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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Nathan Madien

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OMG! This AAR lives! Yay! :happy:

...it is all down hill from here.
So if it's all down hill from here, does that mean we weren't already going down hill? Is that even physically possible?
 

Ikarases

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Well that wasn't very surprising. They have 3 divisions, they found all 3 and only 2 have the same name? I call that a win for Slovakia right there!
I call a win those divisions haven't already deserted... :p
 

El Pip

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Willum - I had a quick check and couldn't see any missing pictures. I should have all the originals so if you could point me at which pages have the problems it should be an easy fix.

Belgiumruler - I make no promises, the slower than real time habit is hard to break.

sebas379 - The current Slovakian constitution contains the line "Mindful of the spiritual bequest of Cyril and Methodius" so I think truth may be stranger than any fiction.

Willum - Hush your mouth, you'll give away too many secrets...

I've checked and it's 2.5 years since this started and there is no way Slovakia will last that long, so I can now update at a faster rate without worrying about ruining the slower than real time reputation. Which is handy.

Nathan Madien - It never went away. It just stopped for a long time, resting. And if nothing else this AAR will prove that, for Slovakia at least, it is always possible to go down hill. Things can always get worse.

Ikarases - That's the T&T way, set the standards low so that anything at all seems like an achievement. It's definitely healthier than just hitting the booze, so it must be a good plan.
 

Willum

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Well, Furious Vengance, as the thread is still called, chapter 1 misses picture 2, 3, and 5, chapter 2 lacks image 3, and so forth. I can't even open them in a separate window. If you can still see them, I don't know what the issue may be. I thought it had simply deca.... ripened with age.
 

Nathan Madien

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Ikarases - That's the T&T way, set the standards low so that anything at all seems like an achievement. It's definitely healthier than just hitting the booze, so it must be a good plan.
Which makes me wonder where they are getting their booze from. I mean, does Slovakia possess the technology to make her own booze?
 

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A splendid plan! I see but two little, inconsequential drawbacks. One being that a sole division in the east isn't going to be more than a (very low) speed bum (or "speed hump", as North Carolina insists on calling them, much to my ever-lasting delight - what can I say, I'm young at heart). The other is that your two divisions speeding to France and Italy respectively will either be tac-bombed out of existence, or Bratislava will be overrun by the Soviets, long before they reach their respective fronts. But hey! There's the potential that somewhere around 20,000 Slovaks will be saved from the Communist yoke, one way or another! That's an achievement!

Tiso took a deep swig from his hip flask. As Catlos continued talking Tuka turned to his colleague

"A bit early for that isn't it? He's not said anything that terrible has he?" Tuka whispered.

"I know what he's going to say, so I'm getting the numbing effect in early." Tiso confided.
I'd almost say Tiso's a smart man, but then I realize he's the head of state of Slovakia to begin with...

"The original 1st Division got better." Catlos explained.

"Got better from being dead?" Tiso asked, looking at his hip flask longingly.

"Yes. I'll admit it was a surprise." Catlos confessed.
Tiso was a bishop or something, right? He shouldn't be too surprised at inexplicable resurrections, then. :p If only the Slovakian constitution didn't forbid it, I'd recommend renaming this particular 1st Division to the 'Lazarus Division'.
 

NapoleonComple

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I'd say splitting your already pathetic forces up further is a bad plan, but I don't think Hannibal would be able to do anything at this point.
 

H.Appleby

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I'd say splitting your already pathetic forces up further is a bad plan, but I don't think Hannibal would be able to do anything at this point.
He'd probably eat someone and then make a pretentious reference to something medieval and European.

In other news, an update! and a plan! What more could one ask for, other than slightly better punctuation on my part?
 

El Pip

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Willum - Apparently imageshack decided to randomly delete some, but not all, of my pictures there after they became 'Premium' without telling me. I will have to re-upload all the drawings somewhere else when I have some spare time.

Nathan Madien - They have stocks of booze, I believe they are classified as 'Rare Materials' as without booze Slovak industry (such as it is) would stop.

Stuyvesant - I must respectfully disagree. As all three divisions would be an irrelevant speed hump it doesn't really matter where the army goes. On your second point you will have to wait and see.

Tiso was indeed an active and ordained Catholic priest till the end. I knowthe Lord works in mysterious ways, but even Tiso would admit that resurrecting a division of Slovak fascists is a bit unlikely.

NapoleonComple - The three way split was the AI's idea, out of curiosity I gave it control to see what it would do and this was it's solution.

H.Appleby - Always specify your Hannibal.


At this stage I think Hannibal Smith may be the only possible saviour, the power to make your enemies unable to shoot straight and the ability to weld wood would be of great use to Slovakia and might even make the plan come together.

And now back to Bratislava!
 
Last edited:
2nd to 15th July 1944 - Hyperspeed Rapid Update

El Pip

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2nd July

The orders were given and the division began marching, the only thing left for Tiso and Tuka to do was wait till the troops reached the front line.

After Catlos explained that this would take about three weeks the duo decided they might as well take a couple of weeks break.

15th July

Tiso's relaxing break in his mud bath (it wasn't actually supposed to be a mud bath, but Slovak plumbing was no more advanced than the rest of the country's technology) was interrupted by a messenger. The Foreign Ministry has important news from their Germanic overlords!

Arriving in the capital Tiso and Tuka met with the cabinet to discuss the news.

"The German foreign ministry has offered us a trade agreement." Durcansky explained.

Over the babble of excited voices Tiso asserted his authority

"Does this deal offer us a chance to break free of our impending resource crisis?"

"No." Durcansky stated. "The Germans want us to sell them supplies."


How... Helpful.

"Do we actually have that much supplies?" Tiso asked out of curiosity.

"If we devoted the entirety of Slovak industry to that task then..." Production Minister Pruzinsky pulled out an abacus and did some quick work on it "No, probably not."

"And we are in fact OK for money?" Tuka asked.

"That is the only thing we are not going to run out of." Pruzinsky replied.

"And we are still banned from trade deals?" Tiso checked.

"Yes." Durcansky said.

"So in summary this deals requires us to swap something we haven't got and can't afford for something we don't need and can't use?" Tiso said.

"Broadly speaking, yes." Durcansky agreed.

"Well we'll reject it then." Tiso decided.

"You can't do that!" Hans Not-A-German Bernard, head of Slovak Intelligence yelled.

"Why not? What exactly can Germany do to us that they haven't already done?" Tuka reasoned.

As Hans failed to think of a reasonable answer, Tiso and Tuka reflected on the tough life of being a German puppet.

--
Look! An actual advance of time, that's almost two whole weeks of progress, weeks in which the three Slovak divisions failed to get shot at, bombed or defect, so that's something.

A stark reminder of the challenges of playing a puppet in HOI3. Still at least Germany knows Slovakia exists, which was a pleasant surprise.
 
Last edited:

PHN

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Whoa, I almost fell off my chair due to this update's pace!
 

Stuyvesant

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Tiso was indeed an active and ordained Catholic priest till the end, but while the Lord works in mysterious ways resurrecting a division of Slovak fascists is still a bit unlikely.
I've seen less strange things in this AAR. :p

At this stage I think Hannibal Smith may be the only possible saviour, the power to make your enemies unable to shoot straight and the ability to weld wood would be of great use to Slovakia and might even make the plan come together.
Having grown up on 'The A-Team' as an impressionable 5-6 year-old, reading your comment about making 'the plan come together' practically made my day. :)

2nd July
...
15th July
Good lord! Two weeks in the blink of an eye?!? What is this madness?!? Who are you, and what have you done with the real El Pip?!?
 

NapoleonComple

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Maybe if they gun the tech tree the Slovakians can manage to make whiskey into atomic bombs.
 

El Pip

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Hallongren - Indeed, who knows what damage they could do to the war effort?

Belgiumruler - More a hole in the ground than a bath, I imagine Slovakia probably has the technology to make a shovel. Or they can just dig with their hands. Hands are more likely aren't they?

PHN - It is scary. Let's all be brave together and see if we can get through this.

Stuyvesant - I think it's the A-Team influence. The speed of their ability to modify the van inspired me to get this thing moving.

NapoleonComple - You do realise that it would take take Slovakia 6 months to complete it's first Industrial tech? The 1918 level one that actually allows you to build IC.

If someone is looking for a challenge then I suggest not mucking around with various unimpressive German world conquests but 'Trying to build a single Slovakian factory before being annexed.' That would be an impressive achievement.
 
20th July 1944

El Pip

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20th July

Tiso was experiencing a bracing cold shower (he was being rained on while out for a walk) when a messenger interrupted him with vital news from the Foreign Office. Abandoning his idle dreams of some form of covering on a stick to help keep the rain off, Tiso meet up with Tuka and headed to the Cabinet room.

"This vital news had better be actually important." Tiso threatened.

"There is a war on, so none of this rubbish about Soviet Industry moving to Siberia or years late reports about the Fall of Paris." Tuka agreed menacingly.

"This is about war." Durcansky said, passing over the telegram.


The thrilling Peruvian-Ecuadorian border dispute will be covered in unnecessary and terrifying detail in the Butterfly Effect sometime later this decade. Or maybe next. Definitely covered at some point.

Seeing that Tuka was working up his vocal chords for a shouting fit, Durcansky hurriedly continued.

"If it was just a small border war we wouldn't of bothered you, but as Peru was allied to Brazil, and Brazil called in her Allies, this means Ecuador is now at war with all the Western Allies." He said.


At least Venezuela are neutral. And of course there is the Island fortress of the Galapagos to retreat back to. Or there would be, but there aren't any VP there so it wouldn't do any good. Plus Ecuador doesn't have a navy.

Shocked that there was someone worse off than Slovakia Tiso asked the obvious question.

"Why on earth would they be so stupid?" Tiso said, fully aware of the irony.

"We think it's because the Ecuadorian government is composed of idiots." Durcansky said, utterly unaware of any irony at all.


It almost makes the Slovakian cabinet look impressive doesn't it? Almost.

Tiso and Tuka exchanged a glance, hitherto they had thought the Slovak cabinet was as bad as one could get, barring Czechs of course. However as they hadn't let a single scheming, corrupt, thieving master psychologist run almost the entire government they were being forced to reconsider.

"And nobody in Ecuador complained about this particular cabinet?" Tuka asked.

"Apparently not, this sort of thing is pretty common in South America." the Head of Slovak Intelligence chipped in. "For instance the government of Colombia have gone insane." Not-A-German Bernard continued.


Full list of Colombian declarations of war not shown due to space.

Ignoring the fact Colombia had declared war on Ecuador hundreds of times, interest focused on the later part of Colombia's decision.

"They declared as neutral after declaring war, can you do that?" Tiso asked, hope leaping in his heart as he saw a way out for Slovakia.

"I'm afraid not. We checked the Rules of War and Rule 3.4(a)/f Clause 4(xviii) is very clear - Declarations of War are serious, no backsies or returns and crossing your fingers doesn't count." General Catlos confirmed.

"Bugger." Tuka said.

--
All genuine events of course. I struggled to find anything about Juan de Diaz Mera, but that was because the name was badly mangled by Paradox, the name I think they wanted was Juan de Dios Martínez. They got the first name correct I suppose. Juan was President of Ecuador for about a year in the early 1930s before he was kicked out in a coup and retired from politics. Not actually corrupt apparently, or at least not obviously so by the standards of Ecuador. As for Julio Gallegos the head of state he wasn't a General, never had been and wasn't head of state at the time. He was in fact a Radical Liberal minister of public works who became President for two whole days in late May 1944 after a revolution to stop the previous president setting up a dictatorship. Annoyingly they have the correct President in the game files but decided to with the wrong chap because.. Sweden?

On the army side Paradox have got the pictures of Guillermo Freire Posso and Ramon Castro Jion mixed up and, perhaps more importantly, neither of those two were anywhere near power at the time. Instead those two were part of the Board of 63, the four man military Junta who ran the country 1963 and 1966, as was Army Chief Luis Cabrera Sevilla. Still could be worse, Navy Chief Penaherrera certainly isn't correct and probably doesn't exist.

Now knowing much more about Ecuador than you could ever wish to know, I can proudly announce that the next update will have some actual action.!
 
Last edited:

Willum

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How long does it take you to dig up these obscure politicians with misspelled names? They must be a nightmare to Google, flooding you with Facebook profiles of similarly named people.
On the bright side, maybe the Americans will pull back from France now that a new treath has appeared much closer by.
 

sebas379

Marshal of the Soviet Union
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Jul 9, 2012
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An update, hurray!
I guess the AI just went nuts in South America. Good to see that at least the war happens in the first place I guess.