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Noel84

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And since we dont have those in europe in the first place i rather doubt that : p
What's this 'Europe' you speak of? I've never heard of that state before.
 

El Pip

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Giob - That is the concern, they've used up all their manpower on dragging away those two people. This may prove to be significant.

Nathan Madien - The old command bunker was indeed a shed. This is the new 'emergency' bunker that is fully equipped for fighting important enemies, like the Czech, and couldn't be wasted on something as unimportant as WW2.

SirNoelRules / sebas379 - Ahh Trans-Atlantic banter, were would we be without it?
 

Nathan Madien

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That would require Slovakia to develop the technology known as "Wal-Mart".

I think Slovakia should develop that tech. No one would march on Bratislava because they would be too busy saving money at Wal-Mart. Plus the Wal-Mart tech would generate jobs, eliminating the potential for any uprisings because everybody is busy working. It's a win-win tech for T&T...pity they don't have the time to develop it.
 

Noel84

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29th August 1944

El Pip

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Still the 29th of August. It was a very busy time.

In the now considerably emptier Slovakian Grand Central High Command Bunker, Tiso & Tuka were not asking about why the name of the building keeps getting longer. But maybe they should have been? Instead they were distracted by the trivial matter of Civil War.

"What's the plan for defeating the traitor Viest then?" Tiso asked the ragged remnants of the General Staff.

Lacking the leadership ability to stupidly misinterpret the request, a junior office hands over the latest Staff estimate of the troops required for final victory.

l4MeQd5.jpg

To remind you, Slovakia still has no concept of powered flight. And the only two divisions left in the army are hundreds of miles away. Truly the AI has embraced the Slovak spirit.

Realising he couldn't hit the hipflask so early, not after last time, Tiso left Tuka to yell and summoned the cabinet, hoping against hope that they had a better plan.

Slightly later, when the cabinet had assembled, the Armaments Minister was discussing the status of the massed fire, smoke and steam factories of the nation.

"To fight the Sub-Total Civil Total War War we will need more troops and luckily we have some in training." Pruzinksy announced.

"Actual real troops?" Tuka checked.

"A new division of Border Guards." Pruzinsky confirmed.

N4QjxCD.jpg

The actual Hranicni oblast were the Czechoslovakian Army's Border Troops. So naturally the Slovaks would build them as militia, another triumph of Paradox's famed research skills and legendary attention to detail.

"And when will they be trained and equipped?" Tiso asked.

Pruzinsky pushed beads around his abacus, his lips moving as he did the complex calculation.

"Februrary 1945. Ish." He announced.

"So a bit late for the current conflict?" Tiso sighed.

"If you wanted to be negative about it, I suppose you could say that." Pruzinsky looked hurt.

"Shouldn't they be a division of our actual militia, the Hlinka Guard, not border troops?" Tuka asked suspiciously.

Pruzinksy removed his monocle and looked slightly embarrassed.

"Probably. But we had all the old border guard uniforms left over and the paperwork was still in place, and you know how hard it is to change military names." He admitted.

Everyone turned to look at the Minister for Justice.

"Article 74 of the Constitution is very clear on this, we can't go around renaming troops just because thire name makes no sense. Standards must be as firm as an anti-slip bonded woven Wilton!" Gejaz Fritz declared.

No-one could argue with this, because no-one understood it.

---
Slovakia is on minimal training (-10% build time) and that militia started construction in June. I still maintain the ultimate HOI3 gameplay challenge is nothing to do with world conquest but is actually 'Building anything with Slovakia before being annexed.'
 
Last edited:

sebas379

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Everyone knows that Slovakian small arms are a work of art. Each [strike]gun[/strike] spear hand crafted individually for the soldier in question with 14,38-months-old wood from the lower-Slovak pine tree and outfitted with a tip of splendid Carpathian rock carried to Bratislava by the Donau itself. This process cannot be rushed for such trivialities as war.
I would advice Tiso and Tuka to do another purge of high command because I fear it has yet again been infiltrated by filthy Czechs.
 

