The Oman cabinet surely proves the theory of taking the piss. How on earth could they have otherwise thought Libel Man was a fitting choice for Head of Intelligence?
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So the 1st division of random people picked up and given inferior arms is nearly wiped our by bombing!?! the end is neigh!!!
Have to get that vital intelligence from Bratislava before it falls.
How appropriate that our last (?) foreign cabinet is the stupidest.
How appropriate that our last (?) foreign cabinet is the stupidest.
I was pleased with myself when I came up with that idea.Absolutely brilliant to cap it off, I must say.
I don't want to go around making rash promises, but we should see the end of the Battle of Bratislava before Easter. Coptic Orthodox Easter, obviously.
Not in Slovakia. T&T would promote you to head of Public Morality and Education for that sort of line.
Then again T&T do like doing things to spite their own population, so it's not a 100% positive endorsement.
It's a bit late for that, after all T&T appointed Jesensky in the first place and have deliberately inflicted his poetry on the population. OK it was as a (deserved) punishment after the metal donation debacle, but sadly that is not a recognised defence to what was basically a crime against humanity.Jesensky needs to be shot before the Allies take them all prisoner, just to show the about to be former Slovakian leadership has some kind of standards. Before the British administer a thoroughly efficient horse-whipping for their crimes (that judge’s quote had to be used - not just gold, but platinum
I could only find a summary of the case (in a contemporary Australian newspaper of all places) but it had that quote. If I had been wavering about whether to do another cabinet update, that clinched it.
Now that would be an impressive level of meta-meta-writing. Given your prolific work across the ages and genres I expect you to dazzle us with something of that sort very soon.And maybe banishment to an Omani cabinet full of dead men was the equivalent of that punishment? Perhaps the spy was conducting research for a lurid tell-all Dennis page turner about Tiso and Tuka. He would have no need to worry about lawsuits or exaggerating their perfidy. Perhaps this AAR is indeed that work!?
Whatever that mysterious link is, people from the UK are not allowed to see it. "The Amazon CloudFront distribution is configured to block access from your country."
I can only guess it is a terrible American secret that cannot be shared with outsiders, lest it bring shame upon the nation and the flag.
He is a perfect match. Not only does he operate at the correct (very low) level for the rest of the cabinet, he also stops them getting any hope at all about help from Germany. If T&T ever think Berlin might help Slovakia, a quick look at Von Killinger will set them right.
A stirring speech that would echo down the ages, if anyone in Slovakia had the knowledge or technology to write it down.
And suffocate the snakes? You Barbarian!
A legitimate concern. Though surely if the snakes could burrow, they would have been bright enough to escape Slovakia before the end? I am assuming snakes are significantly more intelligent than Tiso's government, but that seems a fairly reasonable assumption.
This is what I was aiming for. I hadn't considered it, but I agree that Tiso's stash of unspecified alcohol probably is luring in agents from across the world. It makes more sense than any other explanation.
Friends who have worked in the Middle East inform me that for many these restrictions are viewed more as... guidelines. Particularly if there is no-one devout about and a few Westerners present to take the blame.
It is odd. Oman got a lazy deal (only 1 HoS and HoG, so no Communist Oman for you) but then they felt the need to give the player choices for Ministers. While I sympathise with the challenge, I can't imagine there are many good sources for who was running the Intelligence Agency of 1940s Oman (if such a thing existed), the choices do seem like na in-joke.
Bonus point I forgot to mention - The Sheikh is 'National Party' but all the dead ministers are Social Conservative, which the game flags up as "Muslim Brotherhood". I must admit I find the idea of the devoutly Methodist former Labour Leader Arthur Henderson joining that organisation to become Chancellor of Oman quite amusing, but I fully concede I might be in a minority on that.
Who could possibly have foreseen this outcome?
Fortunately the Allies have not yet deployed their cavalry divisions, so we are at least spared this.
Yes the mission was to "Sabotage" them. Definitely not drink them. Not at all. The bottles will definitely be empty if the "Sabotage" is successful.
I think Oman might be the last, we might finally have hit rock bottom. I'm not ruling out Paradox somehow managing to have created something worse, but I'm not aware of it.
Welcome aboard. I can reassure you that you have absolutely picked the correct work to follow; the end may well be inevitable, but it will in no way be quick.
Oh I've been reading this since highschool, so I've been following for quite a while. I just never bothered with an account until now.
...
Yes the mission was to "Sabotage" them. Definitely not drink them. Not at all. The bottles will definitely be empty if the "Sabotage" is successful.
...
Mission needs to be accomplished. By any and all means possible; :ja:
In which case thank you for sticking with this through the occasional short interruptions and congratulations on taking the plunge and using your first comments on my work. It does mean a lot.
