Inevitable Defeat - Slovakia '44

[El Pip]

4th February 1945

It was Sunday and Tiso thought he should be busy coveting his neighbours graven idol (he had not got high marks for theology in the seminary). However the demands of the Race to Bratislava did not stop at the weekend, so he was back in the Command Shed for another meeting.

"You believe our overall Headquarters unit has reformed in Berlin?" Tiso asked.

"It appears so." General Kubela confirmed.

"Why?" Tuka asked.

"We suspect it is a rather contrived administration error." General G. Malar explained.

Tiso thought about asking further, but decided he wouldn't like the answers and they wouldn't matter anyway.

"What about the rest of the front?" He asked.

The Austro-Slovako-Hungarian Front. Despite appearances the 2nd (Legends of Paris) Division is moving to Bratislava, just very slowly. In theory this could open a large hole in the Axis' defence line, but in practice the Axis' defence is more hole than line, so this is not as serious as it would otherwise be.​

"Any other news?"

"The OKH believe their latest rationalisation and streamlining of the command structure will come into effect in the next few days." Fritz said.

"Meaning?" Tiso asked.

"The remnants of German Army Group E has been trapped against the Albanian coast in the city of Durrës and are about to be captured or destroyed." Fritz explained.

You could argue that if Army Group E had been provided with more fighting units and less HQs things might have gone better. You would however be wrong, because they were doomed to be crushed by the Anglo-Soviet pincer movement regardless.​

"They are making a heroic last stand for the Fuhrer, in a town with an Umlaut in the name!" Baron Von Killinger sighed almost ecstatically.

"But the only reason they were down there is because of Mussolini's misadventures. Technically they are dying for his cause." Tuka argued.

"To die in a heroic last stand for a dictator who has already died heroically, on the orders of a dictator who will doubtless die in a heroic last stand themselves?" Von Killinger's eyes lit up. "Truly these men are double blessed."

Tiso reached for his hipflask without a second thought.

--
Notes:
The great Axis misadventure in the Balkans splutters to an end, freeing up more Soviet and British troops to attack Germany. And on the way to Germany, they will pass through Slovakia.

The German AI has heard of continuous defensive lines, but will have no truck with such crazy ideas. The Slovako-Austro-Hungarian Front will be defended by arbitrarily placed divisions that move around randomly, it is the last thing the enemy will be expecting.

 

[nuclearslurpee]

"To die in a heroic last stand for a dictator who has already died heroically, on the orders of a dictator who will doubtless die in a heroic last stand themselves?" Von Killinger's eyes lit up. "Truly these men are double blessed."

Boy, someone's going to be very disappointed in a few months...

The great Axis misadventure in the Balkans splutters to an end, freeing up more Soviet and British troops to attack Germany. And on the way to Germany, they will pass through Slovakia.

One wonders if they will even notice...

...that is, if they will even notice that they are on their way to Germany, preoccupied as they surely will be with the great Race to Bratislava!

 

[Bullfilter]

Would von Killinger be willing to take up a sharpened stick in defence of the Vodcabunker at the last gasp?

 

[Surt]

Only outnumbered roughly two to one, with inferior tech, equipment and (maybe) leadership.

 

[Jaimie Wolf]

One wonders if they will even notice...

I do believe one would notice. At last at the very moment they hit slovakian "streets". The rythm of bump holes will send shivers up their spines as pleasent as the famous social realistic poetry of slovakia!

 

[El Pip]

Boy, someone's going to be very disappointed in a few months...

You are assuming he will even be alive in a few months. Certainly I wouldn't be rushing to sell him even short-term life insurance at this point.

One wonders if they will even notice...

...that is, if they will even notice that they are on their way to Germany, preoccupied as they surely will be with the great Race to Bratislava!

You almost had me worried, but then smoothly saved it at the end.

Would von Killinger be willing to take up a sharpened stick in defence of the Vodcabunker at the last gasp?

In OTL he was stuck in Romania and completely blind-sided by the King's Coup, which meant he never got a chance for a dramatic last defence as Romania switched sides before the Soviets turned up. Does mean there is no OTL example to point to and I do draw the line at buying his biography to find out, but I sort of get the feeling he would from the scraps I can find.

So I've decided that in the T&T-verse he will definitely be in the bunker at the end to get the pointless dramatic last stand he was denied in real life.

Only outnumbered roughly two to one, with inferior tech, equipment and (maybe) leadership.

