw a lot of old names who are no longer active. So I dedicate the threadmarks to old jokes and absent friends.

It would be nice to imagine the Bulgarian event was Paradox's weird interpretation of the OTL coup d'état that occurred in September 1944 in Bulgaria. But it isn't, because that was just a random event that happened in the wrong month.

Relevant Bulgarian fact - Bulgaria did not declare war on the Soviet Union with the rest of the Axis minors. It was at war with the Western Allies, but never the Soviets. The Soviet did declare war 5th September 1944, but that was only because the Coup plotters were a bit vague as to their plans. The 'war' with the Soviet ended 9th September 1944 when Bulgaria officially changed sides and declared war on Germany.

Paradox ignores all this and just has Bulgaria declare war on everyone from April 1941 and then get automatically dragged into the war with the Soviets. They are nothing if not consistent in their lack of research and contempt for detail.
 
Ah, how I've missed the fine poetry of the Slovakian counter-intelligence division! I suppose it makes sense that this would be one of the few strengths of the Slovak government, given that poetry is such an ancient idea, it is well within the reach of Slovakian technological progress!
 
The threadmarks and especially their ruthless side-by-side comparison of ingame dates and real life dates really present the scope of this story.
 
I think the Bulgarians make great allies for the Slovakians! Not so great minds think alike. They could perhaps use some socialist realist poetry written on license from Slovakia (one of the few technologies - or more of a doctrine perhaps - they seem to have mastered). It could be paid for with either one or the other by now worthless currencies. Though that might not be enough to stop the 3rd Shock Army (or whatever it is that’s coming at them).

Pop, glug, etc