• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

HIMDogson

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Absolutism in SPACE baby! That doesn't mean that you need to conquer the world, though.
 

ducevans

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Looking forward to HRE into Space! Wonder if the Chinese will escape to the stars before the end of the war.
 

dragoon9105

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Chapter 15: Swinging on a Star

(Celtic Propaganda Poster during the 'The Seige')​

While War was raging in germany the battle for Britain had only continued to grow in importance. Hundreds of aircraft tied up in Spain and North Africa now were relocated to bases in France. Newer aircraft such as the upgraded ISB-41F and Fe-40 G Mod 42 had also begun to flood into the growing number of airbases along the french countryside. The Celts still had a crack airforce of Veteran Pilots but now simply running out of Fuel and replacement planes in which to fly out missions against the Empire.​


The Tide had now effectively turned in the skies with bombers making bi daily passes on major Celtic cities across southern Britain. CB-17's with their superior range were diverted to bombing crucial targets of opportunity in Scotland and Ireland. Even at sea the Island was no longer safe, as the Imperial U-boat core, an often neglected and ignored section of the navy had deployed to Brittany and was now, alongside the IAF intercepting Sudamerikan supply ships destined for Ireland and Wales.

The new Holy Roman Campaign as become known simply as 'The Seige' and would right up until the end of the war. The Birthplace of Fascism, the great cultural and economic heart of the old Breton Empire was burned, bombed was reduced to dust. Greater Albion's industry didn't fare better and by war's end the only functional Celtic mass production capability was located in essentially, underground bunkers in Wales and Scotland.​


In an effort to defend the Home Isles the Celt's had made great strides in the fields of Radar technologies to detect submarines and aircraft. From Radar stations these detections would often be relayed, in code to the CAF or CDN. What did not become apparent however was that German Radio codes had become compromised very early in the war and had since been broken, meaning that Celtic Radar was responsible for some far more major failed missions.

Plans for what was being called a 'Turing Machine' were stolen by brave Imperial Spies within Greater Albion and what ensued would be one of the most daring intelligence operations to date involving the use of an entire bomber unit, Paratroopers and the most advanced Imperial Submarine technology.


(Alan Turing, Father of the 'Computing Machine', 1944)​

In late November CB-17's deployed Holy Roman commando's outside the Turing Machine lab in Scotland before their scheduled bombing assignment at edinburgh. Working with the brave Scottish resistance the Imperial Wartime Intelligence (IWI) agents managed to successfully abduct Turing and a small number of his team and bring them to a waiting Submarine off the Scottish Coastline.

Months after his arrival in a secret lab in the Alps, Turing had reproduced a second machine called 'Christopher' which many assumed was named after the Crown Prince. (Turing would later state Celtic Intelligence forced him to name his first machine the Mosley and he had intended Christopher to be the name for the first machine). The New Machine would eventually crack the Celtic Codes just as easily as it had the Imperial ones. Much of the work however would be classified and computing machines such as Mosely and Christopher would be destroyed by war's end to prevent the technology from compromising the War effort in China.


(Soviet Pow's marching west after the fall of Nizhny Novgorod,1942)
Back east winter Nizhny Novgorod, the secondary capital of the Soviet Union had fallen, and with it the remaining aspects of the Russian Government. Joseph Stalin had managed to escape the city well in advance and had promised to keep fighting from beyond the Urals. Though with Siberia as it was, and Russia's manpower reserves practically empty, any continued fight by Russia would not be Russian it would be Chinese.


Perhaps realizing this the remaining soviet leadership had finally proven Stalin's paranoia true and had him arrested and delivered to the Holy Roman Empire alongside terms of peace by mid January 1943. Across the front across the frozen terrain Soviet Troops had begun to lay down their arms. The War had lasted over three years in Russia, and for it to suddenly stop took some adjusting for the Imperial army, especially the large influx of Pow's as the Russians were fond of not only sending Soldiers but civilians of all colors to die on the front throughout the war.

In the Empire itself there would be a celebration as great as if the war itself had ended. It had not, China and the Greeks still fought on of course, but the Holy Roman Empire's once longtime ally was now liberated from the Socialist Hydra. Russia, the true birthplace of modern democracy and ally in both the Napoleonic and First World Wars was free once again. Unfortunately some would not live to see such a great day.


