At least Slovakia has developed the tech for "paper". That should count for something.
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Archam - Between losing the Czechs and the Vienna Awards there really isn't a lot of Slovakia left, not surprising it doesn't show up on maps.
eqqman - To be fair the Slovak Army is only tiny in comparison to everyone else, there are still 20,000 of them in two division (plus a few thousand in HQ units). At twenty images per post that could take quite a while to review each man individually!
Archam - Thinking about it trains are safely Victorian tech so there are probably railways in Slovakia. Well Pruzinsky is probably aware of trains, whether the country has actually built any is a different question.
Stuyvesant - Bear in mind that Malar is head of the General Staff and so, theoretically, there must be people even less competent lower down the chain of command....
Rae - Hard to see how really.
loki100 - Funny you should mention that, for it is the theme of the next update.
NapoleonComple - Worryingly that is probably the best case scenario for Slovakia right now.
Kurt_Steiner - I thought he might.
Surt - Soon, but not yet. I want to get the service ministries done and then - To War!
SSmith - Hmm, perhaps Pruzinsky could consult the inestimable Mr Wells about the possibilities of a vast time freezing device to save the nation? Maybe in a different AAR, but this time round there will be no cunning plans or clever events; Slovakia will have to rely on their native wit, brains and cunning.
It's not going to go well is it?
Nathan Madien - It's more papyrus than paper to be honest, but as you say at least it's something.
eqqman - To be fair the Slovak Army is only tiny in comparison to everyone else, there are still 20,000 of them in two division (plus a few thousand in HQ units). At twenty images per post that could take quite a while to review each man individually!
Archam - Thinking about it trains are safely Victorian tech so there are probably railways in Slovakia. Well Pruzinsky is probably aware of trains, whether the country has actually built any is a different question.
Stuyvesant - Bear in mind that Malar is head of the General Staff and so, theoretically, there must be people even less competent lower down the chain of command....
Rae - Hard to see how really.
loki100 - Funny you should mention that, for it is the theme of the next update.
NapoleonComple - Worryingly that is probably the best case scenario for Slovakia right now.
Kurt_Steiner - I thought he might.
Surt - Soon, but not yet. I want to get the service ministries done and then - To War!
SSmith - Hmm, perhaps Pruzinsky could consult the inestimable Mr Wells about the possibilities of a vast time freezing device to save the nation? Maybe in a different AAR, but this time round there will be no cunning plans or clever events; Slovakia will have to rely on their native wit, brains and cunning.
It's not going to go well is it?
Nathan Madien - It's more papyrus than paper to be honest, but as you say at least it's something.
24th June 1944
24th June
After another therapeutic shout at the Chief of the General Staff, Tuka was joined by a refreshed Tiso.
"Let us try again general." Tuka tried to be as clear as possible. "Could we review a smaller picture, one more relevant to Slovakia?"
Malar, wishing his civilians superiors would just make their minds up, directed them towards another wall of the map room.
The smaller picture, General Malar bows to no man when it comes to being depressingly literal.
Tiso and Tuka studied the map.
"Do you know what I think is most alarming General." Tiso said finally
"The thought of the one million men and 2000 tanks of the 1st Ukrainian Front racing west to crush us?"
"That is terrifying, but no." Tiso said.
"The rapid progress of the landings on the French coast and the possibility of the 21st Army Group racing across Europe to crush us?"
"The Allied landings have done worryingly well, but they're still a long way away from us, so it's not that." Tiso said.
"The possibility of the Americans replacing General Clark and the Allied Armies in Italy, freed from that handicap, subsequently racing across the Alps to crush us?" Malar guessed.
"No, not that either." Tiso said, looking longingly at the drinks cabinet in the corner.
"Well what then?" Malar asked.
"The fact that the Armies General Staff think that the only objective of the Soviet, British and American armies invading Europe is to crush Slovakia!"
There was a long pause.
"So you are suggesting that the Allies are not engaged in a vital Race to Bratislva?" Malar tried to hide it, but he was clearly crushed at the mere thought.
