In the Shadow of Certain, Painful Doom: Abyssinia

[Arizal]

Yes, this is really good to see an AAR in which the player isn't praising himself for his success, but continue even if he is half-dead. I read all this AAR and it is one of the best I read so far. It makes me wanting to play a Byzantine count in Anatolia during the muslim invasion. It would be similar to Tesfaye's glorious reign, but would lack the tarnished glory of the stripped kingdom.

And all of them still hate Tesfaye, after what he did for them! If he hadn't convert, you would be out of the empire and dead since long.

 

[unmerged(87122)]

Oh, dear, that rebel-baboon alliance someone mentioned sounds terrifying. In fact, they already may be allied. I mean, the baboons did kill Tesfaye's son and heir, Tesfaye. (Not to be confused with Tesfaye's grandson and heir, Young Tesfaye, or his great-grandson and heir's heir, Very Young Tesfaye.) Gee, going over all these generations, it really is surprising how long Tesfaye's lived, considering everyone hates him and he has little to no marketable skills.

 

[Philo32b]

@ John Forseti & SaintEsteban. Yes, I think I’m off a bit on the rebel size thing. I remembered it was keyed off something of the player, but I was fuzzy on the details.

@ Gedierond. Thanks—I appreciate it! And good luck with the Russian count game. You might want to wait until the next patch, as I hear there will be a Russian Empire you can create.

@ Aldriq. That would be nice!

@ Athalcor. England does frequently crusade in the Holy Land, don’t they? I hadn’t noticed before you mentioned it.

@ InnocentIII & Kohrmeh. So fezzes can either indicate the presence of coolness or evilness, right?

@ tnick0225, grumphie, tnick0225, & grumphie. With all the baboons, camel spiders (I might have to steal these ), implacable peasants, camel stampedes, African killing sun, and an occasional infidel thrown in, I don’t think the Byzantines are sending enough troops.

@ Rfish12. Thanks for the assassination tip! It is another good reason to start with the less-well protected heirs. Your advice puts the image in my head of throwing the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch throw the window as the ruler’s extended family is eating dinner.

@ alhoward. Thank you! And yes, all that’s left is for Tesfaye, his grandson, and his grandson’s wife to quickly die off and we can begin rising from the ashes… until the angry Monophysite God notices and invents some new horrible tribulations to cast upon us.

@ monsterfurby & grumphie. Yes, I very much doubt that the Caliph cares that Byzantium “stole” Sennar out from under them, and your scenes are probably right on with his reaction.

@ Rfish12. Thanks! And I can’t think of a better place to showcase the AAR than "Your greatest CK2 Disaster"! LOL. Although, perhaps, “Your greatest CK2 disaster in which the victims linger on in painful suffering but never quite die” might edge it out by a nose.

@ Frederic III. Thank you! And I agree that a Byzantine count in Anatolia sounds like a fun game. And yes, it is ironic that all of them hate Tesfaye when you are exactly right that the Caliph would have long conquered it were it not for the conversion.

@ LordCowles. Yes, it really is amazing how long Tesfaye has simply survived despite everything stacked against him. Perhaps the Monophysite God is not against him after all, but is actually working to preserve him? The ragged condition of Tesfaye’s condition is all the One-Natured God can do, given what there was to work with.

 

[Philo32b]

Chapter 50

The Byzantine army, sent to rescue Sennar, makes it to Cario, having suffered heavily in desertions and sickness in the unforgiving African climate. At which point they promptly turn around and head back for home. Apparently Sennar was not worth the trouble. The sad thing is I can only agree with their logic. I am only surprised they made it all the way to Cairo.

Despite the half-hearted help of the Byzantines, it proves to have been enough. The rebels learned that ten thousand troops were marching towards them and they quickly dispersed like a troop of Gelada Baboons caught stealing grain. I can return home.

Before we return home, however, we are going to make a religious pilgrimage to Antioch, where Sennar’s patron saint Severus was Patriarch some 600 years before. I am not the cynical man of my youth—perhaps observances like a pilgrimage could aid Sennar luck by showing the One-Natured God our true devotion?

Perhaps not, for immediately after arriving in Antioch two events occur…

My grandson’s wife dies a “natural death,” which in Byzantium usually means we just don’t know who the assassins were. In my wife’s case, we do know—it is my sister. What possible reason could she have to murder my wife?

On receiving these reports so soon after reaching Antioch I can only wonder... is all my trouble stemming from the lost knuckle bone relic of Severus?

 

[aldriq]

Fate was simply sharpening its daggers while you thought it had left Sennar alone...

 

[Athalcor]

Yeah, England is the most active crusader almost always. Why - I don't know.

 

[Held der Arbeit]

Ouch. Did she manage to spawn a little Zagwe at least?

It would be harsh to see the tiny speck of hope on the horizon for your Dynasty disappear like that

 

[alhoward]

Where is the knuckle-bone?!? The fate of your dynasty rests upon it!

 

[tnick0225]

aww the one natured god strikes yet again!! Hopefully there is a Zagwe baby the duchess spawned otherwise I foretell another generation of little Tesfaye's having to run in fear of the massive tribes of baboons that are on the horizon. Besides I thought natural causes meant the baboons got her

Also do look into stealing some camel spiders on your way back from Antioch

 

[unmerged(378508)]

Yeah, England is the most active crusader almost always. Why - I don't know.

