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I'm not sure what to feel now. On the one hand the vile Czech traitors have been wiped off the map and annexed by glorious Slovakia. On the other hand that must mean there are now (more) Czechs in Slovakia...
Athalcor - I'm not sure Skeletor could do a worse job, and at least he'd keep things entertaining as he insults his minions/the Slovak cabinet.
sebas379 - You are making a wild assumption about quite how the game interprets this seemingly simple annexation command, that is always dangerous where HOI3 is concerned.
sebas379 - You are making a wild assumption about quite how the game interprets this seemingly simple annexation command, that is always dangerous where HOI3 is concerned.
We should probably clarify this together,is Hitler Skeletor? And if he is,who's He Man? Could it be Stalin?
Well, I would actually suggest that Skeletor & his team are all Slovaks, facing their everyday peril. And He-Man is obviously a Czech with Czechoslovakia being Eternia occupied by Hordak's (Hitler's) forces. It all makes too much sense.
Galbatorix994 / Athalcor - After careful consideration I prefer Athalcor's suggestion, not only does it fit the facts much better, it also means that if Tiso is Skeletor then Tuka is Evil-Lyn, something I find childishly amusing.
19th September 1944 - Zombie Coup Edition Update
19th September. Still.
Having been deposed in the stealthiest coup in history Tiso and Tuka are on the hunt to find the new leader of Slovakia, the mysterious and badly over umlauted Fuĥŗęř. Well I say hunt. They actually just followed the messenger as he used his mystic messenger sense to home in on the new leader, the rest of the cabinet in tow. Eventually they reached their destination deep in the dark heart of the Presidential Palace.
"We are going to have to do something about this when we regain power." Tuka complained as he crashed into a table.
"It is a bit too dark isn't it." Tiso agreed.
They both cursed the over literalness that was one of the hallmarks of Slovakia.
"Message for the Fuĥŗęř." The messenger announced
"Pass it over." Stefan Tiso commanded.
The messenger did so and fled.
"Stefan?!" Tiso asked.
"So you are the new Fuĥŗęř?" Tuka asked.
"Oh no, I merely serve the great leader." Stefan explained. "I will introduce you."
He led T&T through the double doors into the Presidential Office.
The new leadership team at the helm of Slovakia. For comparison J. Tiso is a Pig-Headed Isolationist and Tuka is a Naive Optimist (while also somehow being a Cloak and Dagger Schemer Foreign Minister?).
"Stefan, that's Anrej Hlinka." Tiso said slowly.
"I know, he has returned to bring Slovakia to glory."
Tiso and Tuka exchanged a concerned glance.
"He's quiet isn't he?" Tiso gently probed.
"He has said less than I hoped." Stefan conceded.
"He's very thin." Tuka prompted.
"The Leader has more important concerns than such base carnal desires as eating." Stefan said primly.
"You do know he's dead don't you?" Tiso went for broke.
"Are you sure?" Stefan said in shock.
"Stefan. He's a skeleton with a rosary draped round his neck. He is clearly dead." Tiso said bluntly.
"Hlinka died in 1938. I know, I was at the funeral." Tuka confirmed.
As the catatonic Stefan was led away, Tiso moved to regain power.
"Good to be back in the saddle." He said to Tuka.
"I'm afraid not." Gerjza Fritz interrupted. "Legally Hlinka is still the President."
"But he's dead!" Tuka yelled.
"Constitutionally, that is not a problem." Fritz explained.
"What?!" Tuka yelled. Louder.
"When we rewrote the constitution, you did say there should be no limits on your power or legal way to remove you from power. So we just deleted all those clauses, including the ones about the President having to be of sound body and mind." Fritz pointed out the relevant gaps in the Slovak constitution. "A sitting President is harder to remove than triple-bond adhesive from a foamed underlay." He explained.
"I did say that didn't I?" Tiso reminisced, thinking of simpler pre-war times.
"Wait a minute, we are proper National Socialist now. Haven't we changed all the titles around?" Tuka asked.
"I thought I was the Fuĥŗęř now." Tiso confirmed.
"That's probably technically correct." Fritz conceded.
"There you go then, Hlinka can stay President he just won't have any power, duty or responsibilities. I will take all those as the Fuĥŗęř and Head of State." Tiso declared
That went surprisingly well I thought.
"And my first directive as your newly restored leader is to get rid of those damned Umlauts, we have no need of such things. Instead I shall be known as the Vodca." Tiso declared.
The assembled cabinet raised their hipflasks in salute.
--
Notes:
If you change the government type by event the game engine gets to pick who the new leaders are, as you would expect it made some interesting choices.