VonMudra

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This AAR continues to stand out as living proof to me of the, ahem...expediences...taken by Paradox in designing the IC system...and weighting it heavily towards Germany.
 

Athalcor

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El Pip

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sebas379 - It is tragic how badly Slovakia has regressed. I was originally pitching for early Victorian tech, sadly they are now down to sharpened sticks and mud.

Extra purges of the high command are always a good idea, may help ingratiate T&T with the incoming Soviets.

VonMudra - Certainly they took a very different approach to the HOI system than any of their other games.

Athalcor - So not only are the names wrong for Slovakia they are also wrong for the Czechs? It's even more impressively wrong than I first thought. Border Area First could also be an instruction. Or maybe a warning. Certainly an odd name for a military unit.
 

Nathan Madien

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Border Area First could also be an instruction. Or maybe a warning. Certainly an odd name for a military unit.

Kinda like instructions on a shampoo bottle? :p

"Defend border area first. Repeat."
 

Giob

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Border Area First could also be an instruction

Hiding the order for a unit in the unit's name? That's quite...interesting actually. Or at least that's the most secretive approach to the art of giving instruction the Axis has shown so far.
 

El Pip

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Nathan Madien - It makes more sense than any other option.

Giob - Also it will ensure the divisions don't forget what they are supposed to be doing and wander of to a different part of the war. All in all it's an approach the Axis should definitely consider adopting.

But enough of that, back to Bratislava where we will finally reach the End of the Beginning of the Civil War.
 
29th to 30th August 1944 - The End of the Beginning Edition Update

El Pip

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It must stop being the 29th of August at some point. Surely?

Deep in the heart of the Slovak Republic Army's Supreme Central Command Bunker the staff are spending most of their time writing down the ever increasing name of the HQ instead of doing work. This is probably for the best. Meanwhile Tiso and Tuka have got a civil war to fight and are discussing quite how to attempt this.

"So the only force available to resist Veist is the Slovak HQ in Preividza?" Tiso asked.

The assembled staff officers nodded.

"And we only send the best and brightest officers here to Bratislava, so the ones out in the HQ are the B-Team?" Tuka asked.

The staff looked smug while nodding.

Tiso and Tuka exchanged a glance of shear horror.

"To win a battle with such troops we will need a hero, the greatest general Slovakia has ever produced." Tiso concluded.

"But General Turanec is hundreds of miles away fighting the Soviets." Tuka pointed out.

"There is another, summon General Svoboda." Tiso ordered.

emoPYtF.png

General Ludvík Svoboda, the greatest general in all of Slovakia. That is a much more impressive achievement than it sounds.

Tuka looked at Mach, sighed and nodded.

"No. Guards, arrest General Svoboda and then drag him away." He said sadly, spitting on the floor.

"Wha.." Tiso started, then realisation dawned. "He's a Czech traitor isn't he?" He asked.

Mach nodded. The Staff spat on the floor in disgust at yet another Czech traitor.

"Well we're doomed then." Tiso said.

The gloom is interrupted by the main doors being smashed off their hinges and flying into the room. Two familiar figures, covered in snake bites and pencil wounds, enter the room.

"Malars!" Tiso and Tuka shouted in unison.

"Indeed, we have returned in Slovakia's hour of need." Gustav Malar said.

"But how did you escape the pencil studded, snake filled fighting pit?" Tiso asked a question that no-one else in history has ever had to ask.

"All the guards are busy dragging away foul Czech traitors." Augustin explained, as the general staff spat on the floor due to force of habit. "With no guards it was simple to tie the snakes together into a rudimentary rope and use that to climb out.

"And now, working together, the Malar twins are back to save Slovakia." Gustav stated.