It's probably that famous English Summer, aka rain. Not that it doesn't rain the rest of the year. King Richard Lionhearted remarked that he would have gladly sold all of England for more troops to invade France.

 

[LordNeidhart]

On receiving these reports so soon after reaching Antioch I can only wonder... is all my trouble stemming from the lost knuckle bone relic of Severus?

Well, just wait until they manage to summon Azathoth with the bloody thing. Also, I'd say you had quite an improvement when it comes to your relations with your liege! The previous one decided to actively sabotage every single of your attempts at success, this one just makes half-assed attempts to help before shrugging, deciding it's not worth it then going back to impaling things.

 

[Leztoon]

This AAR is excellent, I hope your great grandson survives. He seems like your only hope at the moment

 

[Philo32b]

@ aldriq. Was it Aristotle that said, "Say no one lived a happy life until he is dead"? I think it is fair to say with Tesfaye that the opposite is not true. He's not yet dead, and I think he would be the first to admit that he's lived an unhappy life.

@ Athalcor & Rfish12. Whatever the cause of the English crusading habits, it helps keep the Caliphate in check in this game.

@ Held der Arbeit & tnick0225. Yes, Teophano had some children. Fortunately Tesfaye's grandson was a lusty fellow.

@ tnick0225. You're right that natural causes does mean baboon death in Sennar. In Byzantium it means death by unknown assassin or assassins.

@ alhoward & LordNeidhart. Don't worry, the knuckle bone is biding its time for the proper moment to strike.

@ LordNeidhart. LOL. It is sad when an improved liege is one who is slightly concerned about your survival but largely apathetic... and when one who likes to impale things is an improvement over your last liege.

@ Leztoon. Thank you! And yes, Tesfaye's great grandson is important to the dynasty, but as you'll see in today's post there is actually a great-great grandson now (and two great-great grand daughters), so we could lose a couple now and still be OK.

 

[Philo32b]

Chapter 51

My grandson’s wife had three children, so my lineage’s possession of this duchy is relatively safe. My grandson’s liege is now his 11-year old son. That will probably annoy him to no end, and so he will probably redouble his efforts to kill me and take my county.

My grandson didn’t waste any time in getting remarried. She has high martial skills, but that is useless for a non-ruler like my grandson. So for the life of me I cannot figure out why he picked this particular woman to be his wife. The only thing I can think of is her name, Theophano, reminds him of his late wife, Teophano. She is slothful and gregarious, so I’m hoping she doesn’t get any ideas about murdering her new husband’s children. Any children she would have would still be part of my dynasty, but with my luck she would have an imbecile dwarf with syphilis as her eldest son.

After visiting Antioch we travel out towards Persia. Antioch was a fascinating place—but then again, I’m easily impressed by any place that is not constantly beset with Gelada Baboons, rebellious peasants, camel spiders, and too much sand. While there, I learned about the principal local saint, Simeon Stylites, who lived a short time before our own Severus of Antioch. Simeon was an extreme ascetic who stayed on top of a pillar for 40 years a little way to the East of Antioch. Our own Severus, of course, practiced his asceticism of never bathing. I would have recommended to both of them ruling in Sennar as a form of asceticism: a bit less drastic as never bathing or living on top of a column, perhaps, but certainly in the neigborhood.

At some point my court chaplain must have died. Did the peasants kill him and nobody told me? I am happy to elect my loyal fan Kallinikos as the new chaplain. How can it hurt that he’s mediocre?

I notice that Kallinikos has the desire for marriage, so I find him a wife. It is not easy, because he is low born so I must find another low born willing to marry someone in Sennar. But eventually I find a Danish wife for him. After appointing him to council and finding him a bride, I don’t think anyone has loved me as much as Kallinikos.

My chaplain position was easy--I don't care about the cultural development of Sennar and I am the bishop in my own county. But who will be the next spymaster is extremely important and a decision that should merit much careful thought.

 

[grumphie]

WORLD NEWS

youre liked by someone.

 

[tnick0225]

Hmmm a greek lowborn married to a danish lowborn I have a feeling this coupling could spawn some murderous progeny. Danish/greek mixed kids are born with daggers in their hands

 

[Gedierond]

What I find amazing is that people keep referring to Tesfaye as "heroic"! Although I gotta admit, surviving in Sennar is kind of heroic by itself...

 

[richvh]

The peasants continue to be the real power in Sennar. They lead successful rebellions, kill tax collectors, and never get punished.

Isn't just being in Sennar punishment enough?

 

[LordNeidhart]

I can picture it perfectly. First Tesfaye has someone that does not hate him in his court, which is when things start to look slightly better.
Then the mongols decide to invade.
From Ethiopia.

 

[grumphie]

while making a deal with the baboons and camel spiders to open the gates of the "fortress". while a jihad is beign called against you.

actually, abysinia is doing great in my current sicily game. the shia caliphate is being messed up by a crusade(thats been running for decades), though theyre now having a short breathing space due the HRE having problems back home(and poland inherited brunswuck) so they actually managed to RECLAIM axum from the shia caliphate, now preparing to march on harer. i guess they DINDT los ethe holy chunklebone, nor were the sinkhole of peity in the world. i think im going to help them. i ave no intrest in lands past egypt anyway.