20th September 1944 - Terrible Poetry Edition Update
20th September.
The Slovak Vodca, Tiso, and his trusted core of advisers (Tuka, Fritz and Malar) are working to purge the Slovak cabinet of Czechs and Traitors, and if that means getting rid of all the competent ministers as well, then that is a price they are prepared to pay.
"It's bad news from the Ministry of Armaments." Malar told the assembled group.
"No new candidates?" Tuka asked.
Malar nodded sadly.
"So if we wished to replace Pruzinksy with someone who at least knows we are in the 20th Century?" Tiso asked.
"Your choices remain a jet engine obsessed farmer with delusions of the Slovak Nuclear Programme or a fanatically Communist romantic-social-realist poet who is wanted by the Gestapo for crimes he actually did commit." Fritz confirmed.
Tiso gestured the group move onto the next portfolio, desperately trying to distract himself from the siren call of his ever-present companion.
"For Minister of Security we do have a new applicant." Fritz announced cheerfully.
Tiso perked up and directed this new candidate be shown in.
"Just as Planned!" Cackled Alexander Mach as he strode into the room.
There was a sigh from Tiso.
"What are you doing here Mach?" Tuka asked.
"I'm applying for the job so I can save Slovakia from being over-run by spies and traitors." Mach declared.
Durcansky and Fritz are also technically eligible, the post of Head of Slovak Counter-Intelligence is much coveted.
"Jessensky is doing a very good job of that at present." General Malar spoke up.
"He's only doing a good job by the standards of a critical realist poet!" Mach scoffed.
Malar gestured at the pile of Security Telegrams.
There once was a spy from downunder,
who's plans went badly asunder.
The police heard a bleat,
caught him and his sheep
Thus we see that emergent transformational entities can only be understood by fixating on the processual realism embedded within the organisation
"I can catch spies as well." Mach whined. "Look." He gestured at his own message
Why the Dominican Republic is spying on Slovakia is a question few have asked and fewer have come up with a convincing answer to.
There is a pause
"Where is your poem then?" Malar asked.
"Poem?"
"Yes, the Slovak Constitution requires the capture of a spy to be accompanied by a poem." Fritz explained. "It's like de-linting a shag pile before underlay attachment, no-one knows why you do it but it's a vital part of the process."
After taking a short break to compose himself, and his poem, Mach returned to the room, cleared his throat and launched into his effort on the capture of the Dominican Republican Spy;
There is a silence. One of the Junior Officers collects the ritual tumble-weed and rolls it across the HQ. Mach looks sadly at the door. Tiso nods and Mach is dragged away to the pencil and snake pits.
"I never thought he'd sink that low." Tuka said.
"I still struggle to believe it." Malar mumbled numbly.
"To be reduced to Imagist Poetry." Fritz exclaimed.
Tiso offered around his hipflask as the Slovak cabinet try to recover from what they have just witnessed.
--
Notes:
Durcansky, Fritz and Jesensky are all Compassionate Gentlemen. Why the Slovak government needed three ministers with the same ideology and trait is a mystery perhaps known only to Paradox.
I am not a fan of Imagist Poetry. It's not Edgar Lee Masters bad, but it is terrible.
The Slovak Vodca, Tiso, and his trusted core of advisers (Tuka, Fritz and Malar) are working to purge the Slovak cabinet of Czechs and Traitors, and if that means getting rid of all the competent ministers as well, then that is a price they are prepared to pay.
"It's bad news from the Ministry of Armaments." Malar told the assembled group.
"No new candidates?" Tuka asked.
Malar nodded sadly.
"So if we wished to replace Pruzinksy with someone who at least knows we are in the 20th Century?" Tiso asked.
"Your choices remain a jet engine obsessed farmer with delusions of the Slovak Nuclear Programme or a fanatically Communist romantic-social-realist poet who is wanted by the Gestapo for crimes he actually did commit." Fritz confirmed.
Tiso gestured the group move onto the next portfolio, desperately trying to distract himself from the siren call of his ever-present companion.
"For Minister of Security we do have a new applicant." Fritz announced cheerfully.
Tiso perked up and directed this new candidate be shown in.
"Just as Planned!" Cackled Alexander Mach as he strode into the room.
There was a sigh from Tiso.
"What are you doing here Mach?" Tuka asked.
"I'm applying for the job so I can save Slovakia from being over-run by spies and traitors." Mach declared.
Durcansky and Fritz are also technically eligible, the post of Head of Slovak Counter-Intelligence is much coveted.
"Jessensky is doing a very good job of that at present." General Malar spoke up.
"He's only doing a good job by the standards of a critical realist poet!" Mach scoffed.
Malar gestured at the pile of Security Telegrams.
There once was a spy from downunder,
who's plans went badly asunder.
The police heard a bleat,
caught him and his sheep
Thus we see that emergent transformational entities can only be understood by fixating on the processual realism embedded within the organisation
"I can catch spies as well." Mach whined. "Look." He gestured at his own message
Why the Dominican Republic is spying on Slovakia is a question few have asked and fewer have come up with a convincing answer to.
There is a pause
"Where is your poem then?" Malar asked.
"Poem?"
"Yes, the Slovak Constitution requires the capture of a spy to be accompanied by a poem." Fritz explained. "It's like de-linting a shag pile before underlay attachment, no-one knows why you do it but it's a vital part of the process."
After taking a short break to compose himself, and his poem, Mach returned to the room, cleared his throat and launched into his effort on the capture of the Dominican Republican Spy;
Though born of Half an isle
The Dominicans are Full in character
Yet their agent did fail at spying
The Dominicans are Full in character
Yet their agent did fail at spying
There is a silence. One of the Junior Officers collects the ritual tumble-weed and rolls it across the HQ. Mach looks sadly at the door. Tiso nods and Mach is dragged away to the pencil and snake pits.
"I never thought he'd sink that low." Tuka said.
"I still struggle to believe it." Malar mumbled numbly.
"To be reduced to Imagist Poetry." Fritz exclaimed.
Tiso offered around his hipflask as the Slovak cabinet try to recover from what they have just witnessed.
--
Notes:
Durcansky, Fritz and Jesensky are all Compassionate Gentlemen. Why the Slovak government needed three ministers with the same ideology and trait is a mystery perhaps known only to Paradox.
I am not a fan of Imagist Poetry. It's not Edgar Lee Masters bad, but it is terrible.
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