Inevitable Defeat - Slovakia '44

[Nathan Madien]

I love your work El pip and I'll definitely follow this AAR.
I'm affraid it will be short however ! No voodoo trick will save you from the Red Army's wrath this time

Maybe Slovakia will get lucky and not know what the meaning of the word "wrath" is. What you don't know won't hurt you, right?

 

[Stuyvesant]

It seems the Slovaks have inherited their army from one of the finest fighting machines ever known in history: the WWI Austro-Hungarian army... Too bad they have lost the knowledge to properly replicate those awesome formations.

 

[unmerged(227184)]

I have to say this has got to be the funniest AAR I've ever read.

Also! I've nominated you for Character Writer of the Week!

 

[loki100]

It seems the Slovaks have inherited their army from one of the finest fighting machines ever known in history: the WWI Austro-Hungarian army... Too bad they have lost the knowledge to properly replicate those awesome formations.

obviously when the country split the Czechs rather maliciously hid all that secret knowledge about gunpowder and stuff

& congrats on the award

 

[Hallongren]

obviously when the country split the Czechs rather maliciously hid all that secret knowledge about gunpowder and stuff

& congrats on the award

Damn those Czechs, they must've sent everything to Britain right before the germans entered Prague.

 

[El Pip]

eqqman - But does Slovakia have any libraries?

Kurt_Steiner - While I can't say for certain, I imagine similar diabolical liberties are being taken with Slovakia's position. It was one of the things that attracted me. That and actually doing an AAR where the player loses.

Baltasar - To be fair how many people play as doomed German puppets? I may well have been the first person to have ever loaded up Slovakia for a 1944 start...

Nathan Madien - Sounds a lot like Militia. Slovakia already has that, not very advanced militia admittedly but they have it.

Stuyvesant - Right now I'd take the WW1 A-H army for Slovakia. Not only would it be larger it would probably be higher tech as well!

Archam - There's always the chance of the Allies invading Slovakia first, but yeah it doesn't look good does it?

Nathan Madien - If that were the case then Slovakia is practically invincible to everything bar pointy sticks!

bananafishtoday - Wow! Thanks for both the compliment and the award. I'll have to head over there and collect it, and update the old sig as well.

loki100 - I will leave such speculation until we get to the Ministry of Technology itself.

Hallongren - Could be, could be.

 

[El Pip]

23rd June 1944

Tiso and Tuka decided it's best to leave, but sadly Tiso's politeness made him ask if there is anything else before they go.

"Actually there is one thing you could help with." Pruzinksy replied.

"What's that?" Tiso asked as Tuka cursed him under his breath.

"It's this part of the report from the General Staff where they are asking for three squadrons of 'tactical bombers', we're not really sure what on earth they are talking about."

Seeing the blank look on Tiso's face, the Minister continued.

"Tactical we are taking to mean shorter ranged and applicable to the battlefield and of course we understand squadron from the cavalry and so on. We're just not sure about what they mean by 'bombers', we think it must be referring to the use of hand grenades like a traditional grenadier unit. Thus we think the army is asking for a squadron of tall, strong men mounted on horseback and armed with short ranged grenades, but could you just check."

Tiso and Tuka were left open mouthed at the shear lateral thinking genius of their Armaments Minister. Tiso was the first to recover and break the silence.

"Do you not think it could perhaps be referring to aircraft, a squadron of medium range bomber aircraft?"

"Military flying machines?!" Pruzinksy retorted. "What a ridiculous idea, those Montgolfier brothers are mere frauds and charlatans, there can be no military applications for their balloons!"

One engine or two it makes no difference, Slovakia doesn't understand either.​

 

[Kurt_Steiner]

In teh end, it would be a good thing for Slovakia to be conquered by the Soviet Army...

 

[Nathan Madien]

One engine or two it makes no difference, Slovakia doesn't understand either.​

:rofl:

That was great, El Pip! Pure genius! You really do deserve your recent reward!

 

[Archam]

Let me guess, the Slovakians don't really grasp the concept of "roads" either do they ? I bet you can't even build infrastuctures.

 

[Stuyvesant]

You'd almost think the Slovaks might stand one tiny chance, what with their invincible ignorance of anything reeking of the twentieth century. You could almost wonder if they'd be equally oblivious to being conquered, so that they'd just carry on as before, regardless of what troops are occupying their country. But then you remember it's the Soviets who are coming for them and that they probably have just the heavy-handed approach to persuasion that will make it through to the impenetrable Slovak mind.

 

[El Pip]

Kurt_Steiner - Maybe, but surely a better thing to be conquered by the West?

Nathan Madien - Thank you kindly!

Archam - How ever did you guess?

Stuyvesant - I suppose one advantage the Slovaks might have is that Marxism is a cutting edge ideology as far they are concerned, so they'll probably have a better grasp of it than the Soviets. Then again pointing out to Stalinist quite how far they've strayed from Marx's ideas probably isn't a long term survival strategy!

 

[El Pip]

24th June 1944

Having taken a day off to recover from their exposure to Pruzinksy, Tiso and Tuka are discussing their plans.

"The next step is the Ministry of Technology, hopefully we can get to the bottom of why our scientists and engineers stopped learning when Queen Victoria died." Tuka said.

"No, I think there is something more important we must do first." Tiso replied. "We have to go and speak to the military, if they think we need six million men to defend ourselves the problems must be very serious indeed."

Tiso and Tuka entered the Ministry of Defence and started to look around.

"You know this room only looks about 70% full, do you think that's significant in some way?" Tiso asked.

"Unlikely." Tuka said.

Tuka may have been unintentionally correct. Given the technology, manpower and doctrines available, what difference a complete officer corps would have made is not exactly clear.​

General Gustav Malar, Chief of the General Staff, approached.

"Mr President, welcome to the ministry You are here for the service by service review?"

"Service by service!" Tuka exploded. "We're a land locked country and our best scientists think manned flight is a flash in the pan! We're not going to have any other services apart from the Army are we?"

"You would think so wouldn't you?" Malar replied.

 

[NapoleonComple]

It could be worse. At least they have some officers.

 

[Kurt_Steiner]

It could be worse. I guess. Don't ask me how.

 

[loki100]

being a deranged optimist, I think that last line is but a hint that Slovakia will be saved - even if only as offering 'services' to other countries. Sort of like a valet parking and tank dry-cleaning service for those who arrive by T-34?

 

[Nathan Madien]

Of course, Slovakia probably has a navy minister for absolutely no reason at all.

 

[Archam]

Heyyy ! Cheer up you have no dissent !

 

[Baltasar]

Of course, Slovakia probably has a navy minister for absolutely no reason at all.

Strangely enough, land locked countries can have that, although their navy probably only concerns ferries...

 

[eqqman]

Of course, Slovakia probably has a navy minister for absolutely no reason at all.

*Somebody* has to be able to report that nothing is happening!

Although in reality, it isn't a stretch for even land-locked countries to have Navies & Navy Ministers, unless they also have no navigable rivers.