If You Can't Do It, Nubia Can! A (hopefully) comedic AAR
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I'm glad to see that the Grigor defence is serving Nubia well.
You realise that usage is on a royalties basis?
You realise that usage is on a royalties basis?
If you want a percentage commission, you might have to take that up with the Sultan - he seems to have all of Nubia's gold...
If you want a percentage commission, you might have to take that up with the Sultan - he seems to have all of Nubia's gold...
Thats gonna be a fun confrontation!
If You Can't Do It, Nubia Can!
Mikal I, the Fortunate, and his Quest for Bastards
1122-25
My uncle Mirza was the last bishop of Nubia. Since he died sixteen years ago, the land has lacked a spiritual leader. Finally, the Patriarch has generously assigned a new one.
Wow, normally they send us lusty skeptics and such. Not only is this guy highly skilled, he’s chaste as well. It must be my famous luck at work.
Today witnesses the end of an era. In 1095 the Second Crusade began. The Kingdom of Norway invaded Egypt, taking several provinces before suffering a series of reversals that ended their first campaign in defeat.
Years later, a second campaign briefly seized a province in Syria before losing it to the Fatimds.
But now after twenty-seven years of war, the third effort by the Norwegians has produced results.
The Kingdom of the Fatimids is no more. My grandfather’s nemesis, my rival realm has ceased to exist. I feel almost bad for them. They were once so strong, but went out with a whimper.
Also, don’t tick off Norway, those guys can hold a grudge for a long time, and are patient enough to wait for the right time to strike.
I move on to the next Muslim statelet, pausing to congratulate the Norwegians on their work.
My youngest son passes on. If even the son of the king has poor health, how do any of the peasant babies make it?
Behold the latest innovation of my advisors. Rather than just taking money from people, now I’ll take money but give the people a note saying I’ll pay them back later. Whether I pay them back or not is a different story, but this way they feel better about me taking the money.
How many times do we have to go over this? NO INCEST IN MY KINGDOM!
My oldest, and so far only, bastard child comes of age. I give him some land near the King of Jerusalem.
Kem Lad becomes a scholar. I’m not so sure about that mustache he’s sporting. Makes him look a little tough for someone who’s a sissy.
As my heir, it is proper that Kem Lad receive the first province ruled by my father. With no talent whatsoever in the field of war, I can only hope he’ll have a peaceful reign or really good marshals.
Will Mikal be lost without his rival? Will he feel inadequate because he didn’t deal the death blow himself? What struggles will develop as the next generation of royal children reach maturity? And when will more bastards show up? Find out with If You Can’t Do It, Nubia Can!
A story with lots of pictures and plenty of words
Mikal I, the Fortunate, and his Quest for Bastards
1122-25
My uncle Mirza was the last bishop of Nubia. Since he died sixteen years ago, the land has lacked a spiritual leader. Finally, the Patriarch has generously assigned a new one.
Wow, normally they send us lusty skeptics and such. Not only is this guy highly skilled, he’s chaste as well. It must be my famous luck at work.
Today witnesses the end of an era. In 1095 the Second Crusade began. The Kingdom of Norway invaded Egypt, taking several provinces before suffering a series of reversals that ended their first campaign in defeat.
Years later, a second campaign briefly seized a province in Syria before losing it to the Fatimds.
But now after twenty-seven years of war, the third effort by the Norwegians has produced results.
The Kingdom of the Fatimids is no more. My grandfather’s nemesis, my rival realm has ceased to exist. I feel almost bad for them. They were once so strong, but went out with a whimper.
Also, don’t tick off Norway, those guys can hold a grudge for a long time, and are patient enough to wait for the right time to strike.
I move on to the next Muslim statelet, pausing to congratulate the Norwegians on their work.
My youngest son passes on. If even the son of the king has poor health, how do any of the peasant babies make it?
Behold the latest innovation of my advisors. Rather than just taking money from people, now I’ll take money but give the people a note saying I’ll pay them back later. Whether I pay them back or not is a different story, but this way they feel better about me taking the money.
How many times do we have to go over this? NO INCEST IN MY KINGDOM!
My oldest, and so far only, bastard child comes of age. I give him some land near the King of Jerusalem.
Kem Lad becomes a scholar. I’m not so sure about that mustache he’s sporting. Makes him look a little tough for someone who’s a sissy.
As my heir, it is proper that Kem Lad receive the first province ruled by my father. With no talent whatsoever in the field of war, I can only hope he’ll have a peaceful reign or really good marshals.
Will Mikal be lost without his rival? Will he feel inadequate because he didn’t deal the death blow himself? What struggles will develop as the next generation of royal children reach maturity? And when will more bastards show up? Find out with If You Can’t Do It, Nubia Can!
