Inevitable Defeat - Slovakia '44

[Ikarases]

I think the future is bright. Slovakian government will move to their new allies' islands of Galapagos, where Tuka won't even need that new bizzare invention he was thinking of while out for a walk.

I call that a win-win!

 

[shierholzer]

I guess the AI just went nuts in South America. Good to see that at least the war happens in the first place I guess.

That's event driven, and the AI just rolls to select an option (modifed by ai_chance) - Ecuador just had really bad luck, while Peru had tons of luck. Colombia probably allied/guaranteed Brazil, got called in - and rolled 'neutral' in the event CtA.

 

[NapoleonComple]

I am never going to quote any obscure national minister from HOI, for fear of stuff like this having happened.

 

[El Pip]

Willum - Not too long, a bit of lateral thinking and liberal use of google translate on foreign wikipedia will get get you the correct name. Once you've got that it's fairly easy.

I think the South American Allies will have crushed Ecuador long before the US gets a chance to redeploy, the OOB says Ecuador has one division, which is only three regiments strong and at zero level tech as well. They probably look enviously at the mighty Slovak Army, things are that bad.

sebas379 - I don't think the Paradox actually put much work into the Götterdämmerung scenario. For instance D-Day is fundamentally broken; the Allies start out of supply and with no port. If they didn't fix that sort of thing then it's hardly surprising South America was ignored.

Belgiumruler - The risk is of course that the madness might be infectious. Besides they are still in the war, so they got there in the end.

Ikarases - The fact Slovakia is land locked and has no air force (and the chief scientist doesn't think manned flight is possible) does suggest there may be a slight logistical issue in actually getting there.

But that aside it's a great plan, certainly better than anything the Slovak General Staff have come up with.

shierholzer - Nothing to do with luck. It's a decision for Peru to demand the territory (which the AI will try to do as soon as it can), once they do Ecuador has a 100% AI chance event to declare war and a 100% AI chance event for Colombia to declare neutrality.

There was a Peru-Ecuador war in 1941 so I can see the thinking (it only lasted a month or so in OTL), but as the US is guaranteeing everyone it should go wrong more often than it does.

NapoleonComple - I can see it would be hard to research the Ecuadorian Army in the 1930s/40s so I can't be too harsh on them, but picking the members of a military Junta from a few decades later is pretty lazy.

However the President/Prime Minister thing is actually worse as they did have the right man, with photo, in the game files, they just didn't use him. As they went to the bother of putting a 1944 specific setup into the game files for Ecuador it's a bit odd how they still got it wrong.

 

[Ikarases]

You're lucky that you at least have the SF expansion. Without it... the ministers would be same :mellow:

But really, it's ridiculous how was HoI 3 broken in the first days and it will never be a properly polished game. They've managed to patch most of the main issues throughout expansions, but Ecuador still got kind of neglected I guess. Now, in TFH, all of their starting ministers have social liberal kind of thinking, but the ruling party is actually paternal autocrat and it's a right-wing republic without elections...

What kind of sorcery is that!?

 

[Surt]

Ecuador is only marginally more important that say Slovakia in '44 and is equally neglected

 

[Ikarases]

Ecuador is only marginally more important that say Slovakia in '44 and is equally neglected

Paradox has even named our president wrongly. When I read it without context, it seems to me like he's a Frenchman or something :mellow:

 

[Stuyvesant]

Hope flared briefly in the peace-loving, neutral-at-heart Slovak nation, but then it was cruelly crushed by the realization that you can't fight (sort of) the Soviets for three years and then declare yourself neutral if things don't go your way. I almost sympathize with our heroic hapless duo.

 

[Nathan Madien]

Man, I love it when El Pip makes fun...I mean highlights Paradox's devotion to details.

 

[El Pip]

Ikarases - In all fairness most of the name mistakes have been in the game since HOI2, why chance a broken formula?

Surt - As with Slovakia I imagine I'm probably the first person to have ever started a game as Ecuador in the 1944 scenario, so probably no-one has noticed until now.

Ikarases - That is impressive. Is it a fat fingered typing mistake, or just completely the wrong name?

Stuyvesant - It's like that in Slovakia, brief moments of hope followed by crushing disappointment.

Nathan Madien - It is a bit of an easy target, but as it's funny I think it's OK.

And now please brace yourself, we are going back to Bratislava for a report on some actual action!

 

[El Pip]

22nd July

It has begun. The mighty Slovak 1st Infantry Division has reached the Italian front (as opposed to the mighty 1st Infantry Division that is already on the front lines of the Eastern Front). Tiso and Tuka are awaiting news from the front.

"So you say this device allows the transmission of a voice over a large distance?" Pruzinksy said, holding up his monocle in order to better study the device on the desk.

After sharing a glance with his fellow leader, Tuka responded.

"Yes. Now could you please step away from the telephone, we are awaiting news." He said.

Monte Castello, a location of such vital importance that historically it was the responsibility of the Brazilian Expeditionary Force to liberate it. It was therefore somewhat fitting that the Slovakia be charged with it's defence this time around.​

31st July

With the Axis forces having held out for almost ten days Tiso and Tuka are beginning to risk getting their hopes up. It's been over a week since Tiso has resorted to hip flask and Tuka's vocal chords are starting to heal.

