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Good news, everyone! The worst of the exams are finally over and I might be able to focus on writing again.
I'll start by uploading the next part today/ tommorow, I'll see how that goes
 
Episode 4- The Valois of Peace
Apparently, it isn’t very high in Naples
Victory celebrations lasted a whole week. Naples came out of the war on top, gaining two new provinces as well as a vassal. Not everything was all roses, though. Aragon and Venice had grown even stronger and could prove to be formidable foes in a struggle to control Italy. Closer to home (from Lois’ perspective, anyway), France has begun an effort to consolidate its divided holdings and has its eyes on the ancient de Valois home of Anjou.
That were dangerous times for Naples, but surely under the brilliant leadership of Lois II it would enter a new-

“*hic* Yeah! Bring me shum more wine!”

…yeah, things weren’t looking good.

“Sir, is it wise to be drinking every day for an entire week?”

“Nonshence, Adriano! We are *hic* celebrating our victory! Come on, grab a drink!”

“Sorry, my liege, but someone has to stay sober in order to control this whole mess. Anyway, I bring news. You want to hear them now or should I wait until you sober up?”

“I’m not *hic* drunk, Adriano! I’m *hic* perfectly fine! I can still down a whole bottle, shee?”

“No, no, it won’t be necessary. Anyway, news from Greece: unfortunately, the rebel sentiment in our new provinces is still significant. I suggest dispatching a garrison to deal with any uprisings.”



“I shee. Well, we have expanded our army to 8000 people recently, we have some troops to spare.”

“One more thing: it seems that the recent defeat at our hands was too much for poor Manuel. His son Ioannes was crowned a new Basileus”



“These are sad news. I will send my coun.. corn… *hic*..”

“Condolences, sir?”

“Yes! *hic* Cornononlences! I’ll start writing right away!”

“Is this a good idea, sir? You should rest a bit, I can handle the..”

“Nonsense, Adriano! It’s a king’s duty to support another king! I will deal with this alone! I.. will…”

He promptly fell on the floor

“My lord, I brought wine… Oh dear, did he pass out?”

“Yes, it appears our liege had a little too much attractions today.”

“I see. Should I take him to his quarters?”

“Please do. You were saying something about wine?”

“Yes, I brought it for the King. Do you want some?”

“*sigh* I suppose I do.”
----------------------------

The next day Lois proclaimed that he will never drink again, a statement as bold as it was futile. He finally finished his official apology, but him being Lois II, it didn’t end without a blunder. Turns out that writing “We look forward to seeing you at the next opportunity” to the leader of a country you have recently been at war with was not the best thing to do.



Thanks to its recent military successes, Naples gained a bit of recognition on the foreign scene. Artists and musicians from all of Italy gathered to help decorate the town square for the victory celebrations. They also helped pick new curtains for the royal bedchamber.



Not everyone in Naples was in a festive mood, however.

------------------
Naples, 23 November, 1409

The Deceased Crab was especially crowded that day. It is said that the tavern was founded in 1334 by some lowly duke looking for some excitement in his life. It has changed hands several times since then, and has gone through periods of better or worse fortunes. There was never a shortage of visitors though, mostly because it was situated near the city docks. The prices were reasonable, the service was quite good (beer-to-water ratio no less than 50%! Officially certified!) and it was quiet and clean. As such, it naturally attracted all sorts of shady people looking to make a deal, rip someone off, get ripped off or find a place to hide (city guards avoided this part of town out of fear of getting beat up).

Two people in particular stood up from the usual crowd. One was clearly a person from the upper classes judging by the way he dressed himself. There was a usual aura of posh snobbishness around him.
The other man also stood out because of his appearance, mostly because his outfit was so outdated that no one alive even remembers when it was popular. As for his mannerism, he could be best described by a certain word that meant ‘happy’ back then but changed its meaning over the years.
Fate had that the two men sat next to each other.

“Excuse me, Sir, is this seat taken?”

“Wha-? Oh, pardon me, I got lost in my thoughts for a second. No, I’ve been waiting for an acquaintance, but it seems that he won’t come.”

”Oh, thank you.”

The stranger kept looking nervously around the tavern.

”There’s a lot of people there.”

“Ah, yes, we have a lot of visitors lately because of the *he frowned*.. celebrations. You see, our wonderful ‘King’ conquered two worthless swaths of land and he’s all proud as a peacock because of it? Why, aren’t you a traveler too?”

