How to influence heir's education when in wife's court?

[HERC0]

My previous ruler's heir, who is now my current ruler, was married off to a duchess and they had a son together. With my previous ruler now dead, my current ruler has returned from his Duchess wife's court, but their son - my current heir - has remained in his mother's court and is being mentored by a fool! I have had the mentor assassinated, but it seems I cannot influence/choose a mentor for my heir at all? As he is in my ruler's wife's court, there isn't even an option to choose a mentor.

I have tried entering diplomatic negotiations with my ruler's wife to even allow my ruler - the boy's father! - to educate my heir and she will not allow in due to him being at the mercy of a foreign court...

It is very frustrating!

Is there anything I can do?

 

[dorukdorucu]

Kill her?

 

[yodaime]

Conquer her lands and execute everyone !

 

[HERC0]

Kill her?

But my ruler's heir is also her heir, so if I kill her then will he not gain her lands and titles and be able to choose his own mentor? Which wouldn't solve my problem as the AI will most likely make another poor choice (wrong education type, wrong culture of mentor etc.)!

 

[unmerged(88697)]

This is what happens when you marry your heir to a foreign court.

Had a similar situation in prior game, but wife's lands were within the empire so the new emperor brought everyone with him to court. When he died, their child assumed the purple and the mother went back to her lands. Then, after she died the emperor got all her lands. That's the way it's suppose to work.

 

[knppel]

that is why you arrange betrothals early, land your son when he's off age and then let him marry half of France.
Just give him any title, can be done right when the popup appears already, and such ensure he and all possible offspirng of his relations is part of your realm.
Also once he has a son ensure his rank is equal to his mother's to ensure land does not drift outside for a time in case the boy should for example inherit Fance first, then his father dies, or, worse, you have high CA; mother dies, your son dies and high CA forbids the boy landed outside your realm to inherit, setting his younger brother/sister/nephew/granduncle in line.

 

[Justin Pace]

Just cheat. Load up the game as her, and then find him a good mentor somewhere else.
If the AI won't do the right thing, make it.

 

[barny]

There is no real way to fix this now. That's, why marriage isn't really a good way to gain new land.

 

[Ritzzz]

That's, why marriage isn't really a good way to gain new land.

I would have to disagree with that statement. Marriage is the best way to get land within the same kingdom/empire if you are a vassal, and the best way to get claims overall. Hell, even the only way I can get claims for my invasions are through marriages.

You just have to be careful about landing and bethrothing your sons to prevent the issue stated in the OP.

 

[Silent_Thunder]

Could you imprison your son?

 

[barny]

I would have to disagree with that statement. Marriage is the best way to get land within the same kingdom/empire if you are a vassal, and the best way to get claims overall. Hell, even the only way I can get claims for my invasions are through marriages.

You just have to be careful about landing and bethrothing your sons to prevent the issue stated in the OP.

I'm talking as a king, not a count or duke of the same kingdom or empire. And landing your heir is also always bad, even so it might prevent your grandchild from getting the wrong culture and a complete abysmal education.

 

[EmperorBobman]

If you kill his mentor, you SHOULD be getting a prompt from one of your vassals asking to educate him. Accept that offer, no matter how bad said guardian will be and then manually switch the child's guardian once he's been moved to your realm. I think this should work.

 

[smeggy]

Foreign culture / remote education is the price for a marriage with a female ruler/heir and a landless son. The price gets higher when you've alrdy build some culture buildings in your castles.

Btw this can also happen when your wife is your technology studiing spymaster and the kid gets born overseas.

 

[Martinus]

Conquer her lands and execute everyone !

And they say modern day custody court battles are vicious.

 

[unmerged(88697)]

that is why you arrange betrothals early, land your son when he's of age and then let him marry half of France.

+1

 

[Zireael]

Btw this can also happen when your wife is your technology studiing spymaster and the kid gets born overseas.

How the heck can the kid be born overseas?