You can remove the maybe on leadership.

I do believe one would notice. At last at the very moment they hit slovakian "streets". The rythm of bump holes will send shivers up their spines as pleasent as the famous social realistic poetry of slovakia!

This is true, when they finally cross the Danube the Allied troops will wonder why it's now mud tracks and shacks. Reports will come back of a lack of phones, electricity, clean water or any hint of the Industrial Revolution having occurred. Further investigation will cast down on whether the Renaissance has even reached Slovakia. These are all things that will certainly be noticed.

 

[Alex Kernel]

In OTL he was stuck in Romania and completely blind-sided by the King's Coup, which meant he never got a chance for a dramatic last defence as Romania switched sides before the Soviets turned up. Does mean there is no OTL example to point to and I do draw the line at buying his biography to find out, but I sort of get the feeling he would from the scraps I can find.

One small correction. Romania switched sides only after three Soviet offensives on its national territory. On 5 April 1944 the soviets crossed river Nistru, i.e. the Romanian border. Later in April and May 1944 the German-Romanian troops have repelled two major Soviet offensives at Targu Frumos, Podu Iloaiei and Iasi. During that summer however, Hitler decided to move the defending armour divisions out of the Romanian front, probably to reinforce Germany's eastern borders, despite Bucharest's protestations. With only one Romanian tank division left opposing many enemy armour divisions, Romanian military was not able to sustain another confrontation with the invading Soviets. On 21-23 August the Russians started the third offensive, during which the German and Romanian defensive was shattered. The collapsed front 300 km from the Capital Bucharest meant that Romania was not in the position to resist alone more than a few weeks anymore. Should Romania had had stayed in the Axis after 23 August, the Soviets would have flattened its cities and infrastructure like the Allies did in Germany...

As for Killinger's fictious dialogs like this one <<"To die in a heroic last stand for a dictator who has already died heroically, on the orders of a dictator who will doubtless die in a heroic last stand themselves?" Von Killinger's eyes lit up. "Truly these men are double blessed.">>, they are simply delightful.

 

[Jaimie Wolf]

This is true, when they finally cross the Danube the Allied troops will wonder why it's now mud tracks and shacks. Reports will come back of a lack of phones, electricity, clean water or any hint of the Industrial Revolution having occurred. Further investigation will cast down on whether the Renaissance has even reached Slovakia. These are all things that will certainly be noticed.

Now I'm wondering why the Brits don't put up more of an effort to win the race for bratislava. Last time I checked c̶̶o̶̶l̶̶o̶̶n̶̶i̶̶z̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ liberating states to ̶e̶̶x̶̶p̶̶l̶̶o̶̶i̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶i̶̶r̶̶ ̶̶r̶̶e̶̶s̶̶s̶̶o̶̶u̶̶r̶̶c̶̶e̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶i̶̶n̶̶d̶̶i̶̶g̶̶e̶̶n̶̶o̶̶u̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶p̶̶o̶̶p̶̶u̶̶l̶̶a̶̶t̶̶i̶̶o̶̶n̶ bring them the marvels of modern technology and life was their expertise...

 

[Andre Massena]

Don't worry, Steiner's army will cover the holes.

 

[Henry IX]

Don't worry, Steiner's army will cover the holes.

Backed up by the might of the Slovak armoured corps and the Slovak heavy bomber fleet they will punch through the Allied defences and reverse the tide battle!

 

[El Pip]

Should Romania had had stayed in the Axis after 23 August, the Soviets would have flattened its cities and infrastructure like the Allies did in Germany.

While a sensible decision, Von Killinger never forgave them for it.

As for Killinger's fictious dialogs like this one <<"To die in a heroic last stand for a dictator who has already died heroically, on the orders of a dictator who will doubtless die in a heroic last stand themselves?" Von Killinger's eyes lit up. "Truly these men are double blessed.">>, they are simply delightful.

For a long time Pruzinksy was my favourite, but I think Von Killinger is now the T&T character I most enjoy writing.

