AI lands paratroopers only under TFH? I think El Pip is playing with SF though.
Slovakians luckily don't need armor advantage in this game
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AI lands paratroopers only under TFH? I think El Pip is playing with SF though.
Slovakians luckily don't need armor advantage in this game
Great update as usual. Don't be so harsh on yourself. .. it's just summer
Willum - Carpet bonding and social realist limericks.
Ikarases - The problem is would anyone notice if Bratislava wasn't empty?
shierholzer - Really? That does explain why I've never seen paratroopers being used.
sebas379 - Given the AI it's perhaps more likely the Soviet armour is garrisoning Mongolia and the Siberian border, but then Slovakia needs every advantage it can get.
red_KLG - Thanks for the nice words.
OK as this tale of incompetence and failure has been placed first in this quarter's AARland Choice Award I thought it only fitting to celebrate by returning to Bratislava!
Ikarases - The problem is would anyone notice if Bratislava wasn't empty?
shierholzer - Really? That does explain why I've never seen paratroopers being used.
sebas379 - Given the AI it's perhaps more likely the Soviet armour is garrisoning Mongolia and the Siberian border, but then Slovakia needs every advantage it can get.
red_KLG - Thanks for the nice words.
OK as this tale of incompetence and failure has been placed first in this quarter's AARland Choice Award I thought it only fitting to celebrate by returning to Bratislava!
8th August 1944
8th August
Tiso & Tuka would have dearly loved to take the weekend off to recover, but alas the Battle of Luck had been lost on a Monday. Cursing this typically Slovakian luck they were back in Army HQ on Tuesday discussing the war effort with General Catlos.
"I'm concerned we're focusing too much on the East." Tiso said.
"A good point." Tuka agreed. "General, what news from the rest of the army?"
Catlos gestured at the General Staff's Big Picture. "It's all up there." He said.
The Slovakian General Staff's 'Big Picture'. It may, or may not, have changed since last time. Frankly given the scale of the thing how would you tell?
Tuka managed to avoid shouting, instead he practised his calming deep breathing exercises. Meanwhile several junior members of the Slovakian General Staff were practising normal breathing, just in case they forgot how to do it.
"Let us assume we've forgotten to bring our microscopes, could you just tell us?" Tiso asked.
"Oh, well the 2nd Division has just crossed the Rhine while in Italy the 1st Division (Original and Best) is recovering from the Battle of Monte Castello." Catlos explained.
Reminding himself he shouldn't start naming divisions after hitting the hip flask, Tiso carried on.
"And what of General Turanec?" He asked.
"The general is leading the Slovak Combat Group as it masterminds the defence of Montalcino." Catlos replied.
The Axis outnumber the enemy four to one, the weather is in their favour and they have proper HQ support. On the other hand the British 78th 'Battleaxe' division was at least as hard as nails, if not harder, and General Briggs does have an outstanding moustache and hat combo while Turanec looks alarmingly like a lost tramp. This battle could be worryingly close.
Re-assured, sort of, that the West and South were secure T&T felt able to turn their attention back to the Eastern Front.
---
Short but.. short. Still I thought I'd better do something to celebrate winning an award, thanks to all who voted and please accept this as a token of my appreciation.
Tiso & Tuka would have dearly loved to take the weekend off to recover, but alas the Battle of Luck had been lost on a Monday. Cursing this typically Slovakian luck they were back in Army HQ on Tuesday discussing the war effort with General Catlos.
"I'm concerned we're focusing too much on the East." Tiso said.
"A good point." Tuka agreed. "General, what news from the rest of the army?"
Catlos gestured at the General Staff's Big Picture. "It's all up there." He said.
The Slovakian General Staff's 'Big Picture'. It may, or may not, have changed since last time. Frankly given the scale of the thing how would you tell?
Tuka managed to avoid shouting, instead he practised his calming deep breathing exercises. Meanwhile several junior members of the Slovakian General Staff were practising normal breathing, just in case they forgot how to do it.
"Let us assume we've forgotten to bring our microscopes, could you just tell us?" Tiso asked.
"Oh, well the 2nd Division has just crossed the Rhine while in Italy the 1st Division (Original and Best) is recovering from the Battle of Monte Castello." Catlos explained.
Reminding himself he shouldn't start naming divisions after hitting the hip flask, Tiso carried on.
"And what of General Turanec?" He asked.
"The general is leading the Slovak Combat Group as it masterminds the defence of Montalcino." Catlos replied.
