If You Can't Do It, Nubia Can!
A story with lots of pictures and plenty of words
James I, the Cuman Slayer, and his Search for Adventure
1175-7
Hello everyone. I am James, King of Nubia. I’d show you a picture of myself, but I have better things to do than pose for portraits. Like party with my friends. Ale for everyone!
So there’s a war going on. And not only did the army at Constantinople get slaughtered, the thrice accursed Byzantines pushed into Anatolia again. We’ll have to move fast to keep this war from falling apart.
I send orders to redouble the attack. Fifteen thousand soldiers prepare to take the Queen of Cities.
Now I know the Byzantines have risen to prominence as the major enemies of Nubia, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about the Turks. They are out there on the boarders, lurking in the shadows, ready to strike. We are nowhere near the point where I would actually invite armed Turkish soldiers anywhere near my troops.
At the end of the day, the Turks are still Nubia’s foes.
Egads! It is not possible for us to fight a war without treachery? We really need to work on camp security.
This is getting crazy. The army at Constantinople is withering away, and it hasn’t even had to fight a battle.
Come on people, I just turned sixteen, give me a chance to get used to actually ruling. And really, if you need a sixteen year old to tell you what to do, perhaps the army is better off without you in it.
It has happened. Nubia has breached the greatest fortifications in the world. Constantinople is mine.
Unfortunately winning a siege is not the same as winning the war. And the Byzantines are far from being out of armies.
The Heroes of Constantinople had scant time to celebrate their glory before being killed marching from the city.
And the next force I send is wiped out as well. Thankfully, while things around Constantinople aren’t going well, the rest of the empire is pretty much under my control.
Now it’s time to get married. Look at her nose. That’s okay, I don’t plan to be having much sex with her. After all, there are lots of women in Nubia.
Will James keep Constantinople? What will his marriage be like? Is Nubia even winning the war? How many more lives will this war take? Find out with If You Can’t Do It, Nubia Can!