Inevitable Defeat - Slovakia '44

[El Pip]

31st August

We return to the Slovakian State Army's Supreme Central High Command Bunker, where the newly returned General Malar has a team trying to hunt down whoever keeps lengthening the building's name. While the war continues, the nation still needs running and Tiso and Tuka are holding a cabinet meeting in the bunker.

"Are we sure there is nothing we can do to increase industrial production? We need more troops." Malar asked.

"We've completely run out of energy reserves and our actual production only allows us to run half of the factory." Pruzinksy explained.

"And we can't get any more coal?"Malar asked Pruzinksy.

"Yes. It would take years to increase our coal production, we're not allowed to import any and even if we did get permission to trade the merchant fleet is in ruins." Pruzinksy explained.

The mighty Slovakian Merchant Marine Fleet in (Very) Dry Dock​

"Why do we even have a merchant fleet? We haven't got a coastline?" Tiso asked.

There was a pause

"We inherited our share of the Czechoslovakian merchant fleet?" Tuka guessed.

"But Czechoslovakia didn't have a coast line either. So why did they have a merchant fleet?" Tiso probed further

There was a longer pause.

Luckily it was broken by the arrival of a messenger with news of the dramatic conclusion of the battle.

"That was suspiciously quick." Intelligence Minister Hans Not-A-German-Bernard said.

"I though the Sub-Civil Total War War War would take much longer." Pruzinksy agreed.

Malar finished reading the message, then interrupted this intellectual discussion.

"It's not from Augustin, it is from General Turanec on the Eastern Front." He explained.

While one of the Malars and Viest clash for the fate of Slovakia, the war in the East continued much as usual.​

"Turanec intends to rally his forces in Putyla and then see where best he can help stabilise the line." Malar explained.

"How can he not know what to do next?" Tiso asked.

"The northern Romanian section of the Eastern Front is a bit confusing." Malar explained, pointing at the map.

Malar is back and so is the Slovak General Staff's Map of Many Things. In tribute to Augustin the font is very Germanic Gothic.​

"We have successfully pocketed a spearhead of the 3rd Ukrainian Front, which is good. However the efforts to create a second pocket, by having a heroic armoured/mechanised charge linked up with Turanec's division, did not go well." Malar pointed out the relevant bits of the map.

"Why is the 10th Panzer division represented by a mechanised counter and the mechanised unit with a tank counter?" Hans Not-A-German-Bernard asked.

There was an awkward silence.

"That's why the attack went wrong isn't it?" Tuka asked. "When those units were loaned to Romania all the tanks were sent to the wrong division and everyone got lost?"

"Maybe." Malar admitted.

--
Slovakia does start with some convoys. I've no idea why. That section of the Eastern Front is a bit messy. Lots of the German army has been sent to Romania as an expeditionary force.

 

[sebas379]

Slovakia still has ships, Eureka! Put some archers on them and sail them up the Volga and the Russians will surrender before you know it. They'll never see that coming!

 

[Giob]

"We've completely run out of energy reserves and our actual production only allows us to run half of the factory." Pruzinksy explained

I...I am actually surprised, and positively for once. Does Slovakia really have enough factories to be able to run out of materials? And most importantly, if they are running half of the factories available it must mean that Slovakia has an IC bigger than 2. That's a lot more than I expected at this point to be honest.

 

[El Pip]

sebas379 - A cunning plan, but sadly I fear Slovakia has not yet invented the technology necessary for archers.

Giob - The brace yourself, for Slovakia actually starts with several factories. It just has no hope of running all of them for any length of time -

Slovak Industry in all it's.... magnificence?​

 

[Gen. Marshall]

Slovak Industry in all it's.... magnificence?​

*gasps*

Fitting that Slovakia would have 13 IC, though.

 

[sebas379]

sebas379 - A cunning plan, but sadly I fear Slovakia has not yet invented the technology necessary for archers.

Bummer. What about slings, perhaps they can throw rocks at the Stalingrad tractor factory in an attempt to disrupt T-34 production? Mostly by having the workforce burst in laughter but it matters not how success is achieved after all.

 

[Giob]

sebas379 - A cunning plan, but sadly I fear Slovakia has not yet invented the technology necessary for archers.

Giob - The brace yourself, for Slovakia actually starts with several factories. It just has no hope of running all of them for any length of time -

Slovak Industry in all it's.... magnificence?​

Holy Slovak Gods! What luxuries, what opulence of industry my eyes have been set upon! But in all seriousness, I haven't checked the puppet coding, are you really not allowed to trade? Not even with Germany? I thought that a puppet could trade at least with its overlord.

 

[Andre Massena]

31st August


"That's why the attack went wrong isn't it?" Tuka asked. "When those units were loaned to Romania all the tanks were sent to the wrong division and everyone got lost?"

"Maybe." Malar admitted.

Literally laughing out loud

 

[El Pip]

Gen. Marshall - Indeed. If I thought the developers had put any thought at all into it I'd be impressed.

sebas379 - That might work. Next February, if Slovakia still exists, when the militia division is finished (unless it is delayed further due to running out of other materials) and if the rusting convoy ships haven't completely rotted away, it will be put forward as the cunning plan.

Giob - As was discussed almost five years ago (Or June 1944 if one is in Slovakia);

Sadly for Slovakia, Germany kept far better control of her puppets than Japan. Not only was Slovakia not allowed to trade with the rest of the Axis, she wasn't even allowed to trade with Germany.​

Andre Massena - Just the sort of reaction I was hoping for. Thanks

 

[Raticon]

Coal for factories? Such nonsense! Everyone knows the entire stockpile of coal has been burned to heat up the massive Slovak supreme central command army staff battle coordination bunker headquarters, and the snake-pit of course.