Damn right.
And on that entirely inappropriately positive and optimisic note, let us return to Bratislava!
5th March 1945
5th March 1945
When the Slovak government had scheduled the next cabinet meeting they hadn't actually expected the country to still exist in March. Due to the heroic efforts of the mighty Slovak Army Bratislava still stood proud and unbowed, so the cabinet reluctantly assembled in the Presidential Palace/Bungalow.
"Any news that isn't about the war?" Tiso decided to get that out of the way early.
"We have had a report about a General Strike in Poland." Alleged-Vice-Deputy Foreign Minister Durcansky offered.
"Generals going on strike?!" Baron Von Killinger shouted. "Unthinkable!"
"No it's the Poles going on strike."
"Then the General Government should crack down on this." Von Killinger continued.
"No not in occupied former Poland, this news is from the Polish government in exile." Ducransky explained.
"Given they are a government in exile, I don't think they actually possess any manpower that could threaten to withdraw it's labour." Pruzinksy said.
"That's the point." Durcansky replied. "German intelligence believes this proves the Poles have gone mad."
Perhaps the fact they have no workers to go on strike is the reason the Polish government don't think a major strike is anything to worry about?
"That is the only possible logical conclusion." Von Killiner agreed.
Deciding not to probe that mystery further, Tiso moved onto the war.
"What news from the front."
"Bad." Kubela said.
"Could we have more detail than that?" Tuka asked.
"Yes, you probably could." Malar said contemplatively.
When Tuka had finished screaming about the over literalness of the Slovak General Staff, the briefing continued.
"The Allies have deployed one of their mightiest aerial warriors, a legend known only as Barratt." Kubela said in a hushed voice.
How could anyone keep fighting when facing such an awe-inspiring foe? Look at that tache, the insouciance of the flying helmet and the rakish angle of the tie. A devastating sartorial offensive from Air Chief Marshall Barratt.
"General Turanec reports the bombing has intensified to truly relentless levels since his arrival in the skies above Bratislava." Malar confirmed.
"Why is Turanec reporting not Lendvay?" Tuka asked.
"General Lendvay's troops are only militia, they cannot be expected to face stand against such attacks. They have strategically redeployed to a more advantageous defensive line to recover." Kubela said.
They fought hard but in the end the troops ran out of morale and the support brigades ran out of men. Leigh-Mallory and the RAF/RAAF/RCAF finish off the work that the mighty Barratt and 2nd Tactical Air Force began.
"Why wasn't the hero Turanec in charge in the first place?" Tuka asked suspiciously.
"Alphabetical order?" Kubela guessed.
"Then surely Jurech should have had command?!" Tiso joined in.
"Kubela and Malar looked at each other and shrugged.
"Things got a bit confused when the HQ shattered and somehow ended up in Berlin." Kubela admitted.
Tiso thought about getting angry with that, before deciding that, given the current state of the war, it didn't really matter who was in command of the defence. Delighted at this stress reducing decision, he reached for his hipflask.
*Glug, glug, glug*
--
Notes:
I don't know quite why I like that picture of Air Chief Marshall Barratt so much, but I do. His arrival with another massive British air wing, making it three wings and about a dozen squadrons in total, was the final straw that broke the militia. Piccie from here, Imperial War Museum collection via Wiki.
The order in which the HOI3 engine picks which general to command the battle remains unclear. It's possible I once knew and have forgotten, been a long time since I actually played it just for fun rather than for an AAR. I may be maligning Paradox here but the choice of the lowest skilled general, who was commanding the militia, to lead the defence of Bratislava was very Slovakian.
When the Slovak government had scheduled the next cabinet meeting they hadn't actually expected the country to still exist in March. Due to the heroic efforts of the mighty Slovak Army Bratislava still stood proud and unbowed, so the cabinet reluctantly assembled in the Presidential Palace/Bungalow.
"Any news that isn't about the war?" Tiso decided to get that out of the way early.
"We have had a report about a General Strike in Poland." Alleged-Vice-Deputy Foreign Minister Durcansky offered.
"Generals going on strike?!" Baron Von Killinger shouted. "Unthinkable!"
"No it's the Poles going on strike."
"Then the General Government should crack down on this." Von Killinger continued.
"No not in occupied former Poland, this news is from the Polish government in exile." Ducransky explained.
"Given they are a government in exile, I don't think they actually possess any manpower that could threaten to withdraw it's labour." Pruzinksy said.
"That's the point." Durcansky replied. "German intelligence believes this proves the Poles have gone mad."
Perhaps the fact they have no workers to go on strike is the reason the Polish government don't think a major strike is anything to worry about?
"That is the only possible logical conclusion." Von Killiner agreed.
