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If Real History Operated By CK2 Rules
- Thread starter DesNibelungen
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what i dont like is that William gets "The Great" for doing it, even if in any other instance he'd get Usurper
I expect total consistency. If we have to have actual strong claimants using the nickname, then so should anybody else who forces their way to claiming a title.
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Usually the invasion CB doesn't actually usurp the title, it sometimes destroys it and sometimes the original owner keeps it, but you don't automatically get the title. So, no "Usurper" nickname. The Norman Conquest is just special.
On 20 Ramadan, 1094, King John III Sobieski is routed by an Ottoman army outnumbering him three times at Vienna and flies in retreat all the way back to Krakow. Austria falls to the Ottoman Empire shortly thereafter.
And then Greece and most of Anatolia falls to the Greek Liberation Revolt which succeeds despite all odds. All hail King Kyriakos I of Greece!
Yeah, I was playing with Shattered Retreat and how combat is way more numbers-dependent in CK2 than in real life. I've only ever managed to win a battle against even 2:1 odds by suckering the AI into attacking me on defensive terrain, and that was with cavalry retinues as part of my army. But at Vienna, IIRC Jan III was attacking out of defensive terrain, so he doesn't get the bonuses.
ETA: Also, hussars are light cavalry in CK2. They don't get Awesome Charge as a tactic.
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Sultan: Wait, what is that large, army-shaped dust cloud coming out of the desert?
Rebel: Wicked Sultan! We 40,000 Arabs have come out of the desert to punish you for your decadence!
Sultan: W-What?! I am not decedent! I follow Islam to the letter!
Rebel: Yes, but your nephew is a drunkard. You must pay with all of your lands!
Sultan: This is ridiculous! I have like 10 brothers whom I never see. Do you think I'm even aware of how many nephews I have or what they are doing?!
Rebel: Charge!
Rebel: Wicked Sultan! We 40,000 Arabs have come out of the desert to punish you for your decadence!
Sultan: W-What?! I am not decedent! I follow Islam to the letter!
Rebel: Yes, but your nephew is a drunkard. You must pay with all of your lands!
Sultan: This is ridiculous! I have like 10 brothers whom I never see. Do you think I'm even aware of how many nephews I have or what they are doing?!
Rebel: Charge!
FDR: Hirohito is becoming a thorn in our side. Something must be done. Who is the guy we hired to assassinate that peasant leader a while back?
Advisor: Oh, I'm sorry my liege, but hiring assassins was patched out in the latest update.
FDR: What!? This is an outrage!
Advisor: You weren't reading the dev diaries and you haven't loaded this campaign for several months. Things change.
FDR: Fine, so how do I assassinate Hirohito?
Advisor: You must plot with the nobles in his court.
FDR: Isn't he in the Emperor's court?
Advisor: Yes, my liege.
FDR: Isn't that going to be a problem. They probably like him more than they like me.
Advisor: No problem at all my liege. We have Fort Knox after all. A few gifts of gold and you should have allies aplenty.
FDR: Give gold.
Advisor: Yes, my liege.
FDR: To the vassals of the greatest enemy our nation has ever faced.
Advisor: Yes, me liege.
FDR: Are you sure we can't hire that assassin.
Advisor: We could roll back to a previous version, but I think that disables achievements.
FDR: Well, we certainly can't have that. My dynasty is just about to hit 100,000 score. Fine, empty Fort Knox if you have to. We must assassinate Hirohito.
Advisor: Yes, my liege!
General Lee: Mr. President, we surrender.
Lincoln: Excellent. Now here are my demands.
Lee: No, Mr. President, that's not how this works. You get to imprison the leaders of the Independence revolt who have landed titles, but not the generals like myself without a landed title. You can revoke one title from each of them.
Lincoln: You just unconditionally surrendered. Don't I get to at least free the slaves?
Lee: No Mr. President, you can't add war goals in the middle of the war. And besides, you can't add war goals in a defensive war.
