Impo- Difficult Victory: A Japan Mod 34 VE/A AAR

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21. OPERATION BULBASOAR​

In preparation for the Operation, 30,000 NEW IMPERIAL GUARDS PREPARE FOR GLORY! Our Imperial Guard is now the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we... wait, I've done that bit.

On April 30, OPERATION BULBASOAR (to soar on the wings of the Gods to victory) begins! The Chinese foe, vast in numbers and totally outnumbered by our numberless, outmanned troops, CRUMBLES! 58 Japanese divisions in theatre PREPARE FOR GLORY!

The Imperial Guard are the first on the scene. Will they hold? WILL THEY?

OF COURSE THEY HOLD! STAND YOUR GROUND, SONS OF KYUSHU! OF HONSHU!

MY BROTHERS!

Operation Bulbasoar continues apace, with TWO ATTACKS AT ONCE, totally bamboozling the inferior Chinese Generals!

Fun history fact: Many Chinese Generals in this period did not even know how to read a map.

Sadly, the GLORIOUS cowards of the IMPERIAL GUARD are not VICTORIOUS in Fuyang and have to retreat to allow the main army to secure that province.

THE CHINESE BELIEVE THEY CAN THUS NEGOTIATE FROM A POSITION OF STRENGTH! We laugh them all the way to HELL.

The cowardly retreaters are forgiven - as they are just TOO GLORIOUS. They head North to continue Operation Bulbasoar.

BUT WILL THEY SUCCEED?

(Yes)

 

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this is a pretty cool aar. its actually made me laugh out loud about twice which never happens on most 'funny' aars, so nice work you made me crack a smile

 

[Myth]

Wait, so are men from Shikoku or Hokkaido not your brothers?

 

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Wait, so are men from Shikoku or Hokkaido not your brothers?

No they're not. Fuckers.

this is a pretty cool aar. its actually made me laugh out loud about twice which never happens on most 'funny' aars, so nice work you made me crack a smile

Thank you... brother.

Ah ah ah...puns...you probably work for 4Kids on the side.

Im not sure why but it feels appropriate.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1764124

YES!

PERFECT!

 

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Fun history fact: Many Chinese Generals in this period did not even know how to read a map.

whaaat, seriously?

 

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For reals, my friend.

 

[ColossusCrusher]

4Kids is a tool of Chiang. He must be destroyed lest it be created in the future.

 

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4kids is a tool of chiang. He must be destroyed lest it be created in the future.

Curse you, Chiang!

 

[Nathan Madien]

For reals, my friend.

That helps explain things...like why you haven't rolled them over yet.

 

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That helps explain things...like why you haven't rolled them over yet.

Why you always gotta be talkin smack, Nathan?

 

[Nathan Madien]

Why you always gotta be talkin smack, Nathan?

Because...for a country that claims to be the most powerful and most glorious in the world...Japan really hasn't proven it.

The reason for my smack is simple. Until Japan can conquer countries at a drop of a hat, I am going to mock "glorious and invincible Japan" for all its' worth.

Besides, it's all just for fun. I want Japan to succeed.

 

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Oh yeah?

That's what Hitler would have said.


Yeah, I said it.

 

[trekaddict]

Oh yeah?

That's what Hitler would have said.


Yeah, I said it.

Godwins law!

 

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22. OPERATION BULBASOAR... PART TWO!​

A long-ass fuckin' time ago
In a town called Heifei
There was a tiny army
For the sins of China did they pay

But yea, there was a counter
But we knew just what to do
The plan was to flank the attackers
And to break their defence line
A vision we did see of fucking ruling all of Chine

We smashed their puny armies
and O the planets did align

*comical sound of record being stopped*

WHAT! How could the VAST TINY armies of the Communist MONSTER have beaten our brave troopermen? This is more Chinese treachery!

CURSE YOU, CHIANG!

Sorry, did I say curse? I MEANT CONQUER CHINA AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAA

You suck, Chiang.

Our top intelligence operative, Colonel Nishi-Nofog, compiles this comparison of the armies arrayed against us. FULLY FOUR MILLION Chinese vampire terrorist ninja ghosts face our brave forces in theatre which number a mere 2.3 MILLION.

THE ENEMY OUTNUMBERS US A MERE 1.7 TO ONE!

GOOD ODDS FOR ANY GREEK

 

[Myth]

Nishi Nofog!

 

[ColossusCrusher]

That Colonel must be awarded a medal for his valiant efforts. *nods*

What song did you rip off at first?

 

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That Colonel must be awarded a medal for his valiant efforts. *nods*

What song did you rip off at first?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvvjiE4AdUI

Tenacious D again.

 

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rawr, MOAR COMMENTS

And I'll update later today.

 

[Onni_Manni]

Good odds to any Greek... but are they good enough for the Japanese?

 

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23. OPERATION DUGONG​

Named in honour of C'est Moi

Operation Dugong begins with the FINAL GAINING OF COASTAL CONTROL. NOW JAPAN'S NAVY HAS NOTHING TO FEAR FROM THE NONEXISTENT CHINESE FLEET

And soon our GLORIOUS FORCES SHALL KNOW OF FIRE SUPPORT

OPERATION ICE BEAM kicks into gear with a SWAMP ASSAULT

BILLIONS DIE

TRILLIONS MORE YET LIVE

BUT SOON SHALL KNOW THE STEEL OF JAPAN'S LEGIONS

VICTORY IS ASSURED

ASSURED

ASSURED I TELL YOU

HAAAAAGH

CURSE YOU, CHIANG!