(Victor I Czar of Russia in Exile shortly before his death in August 1942)
The Von Hannover Dynasty of Victoria and Victor had survived in exile despite the loss of their Empire to the communists after the first World War. Czar Victor who's ambitions arguably started the Great War had been the one to see his beloved Russia fall from grace as a True great power and into a totalitarian, communist state. One would expect the second great war would be seen as a good thing as it meant a potential restoration of the Russian monarchy, and yet for Victor it wasn't who grew ever more regretful and depressed in his old age. Eventually Victor would die, just four months before the surrender of the Soviets, though his body would later be brought to Moscow to be buried beside his Mother.


(Czar Alexander Hanover-Bonaparte IX)
Victor had outlived all but one of his children and his wife. His surviving daughter, Anastasia von Hanover not expecting to inherit had married in the old custom to a Bonaparte of Italy and had adopted her Husband's name. While there was substantial support to not support a Russian restoration, Empress Octavia had forced the issue, and instructed Pope Pius XII to coronate Anastasia's first born Alexander as Czar without any of the involved parties' prior consent. Alexander who was serving in the Imperial Navy at the time, was given an honorable discharge and under pressure from both the Church and Austrian government accepted the crown, taking on the name Czar Alexander the Ninth of House Hanover-Bonaparte, Emperor of all the Russia's and protector of the Slavic Peoples.


(General Iosef Zhukov, One of the prominent members of the Russian Wartime Government, He defected shortly after the fall of Moscow)​

The Transition would be difficult of course, Alexander was a nobody in the now, under occupation remains of Stalinist Russia. Culturally Italian the boy was a foreigner with few friends even among the Monarchists. The Military Alexander understood however and the young Czar found himself fast friends with the Russian provisional government that was being organized to fight the Chinese and Greeks.

Many of these exiles had questionable backgrounds and later investigation revealed that at least some of them had ties to Fascist resistance movements during Soviet control of the country. Russia's future of course was not the Holy Roman Empire's problem, not yet anyway. There was still a much larger target still in play.


The Bear was now back with the Empire, weary and weak as it was. The Axis were now surrounded on all sides, and their time was now rapidly running out.

(Prototype of the HPz.43 'Lion')​


 

HIMDogson

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The mission to get Turing out would make a great MGS game.
...yes, I am playing it for the first time, why do you ask?
 

TheAnguishedOne

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Considering how he was historically treated, it's nice seeing Turing get some good fortune here.

It's been a long time now, but having Russia as an ally again is wonderful, especially considering you recently got your borders back. Czar Alexander Hanover-Bonaparte IX is going to have a rough time, but he has a powerful backer in his corner.
 

TheButterflyComposer

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Considering how he was historically treated, it's nice seeing Turing get some good fortune here.

It's been a long time now, but having Russia as an ally again is wonderful, especially considering you recently got your borders back. Czar Alexander Hanover-Bonaparte IX is going to have a rough time, but he has a powerful backer in his corner.
I don't know...having him being in an absolutist, devotedly catholic state probably isn't going to be good for him. In fact, probably worse.

At least the Americans didn't get loads of free tech from everyone though! HRE now has massive advantage over everyone else on the planet.
 

HIMDogson

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Or, you know, since this world diverged over a millennium ago he could not be gay in the first place.
 

dragoon9105

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Chapter 16: Jingle Jangle Jingle

(Tiger tank after the battle of Rostov)​

Russia now out of the war meant all efforts now were to be focused on the last European power in the Axis. The successful reconquest of Israel and defense of Crimea had opened the door for what was being described as a 'great armored pincer' attack. The Details of the plan involved the Russian and African fronts meeting up somewhere in Anatolia or Bagdad, effectively cutting Greek Occupied India and Persia off from the heartlands in Anatolia. In Asia the chinese of course needed to be distracted and so after three years the green light was finally given to advance into northern China.​


In Crimea, Puma and Tiger tanks once again proved their effectiveness by punching a glaring hole into the combined Greek/Chinese line there. As more manpower from the north trickled in the advance continued until the line had effectively pushed to the Caucuses in the South and Aral sea in the East.


