This is just a few tips, usually works for me most of the time.
Diplo
- If you have a military idea chosen, only ever invest in it if you're "ahead" on the tech tree. If you're not ahead, then buy the tech first until you get ahead. This should also be done with Administrative ideas (so you can unlock more ideas groups faster). As for Diplo ideas, if you're not a naval power (like Austria or Burgundy) then just blow through the ideas as they pop up.
- Get allies... and get big ones. Choose a huge country that's a historically friendly neighbor or the next big country after your big neighbor. Never ally with a big neighbor country if you aren't historically friends (aka, like Poland and Lith or Austria and Hungary). For example, France should probably ally with Aragon (historically friendly neighbor), Hungary (one country past neighbor HRE), Denmark (one country past neighbor HRE) and Portugal (one country past neighbor spain). You only need a couple of big allies but you can usually keep these for a huge bulk of the game if you follow the format above. You should always be checking their relations and improving it as needed.
- The Military Defensive Idea group should be one of the first things you snag because of the battle plan below
Your Army
- You should have 2-3 medium sized stacks of troops sitting around (even 12 troops each is more than enough early game).
- A few medium sized stacks should win you most wars even late game because you don't want to blow your manpower pool in the first 3 months of a war by having monstrous blobs, especially since your war allies are blobaholics and just eat your manpower alive with attrition.
- Your troop build up should be something like 50% infantry, 25% cav and 25% artillery. Don't neglect artillery and cav because they're expensive, they are very good.
- Keep your stack troop count an even number, if you can. Like 12, 16, 20 each or something. This is for the sieging note below.
- Buy generals for your stacks when war breaks out, even if it means a military point penalty it's worth it.
Battles
- Battle defensively only. Whoever starts the attack "usually" gets hit with an attack penalty.
- When war breaks out simply get your stacks and don't carpet siege but simply stand there sieging a close group of enemy provinces and wait.
- Let them mess around (even if they're carpet sieging you) and do whatever they want and eventually they're create a big stack and attack one of your stacks.
- Once they attack, jump into the battle with your other neighboring stack(s). Remember, you're not trying to conquer territories at this point, you want to kill off their manpower. With the attack penalty + troop count, you should win the battle.
- Then rinse and repeat. Do this until you're confident that you've widdled down most of their major stacks then go on the "wipe them out" offensive, only initiating battles if you have a huge troop count advantage. If not, go back to doing the siege/wait routine.
- Once you've actually wiped most of their major stacks, only then should you start carpet sieging to win the war.
- Don't carpet siege using the button to "break off a piece of stack for the siege". Do it using the "split stack in half" button. This avoids getting the cavalry ratio penalty and decreasing your fighting power. I usually only split in half ONCE, it lets me siege twice the provinces while still keeping my troops very safe. If I know I can cover 100% of their provinces, I'll split more times.
- Always keep your troops sieging nearby one another and always make jumping into any new defensive (aka, attack penalty for them) battles that pop up a priority above completing the siege.
- Try to siege the war leader's weak allies first and make separate treaties with each one, save the war leader for last. This gets your max rewards.
- Keep your stability up to +1 and kill off War Exhaustion whenever you can, however, try to be super stingy with Diplo power during a war (aka, don't buy Diplo techs and ideas that come up until after the war). You need this for negotiating.