For the first and LAST time(Mark my words) I agree with you little Dane.
And by the way, I can't believe you gave your home province! TRAITOR!
And by the way, I can't believe you gave your home province! TRAITOR!
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That's just because the Turks haven't wasted all the money they extorted from me last time.
Mikal's a little nervious about that. The whole twenty seven year long war thing has spooked him. Also, as you'll see next update, he's got a plan.
Well it is the traditional territory of the Nubian Crown Prince. Everyone who's been an adult heir for more than 39 days has ruled it.
Plus you didn't think I'd give him one of Mikal's good provences did you?
I wonder how Kem Lad feels about getting the family lands in crappy old Nubia...
I'm not sure. He could be pissed at getting crappy territory. He could be happy since this pretty much cinches him as heir. Or he could be thankful because the last time the king had multiple sons the oldest didn't get land until he was on his deathbed.
oh, by the way:
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
It's an American holiday where they give thanks to God for all sorts of things. I think it grew out of a similar tradition that the Pilgrim Fathers observed, but I'm just an ignorant Brit so I might be wrong. I'm sure Eron12 will enlighten us when he stops stuffing his face with turkey...
Just caught up (due to seeing the link in Iain's AAR), brilliant stuff! Also, seems that the game has been good to you as far as events suitable for humor go. Gotta love that Norwegian war especially.
Solid playing too, seizing the opportunities to make the Nubian mark on history
Solid playing too, seizing the opportunities to make the Nubian mark on history
I can give you one for 1132 once we get there.
Thanksgiving is an American holiday based on a harvest celebration that the Pilgrams held after surviving a year in North America.
Now it's a day for eating a lot of good food and watching parades and football.
Oh, I don't know if anyone else would care, but this update tells the story of the year 1127 and is being posted on 11-27-09.
If You Can't Do It, Nubia Can!
Mikal I, the Fortunate, and his Quest for Bastards
1127
You can tell that Nubia is moving up in the world when we start to get alliance offers from kings instead of just princes.
Let’s take a closer look at this offer.
A small kingdom bordering my Serbian lands. Doesn’t seem like they would make a bad ally.
Now onto the king.
Hummm. This guy is gruff with no military skill. And he is driven to crusade. Plus he has a forehead the size of a shield.
I think I’ll be passing on that alliance. I don’t want to be dragged into a bunch of wars by a weakling with no idea what he’s doing.
I guess my kids can’t all be winners.
Time to get back to clearing the small Muslim realms on my eastern frontier.
Man the Seljuks go through rulers fast. The new one is Armenian. He’s quite skilled, but despite his education, he’s not particularly pious.
Ah, success. Overwhelming numbers are a beautiful thing to see in action.
Normally, this offer would be quite tempting. But I already have over 1800 pounds of gold in my treasury, and I want the security of a strong border. So no luck Sulayman.
Another one sided battle. This is what makes war so enjoyable.
Another day, another war. Don’t worry though. Soon this frontier will be secure, and we’ll move on to the real plan.
There is a real plan? I thought this story didn’t even have a plan. So if there is a real plan is there a fake plan? What is it? Does it involve luck? Find out with If You Can’t Do It, Nubia Can!
A story with lots of pictures and plenty of words
Mikal I, the Fortunate, and his Quest for Bastards
1127
You can tell that Nubia is moving up in the world when we start to get alliance offers from kings instead of just princes.
Let’s take a closer look at this offer.
A small kingdom bordering my Serbian lands. Doesn’t seem like they would make a bad ally.
Now onto the king.
Hummm. This guy is gruff with no military skill. And he is driven to crusade. Plus he has a forehead the size of a shield.
I think I’ll be passing on that alliance. I don’t want to be dragged into a bunch of wars by a weakling with no idea what he’s doing.
I guess my kids can’t all be winners.
Time to get back to clearing the small Muslim realms on my eastern frontier.
Man the Seljuks go through rulers fast. The new one is Armenian. He’s quite skilled, but despite his education, he’s not particularly pious.
Ah, success. Overwhelming numbers are a beautiful thing to see in action.
Normally, this offer would be quite tempting. But I already have over 1800 pounds of gold in my treasury, and I want the security of a strong border. So no luck Sulayman.
Another one sided battle. This is what makes war so enjoyable.
Another day, another war. Don’t worry though. Soon this frontier will be secure, and we’ll move on to the real plan.
There is a real plan? I thought this story didn’t even have a plan. So if there is a real plan is there a fake plan? What is it? Does it involve luck? Find out with If You Can’t Do It, Nubia Can!
So, are you now going to update a year per day until Tuesday, when you speed through to 1201?
And what's the relation of the alliance-seeking king Filip Trpimirovich to Matija Trpimirovich, the king with no skills whatsoever?