Deciding not to probe that mystery further, Tiso moved onto the war.
"What news from the front."
"Bad." Kubela said.
"Could we have more detail than that?" Tuka asked.
"Yes, you probably could." Malar said contemplatively.
When Tuka had finished screaming about the over literalness of the Slovak General Staff, the briefing continued.
"The Allies have deployed one of their mightiest aerial warriors, a legend known only as Barratt." Kubela said in a hushed voice.
How could anyone keep fighting when facing such an awe-inspiring foe? Look at that tache, the insouciance of the flying helmet and the rakish angle of the tie. A devastating sartorial offensive from Air Chief Marshall Barratt.
"General Turanec reports the bombing has intensified to truly relentless levels since his arrival in the skies above Bratislava." Malar confirmed.
"Why is Turanec reporting not Lendvay?" Tuka asked.
"General Lendvay's troops are only militia, they cannot be expected to face stand against such attacks. They have strategically redeployed to a more advantageous defensive line to recover." Kubela said.
They fought hard but in the end the troops ran out of morale and the support brigades ran out of men. Leigh-Mallory and the RAF/RAAF/RCAF finish off the work that the mighty Barratt and 2nd Tactical Air Force began.
"Why wasn't the hero Turanec in charge in the first place?" Tuka asked suspiciously.
"Alphabetical order?" Kubela guessed.
"Then surely Jurech should have had command?!" Tiso joined in.
"Kubela and Malar looked at each other and shrugged.
"Things got a bit confused when the HQ shattered and somehow ended up in Berlin." Kubela admitted.
Tiso thought about getting angry with that, before deciding that, given the current state of the war, it didn't really matter who was in command of the defence. Delighted at this stress reducing decision, he reached for his hipflask.
*Glug, glug, glug*
--
Notes:
I don't know quite why I like that picture of Air Chief Marshall Barratt so much, but I do. His arrival with another massive British air wing, making it three wings and about a dozen squadrons in total, was the final straw that broke the militia. Piccie from here, Imperial War Museum collection via Wiki.
The order in which the HOI3 engine picks which general to command the battle remains unclear. It's possible I once knew and have forgotten, been a long time since I actually played it just for fun rather than for an AAR. I may be maligning Paradox here but the choice of the lowest skilled general, who was commanding the militia, to lead the defence of Bratislava was very Slovakian.
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What if we give all of the street signs signalling the entrance to the city of Bratislava to the militia Division? If they keep retreating, they should be able to distract a sizable portion of the Allied army away from the actual city and maybe even cause an unintentional Unthinkable if they get them into Soviet territory! And considering that the only thing this plan requires is for the Slovaks to be horrendously weak and incompetent, I'd say it's an unavoidable success.
Perhaps the entire scenario was deliberately designed by someone at paradox to make fun of Slovakia by making the game map, government make up and events complete madness, highlighting the gullibility of the government and the idiocy of their intelligence?
I find it more likely that at this point Slovakia made up a polish strike than the poles in exile actually going on one.
Breath is being bated all over Bratislava as the inevitable end approaches at (relatively) great speed. For those lucky enough to still be breathing, which does not include most of that militia division. At least Slovakia has the technology for breathing - and drinking (pop, glug glug glug).
Time for von Killinger to grab a Luger (or pointed stick) and man the front line in that last desperate defence? Have the Allies been bombing good Slovakian carpets again? Are there any lights still working for the last one out of the Cabinet room to switch off before enacting their regime collapse escape plan (you know, gold, false passport, fast car/horse to somewhere else with functioning aircraft before winding up in Paraguay)?
So many questions, so little time left.
Time for von Killinger to grab a Luger (or pointed stick) and man the front line in that last desperate defence? Have the Allies been bombing good Slovakian carpets again? Are there any lights still working for the last one out of the Cabinet room to switch off before enacting their regime collapse escape plan (you know, gold, false passport, fast car/horse to somewhere else with functioning aircraft before winding up in Paraguay)?
So many questions, so little time left.
Any chance we can get an overall picture of the fronts? I'm really curious what's going on in Germany/Poland/The Balkans at this point.
I think the commander is chosen by the highest rank then by earliest availability date (from the leader file), because they are sorted in that order internally.
Air Chief Marshall Barratt looks like he also played in Dad's Army or something. :chin_scratch:
So i have to thank you..after reading the whole AAR and all the comments over 2 days i decided to sit my ass down and write my own.So thank you both for the good time and the insipiration.
And for that i had to buy the dlc again cause i cant find my gog acount..well i guess its worth it in the end
And for that i had to buy the dlc again cause i cant find my gog acount..well i guess its worth it in the end
Months of preparation (years in our time) to create that militia division and it gets bombed to smithereens in a few days...