Lincoln: All right, but if I recall correctly, since I won the war, you have a peace treaty with me, but I can attack you freely, with a valid causus belli, such as freeing the slaves.
Lee: There's no such causus belli.
Lincoln: Holy War?
Lee: Same religion.
Lincoln: Title claim?
Lee: You're from Illinois, they were on your side.
Lincoln: So what other causus belli can I use?
Lee: It doesn't matter. You can't declare war on them.
Lincoln: Why not?
Lee: They're your vassals.
Lincoln: Not yet they aren't.
Lee: Yes they are. The moment I stated we surrendered, they all voluntarily imprisoned themselves and all our soldiers lay down their arms.
Lincoln: How is that possible?
Lee: It's the way it's always been Mr. President. It's best to just stop asking questions. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to teleport back to Jefferson Davis' court. He just made me his regent and the army I was leading disbanded. *disappears*
Advisor: Oh, I'm sorry my liege, but hiring assassins was patched out in the latest update.
FDR: What!? This is an outrage!
Advisor: You weren't reading the dev diaries and you haven't loaded this campaign for several months. Things change.
FDR: Fine, so how do I assassinate Hirohito?
Advisor: You must plot with the nobles in his court.
FDR: Isn't he in the Emperor's court?
Advisor: Yes, my liege.
FDR: Isn't that going to be a problem. They probably like him more than they like me.
Advisor: No problem at all my liege. We have Fort Knox after all. A few gifts of gold and you should have allies aplenty.
FDR: Give gold.
Advisor: Yes, my liege.
FDR: To the vassals of the greatest enemy our nation has ever faced.
Advisor: Yes, me liege.
FDR: Are you sure we can't hire that assassin.
Advisor: We could roll back to a previous version, but I think that disables achievements.
FDR: Well, we certainly can't have that. My dynasty is just about to hit 100,000 score. Fine, empty Fort Knox if you have to. We must assassinate Hirohito.
Advisor: Yes, my liege!
General Lee: Mr. President, we surrender.
Lincoln: Excellent. Now here are my demands.
Lee: No, Mr. President, that's not how this works. You get to imprison the leaders of the Independence revolt who have landed titles, but not the generals like myself without a landed title. You can revoke one title from each of them.
Lincoln: You just unconditionally surrendered. Don't I get to at least free the slaves?
Lee: No Mr. President, you can't add war goals in the middle of the war. And besides, you can't add war goals in a defensive war.
Lincoln: All right, but if I recall correctly, since I won the war, you have a peace treaty with me, but I can attack you freely, with a valid causus belli, such as freeing the slaves.
Lee: There's no such causus belli.
Lincoln: Holy War?
Lee: Same religion.
Lincoln: Title claim?
Lee: You're from Illinois, they were on your side.
Lincoln: So what other causus belli can I use?
Lee: It doesn't matter. You can't declare war on them.
Lincoln: Why not?
Lee: They're your vassals.
Lincoln: Not yet they aren't.
Lee: Yes they are. The moment I stated we surrendered, they all voluntarily imprisoned themselves and all our soldiers lay down their arms.
Lincoln: How is that possible?
Lee: It's the way it's always been Mr. President. It's best to just stop asking questions. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to teleport back to Jefferson Davis' court. He just made me his regent and the army I was leading disbanded. *disappears*
General Cornwallis: General Washington, you have my congratulations. You have defeated me, and thus, the most powerful empire in the world. Now, with your leave, I will march my remaining forces to Canada, so that we can disband and instantly teleport home.
---
General Crerar: We've fully encircled the Germans.
General Mackey: They have no chance to retreat now.
General Model: Excuse us, just passing through.
General Crerar: Crap. Shattered retreat.
---
General Crerar: We've fully encircled the Germans.
General Mackey: They have no chance to retreat now.
General Model: Excuse us, just passing through.
General Crerar: Crap. Shattered retreat.
I wonder how the "inflight assassination" of Yamamoto would have worked in CK2...
