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Gen. Marshall

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Weren't you the one whose signature once ran "Swedish Abomination cannot make proper games" or something along those lines?

You have a sharp memory :D

That line was from the thread "Change two words" in the off-topic forum, where you change two words from the last posted sentence. It seemed so fitting for this site ;)
 

El Pip

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Gen. Marshall - Certainly it would be hilarious seeing him running Sweden.

Athalcor - It's certainly very hard to kill.

Willum - Multiple updates in a week is a shocking deviation from my usual form, I expect many people have been caught by surprise. Hans was trained by the best in German intelligence, of course he is a terrible spy.

VladVirgil96 - Welcome aboard.

Gen. Marshall (again) - A turtle? I think I'll take that.
 
12th August 1944

El Pip

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12th August

Having taken a few days to recover from the shock of not being the most useless German puppet, and in Tuka's case to have a therapeutic yell at the Foreign Ministry for wasting their time with news about Sweden, Tiso and Tuka are once again in the General Staff HQ for an update on the war.

Gathering the cabinet and military staff together Tuka started the meeting.

"Any good news?" Tuka asked, keen to get that formality out of the way. To his surprise though, someone spoke up.

"Yes, I have some good news." Pruzinksy said.

This should have been a monocle popping out in surprise moment, alas only Pruzinksy wore one and he wasn't surprised by his own news. This was in itself rather surprising, but we will stop here to avoid excessive recursion.

"Due to recent events we have managed to reduce the amount of industry we must devote to supply manufacture by 25%, slightly delaying the day when we completely run out of supplies for the army." Pruzinksy said.

Suspecting there was a hideous black lining to this silver(ish) cloud, Tiso and Tuka decided not to be pleased and instead moved on.

"Very well. Any other important news?" Tiso asked.

"The Allies have simplified our command structure in Italy." General Catlos said, enigmatically.

"Did we want our command structure simplified?" Tiso said

"Probably not." Catlos said.

"So we are going to reverse this simplification?" Tiso questioned.

"No, I don't think we can." Catlos admitted.

As the conversation veered towards angry questioning Tuka took over from Tiso. "Why not?" he asked loudly, having learnt to reserve his yelling for when he would inevitably need it later.

"Because we would need a new Mobile HQ unit and I don't think we can afford one." General Viest, head of the army confessed.

"So in fact your news should have been that the Slovak Combat Group Headquarters in Italy was destroyed!" Tuka yelled.

"Well if you want to focus on the negatives, then yes you could describe it that way." Catlos replied.

"The negatives?! What possible good can come of this?" Tuka risked increasing his volume a few decibels.

"Well as Pruzinksy said it's a big saving on supplies. And General Turanec is now available to work full time as Head of the Navy." General Viest tried to defend Catlos' optimism.

"And that's the up side is it?" Tuka shouted his question.

"Of course not." Catlos replied, looking hurt. "That is." he continued, pointing towards the ceiling.

Everyone craned their necks to look up towards the roof. There was an awkward silence. Tiso, manfully resisting the call of his hip flask, broke the silence.

"And where is this additional good news?" He asked.

"Good news?" Catlos said. "There isn't any, I thought you were asking me where the up side of the room is, so I pointed at it."

As Tuka started yelling and cursing the thrice damned literalness of the General Staff, Tiso, feeling both relieved that things were back to normal and depressed at how bad normal was, finally gave in and found solace in his hip flask.

--
Note: The Slovak Combat Group was bombed to death in Italy while retreating. This could be described as leaving early to avoid the rush.
 

sebas379

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RIP Slovak Combat Group. Surely now the Axis position in Italy has become untenable. Or it improved, thats actually more likely. But at least general Catlos can still see the bright side of things, thats something.
 

Stuyvesant

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I now see how A)
"Due to recent events we have managed to reduce the amount of industry we must devote to supply manufacture by 25%, slightly delaying the day when we completely run out of supplies for the army." Pruzinksy said.

Is related to B)
"The Allies have simplified our command structure in Italy." General Catlos said, enigmatically.

And may I congratulate General Catlos on the use of that lovely turn of phrase. If the general somehow comes out of this war unscathed (and in a capitalist country), he should definitely make a living as a business consultant. That kind of forward-looking, synergistic prose is invaluable in the many restructurings that are sure to follow once the world retools to reap its peace dividends.

Note: The Slovak Combat Group was bombed to death in Italy while retreating. This could be described as leaving early to avoid the rush.
Ah, good old Terry Pratchett. He will be missed. :)

[QUOTE="sebas379, post: 19836972, member: 520494"But at least general Catlos can still see the bright side of things, thats something.[/QUOTE] This makes me wonder if the ceiling is, in fact, painted a lighter shade than the rest of the room. Assuming Slovakia can spare the paint to begin with.
 

El Pip

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sebas379 - The Italian front has lower standards than other parts of the war, so the Slovak Combat Group will be missed. That alone should tell you how bad the Axis position in Italy is!

