16th January 1945
16th January 1945
Tiso and Tuka are attending the High Command Shed for their regular briefing of the status of the War and Slovakia's contribution to it. The second part of this process rarely takes long. Tiso attempts to bring the meeting to order, but is distracted by relentless sobbing.
"What is is Baron?" He asks Von Killinger.
"Terrible news from the Fatherland, the Poles are at the gates of Munich!" He wailed.
A worried murmur went around the Slovak General Staff.
"Worse, there is only a single Hungarian division to defend it. They may be wearing German hats, but I just cannot trust the 16th Random Collection of Unpronounceable Consonants to die properly for the Fuhrer." Von Killinger let his head fall back onto the table.
Leaving their head of intelligence to weep to himself, Tiso once more tried to start the meeting.
"Is there any news from the Slovak front?" He asked with due trepidation.
"Yes." General Kubela said.
Tuka just stared angrily until the General gave in.
"The 1st (No Longer Frozen) Division has returned from the Eastern Front!" Kubela said grudgingly.
Half of the army has returned to defend the could-be-either-gender-parent-land. This is not as impressive as it sounds. But it is still more impressive than the quite terrible Axis defence of the Slovako-Austrian Front. Those divisions should be on the front line, not wandering around central Austria.
"They have taken up position in the fortress of Šamorín behind the river Danube. This will give them a clear advantage over any attacker." Malar explained.
"The Allies are strong and have impressive air support, will they be able to hold?" Tuka asked dubiously.
"We are confident General Turanec and his men can hold until the 2nd Division arrive." Malar said.
"General Jurech reports he is just outside the mostly pointless town of Tuttlingen in Southern Germany." Kubela said.
"And once the 2nd (Legendary Parisian Heroes) Divsion arrive, we can push the Allies back?" Tiso asked hopefully.
"Not a chance, we'd need support from Germany and they are far too busy elsewhere. We are going to get utterly crushed once the Allies get their logistic sorted." Kubela said.
"But we should be able to hold long enough for everyone to get back to Bratislava where we can all get defeated together, which is nice." Malar smiled.
Tuka was too depressed even to shout.
"Any non-military news?" Tiso asked, desperate to change the subject before his demons returned.
"There is another message from Janko Jesenksy." Fritz handed over the sheet.
A spy was sent by the pope
Hunting for azeotrope
His Dominican style
Stood out a mile
This stands as a clear indictment of idealist ontology and demonstrates why epistemical relativist must be utterly condemned in the search for Truth.
The assembled cabinet looked blankly in bafflement.
"What's an azeotrope?" Tiso eventually asked.
"It is a vapour-liquid fluid at an equilibrium that has a large deviation from Raoult's Law. Discovered by the inestimable chemists Wade and Merriman, the name is derived from the Greek I believe." Pruzinsky explained. Or said some words at least.
The blank looks demonstrated this had not in fact helped comprehension.
"The most common example is the azeotrope between water and an ethyl group linked to a hydroxyl group." Pruzinksy continued.
The blankness also continued.
"That mix would typically be called Alcohol." Pruzinksy sighed.
The room erupted into a panic.
"The Pope is using his Papal Caribbean Spies to try to steal the Slovakian national strategic hipflask reserve!" Tiso cried.
"That is why we keep being infiltrated by Spies from the Dominican Republic." Fritz nodded in realisation.
"There can be no other explanation." Tiso said.
"Pope Pius XII really hasn't forgiven you for the incident has he?" Tuka said.
Tiso glared.
"We do not talk about the incident." He growled. "Tell Jesenky to make this his top priority."
A messenger was despatched to tell the famed anti-fascist critical realist poet to continue his efforts to stop the Pope using spies from the Domician Republic to steal Supreme Vodca Tiso's hipflask refills.
"Any other news?" Tiso asked the room.
Part-Time-Vice-Under Minister for Foreign Affairs Durcansky looked at the telegram in his hand. It couldn't be that important so he kept his mouth shut.
This is clearly unimportant.
Meanwhile, in the Palace of Great Happiness in the Bhutanese Capital Punakha the Dragon King is discussing the latest news.
"Why are their piles of rusty bicycles outside the palace?" King Jigme Wangchuk asked.
"The people have spontaneously donated metal to help the war effort." Hereditary Prime Minister Sonam Dorji replied.
"Is it actually helpful?"
"Not as such." Dorji admitted. "We have run out of everything, so we can't actually use it."
"Do the people know that?" King Wangchuk asked suspiciously.
"Probably. We think it might be a deliberate reaction to your recent cabinet changes."
"Are they not popular? You do agree we needed to reform the government after those recent leaks."
"People are asking questions about the appointment of Mang-pos Bhur-ba'i rgyalpo." Dorji confessed.
"Why?"
"You do know that isn't a person. It's just part of your official title as King." Dorji confronted the monarch.
"So they noticed that? Bugger." King Wangchuk said sadly
---
Notes:
The Dominican Republic is now on Spy No.3 in Slovakia, this explanation makes as much sense as any.
The Slovako-Austrian Front really is not going well for the Axis, but at least one division got back in time.
While I am trying to wean myself off broken cabinet posts, because it's not really new or interesting at this point, the Bhutanese cock up did make me smile. Mang-pos Bhur-ba'i rgyalpo translates as His Majesty. There are a couple of minister with this name available to appoint, amongst all the random British war heroes, long dead Sikh Gurus and other such horrors in the Bhutanese government.
