These pagans never learn, as well as peasants and Turks and Romans.
Time to learn Nubian style!
Time to learn Nubian style!
If You Can't Do It, Nubia Can! A (hopefully) comedic AAR
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The old Cuman will live longer than James.
Take that back! I will not have you disrespect The Liberator!
If You Can't Do It, Nubia Can!
James I, the Cuman Slayer, and his Search for Adventure
1189-90
This is Albania. It used to belong to the Emir of Derbent, but then the Bohemians took it. Now it’s in the way of uniting my recent conquests. So I’m going to take it.
Apparently the Bohemians are less than happy about this idea. Unfortunately for them, I don’t care about their happiness.
Five thousand men should do the job.
Meanwhile I will continue killing pagans.
Now I just have to convince the Bohemians it’s not worth fighting over a poor province thousands of miles from their homeland. Especially since I’ve already taken it.
Now this province isn’t controlled by pagans. It used to belong to France before the count went independent. During my First Cuman War it provided a handy beachhead to conduct operations from. But now I want it to join the glory that is Nubia.
As the army headed to Manych one of my commanders asked if I wasn’t anxious to return home. I recalled the last time I went home, when my wife drugged me and forced me to sleep with her. I told the soldier it would take something pretty big for me to return home.
Meanwhile, closer to home, my commanders right an old wrong. Some time ago my ancestors realized they were the real counts of Cyrenaica, though it was occupied by a pretender. They ignored the insult, but no longer. I will assert my ancient right and throw the pretender from his throne.
The Chief of Manych makes a compelling argument for why I should leave his land and conquer somewhere else. Let it never be said that I am not a reasonable man.
It might not be nice, it might not be fair, but it’s the way the world works. The strong will take advantage of the weak and counts will bow before kings.
Is that how the world works? Will James ever return home? Will he assert his family’s right to Cyrenaica? Will other pagans make convincing arguments to keep their land? Find out with If You Can’t Do It, Nubia Can!
A story with lots of pictures and plenty of words
James I, the Cuman Slayer, and his Search for Adventure
1189-90
This is Albania. It used to belong to the Emir of Derbent, but then the Bohemians took it. Now it’s in the way of uniting my recent conquests. So I’m going to take it.
Apparently the Bohemians are less than happy about this idea. Unfortunately for them, I don’t care about their happiness.
Five thousand men should do the job.
Meanwhile I will continue killing pagans.
Now I just have to convince the Bohemians it’s not worth fighting over a poor province thousands of miles from their homeland. Especially since I’ve already taken it.
Now this province isn’t controlled by pagans. It used to belong to France before the count went independent. During my First Cuman War it provided a handy beachhead to conduct operations from. But now I want it to join the glory that is Nubia.
As the army headed to Manych one of my commanders asked if I wasn’t anxious to return home. I recalled the last time I went home, when my wife drugged me and forced me to sleep with her. I told the soldier it would take something pretty big for me to return home.
Meanwhile, closer to home, my commanders right an old wrong. Some time ago my ancestors realized they were the real counts of Cyrenaica, though it was occupied by a pretender. They ignored the insult, but no longer. I will assert my ancient right and throw the pretender from his throne.
The Chief of Manych makes a compelling argument for why I should leave his land and conquer somewhere else. Let it never be said that I am not a reasonable man.
It might not be nice, it might not be fair, but it’s the way the world works. The strong will take advantage of the weak and counts will bow before kings.
Is that how the world works? Will James ever return home? Will he assert his family’s right to Cyrenaica? Will other pagans make convincing arguments to keep their land? Find out with If You Can’t Do It, Nubia Can!
He will probably die soon!
Slaying cumen isn't healthy. Just think of the diseases they carry.
Slaying cumen isn't healthy. Just think of the diseases they carry.
Where do pagans get that much gold from? Maybe Nubians are worshipping the wrong God?
I'd stay in Cumania too if I were James. Blood beats sand any day!
I'd stay in Cumania too if I were James. Blood beats sand any day!
If You Can't Do It, Nubia Can!
James I, the Cuman Slayer, and his Search for Adventure
1190
I head even farther from home in my mission to avoid my family and destroy pagans. I love it when I can accomplish two goals at once.
This is the first stiff resistance I’ve met in a long time. I relish a good fight. But I have to wonder how a pagan chieftain raised so many troops from a single province.
Speaking of a lack of stiff resistance, the war for Cyrenaica is over. Soon I’ll be able to connect my North African territories with Egypt. I may be far away, but my generals know what to do next.
Since there is already a Nubian army in the area, the next step will happen quickly. This is Senoussi. It should be part of Nubia, but has been in Catholic hands for several generations.
This depressed old man is the count of Senoussi. Finding out what’s going to happen might push him over the edge, so we won’t tell him just yet.
And this is his liege. Mathieu has the fortune to be a powerful Duke.
He has territories in southern Italy, northern Spain, and Africa. He has the misfortune of holding territories that boarder my kingdom at several points. Points I want to expand through.
We’ll start the war in Spain, but it won’t end there. Before this is over the whole Mediterranean will be a battleground.
Isolated and alone, Senoussi will be easy prey.
Italy will be a tougher nut to crack, but even the Duke’s capital shall fall before the might of Nubia.
Will the capital fall? How long will James stay away? Are the Italians really pushovers? Does Mirza miss his dad? Find out with If You Can’t Do It, Nubia Can!
A story with lots of pictures and plenty of words
James I, the Cuman Slayer, and his Search for Adventure
1190
I head even farther from home in my mission to avoid my family and destroy pagans. I love it when I can accomplish two goals at once.
This is the first stiff resistance I’ve met in a long time. I relish a good fight. But I have to wonder how a pagan chieftain raised so many troops from a single province.
Speaking of a lack of stiff resistance, the war for Cyrenaica is over. Soon I’ll be able to connect my North African territories with Egypt. I may be far away, but my generals know what to do next.
Since there is already a Nubian army in the area, the next step will happen quickly. This is Senoussi. It should be part of Nubia, but has been in Catholic hands for several generations.
This depressed old man is the count of Senoussi. Finding out what’s going to happen might push him over the edge, so we won’t tell him just yet.
And this is his liege. Mathieu has the fortune to be a powerful Duke.
He has territories in southern Italy, northern Spain, and Africa. He has the misfortune of holding territories that boarder my kingdom at several points. Points I want to expand through.
We’ll start the war in Spain, but it won’t end there. Before this is over the whole Mediterranean will be a battleground.
Isolated and alone, Senoussi will be easy prey.
Italy will be a tougher nut to crack, but even the Duke’s capital shall fall before the might of Nubia.
Will the capital fall? How long will James stay away? Are the Italians really pushovers? Does Mirza miss his dad? Find out with If You Can’t Do It, Nubia Can!
After that Italian campaign, you'll be closing in on Rome in no time
The composition of your army is kind of funny for the kind of wars you have - I like the idea of hauling thousands of peasants around the world in wars of conquest.
The composition of your army is kind of funny for the kind of wars you have - I like the idea of hauling thousands of peasants around the world in wars of conquest.