Meanwhile preparations were being made for the war in China. Military command was asked to provide a multitude of plans and army doctrines that could feasibly end the war as soon as possible. The winner was 'Blitzkrieg' or 'Lightning War' that called for a modern series of tanks standardized based on weight and armament. Holy Roman infantry divisions already had a small unit of light tank support as a standard attachment would now gain an additional Light tank destroyer division for use against Type 33's and the incoming chinese Type 42 medium tanks. The plan also called for a complete modernization and standardization of the airforce as well.

The actual wartime doctrine was much the same as what had evolved in the German and Russian fronts, a swift armored advanced supported by airpower, infantry and possible naval bombardment. The assault would be primarily to seize important industrial and civilian targets while also disrupting the enemy as much as possible. Octavia and the military staff accepted the plan and work began on the development of new Standardized armor divisions by spring.


The Centerpoint of Army doctrine moving forward was the 'Standardpanzer'. While the Puma had proven to be a sufficient medium tank the original dream of the tank's sloped armor was short lived due to having a center of mass far too far forward for use in rough terrain. The jury rigged solution for the down armored Puma's was to weld on additional armored plates all over the tanks, which weighed the vehicles down considerably, making them effectively heavy tanks inferior to the more modern tiger.


(The Epz-40.01S)
Skoda had seemed to provide the perfect compromise and introduced a supersized Lpz.41. The Design, had borrowed many features from the designs of both the Luchs and Puma and also incorporated many technologies first used on the Tiger. The Skoda Panther was designed to house the Tiger's Engine and have a superior armor layout to compensate for it's lighter weight. Criticisms of the Tiger's reliability had caused Skoda to replace almost 40% of the inner workings of the tank by time of project completion.

First was the engine, which was notorious for breaking down on the tiger due to cross-company production. Skoda's new engine was a peculiar choice, The BMW 14C 1941, a modified version of the Aircraft engine designed for the IFN-42. New Engines required new tracks and by the summer of 1943 the finished Epz-40.06S was capable of going twice as fast and was far more reliable than anything German armor had yet produced, but it's original humble cost was staggeringly high. Still the tank was accepted in production and outside of replacement parts production of the Puma had stopped completly by fall. The 40.06s meanwhile would be designated the I-45 'Panther'.


Two other major contracts were on the table for the Army going forward. The Medium tank competition was well known to have been Skoda's, as the Panther had simply managed to impress the Empress with it's speed and looks. The Tank destroyer contract was looking to be much more lucrative due to Blitzkrieg calling for it's introduction in almost every frontline infantry unit.

(Epz 42.01 'Puma II' prototype)
Henschel-Porsche provided a turretless variant of the Puma. The design also included actually functional sloped armor, a superior gun and engine and was fully capable of being produced from existing Puma tanks that were originally destined for the frontline and now held back. Through no fault of the tank on it's own, much of the brass had felt that Henschel-Porsche had grown hostile at the dismissal of it's prized Puma tank and the design was barely considered.

Porsche would later find a contract selling the design in bulk to the Indian resistance who had found plenty of use for cheap tank destroyers in Persia. The Indian variant of the design would have almost all of the armor thinned or stripped off for greater speed. Several hundred Puma II tanks would also be equipped with flamethrowers for use in Jungle Combat.


(The Jagpanzer 20 'Hetzer' designated I-20J)
The Winner of the contest would again, be Skoda. The I-20 which was effectively a Pz.41 Luchs with a superior engine and radio had won light tank competition with ease which had allowed Skoda to also force the I20J through much of the approval process. The I20J was a luchs with a completly redesigned upper hull with spaced armor and a new inclusion, a Pak 75, the same gun that was being mounted on the Puma. Concerns about the Puma's gun not being suitable for the intented infantry support role had caused a repeat of the Panther debacle as Skoda struggled to fit a 10.5cm cannon onto the I-20J. New tracks, a more powerful engine and continued trimming of the already weak side armor of the vehicle finally allowed it. The result was of course a far superior tank for what was being demanded but it was also far more expensive than any light tank currently in service. Henschel Porsche and Krueger continued expressed continued disapproval over the design until the end of the war.