Now I'm wondering why the Brits don't put up more of an effort to win the race for bratislava. Last time I checked c̶̶o̶̶l̶̶o̶̶n̶̶i̶̶z̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ liberating states to ̶e̶̶x̶̶p̶̶l̶̶o̶̶i̶̶t̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶i̶̶r̶̶ ̶̶r̶̶e̶̶s̶̶s̶̶o̶̶u̶̶r̶̶c̶̶e̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶n̶̶ ̶̶i̶̶n̶̶d̶̶i̶̶g̶̶e̶̶n̶̶o̶̶u̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶p̶̶o̶̶p̶̶u̶̶l̶̶a̶̶t̶̶i̶̶o̶̶n̶ bring them the marvels of modern technology and life was their expertise...

Rule #1 of Empire Club, don't conqueor areas that lack resources or other valuables. As we have seen Slovakia is entirely bereft of anything like that, so the British have no interest in giving the area a chance to benefit from Imperialism.

Don't worry, Steiner's army will cover the holes.

Backed up by the might of the Slovak armoured corps and the Slovak heavy bomber fleet they will punch through the Allied defences and reverse the tide battle!

Sadly (for T&T and the Axis in general) even if they had Army Detachment Steiner at full strength and the much dreamed of Slovak Armoured Army it wouldn't be enough. The final collapse is very much under way.

And on that note, we return to Bratislava!

 

[El Pip]

6th February 1945

We return to Bratislava where T&T and the Total War Cabinet have gathered to discuss an audacious plan that will in no way impact the outcome of the war.

"I fear this plan is over-complicated." Tuka declared.

"It seems simple enough." General Kubela said.

"See Tuka, the General Staff think it's simple. It can't be that complicated." Tiso said.

General G. Malar was unsure if that was compliment or not, while General Kublea had decided it was and was smiling happily.

"It is too risky." Tuka persisted. "What if they notice?"

"Berlin will be distracted by events in the Low Countries." Tiso said, gesturing at the map.

A warm welcome for the returning Netherlands, after a tough fight the British have driven the Germans out and liberated the Dutch homelands allowing those heroes to return from exile for the final fight. Also the Former Low Country of Flanoonistan is back.​

"The British have also capitalised on the stunning success of Taverna Greenhouse. The fallout from that will also distract matters." General Kubela added.

Greece has also been liberated! Sort of. Just ignore the bits that aren't the mainland.​

"How much work does it take to notice that the British have liberated a few places?" Tuka said defiantly.

"I think it might work." Fritz said. "The distractions aren't just in Europe." Fritz said, handing over the latest news.

The full extent of Japan's audacity in asking for a second Dutch surrender not shown. It would have been a bit rude to surrender just after the British have gone to all the effort of liberating them, plus the paper work of re-surrendering would have been a nightmare, so the Hague decided to stay in the war.​

"OK you have convinced me, let's risk it." Tuka relented.

"Generals, Operation Imperial Knickerbockers is go." Tiso said with satisfaction.

A brief moment later, in Vienna.

After securing the Former-Hapsburg-Empire Trousers, General Juranec and his men abandon Vienna. Given the porous nature of the rest of the line they are confident they can get away with this without anyone on the Axis side noticing.​

--
Notes:
The Allies are closing in on all fronts and the cunning scheme by the Japanese AI to exploit Paradox's inept event coding failed. The German Front Line continues to stretch the definition of the word 'Line' beyond breaking point.

The Slovaks have secured the Former-Hapsburg-Empire trousers, but will they have time to put them on before being annexed? And do they even want to?

 

[nuclearslurpee]

We return to Bratislava where T&T and the Total War Cabinet have gathered to discuss an audacious plan that will in no way impact the outcome of the war.

The lack of impact should come as no surprise here, as given that the Cabinet in question is planning for Total War instead of Hearts of Iron I would expect any such plan to be entirely inapplicable.

Also the Former Low Country of Flanoonistan is back.

This choice of terminology will not ignite any heated geopolitical debates at all, if only because @roverS3 is just too damn nice to start one.

The full extent of Japan's audacity in asking for a second Dutch surrender not shown. It would have been a bit rude to surrender just after the British have gone to all the effort of liberating them, plus the paper work of re-surrendering would have been a nightmare, so the Hague decided to stay in the war.

Ah, so this whole, ahem, bull-show could have been avoided if the paperwork for starting a war were even half so nightmarish as that for re-surrendering. One hopes for the benefit of the common man that such a procedure will be implemented in the post-war setting.

The German Front Line continues to stretch the definition of the word 'Line' beyond breaking point.

I believe the term here is "dotted line", though I imagine Slovakia may only be dimly aware of the existence of such an elaborate military doctrine, if even the related geometrical concept.