Hlinka was a catholic priest, founder of the Slovak People's Party, beloved of Pope Pius XI (many elaborate titles were bestowed upon him) and was the spiritual and theoretical mentor of Tiso. But he has the political ability and ambition of a small teaspoon so was never going to become leader. He also died in 1938 a year before Slovak independence. Yet he is first choice for leader of a full-Nazi Slovakia.
Stefan we've already met and he was actually Prime Minister post-Slovak National Uprising, so he fits pretty well.
Historically Tiso did start being referred to as Vodca sometime in the early 1940s, Vodca being Slovak for Leader. Also explains Tiso's hipflask habit. Am I going to change every single screenshot so it says Vodca not Fuhrer? No, no I am not.
Having been deposed in the stealthiest coup in history Tiso and Tuka are on the hunt to find the new leader of Slovakia, the mysterious and badly over umlauted Fuĥŗęř. Well I say hunt. They actually just followed the messenger as he used his mystic messenger sense to home in on the new leader, the rest of the cabinet in tow. Eventually they reached their destination deep in the dark heart of the Presidential Palace.
"We are going to have to do something about this when we regain power." Tuka complained as he crashed into a table.
"It is a bit too dark isn't it." Tiso agreed.
They both cursed the over literalness that was one of the hallmarks of Slovakia.
"Message for the Fuĥŗęř." The messenger announced
"Pass it over." Stefan Tiso commanded.
The messenger did so and fled.
"Stefan?!" Tiso asked.
"So you are the new Fuĥŗęř?" Tuka asked.
"Oh no, I merely serve the great leader." Stefan explained. "I will introduce you."
He led T&T through the double doors into the Presidential Office.
The new leadership team at the helm of Slovakia. For comparison J. Tiso is a Pig-Headed Isolationist and Tuka is a Naive Optimist (while also somehow being a Cloak and Dagger Schemer Foreign Minister?).
"Stefan, that's Anrej Hlinka." Tiso said slowly.
"I know, he has returned to bring Slovakia to glory."
Tiso and Tuka exchanged a concerned glance.
"He's quiet isn't he?" Tiso gently probed.
"He has said less than I hoped." Stefan conceded.
"He's very thin." Tuka prompted.
"The Leader has more important concerns than such base carnal desires as eating." Stefan said primly.
"You do know he's dead don't you?" Tiso went for broke.
"Are you sure?" Stefan said in shock.
"Stefan. He's a skeleton with a rosary draped round his neck. He is clearly dead." Tiso said bluntly.
"Hlinka died in 1938. I know, I was at the funeral." Tuka confirmed.
As the catatonic Stefan was led away, Tiso moved to regain power.
"Good to be back in the saddle." He said to Tuka.
"I'm afraid not." Gerjza Fritz interrupted. "Legally Hlinka is still the President."
"But he's dead!" Tuka yelled.
"Constitutionally, that is not a problem." Fritz explained.
"What?!" Tuka yelled. Louder.
"When we rewrote the constitution, you did say there should be no limits on your power or legal way to remove you from power. So we just deleted all those clauses, including the ones about the President having to be of sound body and mind." Fritz pointed out the relevant gaps in the Slovak constitution. "A sitting President is harder to remove than triple-bond adhesive from a foamed underlay." He explained.
"I did say that didn't I?" Tiso reminisced, thinking of simpler pre-war times.
"Wait a minute, we are proper National Socialist now. Haven't we changed all the titles around?" Tuka asked.
"I thought I was the Fuĥŗęř now." Tiso confirmed.
"That's probably technically correct." Fritz conceded.
"There you go then, Hlinka can stay President he just won't have any power, duty or responsibilities. I will take all those as the Fuĥŗęř and Head of State." Tiso declared
That went surprisingly well I thought.
"And my first directive as your newly restored leader is to get rid of those damned Umlauts, we have no need of such things. Instead I shall be known as the Vodca." Tiso declared.
The assembled cabinet raised their hipflasks in salute.
--
Notes:
If you change the government type by event the game engine gets to pick who the new leaders are, as you would expect it made some interesting choices.
Hlinka was a catholic priest, founder of the Slovak People's Party, beloved of Pope Pius XI (many elaborate titles were bestowed upon him) and was the spiritual and theoretical mentor of Tiso. But he has the political ability and ambition of a small teaspoon so was never going to become leader. He also died in 1938 a year before Slovak independence. Yet he is first choice for leader of a full-Nazi Slovakia.
Stefan we've already met and he was actually Prime Minister post-Slovak National Uprising, so he fits pretty well.
