I think this is a bug concerning matrilineal marriage

[Simna]

I've posted this before and got some hints how to avoid it, but I don't have the option to do so. Here is what it's all about:
I arrange betrothal for my son and when both get old enough, I’ll get this message:
“A message about arrange a matrilineal marriage has been received from… “.
I declines, and soon I will get this message again and again and again. I can't find a way to get through with the marriage, if I don't accept it as a matrilineal marriage.

 

[WankoStankins]

When the betrothed are old enough to get married, you'll see an alert on the top of the screen with a ring and heart on it or something. Click on it and it'll bring you to the betrothed. Click on the person you're gonna have them married and in diplomacy make them get married. It's something like that. I forget if you click on the one you control or the person you're marrying, or the leader of the person you're marrying. One of those. Not a bug, you just have to manually go through with the marriage while allowing their offer to stay on the screen, don't decline as it will make them not like you. Once your proposal is accepted the offer they sent will disappear.

 

[Simna]

Here’s the problem:
My sons betrothal has become the regent by the time for marriage. To the right of the screenshot you see the message.
If I click at her portrait I’ll get the window to the far left of the screenshot.
Then click at Arrange Marriage (bottom of the far left of the screenshot) and when I click her portrait the Select Spouse window pops up. As you can see, she is not one of the options.
So, is it a bug or what am I doing wrong?

 

[unmerged(500515)]

I am also getting this same problem.

 

[sperril]

Don't arrange the marriage manually. At the top of the regular game screen you should see a bunch of circles. One of them appears when both sides of a betrothal become of age for marriage. Click on that button to press the original terms of the betrothal. (I can actually see the tops of the circles in the screenshot Simna provided.)

Pressing the marriage manually won't work because the target you want will not appear in the list. This is because they are already betrothed.

 

[unmerged(500515)]

The problem is the ai keeps sending an offer for matrillineal marriage when it was a normal marriage

 

[Jaol]

The problem is the ai keeps sending an offer for matrillineal marriage when it was a normal marriage

Oh, that's not a bug. A betrothal doesn't lock in the form of marriage. When it comes time to marry you can still suggest the other type of marriage. This is useful because circumstances might change. For example, if you had agreed to a normal marriage for your daughter when she was a child, but then all your sons died, you would want to change to a matrilenear marriage. This gives you a way to do that without breaking the engagement.

The AI will generally suggest its preferred form of marriage. It doesn't necessarily mean it won't accept the other. You just need to propose it yourself.

 

[unmerged(500515)]

Oh, that's not a bug. A betrothal doesn't lock in the form of marriage. When it comes time to marry you can still suggest the other type of marriage. This is useful because circumstances might change. For example, if you had agreed to a normal marriage for your daughter when she was a child, but then all your sons died, you would want to change to a matrilenear marriage. This gives you a way to do that without breaking the engagement.

The AI will generally suggest its preferred form of marriage. It doesn't necessarily mean it won't accept the other. You just need to propose it yourself.

Fair enough, but the AI keeps sending me matrillineal offers and I cannot propose a normal marriage as I am having the same issues as the OP. In earlier versions, I could go to arrange marriage on the betrothed under their diplomacy screen and both people would show up. Since this latest patch, that isn't the case.

 

[sperril]

Fair enough, but the AI keeps sending me matrillineal offers and I cannot propose a normal marriage as I am having the same issues as the OP. In earlier versions, I could go to arrange marriage on the betrothed under their diplomacy screen and both people would show up. Since this latest patch, that isn't the case.

As I've said above...

Don't arrange it manually. When both of the betrothed are of age, there will be an icon at the top of your normal game screen. You click on that icon to send the marriage offer. It should be of the same type that was initially agreed to in the betrothal.