 

[roverS3]

I'm sure the Germans won't notice Vienna lacks a Garrison now, so I guess the city is fair game for the Allies.

This choice of terminology will not ignite any heated geopolitical debates at all, if only because @roverS3 is just too damn nice to start one.

I've commented on the word Flanoonistan before, and it's fine by me. It really does recognise the political (and practical) reality of confederalism in my country. Surrealism as an art form could only have been invented in a country like Flanoonistan. Short update on Belgian politics at the national level:

Spoiler

We still don't have a new government since the elections in May (business as usual). The previous prime minister who remained head of the caretaker government will be vacating his post as of next week to take up the role of President of the European Council. (this was the result of a complex process at the European level which I won't delve into at this juncture) This lead to a second set of negotiations about who should take his place while negotiations drag on for the formation of a new government with no end in sight. They did manage to select the new Prime Minister of the caretaker government in time, a senior member of the same party as the outgoing one. (all this is done by the 'outgoing parliament and government'). No doubt this delayed the eventual formation of a government by a couple of weeks, not that it really makes a tangible difference. After all we took the record for longest time without a federal government from Iraq some years ago (589 days / 2010-2011), Of course this was recently beaten by Northern Ireland (still counting AFAIK, which would make it 975 days). I'm sure our politicians are hard at work to beat this new record and put Flanoonistan back on the map in style.

 

[Bullfilter]

I believe the term here is "dotted line", though I imagine Slovakia may only be dimly aware of the existence of such an elaborate military doctrine, if even the related geometrical concept.

Beat me to the punch! Was going to make a jolly jape about a ‘ten-dashed line’ or some such. Oh, looks Iike I did anyway!

I'm sure the Germans won't notice Vienna lacks a Garrison now, so I guess the city is fair game for the Allies.
I've commented on the word Flanoonistan before, and it's fine by me. It really does recognise the political (and practical) reality of confederalism in my country. Surrealism as an art form could only have been invented in a country like Flanoonistan. Short update on Belgian politics at the national level:

Spoiler

We still don't have a new government since the elections in May (business as usual). The previous prime minister who remained head of the caretaker government will be vacating his post as of next week to take up the role of President of the European Council. (this was the result of a complex process at the European level which I won't delve into at this juncture) This lead to a second set of negotiations about who should take his place while negotiations drag on for the formation of a new government with no end in sight. They did manage to select the new Prime Minister of the caretaker government in time, a senior member of the same party as the outgoing one. (all this is done by the 'outgoing parliament and government'). No doubt this delayed the eventual formation of a government by a couple of weeks, not that it really makes a tangible difference. After all we took the record for longest time without a federal government from Iraq some years ago (589 days / 2010-2011), Of course this was recently beaten by Northern Ireland (still counting AFAIK, which would make it 975 days). I'm sure our politicians are hard at work to beat this new record and put Flanoonistan back on the map in style.

Somewhat amusing given current events in London trying to get ‘independence from Brussels’ (in the way news outlets have of conflating the capital with the country/union they are actually referring to). If they’d known what was going to happen 75 years later, Flanoonistan might still be under British martial law.

Not that this will matter much to T&T soon: they will be consigned to the sharp pencil-lined snake pit of history (after a fight to the death by von Killinger at the doorstep of the Vodcabunker).

 

[uberjedi]

We are only 25 days away from the 8th year celebration of the start of this thread.

The readers are all still holding their breath in excitement of the swift progress of the story.
The war seems to be totally open.
Anything can happen and any side could win.

 

[nuclearslurpee]

Anything can happen and any side could win.

A very candid opinion, here. Truly, either the Allies or the Comintern can win here, but to not even consider the Axis as a side is the height of diplomatic insult!

 

[El Pip]

The lack of impact should come as no surprise here, as given that the Cabinet in question is planning for Total War instead of Hearts of Iron I would expect any such plan to be entirely inapplicable.

The Total War:Slovakia DLC was not well received, all the armies were limited to blunt sticks as the only weapons and the tech tree was disabled.

Ah, so this whole, ahem, bull-show could have been avoided if the paperwork for starting a war were even half so nightmarish as that for re-surrendering. One hopes for the benefit of the common man that such a procedure will be implemented in the post-war setting.

You under-estimate the German love of paperwork, they are in a close tie with India on the subject. Well the Indian civil service anyway, I don't believe the average Indian is particularly enamoured with the Licence Raj.