"All the guards are busy dragging away foul Czech traitors." Augustin explained, as the general staff spat on the floor due to force of habit. "With no guards it was simple to tie the snakes together into a rudimentary rope and use that to climb out.

I am shocked to learn that someone in the aforementioned long name HQ knows about the concept of ropes and how to tie knots. This new revelation will surely be of immense strategic value in the upcoming struggle.

 

[Gen. Marshall]

Coal for factories? Such nonsense! Everyone knows the entire stockpile of coal has been burned to heat up the massive Slovak supreme central command army staff battle coordination bunker headquarters, and the snake-pit of course.

Massive Slovak supreme central command army staff battle coordination bunker headquarters and snake-pit heating coal storage and ignition center?

 

[Raticon]

Massive Slovak supreme central command army staff battle coordination bunker headquarters and snake-pit heating coal storage and ignition center?

Someone should recommend you for a senior position among the Slovak industrial top brass for streamlining those two immensely important functions into one!

You would get a nice uniform and a medal if someone had invented clothesmaking and metalworking, but i assume some animal hides and a piece of rock will do instead.

 

[Athalcor]

The merchant fleet could probably (still far-fetched, though) represent the Danube Section of the Czechoslovakian Naval Forces.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Czechoslovakian_naval_forces

 

[Nathan Madien]

The mighty Slovakian Merchant Marine Fleet in (Very) Dry Dock​

What? No escorts?! Those seven transports are going to be sitting ducks! You need to build escorts pronto!

 

[El Pip]

Raticon - I think that's actually where all the Fuel has gone. Slovakia only had 1 armoured car brigade, which was lost in Italy, but something is still using fuel. I can only assume the General Staff are using it to heat the bunker and snake pit.

Gen. Marshall - You know that would just end in the HQ burning down, with most of the General Staff falling into the snake pit while trying to escape.

Raticon - Well now Slovakia has knowledge of ropes and knots, they can at least tie the bits of animal hide together. They hope to tie the bit of rock to a stick, but that may be a step too far.

Athalcor - As the article says, the only decent ship was taken away by the Germans. But it is better than any other explanation I can think of.

Nathan Madien - That was a silly thing to say, this is Slovakia we are talking about;

Slovakia does, of course, lack the technology to build escorts.​

 

[El Pip]

1st September

We return to SSSSH!, the Slovak State Supreme Service Headquarters, General Malar taking the desperate measure of resorting to acronyms to try and shorten the building's name. Things are no less tense inside as terrible news has arrived.

"I can't bare to even open it." Tiso admitted.

"We have to, it could be vital news." Tuka said firmly.

"But at what price?" Tiso asked.

"Just give it here and I'll do it." Malar said, grabbing the envelope.

He read the message inside aloud to the room.

On this anniversary of war
it's wise to remember the law
Stalin hate to be rational
when he expands the third international
And that is why symbolic interaction will never reveal the true depths of stratified reality.
Janko Jessensky, bringing new meaning to the word cryptic. And new meanings for many other words while he was at it. Possibly.​

"There was also this news." Malar announced.

The history of Sinkiang, also known as Xinjiang, during the 1930s and 40s is incredible and includes such delights as Soviets and White Russians fighting on the same side, many mad mercenary Cossacks, the East Turkestan Republic and lots and lots of mustard gas. None of which will feature in this AAR.​

"I know we say this a lot about Jessensky, but that makes no sense at all." Tuka said. "In fact it makes even less sense than usual." He clarified.

"The Comintern was also known as the Third International. So I think Jessensky is pointing out the problem with Sinkiang joining the Comintern." Intelligence Minister Not-A-German Bernard volunteered.

"And what is the problem?" Tuka asked.

"Stalin had the Comintern dissolved last year." Bernard explained.

"Dissolved, sounds ominous. Was it replaced with the Fourth International?" Tiso said.

"No, Trotsky already founded that before his tragic ice pick accident." Bernard said.

"Then the Fifth International?" Tuka guessed.

"No that would be silly." Bernard replied. "Instead Stalin replaced it with the International Social Organizations Sector of the International Department of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union."

"And that's not silly at all." Tuka said in a daze, while Tiso thought calming, non-hipflask based, thoughts.

--
Notes:
People were asking for Jessensky poetry, I hope they are happy with the terrible consequences of that request.

The Third International/Comintern was dissolved in 1943, it was replaced by that ridiculously named organisation (which was normally called the Cominform for short) as the Fourth International had already been taken. Hilariously the campaign for the Fifth International has already split into bitterly opposed rival factions before the Fifth International even exists. I'm toying with the idea of founding the Sixth International myself just to see what happens.

 

[Andre Massena]

I just watched Waiting for Godot and this AAR has a similar tone.

 

[Athalcor]

I just watched Waiting for Godot and this AAR has a similar tone.

Like...the WW2 is somewhere, just not here . We need to wait a little bit more.

 

[Surt]

Its totally ridiculous that Germany wont part with some coal for some excellent Slovakian manufactured goods ... maybe paradox had the right idea after all ...

 

[El Pip]

Andre Massena - High praise indeed. Well I'm taking it as high praise.

Athalcor - Waiting for Stalin. The 3rd Ukrainian Front can't come today, but it will definitely invade Bratislava tomorrow.

Surt - It is annoying as Germany really isn't short of Coal but does need rares and metal, which Slovakia actually has. The trade system is just spiteful.