SFSLovenought - This AAR cannot be killed with conventional weapons.

Stuyvesant - General Catlos is a man of many talents. None of them any use in a military situation. I've also been assuming that due to superior Slovak construction techniques there are several large holes in the roof.
 
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14th August 1944 - Magnificent HQ Photo Edition

El Pip

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14th August

In accordance with his priestly training Tiso declined to do any government business on Sunday if at all possible. While he was a little hazy on some bits of his training, he was never sure if he was supposed to covet or falsely witness graven images, he did remember the importance of having a day off. In contrast Tuka just enjoyed giving his vocal chords a rest. Alas it was soon Monday and they were back in Bratislava.

Looking around the room Tiso noticed the ominous sight of a map board, resolving to get the horror over and done with he started on military matters.

"With the Slovak Combat Group HQ destroyed what is the situation in Italy?" He asked.

"Ordinarily the 1st Division (Original and Best) would rally at the fallback position and try to hold the line there." Catlos said.

"Ordinarily?" Tuka queried.

"There is the minor issue that Montalcino was the designated fallback position and we just lost control of it. Our HQ never got a chance to designate a new fallback position before it was destroyed." Viest explained.

"So what are the default orders if there is no fallback position?" Tiso asked.

"Panic?" Catlos suggested.

At this point several of the Slovak General Staff junior officers, believing this was an order, began running in little circles around the bunker while waving their hands in the air and shouting. After they are eventually calmed down and led back to their desks, the meeting continues.

"Why is it we can't afford a new HQ?" Tiso asked. "Is it the manpower?"

All eyes turned to Armaments Minister Pruzinksy who, for reasons that probably made no sense at all, was responsible for the census and marshalling Slovakia's manpower.

"Well we still haven't completed the census." Pruzinksy started.

Tuka muttered under his breath about useless fire and steam producing machines.

"However I am fairly confident that, given the current rate of enthusiastic volunteers being forcibly collected by our recruting parties, we could fully staff a new HQ in a few months." He finished.

"So it's an equipment problem?" Tuka asked.

"Basically yes." General Catlos confirmed.

"We got the list from the Slovak General Staff and it's quite extensive - the white tents, maps, rickety tables, parking spaces for horses, it all adds up." Pruzinksy said.

pUmStfd.jpg

The Slovak General Staff's idea of a modern and fully equipped mobile head quarters unit. While the furry hats were optional, the moustaches were compulsory and those who couldn't grow a proper facial hair were made to wear different coloured uniforms and carry large trays of shame.

Deciding that the Slovak Army could probably manage without a Napoleonic tent full of outdated maps, Tiso and Tuka decided to agree with the General Staff and not order a new HQ unit be formed.

---
Note: Slovakia actually has some manpower reserves and gets a whole 0.5MP a month. It just lacks the technological or industrial base to do anything useful with that manpower.

While that obviously isn't a real Slovak HQ it is still a magnificently appropriate picture.
 
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SFSLovenought

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I just found some research that you might be interested in. This is what the Steel Panthers WW2 manual has to say about the Slovak Republic:

April 1939 - October 1943

This OOB covers the Slovakian army from it's inception in 1939 to October 1943 when it fought it's last real battles

On September 29, 1938 the Munich Agreement was signed by Germany, Italy, France, and Britain. The Czechoslovak government capitulated September 30 and agreed to abide by the agreement. On March 14, 1939, Slovakia declared its independence, calling itself the Slovak Republic.

Slovakia was the only Axis-Allied Nation to take part in the campaign against Poland. The German OHW requested the assitance of Slovakia for the German invasion of Poland in September of 1939. Although the Slovakian military was only six months old, two combat groups were created for the campaign in Poland. The first group was a brigade sized formation that consisted of six infantry battalions, two artillery battalions, and a company of combat engineers. The second group was a mobile formation that consisted of two battalions of combined cavalry and motorcycle recon troops along with nine motorised artillery batteries. The two combat groups saw fighting in the region of southern Poland.

Slovakia sent the Slovakian Expeditionary Army Group forward against the Russians four days after the Germans invaded Russia but the Slovak forces fell behind the massive German sweep across the Soviet Union mainly because of a general lack of mobile forces able to transport the 45,000 stong Slovak Army Group along side the German advance. As a result of the inability of the Slovak Army Group to keep up with the German advance, a mobile unit was created in July 1941 that would be capable of doing so. This was done by forming all the mototised units of the former Slovak Army Group into a single formation termed the Slovak Mobile Command, otherwise known as Brigade Pilfousek. This force consisted of a Motorised Infantry battalion, a tank battalion consisting of two tank companies, two Anti-Tank companies, a Weapons company, motorcycle company and a Motorised Engineer platoon

