How do you like them Naples?
A Neapolitan AAR
A Neapolitan AAR
First of all, I would like to apologize for that sad excuse for a pun in the title. Sadly, they won’t be getting much better from now on. Anyway…
Good morning, how are you? I’m drSandworm and welcome to my first ever AAR. I’ve been itching to do it for quite some time, but due to lack of time and other circumstances I’ve never had an opportunity to try it. Not until now, at least.
The reason why I chose Naples is, well…. aside from a chance to make a horrible pun, not many. I guess it’s because I haven't played much games in this area of the world (and I’m too traumatized to try playing in Russia again).
Naples starts off as a Catholic Italian nation ruled by a French monarch, with one decent province (out of four), an army of 1000 and a personal union with Provence which is ought to bring me more harm than good, regardless of who wins the French game of musical thrones. It has the potential to reunite Italy, conquer areas around the Mediterranean Sea, and maybe even restore glory that was once Rome. More realistically though, it will fail and become a pawn in the hands of Castile/Aragon/Austria/Flavor of the Week Blob in their struggle to control Italy. What destiny has in store for us?
…I don’t know, I’ve just started the game.
I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a “comedy” AAR, as I doubt I could make somebody laugh, so let’s just call it a less serious AAR.
RULES:
- no cheating
- no save file editing (like I would know how to do it)
- no rage reloading
EUIII DW v. 5.2, with MiscMod v.0,799. Normal difficulty; inflation on; historical lucky nations (that surely won’t come back to bite me later)
GOALS:
- Survive until the end of the game
- Retake Sicily
- Maybe possibly unite Italy
- Seize as much of the Mediterranean as I can
-
I like to consider myself a moderately competent EUIII player, but don’t expect something crazy like world conquest from me. Besides, I’d rather mess around and have fun with the game.
DISCLAIMER: This AAR may contain: mediocre game play performance, bad decisions, sad attempts at humor, overused jokes, double entendres, national stereotypes, references to other, better AARs and peanuts (but only after 1500). Viewer discretion is advised.
I am not a native English speaker, so feel free to correct me if you see some kind of grammatical error or a typo. As always, any kind of feedback is welcome.
Enough of my ramblings, sit back and enjoy!
TABLE OF CONTENTS
~Louis "Lois" II de Valois
Episode 1- Abbandon all Pope
Episode 2- Going Norman
Episode 3- Knocking on Emperor's Door
Episode 4- The Valois of Peace
Episode 5- A Devil Put Aside
Episode 6- The Family's Back Together.
Episode 7- The Milestone
Episode 8- In which Aragon wins the war, Louis gets bored and Crowley comes up with something sinister
Episode 9- War was Beginning
Episode 10- Louis the puppet master
Episode 11- Naples Stronk
Episode 12- A Beginning and an End
~Alfonso I de Valois
Episode 13- Repercussions of War
Episode 14- An Offer You Can't Refuse
Episode 15- Three Travelers from the North
Episode 16- A Man and His Hamster
50- Year Update: 1450
Episode 17- The Depressing Episode
Episode 18- Sweet Polly Oliver!
Episode 19- Sweet Polly Oliver! Part Two
Episode 20- Told Ya!
~Alberto de Valois
Episode 21- Passing the Torch
Episode 22- Are you Pondering what I'm Pondering?
Episode 23- Goodbye, Sweet Prince
Episode 24- Everobody Hates Austria
Episode 25- On Board
Episode 26- The Not- Yet New World
Episode 27- Everyone Loses Their Ship
Episode 28- Purple vs. Purple
Episode 29- Somewhere Beyond The Sea
Bonus Episode- Expedition of Filippo Savaranola
Episode 30- End of An Era
~Carlo de Valois
Episode 31- The Beginning Years of King Carlo
50- Year Update- 1500
Episode 32- The Ending Years of King Carlo
~Filippo de Valois
Episode 33- Conquest at Last
Episode 34- Bit too Early for Piracy
~Gabriele de Valois
Episode 35- Aziraphale's Secret Diary
Episode 36- Egyptwhackers
~Cezare de Borghese- Valois
Episode 37- Sweden is not OP
Episode 38- Coronation Day
Episode 39- The End of Naples? Part One
Episode 40- The End of Naples? Part Two
Episode 41- All is Fair in Love and Naples
Episode 42- The Madness in Naples
~Louis "Lois" II de Valois
Episode 1- Abbandon all Pope
Episode 2- Going Norman
Episode 3- Knocking on Emperor's Door
Episode 4- The Valois of Peace
Episode 5- A Devil Put Aside
Episode 6- The Family's Back Together.
Episode 7- The Milestone
Episode 8- In which Aragon wins the war, Louis gets bored and Crowley comes up with something sinister
Episode 9- War was Beginning
Episode 10- Louis the puppet master
Episode 11- Naples Stronk
Episode 12- A Beginning and an End
~Alfonso I de Valois
Episode 13- Repercussions of War
Episode 14- An Offer You Can't Refuse
Episode 15- Three Travelers from the North
Episode 16- A Man and His Hamster
50- Year Update: 1450
Episode 17- The Depressing Episode
Episode 18- Sweet Polly Oliver!
Episode 19- Sweet Polly Oliver! Part Two
Episode 20- Told Ya!
~Alberto de Valois
Episode 21- Passing the Torch
Episode 22- Are you Pondering what I'm Pondering?
Episode 23- Goodbye, Sweet Prince
Episode 24- Everobody Hates Austria
Episode 25- On Board
Episode 26- The Not- Yet New World
Episode 27- Everyone Loses Their Ship
Episode 28- Purple vs. Purple
Episode 29- Somewhere Beyond The Sea
Bonus Episode- Expedition of Filippo Savaranola
Episode 30- End of An Era
~Carlo de Valois
Episode 31- The Beginning Years of King Carlo
50- Year Update- 1500
Episode 32- The Ending Years of King Carlo
~Filippo de Valois
Episode 33- Conquest at Last
Episode 34- Bit too Early for Piracy
~Gabriele de Valois
Episode 35- Aziraphale's Secret Diary
Episode 36- Egyptwhackers
~Cezare de Borghese- Valois
Episode 37- Sweden is not OP
Episode 38- Coronation Day
Episode 39- The End of Naples? Part One
Episode 40- The End of Naples? Part Two
Episode 41- All is Fair in Love and Naples
Episode 42- The Madness in Naples
Last edited: