Just out of curiosity, is there any interest in seeing this one revived and completed? Or would it be better if it was allowed to slip quietly into that good night?
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Exactly this.
Yes, please, more Tiso and Tuka. And possibly, at some as-yet unfathomable point down the line, a cameo appearance by the Red Army?
Just incase it needed any more proof, it would be great to see the next chapter in this AAR, it has been great so far!
I have definitely missed the musings of our two intrepid 'leaders'...
More would be awesome.
More would be awesome.
The people have spoken, we are going back to Bratislava where General Catlos has a cunning plan. Unfortunately.
Expect next update in a month or three
Good to see you return to this, the first ten days were hilarious.
By the way, I went back and reread your best work to date in anticipation, and many of the pictures were missing. Any chance something could be done about that, or are we to leave it our imagination spurred on by your stellar writing?
Good to see you return to this, the first ten days were hilarious.
By the way, I went back and reread your best work to date in anticipation, and many of the pictures were missing. Any chance something could be done about that, or are we to leave it our imagination spurred on by your stellar writing?
1st July 1944
1st July
Tiso and Tuka have returned to the nerve centre of the Slovak military to see General Catlos unveil his cunning plan to avoid utter defeat. Given the situation it had better be an amazing plan.
"Slovakia is threatened on three sides, the Soviet menace in the East and the Allies in Italy and France and the Slovak army is an insignificant force amongst the vast armies assembled. Therefore the General Staff have decided there is therefore only one sensible way to deploy our forces." Catlos explained.
Tiso took a deep swig from his hip flask. As Catlos continued talking Tuka turned to his colleague
"A bit early for that isn't it? He's not said anything that terrible has he?" Tuka whispered.
"I know what he's going to say, so I'm getting the numbing effect in early." Tiso confided.
With a dramatic flourish Catlos pulled out a map and unveiled the scheme that was to save Slovakia.
"We call it the triangle plan, one division to each front. The 1st Division will got to Italy, the 2nd to France while the 1st Division will fight on the Eastern Front." Catlos beamed.
Lacking a hip flask to deal with the shock, Tuka took refuge in pedantry.
"How can you send the 1st Division to two places at once?" Tuka asked, having learnt from bitter experience not to start shouting too soon.
"We've got two 1st Divisions." Catlos explained.
"Why?!" Tuka asked, feeling it was safe to take the shouting up a notch.
"The original 1st Division was sent to fight alongside the Germans on the Eastern Front and we were told they had been wiped out in fierce fighting in 1943. So we raised a new 1st Division to replace it." Catlos said.
"And?" Tiso, suitably fortified by his hip flask, joined the conversation.
"The original 1st Division got better." Catlos explained.
"Got better from being dead?" Tiso asked, looking at his hip flask longingly.
"Yes. I'll admit it was a surprise." Catlos confessed.
Seeing that Tiso and Tuka were not responding, merely drinking and simmering with rage respectively, Catlos carried on.
"As the Germans think the original 1st Division are still dead they've let us have control back, so we will soon have the entire army back under Slovak control. We were going to rename one of the divisions to avoid the confusion, but it turns out we're not allowed to."
"Not allowed?!" Tuka shouted, unable to contain himself.
"Yes, it's Article 74 in the constitution, just after the bit about goats." Catlos replied, pointing to the relevant section.
To Tiso and Tuka's surprise, that was indeed the case.
While the duo fully realised that Catlos' plan was terrible, they couldn't actually think of a better one. As there were no good options, only various bad ones, they agreed to implement the Triangle Plan. Slovak troops would fight on every front in Europe.
--
And we're back. I decided on this scheme as it gave the best chance of finding odd things to comment on. Slovakia does indeed have two 1st Division (or 1. Pesi divize if one wishes to be picky) but one is still under German control as an expeditionary force. The Slovak constitution is also slightly odd.
Consider this a necessary scene setter, it is all down hill from here.
Tiso and Tuka have returned to the nerve centre of the Slovak military to see General Catlos unveil his cunning plan to avoid utter defeat. Given the situation it had better be an amazing plan.
"Slovakia is threatened on three sides, the Soviet menace in the East and the Allies in Italy and France and the Slovak army is an insignificant force amongst the vast armies assembled. Therefore the General Staff have decided there is therefore only one sensible way to deploy our forces." Catlos explained.
Tiso took a deep swig from his hip flask. As Catlos continued talking Tuka turned to his colleague
"A bit early for that isn't it? He's not said anything that terrible has he?" Tuka whispered.
"I know what he's going to say, so I'm getting the numbing effect in early." Tiso confided.
With a dramatic flourish Catlos pulled out a map and unveiled the scheme that was to save Slovakia.
"We call it the triangle plan, one division to each front. The 1st Division will got to Italy, the 2nd to France while the 1st Division will fight on the Eastern Front." Catlos beamed.
Lacking a hip flask to deal with the shock, Tuka took refuge in pedantry.
"How can you send the 1st Division to two places at once?" Tuka asked, having learnt from bitter experience not to start shouting too soon.
"We've got two 1st Divisions." Catlos explained.
"Why?!" Tuka asked, feeling it was safe to take the shouting up a notch.
"The original 1st Division was sent to fight alongside the Germans on the Eastern Front and we were told they had been wiped out in fierce fighting in 1943. So we raised a new 1st Division to replace it." Catlos said.
"And?" Tiso, suitably fortified by his hip flask, joined the conversation.
"The original 1st Division got better." Catlos explained.
"Got better from being dead?" Tiso asked, looking at his hip flask longingly.
"Yes. I'll admit it was a surprise." Catlos confessed.
Seeing that Tiso and Tuka were not responding, merely drinking and simmering with rage respectively, Catlos carried on.
"As the Germans think the original 1st Division are still dead they've let us have control back, so we will soon have the entire army back under Slovak control. We were going to rename one of the divisions to avoid the confusion, but it turns out we're not allowed to."
"Not allowed?!" Tuka shouted, unable to contain himself.
"Yes, it's Article 74 in the constitution, just after the bit about goats." Catlos replied, pointing to the relevant section.
To Tiso and Tuka's surprise, that was indeed the case.
While the duo fully realised that Catlos' plan was terrible, they couldn't actually think of a better one. As there were no good options, only various bad ones, they agreed to implement the Triangle Plan. Slovak troops would fight on every front in Europe.
--
And we're back. I decided on this scheme as it gave the best chance of finding odd things to comment on. Slovakia does indeed have two 1st Division (or 1. Pesi divize if one wishes to be picky) but one is still under German control as an expeditionary force. The Slovak constitution is also slightly odd.
Consider this a necessary scene setter, it is all down hill from here.
I laughed at the Slovak Constiution, goats and not allowed to rename divisions? :wacko: But, update faster then real time in the future!
Well that wasn't very surprising. They have 3 divisions, they found all 3 and only 2 have the same name? I call that a win for Slovakia right there!
And I'd love to see that Slovak constitution, I bet the division and goat parts aren't the only odd chapters...
Glad you decided to continue this!
And I'd love to see that Slovak constitution, I bet the division and goat parts aren't the only odd chapters...
Glad you decided to continue this!
Updating faster than real time? That would mean several updates a day, and seeing as I'm convinced El Pip vanishes into a black void for about a month after having written an update, I am convinced this cannot happen.
Catlos seems dangerously competent. His explanations are coherent and as sensible as the situation allows, which admittedly isn't saying much.
Catlos seems dangerously competent. His explanations are coherent and as sensible as the situation allows, which admittedly isn't saying much.