29th August
We begin not in the dark heart of Bratislava, but in the nondescript and frankly dull town of Zlate Moravce. There, amongst the bricks and sinks that made the town utterly unheard of even by other Slovakians, a dramatic speech was reaching it's climax.
"For too long has Slovakia suffered under the cruel hardship of independence, condemned to run it's own affairs instead of having competent leadership imposed on it. That ends this day! For today we will remove the heavy burden of self determination from Slovakia and restore the righteous yoke of Czech control! Today we start the fight to restore Czechoslovakia!" The speaker roared.
The crowd did not go wild. The speaker looked a bit confused at this.
"Any questions?" He asked.
"We can probably take over Slovakia and no-one would care. But aren't the Germans likely to notice when we try and un-annex the bits they are occupying?" A member of the crowd asked.
"They might, but we shall be assisted by the might of the Soviet army. They will help us liberate our country!" The speaker re-assured the crowd.
"So we're trading half the country being free, for the entire country being run by Stalin?" Someone else clarified.
"It will be a united Czechoslovakia!"
"But run by Stalin. Are we sure this is actually an improvement?"
"Well it's too late now, we've ordered the outfits and hats so we're doing this uprising." The speaker instructed.
It begins! The much threatened Slovak National Uprising. An uprising that contained a surprising number of Czechs and not much in the way of Slovakians.
Shortly later, back in the dark heart of Bratislava, T&T are "catching up on vital affairs of state". They are awoken from their drunken slumber by the door bursting inwards.
"What have I told you messengers about bursting into doors with knocking?" Tuka threatened.
"I am no ordinary messenger." The mysterious figure replied.
Tiso looked up and tried to focus.
"No, it can't be." He mumbled, unable to believe what his eyes were telling him.
"Yes, it is I. Messenger 13!" The figure confirmed.
"The forbidden messenger!" Tuka said in tones of hushed awe.
"Indeed. And you are required in the Grand Command Complex." And with that the messenger vanished in a blur of smashing doors, leaving only a beautiful hand sketched map.
Tiso and Tuka followed the directions, taking them to a lavishly equipped command centre a world away from the usual command shed. Cutting straight to the irrelevance of the issue, Tuka began shouting.
"General! Why on earth do we keep meeting in that damned shed if we have a proper command centre?" He yelled.
"We wanted to save it for special occasions." General Catlos replied.
"And being involved in an existential world spanning conflict wasn't special enough?! What on earth was?"
"The Czechs!" Catlos replied, spitting on the floor.
There was a brief pause, due to an outbreak of disgusted spitting.
"The foul betrayer Viest is leading an uprising of traitors against us. He has raised a rag tag army and intends to march on Bratislava." Catlos
"General Viest? A traitor? But why?" Tuka asked.
"Because he was Czech!" Catlos explained, prompting another round of disgusted spitting on the floor.
Tiso and Tuka are stunned into silence, eventually Tiso finds his voice.
"Is it just Viest? Or do we have other Czech traitors hiding in our ranks?" He asked.
"We checked and the General Staff have prepared this briefing on the cabinet." Catlos replied.
Can you tell General Catlos was the lead author behind this report?
With their elite team checked and ready for the fight, Tiso and Tuka must now face their greatest foe: Civil War!
--
As promised, a semi-realistic Slovak National Uprising. How will T&T cope? Apart from badly obviously.