The final contract, and perhaps the most useless in the grand scheme of things was the Military's pet project. Theories of a 'Super Heavy Tank' concept had been floating around since the start of the war, a so called 'Land Battleship'. Experience in the war had continually proven that faster, and more longer range vehicles tended to find more success, save in situations namely urban stalemates where Heavy Tanks such as the Tiger needed to be brought in thanks to their larger caliber guns and superior armor. Command only really needed the one excuse and the contest to produce a 'Super Heavy Tank' went forward.

(The Kreuger HPz.43A 'Lion')
Kreuger with its experience with designing heavy mining vehicles for the Empire proposed what was essentially an armored pillbox. Chambering a 10.5cm Cannon (A shorter variant of which was now being mounted on the I20-J) and short 75m Gun alongside it the Lion was the better armed than the Tiger. Thanks to it's massive hull and turret it also had armor that was virtually impenetrable from all sides save the top.


(The I-100 'Säbelzahntiger')
Henschel Porsche had their own proposal, a heavily modified and up armored version of their top secret 'Bengal Tiger' project. The 'Säbelzahntiger' or Sabretooth was effectively a battleship turret with a tank built around it. Due to sloping and spaced armor the Sabretooth was even better armored than the Lion, and lacked the Lion's glaring shot trap on the turret. The armament was two of krueger's own 8.8 cm KwK 41 L/100 guns rigged to be able to fire independently of each other. For the generals there was no real contest, The Sabretooth was chosen in a heartbeat and ordered into production and given the designation I-100.


While such overinflated ego projects might not have survived if exposed to the Media, there was a far more glaring issue that was causing a stir within the Empire. The Chinese had over tens of Millions of men of fighting age. Optimistic estimates for the Empire's enlisted population was roughly two million. With the war in Asia now looking to heat up dramatically this number disparity could no longer be ignored, The Government for the first time in it's history introduced limited draft for fighting men and women between the ages of 19 and 24, which was causing some 'small' amount of uproar.


Uproar and protest however, was something the Empire was no stranger to keeping suppressed, The facts were there, War was China was here, and the Americans had begun to push. The Draft would go forward and the Third act of the war was about to begin.
 

HIMDogson

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Sabertooth? Ah hell yes. That badass name justifies the super heavy tank. Now what you need to do is name your ships things like 'Megalodon', 'Basilosaurus', and 'Liopleurodon'.
 

TheAnguishedOne

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The draft is a desperate move, but fairly necessary considering the numbers against you. I'm sure the HRE will do away with it once the war ends as it won't be necessary.
 

TheButterflyComposer

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Or, you know, since this world diverged over a millennium ago he could not be gay in the first place.
While that possible, I figure that if you are going to use historical domain characters (tvtropes for da win) and not similar but OCs, you should probably try to make them like what they seemed to be like or give reasons as to why they wouldn't be.

As for the draft...this was the first time the absolute monarch used it? Ever? Given the truly horrible wars the empire has found itself in the past, this is truly a massive achievement up till now. I can foresee a time when 'national service' is much more accepted and commonplace however, especially in the postwar European nations. And definitely in the empire itself.
 

zenphoenix

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While that possible, I figure that if you are going to use historical domain characters (tvtropes for da win) and not similar but OCs, you should probably try to make them like what they seemed to be like or give reasons as to why they wouldn't be.

As for the draft...this was the first time the absolute monarch used it? Ever? Given the truly horrible wars the empire has found itself in the past, this is truly a massive achievement up till now. I can foresee a time when 'national service' is much more accepted and commonplace however, especially in the postwar European nations. And definitely in the empire itself.
Or you could make them into the exact opposite as they were in real life for the irony. For example, Gandhi as Hitler.:p
 

dragoon9105

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'Small announcement' of Stellaris means that soon you are going to have to find a way of not only figuring out how to end the war but also how to unify the planet (at least to the extent that you don't have to talk about it so much). Good luck with that...

So are we sticking with absolutism IN SPAAAAAACE!!! or are you going to combine the HRE (somehow) with the American ideas about democracy?
With the way the world has been evolving, the great two Ideologies that will make it past the crucible of World War will likely be Paternalism and Republicanism since Economic philosophy is more of a policy, that can be changed more fluidly. Question being asked is, who knows what's best, Your Military, Your Monarch or You? How will the world look by the time Stellaris comes around, well only time will tell ;)

The mission to get Turing out would make a great MGS game.
...yes, I am playing it for the first time, why do you ask?
Indeed, Now i'm imagining Californian and Japanese super spies being the ones to steal Turing away from the Alternate Universe TE Lawrence and his colorful gang of supervillains. :p I'll be sure to get Investigative Comics right on it.