The Axis outnumber the enemy four to one, the weather is in their favour and they have proper HQ support. On the other hand the British 78th 'Battleaxe' division was at least as hard as nails, if not harder, and General Briggs does have an outstanding moustache and hat combo while Turanec looks alarmingly like a lost tramp. This battle could be worryingly close.
Re-assured, sort of, that the West and South were secure T&T felt able to turn their attention back to the Eastern Front.
---
Short but.. short. Still I thought I'd better do something to celebrate winning an award, thanks to all who voted and please accept this as a token of my appreciation.
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Sure. Until after 3.05 the AI is too stupid to use paratroopers as paratroopers.
On the one hand, breathing unconsciously is something that even new-born babies have mastered, so not something that should prove to be an insurmountable obstacle for the General Staff. On the other hand, this is Tiso and Tuka's Slovakia, which is not known for anything, but if it were known for anything, it would be the stellar levels of incompentence achieved...
"Hard as nails". Been a while since I heard that one. It has a nice, old-fashioned touch to it. And yes, Briggs displays a magnificent combination of facial fuzz and capital sartorial style. It's enough to make one root for the British.
As far as the outcome of that battle is concerned: the Slovakians are deployed in the best possible way to ensure a successful outcome - safely in the rear, where they won't get in the way of the real 20th century soldiers.
I don't know, I think Turanec has a certain air around him, along with some well-placed facial hair, that should do him well in the coming battle. But a great update nonetheless, El Pip! Slovakian generals do have that sense of incompetence which requires them to remember how to breather.
What alarms me is that even with that balance of forces the balance of power still seems to be barely in favour of the Axis.
Did I read that right? Slovakia has microscopes?
I'm even baffled they seem to know of the existence of these odd instruments.
I am sure that it is only Tiso who knows of this, and the rest of the Slovaks have just learned to go with the flow when he uses these outlandish, clearly fictitious words. Otherwise they would get stuck every time he mentioned "inphantrye" or the like.
shierholzer - I shouldn't really be surprised by that sort of AI oversight should I?
Stuyvesant - One should never over-estimate Slovakia.
GreatUberGeek - I must respectfully disagree, Turanec looks much better without his dodgy 'tache - the evidence is clear. However glad you liked it.
NapoleonComple - The Slovak Effect. It's a secret non-displayed combat modifier. Probably.
Nathan Madien / PHN / Willum - I was originally pitching the Slovak tech base somewhere early-Victorian (1830s/40s ish), I know they've regressed since then but surely not back to pre-16th Century levels? If nothing else they must have monocles because I refuse to imagine Pruzinsky without one.
Stuyvesant - One should never over-estimate Slovakia.
GreatUberGeek - I must respectfully disagree, Turanec looks much better without his dodgy 'tache - the evidence is clear. However glad you liked it.
NapoleonComple - The Slovak Effect. It's a secret non-displayed combat modifier. Probably.
Nathan Madien / PHN / Willum - I was originally pitching the Slovak tech base somewhere early-Victorian (1830s/40s ish), I know they've regressed since then but surely not back to pre-16th Century levels? If nothing else they must have monocles because I refuse to imagine Pruzinsky without one.
8th August 1944 - Milinery Edition Update
8th August (Still)
Tiso & Tuka are still in the General Staff HQ, mores the pity. Having reviewed the other fronts their thoughts return to the Eastern Front.
"So how are things on the Eastern Front?" Tiso asked Catlos.
"I'll check with the head of the Army." Catlos replied.
Catlos gestured at one of his senior officers to come over.
"I thought you were head of the Army." Tuka asked.
"Yes I was, but when I replaced the foul traitor Malar.."
The group paused to spit on the floor, more disgustedly than they would for democratic vermin, but not as vigorously as they would at mention of the foul Czechs.
"... I realised I couldn't carry on being double hatted as both CoS and Chief of the Army." Catlos finished.
"Because of the onerous duties of the role?" Tiso asked.
"No of course not."
"It's not like Slovakia has any armed forces beyond the army anyway." Tuka agreed.
"Then why?" Tiso asked again.
"Because I looked ridiculous in two hats." Catlos explained.
General Malar may be gone, no-one has checked the pencil studded, snake filled fighting pit to find out quite what happened, but his legacy of depressing literal mindedness lived on in the Slovak General Staff.
Deciding it just wasn't worth the effort Tiso turned to meet his new Army Head.
