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Personally I don't use any, the vanilla game is more then good enough. I sort of feel that most of them are cheating and and remove some of the challenge.
Just about 2000 assets/mods combined. Most mods are just QOL things and very few actually change gameplay too far from Vanilla. Loading time is 1 minute even thank goodness, but I need to take a look at mesh info and unsub from the heavy stuff.
I have to cut it at 900-1000 (16 GB system), with about 100 of those mods. Loading times depend. At 800, it's at slightly above one minute, mostly thanks to the Loading Screen Mod, which also saves RAM.