Considering how he was historically treated, it's nice seeing Turing get some good fortune here.
I don't know...having him being in an absolutist, devotedly catholic state probably isn't going to be good for him. In fact, probably worse.

At least the Americans didn't get loads of free tech from everyone though! HRE now has massive advantage over everyone else on the planet.
While that possible, I figure that if you are going to use historical domain characters (tvtropes for da win) and not similar but OCs, you should probably try to make them like what they seemed to be like or give reasons as to why they wouldn't be.
Or you could make them into the exact opposite as they were in real life for the irony. For example, Gandhi as Hitler.:p
I've been mostly making use of the trope for reasons of name recognition. Much easier to use a historical name/photo for a particular person to sort of summarize who they are an equivalent of in this Timeline. though for Turing at least, theres some implication he is much the same considering he named his Second machine 'Christopher'.

As for how he is treated, He is of course a prisoner of war, and very valuable one but there wont be much discrimination or acceptance for poor Turing. His brain is what makes him valuable after all. Especially when one considers the applications of using computers to target certain other weapons that may or may not* be being developed in Imperial California.

As for the draft...this was the first time the absolute monarch used it? Ever? Given the truly horrible wars the empire has found itself in the past, this is truly a massive achievement up till now. I can foresee a time when 'national service' is much more accepted and commonplace however, especially in the postwar European nations. And definitely in the empire itself.
In Victoria 2, I did not need to mobilize even once even though the Chinese and Indians outnumbered me throughout the entire century. If Russia and India had not proved to be such a helpful bulwark against the Chinese I in all likelihood would have been forced to do so just to have the numbers to effectively keep the Chinese from running amok with my capture territories. Before that the Empire was primarily Rural outside of Italy, and Napoleon had Italy so handing half a million men rifles and telling them to die against Napoleon was rather on the impossible side.

So In Short, WW1 in this Timeline had everyone but the absolutist imperialist empire conscripting thousands onto the front which was quite funny.
 
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TheCreator901

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Holy. I have finally finished reading this from the very beginning. Now I have got to say it is fantastic. First AAR I have ever read and I am glad that yours was the first. What's Hitler up to during WW2? Is he fighting for the Annionas or is he just sitting at home or maybe the streets? Also what is your schedule for posting?
 

TheAnguishedOne

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As for how he is treated, He is of course a prisoner of war, and very valuable one but there wont be much discrimination or acceptance for poor Turing. His brain is what makes him valuable after all. Especially when one considers the applications of using computers to target certain other weapons that may or may not* be being developed in Imperial California.
Well... better than nothing...
 

zenphoenix

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Holy. I have finally finished reading this from the very beginning. Now I have got to say it is fantastic. First AAR I have ever read and I am glad that yours was the first. What's Hitler up to during WW2? Is he fighting for the Annionas or is he just sitting at home or maybe the streets? Also what is your schedule for posting?
Last we heard he was a promising painter who actually completed art school. Quite a common fate in many AARs where he never became a Nazi.
 

TheCreator901

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Last we heard he was a promising painter who actually completed art school. Quite a common fate in many AARs where he never became a Nazi.
The good old artistic Hitler
 

TheButterflyComposer

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In Victoria 2, I did not need to mobilize even once even though the Chinese and Indians outnumbered me throughout the entire century. If Russia and India had not proved to be such a helpful bulwark against the Chinese I in all likelihood would have been forced to do so just to have the numbers to effectively keep the Chinese from running amok with my capture territories. Before that the Empire was primarily Rural outside of Italy, and Napoleon had Italy so handing half a million men rifles and telling them to die against Napoleon was rather on the impossible side.
Very possible that this has saved your empire too in the long run. Not treating your people like animals or objects to throw at problems probably endears popular imagination towards paternalism and a 'nanny knows best' attitude towards the monarch.

And sure, Hitler can be an artist. Or a bordello singer, as he once famously was.
 

TheCreator901

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Seeing as their is some stories based on soldiers' experiences in the war, I've decided to write one.