After another therapeutic shout at the Chief of the General Staff, Tuka was joined by a refreshed Tiso.
"Let us try again general." Tuka tried to be as clear as possible. "Could we review a smaller picture, one more relevant to Slovakia?"
Malar, wishing his civilians superiors would just make their minds up, directed them towards another wall of the map room.
The smaller picture, General Malar bows to no man when it comes to being depressingly literal.
Tiso and Tuka studied the map.
"Do you know what I think is most alarming General." Tiso said finally
"The thought of the one million men and 2000 tanks of the 1st Ukrainian Front racing west to crush us?"
"That is terrifying, but no." Tiso said.
"The rapid progress of the landings on the French coast and the possibility of the 21st Army Group racing across Europe to crush us?"
"The Allied landings have done worryingly well, but they're still a long way away from us, so it's not that." Tiso said.
"The possibility of the Americans replacing General Clark and the Allied Armies in Italy, freed from that handicap, subsequently racing across the Alps to crush us?" Malar guessed.
"No, not that either." Tiso said, looking longingly at the drinks cabinet in the corner.
"Well what then?" Malar asked.
"The fact that the Armies General Staff think that the only objective of the Soviet, British and American armies invading Europe is to crush Slovakia!"
There was a long pause.
"So you are suggesting that the Allies are not engaged in a vital Race to Bratislva?" Malar tried to hide it, but he was clearly crushed at the mere thought.
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"Lets pretend we're not in..."
If I were you, I'd throw all my forces against the Soviets and pray the allies get to me first.
If I were you, I'd throw all my forces against the Soviets and pray the allies get to me first.
Mmmh. I do hope that Monty doesn't learn about Malarn's fears or I see a new kind of Market Garden incoming.:blink:
Is Malar aware that the grey color on the map is not some terra incognitas from Europa Universalis but an actual country called "Germany" ?
If not that may explain his surprise discovering Slovakia is not the Allies primary objective.
I'm starting to think the Slovakian administration and military has somehow been transfered from EU3 without noticing they're not in a Renaissance time frame anymore, that would account for the state of the country...
If not that may explain his surprise discovering Slovakia is not the Allies primary objective.
I'm starting to think the Slovakian administration and military has somehow been transfered from EU3 without noticing they're not in a Renaissance time frame anymore, that would account for the state of the country...
I gather Slovak astronomy probably ascribes to the theory that the sun (the planets, other galaxies, the universe) circles around Bratislava, as well?
Tiso has certainly hit on an important point. He is probably correct that the Soviets and the Allies have little interest in destroying Slovakia... the problem remains though that they will probably go through Slovakia to get wherever they're going! Perhaps it would help to put up a few signposts along the main highways dirt tracks pointing to Berlin in the opposite direction?
Yes! Or like the Bugs Bunny cartoons, just turn the signpost around so instead of going through Bratislava, they go through Munich or something.
NapoleonComple - There is an issue with that, as you will see in the next update.
Kurt_Steiner - You know I think it would probably work against Slovakia, parachutists with modern weapons would probably appear to be alien invaders with hyper-advanced technology in their eyes!
Archam - Malar is aware of Germany, he just doesn't think it is as important as the mighty Slovakia. I like the EU3 idea, my own theory is that for Slovakia 1939 was Year Zero and everything was reset to nothing at that date. From that view point they've progressed amazingly well.
Stuyvesant - Of course, because every night the sun disappears, but Slovakia's greatness shines on 24 hours a day!
SSmith - That would require Slovakia to have the concept of road signs, and on past experience I doubt they do.
Avindian - I'm not sure there is anyone in the cabinet with the level of cunning that plan requires.
Kurt_Steiner - You know I think it would probably work against Slovakia, parachutists with modern weapons would probably appear to be alien invaders with hyper-advanced technology in their eyes!
Archam - Malar is aware of Germany, he just doesn't think it is as important as the mighty Slovakia. I like the EU3 idea, my own theory is that for Slovakia 1939 was Year Zero and everything was reset to nothing at that date. From that view point they've progressed amazingly well.