"Allow me to introduce General Rudolf Viest, head of the Slovakian Army." Catlos said.
Tiso and Tuka exchanged a glance, Viest seemed strangely familiar but neither of them could place him.
Strangely familiar. Still he's a re-assuring dark grey, making him a loyal member of the punctuation laden and in no way far too long Hlinkova slovenská ľudová strana – Strana slovenskej národnej jednoty.
"So how are things in the East General Viest?" Tiso asked.
"We have prepared a map to explain things." Viest replied.
Bitterly familiar with the Slovak General Staff's unique approach to map making T&T braced themselves for the worst.
---
Genuine photo of General Catlos. That is a mighty impressive wall of medals, though the sash is a nice touch. My favourite part is probably the hand grenade shaped necklace.
The Hlinkova slovenská ľudová strana – Strana slovenskej národnej jednoty was the formal name of Tiso's political patry - Hlinka's Slovak People's Party – Party of Slovak National Unit. Hlinka being the previous leader of the party and sort of national hero. To some people at least. Certainly the pope liked him, granting him any number of high honours, and he had the good sense to die in 1938 so no-one knows if he would have collaborated or gone into heroic exile.
Tiso & Tuka are still in the General Staff HQ, mores the pity. Having reviewed the other fronts their thoughts return to the Eastern Front.
"So how are things on the Eastern Front?" Tiso asked Catlos.
"I'll check with the head of the Army." Catlos replied.
Catlos gestured at one of his senior officers to come over.
"I thought you were head of the Army." Tuka asked.
"Yes I was, but when I replaced the foul traitor Malar.."
The group paused to spit on the floor, more disgustedly than they would for democratic vermin, but not as vigorously as they would at mention of the foul Czechs.
"... I realised I couldn't carry on being double hatted as both CoS and Chief of the Army." Catlos finished.
"Because of the onerous duties of the role?" Tiso asked.
"No of course not."
"It's not like Slovakia has any armed forces beyond the army anyway." Tuka agreed.
"Then why?" Tiso asked again.
"Because I looked ridiculous in two hats." Catlos explained.
General Malar may be gone, no-one has checked the pencil studded, snake filled fighting pit to find out quite what happened, but his legacy of depressing literal mindedness lived on in the Slovak General Staff.
Deciding it just wasn't worth the effort Tiso turned to meet his new Army Head.
"Allow me to introduce General Rudolf Viest, head of the Slovakian Army." Catlos said.
Tiso and Tuka exchanged a glance, Viest seemed strangely familiar but neither of them could place him.
Strangely familiar. Still he's a re-assuring dark grey, making him a loyal member of the punctuation laden and in no way far too long Hlinkova slovenská ľudová strana – Strana slovenskej národnej jednoty.
"So how are things in the East General Viest?" Tiso asked.
"We have prepared a map to explain things." Viest replied.
Bitterly familiar with the Slovak General Staff's unique approach to map making T&T braced themselves for the worst.
---
Genuine photo of General Catlos. That is a mighty impressive wall of medals, though the sash is a nice touch. My favourite part is probably the hand grenade shaped necklace.
The Hlinkova slovenská ľudová strana – Strana slovenskej národnej jednoty was the formal name of Tiso's political patry - Hlinka's Slovak People's Party – Party of Slovak National Unit. Hlinka being the previous leader of the party and sort of national hero. To some people at least. Certainly the pope liked him, granting him any number of high honours, and he had the good sense to die in 1938 so no-one knows if he would have collaborated or gone into heroic exile.
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Very funny, El Pip! So for the picture of Catlos, is the double hat real or fake? For some reason I imagined Catlos looking like Trotsky.
For some reason I imagined Catlos looking like Trotsky.
Very funny, El Pip! So for the picture of Catlos, is the double hat real or fake?
The shades aren't right, so probably Photoshop
Now, Pip, how are we supposed to recognize Viest?
Great photo of general Catlos. Judging by the medals he knows a thing or two about waging war.
Which makes it all the stranger he is in Slovakia. There must be a misunderstanding here.
Which makes it all the stranger he is in Slovakia. There must be a misunderstanding here.
Reading his Wikipedia entry, I suspect Pip is referring to the real-life Viest being a member of the Czechoslovak government-in-exile, no big friend of the Fascist Slovak Cause.
Why would anybody leave Slovakia? Maybe he's here because of the sheer amount of medals. They must be drowning in them.
Maybe he's here because of the sheer amount of medals. They must be drowning in them.