The Slovakian army underwent further re-organization in the months after the Invasion of Russia. At the begining of August, 1941, the Slovak Army Group was pulled out of the lines to form two new units that would be better suited to the actions they would be taking part in. The best units of the former Slovak Army Group were now organised into two new divisions, the 1st Slovak (Mobile) Infantry Division (aka "Slovak Fast Division") and the 2nd Slovak (Security) Infantry Division. By the middle of September, 1941, the 1st Slovak (Mobile) Division was back at the front, this time near Kiev. After the fall of Kiev the Slovak Mobile Division was transfered to the reserves of Army Group South. In October the Mobile Division was a part of the 1.Panzer-Armee fighting on the eastern side of Dnieper River near the region of Golubowka and Pereshchino and later was involved in fighting around Maripol and Taganrog. During the winter of 1941-42 it held positions on the Mius River. In 1942 the Mobile Division took part in the German advance into the Caucasus Region where it played a vital role in the assault and capture of the vital Soviet city of Rostov.

After Stalingrad in the Winter of 1942/1943 the 1st Slovak (Mobile) Infantry Division was pulled back from the Caucasus region the Mobile Division was nearly encircled and trapped near Saratowskaya, but managed to escape. Remaining elements of the Mobile Division were airlifted out of the Kuban, but were forced to leave behind all their heavy equipment and weapons. The remaining units of Mobile Division was used to help cover the retreat of over the Sivash and Perkop land bridges. Finally, in the area around Melitopol, the Mobile Division was caught by a massive Soviet suprise attack that broke through the German lines and the Mobile Division was routed and over 2000 men were taken captive by the Soviets. Routed and destroyed, the Mobile Division was then pulled from the lines. Soon after, on November 1st, 1943, as a result of continued problems with desertion in the unit, the 2nd Slovak (Security) Infantry Division was disarmed and transfered to Ravenna, Italy to act as a construction brigade.

This ends the time period covered by the game. The last major combat action of the Slovak forces was the battle for Melitopol in the Ukraine in October 1943 and that is where we have ended this OOB. A new Mobile Division was created in the early part of 1944 but it was only a shadow of the former unit. The new formation was dubbed the "Tartarko Combat Group" , but it only had 12 officers, 13 NCOs, and 775 men and was sent to the region of the Crimea for defensive operations while the remainder of the Mobile Division was used in security operations behind the lines of Army Group South. in June of 1944, the Division was pulled from the lines a final time and disarmed. The remaining troops were formed into a construction brigade as a result of its continued unreliability in combat.
 
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Willum

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The furry hats may be optional, but who in their right or wrong mind would ever decline such magnificent headgear? Indeed, any who turned it down must be either mad beyond comprehension or a Czech.

What is the First Division up to, by the way?
 

Clio

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Truly, Slovakia has no equal. Yes...that was a euphemism. Anyways, I would suggest declaring full independence, renouncing German protection, and trying to join the allies. Maybe they won't give you back to the Czechs after the war?
 

El Pip

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Stuyvesant - I must admit I was pleased with it.

SFSLovenought -
That was pretty much my understanding of things, but nice to have another source to confirm the Slovak Army had functionally ceased to exist by mid-1944. I suppose that means I should be grateful for having a whole 3 divisions as that's a lot more than Slovakia should have at this point.

Willum - They are spectacular hats. Alas I'm not sure Slovakia has the fur to waste on such luxuries.

1st Division (Original and Best) is panicking it's way around central Italy allegedly holding the OTL Gothic Line.
1st Division (East) is heading towards South Eastern Romania to participate in Operation Geschwindigkeitsbeschränkungen. It will be making it's AAR reappearance in a few updates time when it actually arrives.

Clio - Alas the Czech governments in exile will be amazingly vocal

El Pip Voting Opportunity
As this AAR has mod approval for voting I've decided to throw open the upcoming Slovak National Uprising (lack of) event to reader input. In keeping with the care and attention to detail Paradox put into the rest of Slovakia there is, of course, no Slovak National Uprising event in the game. Your options therefore are;
1.) I respect that decision and just carry on as normal until one or both of the Soviets or Allies utterly crush Slovakia
b.) I mod in a semi-realistic (ish) event and we go with that
iii.) I mod in an event in-keeping with the rest of the AAR
4th) Tanks

Voting opens now and continues until the narrative gets close to the 29th of August.

This Mild Interactivity has been approved by Mr.C
 
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megaspider01

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And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS VOTE iii!
 

Clio

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I vote B.
 

Willum

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I think you will find that option iii. and option Tanks is are reality the same, as nothing would fit the tone of this AAR better than the Slovak counter-insurgency forces being so amazingly incompetent that they somehow managed to confiscate the revolters pitchforks and give them state-of-the-art Königstigers instead. Of course, these wouldn't get all that far fuelled only on manure, so it would all turn out all right in the end. In summation, iii. and Tanks have my vote.

Voting opens now and continues until the narrative gets close to the 29th of August.

Does this mean that, optimistically estimated, voting will close in three years?
 
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