"Adolf! What do you see?" Fredrick yelled out.
"What? I can't hear you over this wind!" Adolf yelled in reply.
"What do you see?" Fredrick repeated.
"I see... a Spanish bunker. It's right in front of us. There is 4 men in sight and a tank. What that's one of ours I believe. I forgot its name but it is one of ours surely."
"Hmm... probably one that Porsche made." A third man said as Adolf sat down.
"Well Otto, what do you think about the situation. We have been sent to Navarra and despite being the first regiments here, us four have managed to survive. I'm surprised you made it through Christopher." Otto laughed at Fredrick's reply. Christopher was lighting a cigarette.
Adolf looked annoyed, "Christopher, if the war doesn't kill you, you're going to kill yourself by smoking."
"Nah I won't" Christopher dismissed Adolf's claim of smoking being unhealthy.
"Yes you will Chris." Adolf stood up once again and headed to the edge of the small cabin where he picked up a box of dominoes.
"Ah, Adolf wish choice of a past time. Sadly Christopher doesn't listen to his elders." Otto grinned as Chris showed signs of annoyance.
"Adolf shouldn't even be here right now, he joined the war when he was 50. Look at him, he shouldn't be here. He should be at home with his wife Rowena." Christopher said in defence.
"Chris, I can hear you you know." Adolf looked at Christopher, "Let me tell you a story. I was a homeless man trying to get a place at the Vienna School of Fine Arts. They wouldn't accept me so one day I was on the streets contemplating joining the National Socialist Parties but then I saw Empress Octavia in her carriage. Quickly, I stood up and called her name. To my surprise she stopped and asked me what if I wanted to talk to her. I used the opportunity to my advantage and offered to make a painting of what ever area of Vienna she wished for a small fee of a few Annons, enough for me to rent a room for a week. She accepted. Few days later, she came to the room I had rented and when she saw my painting, well, she loved it to say the least. She then offered 100 annons to paint her palace. I of course accepted the offer and since then, I have never lived on the streets again. I got married to my love Rowena and grew a family. So I owe Empress Octavia my life. And if I owe the Empress my life I owe the Empire my life."
"Very inspirational" Fredrick nodded in approval.
"You are a true patriot to -" Otto's sentence was cut of as a bullet went straight through his head.
"Holy shit" Christopher yelped.
"We're under attack!" Fredrick shouted whilst passing a sub-automatic machine to his partners. It was too late though, Christopher was shot in the chest 4 times before he lay dead and Fredrick was hit in the neck.
"Shit" Adolf thought to himself as he hid underneath the table.
"Good work Alfonso, you seemed to have ended these Imperial scum. Heh, there was 4 here but I only see three corpses." a Hispanic troop spoke to the man beside him in Basque, Adolf couldn't understand.
"You mean that old artist who is famous in the Holy Roman Empire and the lands under their influence?" The man replied.
"Yes, his name is Adolf Hitler. Apparently he changed it from his old surname before he married. Was Schiklyburger or something stupid like that." The older of the two said.
Adolf recognized his name and gasped. Bad move, the younger man called Alfonso pulled up the table cover. Adolf quickly fired several bullets into him avenging his fallen partners. The elder in response to Adolf's move shot at him hitting him in the torso. Adolf yelped in pain but his opponent had ran out of bullets. Adolf smashed the butt of his gun into the Hispanic's face breaking his jaw. Adolf then proceeded to smash the Hispanic's skull until all that was left was flesh, blood and broken bone. Adolf held his torso as he began to say to himself, "Oh Rowena, please forgive me for the times I put my paintings before you." He tried to move but he was too weak.

Minutes passed as he sat there kneeling above the corpse of his foe. The cabin stank of death for there was the corpse of Otto, Fredrick, Christopher and the two Spaniards. Then Adolf heard the door of the cabin creak. His right arm moved for his gun but the voice he heard was one he recognized. "Adolf what on earth happened here." It was Christopher's older brother David.
 

TheButterflyComposer

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And then adolf became a war hero, respected politician and eventual prime minister before discovering the cure for polio and donating all his vast riches to donkey sanctuaries upon his timely demise. The nation wept and the world mourned.

Meanwhile, ghandi got wasted in a pub and decided to become the greatest sumo wrestler the world had ever seen.


Hey, this is fun!