Historically Tiso did start being referred to as Vodca sometime in the early 1940s, Vodca being Slovak for Leader. Also explains Tiso's hipflask habit. Am I going to change every single screenshot so it says Vodca not Fuhrer? No, no I am not.
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Every time I think Paradox couldn't have screwed up any worse, you prove that they did 
Beind alive. Such ridiculous requirments for being ruler of Slovakia, no wonder the country is in the shape it is in.
What? There are two Tisos? That's new to me .
IMHO, the matter gets even more convoluted when you consider that Slovakia had Josef Tiso and Yugoslavia got Josip Tito.
. IMHO, the matter gets even more convoluted when you consider that Slovakia had Josef Tiso and Yugoslavia got Josip Tito.
A dead guy couldn't possibly do any worse, no?
Does Stefan get a job in this cabinet?
Does Stefan get a job in this cabinet?
Gen. Marshall - If Paradox had properly researched this one and put any effort into the minor nations, this would have been a very short AAR indeed. Also thanks for your vote in the ACAs, it was crucial given how close things got.
sebas379 - You would think Slovakia was in no position to be fussy about rulers, it's not like they have an excess of qualified and competent candidates waiting to apply
markkur - Glad you liked it, hoping for more thumbs as we go on towards the inevitable defeat
Athalcor - Stefan's first introduction was quite stealthy, but he will play a larger role going forward. Tiso will be the only Tiso, Stefan will have to carry on being called his first name to avoid confusion.
There were clearly very few letters left when naming Central European dictators.
Andre Massena - Hlinka couldn't do any worse, but he'd do it very quietly. It would also require some form of necromancer to get any dialogue out of him, best to go with T&T who can at least speak, even if they don't always use that particular ability effectively.
Stefan's fate will be revealed in the next update.
sebas379 - You would think Slovakia was in no position to be fussy about rulers, it's not like they have an excess of qualified and competent candidates waiting to apply
markkur - Glad you liked it, hoping for more thumbs as we go on towards the inevitable defeat
Athalcor - Stefan's first introduction was quite stealthy, but he will play a larger role going forward. Tiso will be the only Tiso, Stefan will have to carry on being called his first name to avoid confusion.
There were clearly very few letters left when naming Central European dictators.
Andre Massena - Hlinka couldn't do any worse, but he'd do it very quietly. It would also require some form of necromancer to get any dialogue out of him, best to go with T&T who can at least speak, even if they don't always use that particular ability effectively.
Stefan's fate will be revealed in the next update.
Poetic. Surprised that this has never been brought up before then.
And I must say, for a thing called 'Inevitable Defeat', they sure has lasted a lot longer than I expected.
I find it ironic that Hlinka is a Barking Buffoon but yet he has been dead since 1938 so he can't do any barking (or anything else for that matter). Heck, he even looks dead in his picture.
Am trying to gradually browse and get up to date on this one. Still only up to their initial tour of the technological and industrial powerhouse that is Slovakia in June 1944 (page 5). I suspect our heroes will be no better off by page 53 .
It may be somewhere in between there and here, but it could be all the Slovakian tech was going into the production of elite tennis players, which investment will mature around the 1990s. Pity this can't be reflected as a bonus of some sort in the game. Challenge the rest of Europe to a tennis tournament for the fate of the world?
.It may be somewhere in between there and here, but it could be all the Slovakian tech was going into the production of elite tennis players, which investment will mature around the 1990s
. Pity this can't be reflected as a bonus of some sort in the game. Challenge the rest of Europe to a tennis tournament for the fate of the world?
TheButterflyComposer - In all fairness we have only got through 3 months of game time in this last 5 and a half years. Even by my standards this one has not been brisk.
Nathan Madien - He doesn't look well does he? I suppose if you were going to do Necrophilic Ventriloquism you may well stick to dog barking noises as being safest, anything more elaborate and bits might fall off
Bullfilter - Things get worse before they... get back to where they were to start with. The tennis plan is just the kind of long term thinking Slovakia needs, let us hope whoever ends up running the place after the inevitable defeat and annexation puts such a plan in place.
Nathan Madien - He doesn't look well does he? I suppose if you were going to do Necrophilic Ventriloquism you may well stick to dog barking noises as being safest, anything more elaborate and bits might fall off
Bullfilter - Things get worse before they... get back to where they were to start with. The tennis plan is just the kind of long term thinking Slovakia needs, let us hope whoever ends up running the place after the inevitable defeat and annexation puts such a plan in place.