Stuyvesant - Of course, because every night the sun disappears, but Slovakia's greatness shines on 24 hours a day!
SSmith - That would require Slovakia to have the concept of road signs, and on past experience I doubt they do.
Avindian - I'm not sure there is anyone in the cabinet with the level of cunning that plan requires.
25th June 1944
25th June
After comforting the sobbing General Malar, a man unable to cope with the idea of Slovakia not being the centre of global strategic thinking, Tiso and Tuka gave him a day to recover. They returned on the 25th to discuss grand strategy.
"So General what is the plan to deal with these threats?" Tiso asked.
"Well Mr President we have identified three options." There was a long pause as Malar entirely failed to continue the sentence.
"And those options are?" Tuka prompted.
"Options R, F and I" Malar replied.
Tuka paused to curse Malar's literalness.
"Please explain the outline, advantages and disadvantages of the three options." Tuka said patiently.
Malar shuffled around the map table and produced the operations plan. To everyone's great relief he handed over the briefing to the Army Chief Ferdinand Catlos
The Slovak General Staff's map of many options, General Malar's happy place where Slovakia is still the centre of the world.
"Plan R stands for 'Return to the East', in this we send the Slovak Combat Group back to bolster the Eastern Front, with the aim of defeating the Soviet hordes and driving them back to Moscow. The advantages are that the Eastern Front is the nearest threat. The disadvantages is that there are millions of men and thousand of tanks fighting it out and we don't think our two divisions will make that much of a difference." Catlos said.
"Plan F stands for 'Fight them on the beaches', we send the men to France to defeat the Allied beachhead and drive them back into the sea. With the third front destroyed Germany will then be able to focus her efforts on defeating the Soviet menace. The advantage is that we think our forces could actually make a difference as the numbers involved are smaller. The disadvantage is that it's a long way away and the issue will probably be decided one way or the other before we get there." Catlos continued.
Tuka interrupted.
"I presume Plan I is 'Invade Italy', retake Rome and drive the Allies out of Italy?" He said.
"No, Plan I actually stand for 'In the Middle', though coincidentally it does involve invading Italy. The advantage is that it's nearby and we can make a difference. The disadvantage is that we don't think it matters, we believe the Italian Front is far less important than the East or West." Catlos said. "That was quite a lucky guess you made to pick Italy though."
"Lucky guess?!" Tuka shouted. "It was obvious!"
"What? How?" Catlos panicked. "We used the latest German techniques to pick these code names and code letters, we were told it would be impossible for anyone to break them!"
Tiso thanked his foresight at bringing a hip flask to the meeting, he found it a great comfort.
---
Last update before Christmas, so there will be a short break over the next few days. In the meantime I present an old El Pip AAR tradition - the reader vote. Slovakia needs to know what to do next, which of the cunning plans to follow and needs someone to make that decision for them. To recap your choices are;
In the finest traditions this vote is under Florida Rules, so vote early and vote often, and should you pick the 'something else' category be sure and say what the something else is or the vote will not count. Polls will remain open until sometime on the 1st Jan 2012, following which the divisions will march to war. (Assuming 'something else' isn't disband, march to Denmark or something similar).
After comforting the sobbing General Malar, a man unable to cope with the idea of Slovakia not being the centre of global strategic thinking, Tiso and Tuka gave him a day to recover. They returned on the 25th to discuss grand strategy.
"So General what is the plan to deal with these threats?" Tiso asked.
"Well Mr President we have identified three options." There was a long pause as Malar entirely failed to continue the sentence.
"And those options are?" Tuka prompted.
"Options R, F and I" Malar replied.
Tuka paused to curse Malar's literalness.
"Please explain the outline, advantages and disadvantages of the three options." Tuka said patiently.
Malar shuffled around the map table and produced the operations plan. To everyone's great relief he handed over the briefing to the Army Chief Ferdinand Catlos
The Slovak General Staff's map of many options, General Malar's happy place where Slovakia is still the centre of the world.