Suddenly the phone rings, General Catlos picked it up and answered.

"Really? Are you sure? That does sound quite an unfortunate oversight. OK, if you are sure." Catlos said.

After that in no way reassuring conversation, Catlos looked up to the rest of the group.

"Well it appears there was a bit of a mix up. For some reason the Waffen-SS mountain division had become Croatian, and two of the other German infantry divisions had also decided to change into foreign uniforms. As you can imagine that was causing a bit of confusion so they all decided to get changed into proper uniforms." Catlos explained.

"And that's all?" Tiso said, torn between relief and terror that utter incompetence wasn't just confined to Slovakia.

"Well while they were changing that did leave our division alone holding the line." Catlos said.

"Ahh." Tuka said, slumping into his chair.

Do you really need to see a screenshot of how this ends? Because I suspect it goes exactly as you would expect.​

"General Turanec and the Slovak Combat Group our rallying our forces in Montalcino." Catlos said, more in hope than expectation.

--
The Germans appear to have decided to send expeditionary forces to absolutely every Axis member, bar Slovakia of course, which probably isn't doing much for their combat efficiency. But that is the least of their problems. Said units then decided to retreat without telling the Slovaks, which was an unpleasant surprise I must say.

The actual Battle of Monte Castello was the Brazilian Army's baptism of fire (some two and a half years after Brazil entered the war) and it didn't go well for them; the first five bloody assaults all failed. Eventually the US 10th Mountain Division was sent to help them out and the sixth assault succeeded, some three months after the 'battle' started. Sadly for the Slovaks they aren't facing Brazilians.

 

[Ikarases]

Ikarases - In all fairness most of the name mistakes have been in the game since HOI2, why chance a broken formula?

I see what you did there. Again

Ikarases - That is impressive. Is it a fat fingered typing mistake, or just completely the wrong name?

It's a difference between "Édouard" (in-game) and "Edvard" (actual). In Czech, both of these names exist, but "Édouard" is written "Eduard". "Édouard" is a French version of that name.

To sum this up, one has to wonder whether some Frenchman in Paradox "googletranslated" some text together with the name or whether it was... sorcery?

Nevertheless, Wikipedia has his name right. I'm, of course, leaving out our diacritics, as the game is generally able to display some special Swedish letters instead :wacko:

---

Now to comment onto the update: Is that dissent influencing your grand armies or the British?

 

[sebas379]

I presume this can all be explained by a lack of Slovakian radios to communicate with Axis High Command, hence the latter's failing to send the retreat order to the Slovak Comba Group in time?

Or it's a develish (or sensible) plan to sacrifice crack Slovakian infantry in an attempt to buy time for German forces to withdraw.

 

[Surt]

Withdrawal seemed like a good plan!

 

[Stuyvesant]

Once more, the Slovaks are behind the times (the times apparently calling for pell-mell retreat) and, as a consequence, left behind holding the bag. must admit that retreat seemed like a sensible strategy - presume that not only did the Slovaks lack the technological chops to operate the wireless, but also were without modern optics to notice all the Germans abandoning their positions all around them? Has Slovakia mastered the 17th-century technology of the spyglass yet?

 

[El Pip]

Ikarases - Somewhat surprisingly it's the US divisions with the dissent.

sebas379 - More likely the Germans just forgot about Slovakia, it's easily done.

Surt - Withdraw to the Gothic Line and dig in. It's a plan certainly.

Stuyvesant - They might have the spyglass, but remember Slovakia doesn't have any land doctrine techs at all. So they may well have seen the Germans leave, they just had no idea what it meant.

 

[Surt]

Plan 2 from outer Slovakia, ask Teh Germanz to lend/lease some snaps! (or are puppets also forbidden that?).

 

[shierholzer]

Plan 2 from outer Slovakia, ask Teh Germanz to lend/lease some snaps! (or are puppets also forbidden that?).

That save is far to old for lend-lease.

 

[Stuyvesant]

Stuyvesant - They might have the spyglass, but remember Slovakia doesn't have any land doctrine techs at all. So they may well have seen the Germans leave, they just had no idea what it meant.

Ah yes, I had forgotten about that. So essentially Slovak military thought knows of three postures: shambling forward in a confused mass of troops to bash in some enemy skulls with handy rocks lying nearby (or with a club, if you want to be really fancy about it); sitting in place (confused) while awaiting the next carrier pigeon with orders; or running for the hills when it turns out the enemy has such hellish contraptions as repeating rifles, flamethrowers and machine guns (not to mention the magical explosions that occur out of nowhere, the only clue of their arrival being a quaint whistling or screaming noise).

Witnessing an orderly retreat would be so conceptually alien to the Slovak military that their brains would simply ignore it, since there's simply nothing that knowledge can slot into.

 

[NapoleonComple]

Obviously the brave Slovakian commanders chose to stay behind and let the Germans regroup (and totally didn't miss the fifth order to retreat due to not having radios).