It's all part of the plan of course, they are intentionally stretching out time to ensure they survive for as long as possible. Soon all 13 incarnations of the president will seal the entire country in a single moment in time inside a pocket universe. Bonus effect of which makes the invading US and Russian troops suddenly crash into each other and cause WW3 before the second one even finishes.
20th September 1944
20th September.
Tiso has taken a day off to settle into his newly renamed role as Supreme Vodca of Slovakia and has returned to the Presidential Palace to resume his rule. The cabinet has been gathered and Tiso and Tuka are making their way to the cabinet room to begin another day.
"So you are sure my title doesn't sound like an overly desperate advert for a terrible potato based alcohol?" Tiso asked.
"Even if some traitors do think so, you can always have them sent to the snake and pencil pit." Tuka pointed out.
Nodding at this wisdom, Tiso entered the room.
"What the hell is going on here?" He asked.
"I told you he would notice." Malar mumbled.
"Of course he would notice!" Tuka shouted.
"The cartographers did their best." Malar said.
There was a confused pause.
"What on earth are you talking about?" Tiso asked.
"The extra bit of Slovakia on the map." Malar replied.
The war had done terrible things to Slovakian Map Making Standards, but the general gist is still clear.
"That wasn't the point, but do go on." Tuka ordered.
"Well it turns out that when Hungary returned our lost lands, due to an administrative oversight they accidentally returned Levice and Veľký Krtíš as well." Malar explained.
"Accidentally?" Tiso queried.
"That was land they stole from us during the Vienna Award. Why would they give it back if they didn't have to?" Malar said.
"Because those two province are utterly dull and pointless, they may well have deliberately handed them over just to get rid of them." Tiso explained.
"Ahh. If it wasn't the map, what was the issue you noticed?" Malar asked.
"What the hell happened to the cabinet!" Tuka yelled. "It's full of Czech traitors!"
Massed spitting resulted, as required by Slovak protocol.
The cabinet of Hlinka and Stefan. It's not a pretty sight is it.
"We are going to have to do something about that." Tiso confirmed. "Summon Gejaz Fritz, we have some new ministers to interview."
--
Notes:
When the game reset the leadership, it also reset the cabinet to the wondrous dream team you see above.
The transfer back of the bit of Slovakia that Hungary occupied did get a bit confused, somehow I got the full region back not just the two provinces they had. As mentioned, they are utterly without resource or industry so Hungary isn't going to miss them.
Tiso has taken a day off to settle into his newly renamed role as Supreme Vodca of Slovakia and has returned to the Presidential Palace to resume his rule. The cabinet has been gathered and Tiso and Tuka are making their way to the cabinet room to begin another day.
"So you are sure my title doesn't sound like an overly desperate advert for a terrible potato based alcohol?" Tiso asked.
"Even if some traitors do think so, you can always have them sent to the snake and pencil pit." Tuka pointed out.
Nodding at this wisdom, Tiso entered the room.
"What the hell is going on here?" He asked.
"I told you he would notice." Malar mumbled.
"Of course he would notice!" Tuka shouted.
"The cartographers did their best." Malar said.
There was a confused pause.
"What on earth are you talking about?" Tiso asked.
"The extra bit of Slovakia on the map." Malar replied.
The war had done terrible things to Slovakian Map Making Standards, but the general gist is still clear.
"That wasn't the point, but do go on." Tuka ordered.
"Well it turns out that when Hungary returned our lost lands, due to an administrative oversight they accidentally returned Levice and Veľký Krtíš as well." Malar explained.
"Accidentally?" Tiso queried.
"That was land they stole from us during the Vienna Award. Why would they give it back if they didn't have to?" Malar said.
"Because those two province are utterly dull and pointless, they may well have deliberately handed them over just to get rid of them." Tiso explained.
"Ahh. If it wasn't the map, what was the issue you noticed?" Malar asked.
"What the hell happened to the cabinet!" Tuka yelled. "It's full of Czech traitors!"
Massed spitting resulted, as required by Slovak protocol.
The cabinet of Hlinka and Stefan. It's not a pretty sight is it.
"We are going to have to do something about that." Tiso confirmed. "Summon Gejaz Fritz, we have some new ministers to interview."
--
Notes:
When the game reset the leadership, it also reset the cabinet to the wondrous dream team you see above.
The transfer back of the bit of Slovakia that Hungary occupied did get a bit confused, somehow I got the full region back not just the two provinces they had. As mentioned, they are utterly without resource or industry so Hungary isn't going to miss them.
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I guess Viest being both the Chief of Staff AND the Chief of the Army is a bit awkward after recent events.