"Plan R stands for 'Return to the East', in this we send the Slovak Combat Group back to bolster the Eastern Front, with the aim of defeating the Soviet hordes and driving them back to Moscow. The advantages are that the Eastern Front is the nearest threat. The disadvantages is that there are millions of men and thousand of tanks fighting it out and we don't think our two divisions will make that much of a difference." Catlos said.
"Plan F stands for 'Fight them on the beaches', we send the men to France to defeat the Allied beachhead and drive them back into the sea. With the third front destroyed Germany will then be able to focus her efforts on defeating the Soviet menace. The advantage is that we think our forces could actually make a difference as the numbers involved are smaller. The disadvantage is that it's a long way away and the issue will probably be decided one way or the other before we get there." Catlos continued.
Tuka interrupted.
"I presume Plan I is 'Invade Italy', retake Rome and drive the Allies out of Italy?" He said.
"No, Plan I actually stand for 'In the Middle', though coincidentally it does involve invading Italy. The advantage is that it's nearby and we can make a difference. The disadvantage is that we don't think it matters, we believe the Italian Front is far less important than the East or West." Catlos said. "That was quite a lucky guess you made to pick Italy though."
"Lucky guess?!" Tuka shouted. "It was obvious!"
"What? How?" Catlos panicked. "We used the latest German techniques to pick these code names and code letters, we were told it would be impossible for anyone to break them!"
Tiso thanked his foresight at bringing a hip flask to the meeting, he found it a great comfort.
---
Last update before Christmas, so there will be a short break over the next few days. In the meantime I present an old El Pip AAR tradition - the reader vote. Slovakia needs to know what to do next, which of the cunning plans to follow and needs someone to make that decision for them. To recap your choices are;
- Plan R
- Plan F
- Plan I
- Something Else
In the finest traditions this vote is under Florida Rules, so vote early and vote often, and should you pick the 'something else' category be sure and say what the something else is or the vote will not count. Polls will remain open until sometime on the 1st Jan 2012, following which the divisions will march to war. (Assuming 'something else' isn't disband, march to Denmark or something similar).
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Following the tradition established by the Blessed Pythons of the Holy Pin, I say:
Something else:
That is, drop Slovakia and get Germany. A Nuts Hitler isn't new, but I have great hopes about it.
But as you won't do that, Winston (the PM, not the dog) and I vote for Plan F. Call me Captain Obvious.
Something else:
That is, drop Slovakia and get Germany. A Nuts Hitler isn't new, but I have great hopes about it.
But as you won't do that, Winston (the PM, not the dog) and I vote for Plan F. Call me Captain Obvious.
I vote for •Something Else:
Forget everyone else and go invade Sweden. It's their fault Slovakia isn't as powerful as it should be.
Forget everyone else and go invade Sweden. It's their fault Slovakia isn't as powerful as it should be.
Hm
Plan I seems the most rational option, F the most boring and R the most heroic.
Plan R !
Plan I seems the most rational option, F the most boring and R the most heroic.
Plan R !
General Catlos has a remarkably clear-sighted understanding of Slovakia's options. And I'm sure Malar could never have named those operational plans correctly!
I'm voting for Plan I, mainly because Italy is closer than France and it might actually make a difference. To be honest, though, the Soviets are even closer, so it might become necessary to abandon Plan I and adopt Plan S ("Save Slovakia"), whatever that may be...
I'm voting for Plan I, mainly because Italy is closer than France and it might actually make a difference. To be honest, though, the Soviets are even closer, so it might become necessary to abandon Plan I and adopt Plan S ("Save Slovakia"), whatever that may be...
Plan R; I'm of the defeatist opinion that Slovakia and its overlord are doomed, and that to hold up the allies would be inviting occupation by the USSR. I'd rather surrender to the allies than to the Russians.
Winning is no longer on the table. Losing to the correct opponent is the goal now, and its slipping away fast.
Winning is no longer on the table. Losing to the correct opponent is the goal now, and its slipping away fast.