Jefferson Davis, Duke of Virginia: "It is time for you to recognize the full independence of Virginia and the other states in the Independence Faction. Be reasonable and let us not resort to bloodshed. Signed, Duke Jefferson Davis of Virginia."
Abraham Lincoln, Grand Mayor of the Principality of the United States: "I will not be blackmailed!"
*4 years later*
Abraham Lincoln, Grand Mayor of the Principality of the United States: "I win, 100 Warscore!"
Jefferson Davis, Duke of Virginia: "Alright, I surrender. Also I and all the other rebel lords will voluntarily go into prison instead of trying to run away to South America."
Abraham Lincoln, Grand Mayor of the Principality of the United States: "I could release you all from prison, but I'm well aware that if I do that you'll all just rebel again and be ungrateful. So instead ya'll gonna rot in the oubliette."
*Duke Jefferson Davis made friends with a rat*
Abraham Lincoln, Grand Mayor of the Principality of the United States: "Now I can get rid of slavery." *initiates vote on council law to change chattel slavery from 'legal' to 'illegal'* *council votes to make chattel slavery illegal*
John Wilks Booth, Courtier of the Principality of the United States: "Lincoln must die!"
*starts plot to kill Grand Mayor Abraham Lincoln*
*plot doesn't fire because nobody will join it*
Abraham Lincoln, Grand Mayor of the Principality of the United States: "I will not be blackmailed!"
*4 years later*
Abraham Lincoln, Grand Mayor of the Principality of the United States: "I win, 100 Warscore!"
Jefferson Davis, Duke of Virginia: "Alright, I surrender. Also I and all the other rebel lords will voluntarily go into prison instead of trying to run away to South America."
Abraham Lincoln, Grand Mayor of the Principality of the United States: "I could release you all from prison, but I'm well aware that if I do that you'll all just rebel again and be ungrateful. So instead ya'll gonna rot in the oubliette."
*Duke Jefferson Davis made friends with a rat*
Abraham Lincoln, Grand Mayor of the Principality of the United States: "Now I can get rid of slavery." *initiates vote on council law to change chattel slavery from 'legal' to 'illegal'* *council votes to make chattel slavery illegal*
John Wilks Booth, Courtier of the Principality of the United States: "Lincoln must die!"
*starts plot to kill Grand Mayor Abraham Lincoln*
*plot doesn't fire because nobody will join it*
Probably the flavor text would be of a "lone bowman" plot, and FDR gets Known Murderer.
Same way assassinating a child works. Seeing if he can fly without the airplane.
"All embrace me
It’s my time to rule at last
Fifteen years have I been waiting
To sit upon my throne
No allegiance
I will swear no oath
Crowned by god not by the church
As my power is--"
"Sorry, Your Majesty, but you're not allowed to rule until you turn sixteen. I, Bengt Gabrielsson, have been appointed as your regent."
"För fan i helvete!"
It’s my time to rule at last
Fifteen years have I been waiting
To sit upon my throne
No allegiance
I will swear no oath
Crowned by god not by the church
As my power is--"
"Sorry, Your Majesty, but you're not allowed to rule until you turn sixteen. I, Bengt Gabrielsson, have been appointed as your regent."
"För fan i helvete!"
I'm surprised nobody alredy thought of this:
Carles Puigdemont of Catalonia declared independence from King Felipe VI of Spain.
Catalonia uprising has ended white peace.
Carles Puigdemont has fled to the court of King Philipp of Belgium.
Now the question is, will the King of Belgium press Puigdemont claim on Catalonia against the King of Spain? Maybe after giving him a barony so to make him his vassal
Carles Puigdemont of Catalonia declared independence from King Felipe VI of Spain.
Catalonia uprising has ended white peace.
Carles Puigdemont has fled to the court of King Philipp of Belgium.
Now the question is, will the King of Belgium press Puigdemont claim on Catalonia against the King of Spain? Maybe after giving him a barony so to make him his vassal
Depends, is Catalonia just a duchy or a kingdom? You never know about those weird Spanish "kingdoms" that can have fewer holdings than Flanders.