I believe the term here is "dotted line", though I imagine Slovakia may only be dimly aware of the existence of such an elaborate military doctrine, if even the related geometrical concept.

They must have dotted lines. Surely. There are cave paintings carbon dated to at least 20,000 years ago that have dotted lines. They cannot keep regressing or they will end up losing the ability of speech and eventually devolving back into Australopithecus or worse.

I'm sure the Germans won't notice Vienna lacks a Garrison now, so I guess the city is fair game for the Allies.

If the Allies want it of course.

I've commented on the word Flanoonistan before, and it's fine by me. It really does recognise the political (and practical) reality of confederalism in my country. Surrealism as an art form could only have been invented in a country like Flanoonistan. Short update on Belgian politics at the national level:

Spoiler

We still don't have a new government since the elections in May (business as usual). The previous prime minister who remained head of the caretaker government will be vacating his post as of next week to take up the role of President of the European Council. (this was the result of a complex process at the European level which I won't delve into at this juncture) This lead to a second set of negotiations about who should take his place while negotiations drag on for the formation of a new government with no end in sight. They did manage to select the new Prime Minister of the caretaker government in time, a senior member of the same party as the outgoing one. (all this is done by the 'outgoing parliament and government'). No doubt this delayed the eventual formation of a government by a couple of weeks, not that it really makes a tangible difference. After all we took the record for longest time without a federal government from Iraq some years ago (589 days / 2010-2011), Of course this was recently beaten by Northern Ireland (still counting AFAIK, which would make it 975 days). I'm sure our politicians are hard at work to beat this new record and put Flanoonistan back on the map in style.

I am pleased you continue to take the name in the spirit it is intended. Thank you for the latest government update, they always entertaining and informative. I can also give you some good news; Guinness World Records have confirmed that Northern Ireland doesn't count, as it 's only a devolved assembly and Westminster can still pass laws if required so Northern Ireland technically is still governed. This means Flanoonistan will still hold the 'official' record, even as Northern Ireland smashes through 1,000 days without government.

Not that this will matter much to T&T soon: they will be consigned to the sharp pencil-lined snake pit of history (after a fight to the death by von Killinger at the doorstep of the Vodcabunker).

Some of this may occur. Some of it may not.

We are only 25 days away from the 8th year celebration of the start of this thread.

The readers are all still holding their breath in excitement of the swift progress of the story.
The war seems to be totally open.
Anything can happen and any side could win.

A three year gap between posts! Welcome back. Or if you have been lurking, welcome out of the lurk. That anniversary has sneaked up on me, the terrifyingly swift progress has left me disorientated so who knows what it has done to the poor readers? I had hoped to get things wrapped up by then but realistically I doubt it, I am still aiming for an end of the year finish though.

A very candid opinion, here. Truly, either the Allies or the Comintern can win here, but to not even consider the Axis as a side is the height of diplomatic insult!

I read that as @uberjedi wisely refusing to rule out a technical Axis victory due to Japan holding out until the end of the game.

This is an entirely feasible outcome, who would be surprised if the US AI got confused and used all it's nukes on Ecuador?

 

[GeneralUrist]

The full extent of Japan's audacity in asking for a second Dutch surrender not shown. It would have been a bit rude to surrender just after the British have gone to all the effort of liberating them, plus the paper work of re-surrendering would have been a nightmare, so the Hague decided to stay in the war.

What the hell happened here? What sort of coding makes it possible for Holland to try surrendering to Japan after they get their homeland back?

Speaking of Japan, how is the war in the Pacific going?

 

[nuclearslurpee]

What the hell happened here? What sort of coding makes it possible for Holland to try surrendering to Japan after they get their homeland back?

Speaking of Japan, how is the war in the Pacific going?

Most likely what happened is that Japan still occupied all of the Dutch SEA/Pacific colonies, which account for a fairly large proportion (approximately 2/3) of the Dutch VPs. Clearly Paradox, in their infinite wisdom, knew that the value of scattered colonies far outweighed the value of the Dutch homeland in surrender calculations.

So when the British "liberated" the Netherlands, they were probably immediately at 100% surrender progress and triggered that whole mess again.

Of course, clearly what really happened is that the British were trying to offload responsibility for the Dutch onto the Japanese, who would have fallen for this nefarious scheme had the Dutch not balked at the required paperwork. Ahh, history!