Tiso and Tuka are attending the High Command Shed for their regular briefing of the status of the War and Slovakia's contribution to it. The second part of this process rarely takes long. Tiso attempts to bring the meeting to order, but is distracted by relentless sobbing.
"What is is Baron?" He asks Von Killinger.
"Terrible news from the Fatherland, the Poles are at the gates of Munich!" He wailed.
A worried murmur went around the Slovak General Staff.
"Worse, there is only a single Hungarian division to defend it. They may be wearing German hats, but I just cannot trust the 16th Random Collection of Unpronounceable Consonants to die properly for the Fuhrer." Von Killinger let his head fall back onto the table.
Leaving their head of intelligence to weep to himself, Tiso once more tried to start the meeting.
"Is there any news from the Slovak front?" He asked with due trepidation.
"Yes." General Kubela said.
Tuka just stared angrily until the General gave in.
"The 1st (No Longer Frozen) Division has returned from the Eastern Front!" Kubela said grudgingly.
Half of the army has returned to defend the could-be-either-gender-parent-land. This is not as impressive as it sounds. But it is still more impressive than the quite terrible Axis defence of the Slovako-Austrian Front. Those divisions should be on the front line, not wandering around central Austria.
"They have taken up position in the fortress of Šamorín behind the river Danube. This will give them a clear advantage over any attacker." Malar explained.
"The Allies are strong and have impressive air support, will they be able to hold?" Tuka asked dubiously.
"We are confident General Turanec and his men can hold until the 2nd Division arrive." Malar said.
"General Jurech reports he is just outside the mostly pointless town of Tuttlingen in Southern Germany." Kubela said.
"And once the 2nd (Legendary Parisian Heroes) Divsion arrive, we can push the Allies back?" Tiso asked hopefully.
"Not a chance, we'd need support from Germany and they are far too busy elsewhere. We are going to get utterly crushed once the Allies get their logistic sorted." Kubela said.
"But we should be able to hold long enough for everyone to get back to Bratislava where we can all get defeated together, which is nice." Malar smiled.
Tuka was too depressed even to shout.
"Any non-military news?" Tiso asked, desperate to change the subject before his demons returned.
"There is another message from Janko Jesenksy." Fritz handed over the sheet.
A spy was sent by the pope
Hunting for azeotrope
His Dominican style
Stood out a mile
This stands as a clear indictment of idealist ontology and demonstrates why epistemical relativist must be utterly condemned in the search for Truth.
The assembled cabinet looked blankly in bafflement.
"What's an azeotrope?" Tiso eventually asked.
"It is a vapour-liquid fluid at an equilibrium that has a large deviation from Raoult's Law. Discovered by the inestimable chemists Wade and Merriman, the name is derived from the Greek I believe." Pruzinsky explained. Or said some words at least.
The blank looks demonstrated this had not in fact helped comprehension.
"The most common example is the azeotrope between water and an ethyl group linked to a hydroxyl group." Pruzinksy continued.
The blankness also continued.
"That mix would typically be called Alcohol." Pruzinksy sighed.
The room erupted into a panic.
"The Pope is using his Papal Caribbean Spies to try to steal the Slovakian national strategic hipflask reserve!" Tiso cried.
"That is why we keep being infiltrated by Spies from the Dominican Republic." Fritz nodded in realisation.
"There can be no other explanation." Tiso said.
"Pope Pius XII really hasn't forgiven you for the incident has he?" Tuka said.
Tiso glared.
"We do not talk about the incident." He growled. "Tell Jesenky to make this his top priority."
A messenger was despatched to tell the famed anti-fascist critical realist poet to continue his efforts to stop the Pope using spies from the Domician Republic to steal Supreme Vodca Tiso's hipflask refills.
"Any other news?" Tiso asked the room.
Part-Time-Vice-Under Minister for Foreign Affairs Durcansky looked at the telegram in his hand. It couldn't be that important so he kept his mouth shut.
This is clearly unimportant.
Meanwhile, in the Palace of Great Happiness in the Bhutanese Capital Punakha the Dragon King is discussing the latest news.
"Why are their piles of rusty bicycles outside the palace?" King Jigme Wangchuk asked.
"The people have spontaneously donated metal to help the war effort." Hereditary Prime Minister Sonam Dorji replied.
"Is it actually helpful?"
"Not as such." Dorji admitted. "We have run out of everything, so we can't actually use it."
"Do the people know that?" King Wangchuk asked suspiciously.
"Probably. We think it might be a deliberate reaction to your recent cabinet changes."
"Are they not popular? You do agree we needed to reform the government after those recent leaks."
"People are asking questions about the appointment of Mang-pos Bhur-ba'i rgyalpo." Dorji confessed.
"Why?"
"You do know that isn't a person. It's just part of your official title as King." Dorji confronted the monarch.
"So they noticed that? Bugger." King Wangchuk said sadly
---
Notes:
The Dominican Republic is now on Spy No.3 in Slovakia, this explanation makes as much sense as any.
The Slovako-Austrian Front really is not going well for the Axis, but at least one division got back in time.
While I am trying to wean myself off broken cabinet posts, because it's not really new or interesting at this point, the Bhutanese cock up did make me smile. Mang-pos Bhur-ba'i rgyalpo translates as His Majesty. There are a couple of minister with this name available to appoint, amongst all the random British war heroes, long dead Sikh Gurus and other such horrors in the Bhutanese government.