TGlfEWz.jpg

Years of fighting on the Eastern Front mean Augustin actually knows what a Tank is, making him one of the finest and most advanced military theorists in all of Slovakia.

"Brother, go to Preividza and begin the fight." Gustav continued. "I will stay in Bratislava and rally the staff for the fights yet to come."

Malar nodded, saluted T&T and left the bunker.

Surprised, and relieved, to actually have a functioning command again Tiso asked about the grand Malar plan.

"We will fight Viest in Zlate Moravce, before he has a chance to begin his march on Bratislava." Malar explained.

Tiso looked at the map again.

"So he's not based in the Forest Fortress of Banska Bystrica?" Tiso asked.

"Surprisingly not." Malar said. "He picked an entirely unfortified, dull, bit of plain next door instead. A foolish and inexplicable mistake."

Tiso's spirits rose, you could take the Officer out of the Slovak General Staff, but you could never take the Slovak General Staff out of the Officer. They may yet have a chance.

30th August. At last!

KMPlVSx.jpg

It begins.

---
And people thought this was just badly strung together jokes about bad research, poetry and AI mistakes. They were probably right.

When the game generated the rebel Czech HQ it did so in the pointless province, not the one with a fort in. The rebel Czech capital is in Banska Bystrica, the HQ was named Banska Bystrica, but the unit was actually located in the dull province next door. The AI has clearly been infected by T&T.

Svoboda was a Czech communistical leaning general of such fanaticism he became Puppet President of Czechoslovakia in the late 1960s/early 1970s so, obviously, spent WW2 fighting against the Germans and Slovaks. He was also the only 3 skill general available to Slovakia, so I just knew research would reveal him to be Czech.
 
Last edited:

Giob

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Does "Armour Practical Decay -25%" in this case mean that the eventual Slovaks tanks will biodegrade more slowly and possibly not dissolve under the rain? Otherwise, a fight between HQs, brillant. I envision it like a duel of old times, with officers marching towards opposite points before turning suddenly and trying to fire at their opposite, only to remember that the Slovak nation does not have the tecnology to employ portable firearms, with the exception of the loaned guns they dispensed to their troops abroad.
 
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sebas379

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August 29th is over! The advancing of time has reached Slovakia at last!
Considering the fact that, especially British, officers in the World Wars ae known to have still carried swords, such a duel between HQ's would be remarkably plausible especially in the world of Tiso and Tuka. I can't wait to see what you make of the HQ actually entering battle :p
 

Athalcor

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Another meaningless piece of information - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_the_Dukla_Pass

It kind of represents the interaction between Slovakia and Gen. Svoboda during the WW2 :D.

Also:
- 'Svoboda' means 'Freedom' in Czech, the Slovak term is 'Sloboda'. Super different, right?
- the picture of Svoboda in your post shows him like super old, looks like some photo from 70s or sth like that
 

Kurt_Steiner

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This government needs a Slovakian versión of Lord Halifax XD
 

El Pip

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Giob - I think it means armour as in chain mail armour, Malar teaches them techniques to make it rust slower. This would be useful if Slovakia had the technology to smelt metal. Or indeed if it even knew the secret of Man's Red Flower.

sebas379 - Someone noticed the dates! I always wonder if people do notice these things that I drag out from update to update, so it's lovely when someone says they have.

The HQ duel will be epic, by the standards of small and impoverished Eastern European microstates.

Athalcor - Those small linguistic differences are, to T&T, more than enough to justify unending spit based disgust. And a fine link to warn anyone about the dangers of relying on Stalin to help you with an uprising.

Sadly it's watermarked, but this is a wonderful photo of a younger General Svoboda Hiding in a tree. I considered trying to work it in somehow but decided I needed to actually progress the plot somewhat.

Kurt_Steiner - A phrase no-one has ever said before and probably never will again.

Surt - It's just the effect of the snake bites and pencil wounds.
ja_zps42369c2d.gif


Andre Massena - It is the Slovakian way.