”Yes, but you see, I traveled from quite far away and I didn’t have access to any news. Say, you mentioned the King, right?”

The man emptied his beer glass

“You mean that incompetent buffoon who just happens to wear the royal crown? *he scoffed* Bah! His presence is a thorn in my side, but not for long! You see, I, Ladislao Durazzo, a true heir to Neapolitan throne, have a plan that will put the regal crown back on its rightful place!”

The stranger’s eyes widened.

”So, you’re the heir to Naples?”

“Absolutely!”

He shook Ladislao’s hand energetically

”Sir, I’m very honored to have met you! You’re just the kind of person I’ve been looking for!”

Ladislao was a bit put off by the traveler’s sudden friendliness, but due to the rather high amount of alcohol running in his blood he let that one slide.

“Ooo.. kay, very nice to meet you. Say, I didn’t catch your name?”

”Antoine. Antoine Ziraphale, sir.”

“Can’t say I’ve heard about you. You say you’ve been looking for a heir of Naples, right? How about we order a drink and talk about it, then?”

”Sounds good to me! May this one be on me?”

“Sure. What it will be?”

“Maybe some soup?”

“A soup? Why not a beer?”

”Well, I don’t exactly drink alcohol”

“You aren’t one of them Turks, are you?”

”No, sir. It’s just.. an oath I took a while ago.”

“That’s okay. I’m fine with soup, I’m kinda hungry anyway”

(some time later)

“You see, Antoine, while this pompous French bastard was busy prancing about, I’ve been preparing my plan for revenge. Today I was about to meet my contact. With his help, I will arrange a hostile takeover of the throne.”

”That’s interesting. Say, is it safe to discuss such matters in public?”
“Relax. No one ever comes to this place to eavesdrop, mostly because it’s so obvious that only a stupid person would meet here to discuss illegal things. Anyway, soon you will see Naples reborn under a new lea- hnggg..!”

He stopped suddenly, clenching his throat. His mouth was wide open, desperately gasping for air, like a fish taken out of water. His skin soon turned a peculiar shade of pale blue

”Excuse me, sir, are you all right?”

”Sir, should I get some help?”
*THUD!*

”Sir?”

”Oh, dear…”



---------------------
Naples, 24 November, 1409

Lois II was sitting in his office. As he finally had enough time to sober up, he was feeling fine. His usual routine of filing congratulation letters and blatant (for everyone except Lois) “charity” embezzlements was interrupted by an unexpected guest.

“Adriano! What brings you here so early?”
“You have guests, sir”

“Ah, it’s you, Ludovico! Come in!”

Ludovico Francesco “The Pantless” di Balogna stepped into the room. Nominally a Baron of Apulia, he was once a formidable fighter, now he’s mostly remembered for his drunken antics. Disregarding that, he’s still mighty good with his sword, in more ways than one*. With him entered a number of nobles and dignitaries.

“Greetings, our noble *ahem!* King. Unfortunately, I bring ill news. I’m not sure if You’ve heard the news, but last night we saw an unfortunate passing of don Ladislao Durazzo, claimant to the Neapolitan throne.”

“That son of a… er, I mean, I am filled with grief after a death of such noble man. Shall I send condolences to the widow?”

“Yes, Sir, it is a black day for Naples. But that’s not why we’re here. You see..”

He took a deep breath

“Ladislao left no legitimate heir. With his death the claim to the throne is currently vacant. This forces us to consider the next in line, your son, as the heir apparent.”



“Soo… this means that the crown stays with de Valois?”

“*sigh*Yes, sir, it appears so.”

“Thank you, Ludovico. I must now be alone to contemplate.”

“As you with, sir.”

They all left, leaving only Lois and Adriano. The room was filled with silence for a minute. The silence was broken by a sound of a bell.

Giovanni entered the room.

“You called, sir?”

Lois’ expression changed suddenly. If he could smile any wider, the skin would tear off.

“Giovanni, bring my soft shoes, I’m gonna do a happy dance!”

------------
Naples, 3 May, 1410

It’s been six months since Ladislao Durazzo’ death, and things were looking pretty peaceful. With his succession now guaranteed, Lois felt more confident in his power and decided to make efforts to centralize the government.

“Sir, I bring important news. Some people are unhappy with your latest reforms and are seeking to install the upstart pretender to the throne.”



“Wait, haven’t we just lost a pretender recently?”

“Well, apparently this people were paid by Ladislao earlier and decided that they will do the job anyway”

“Aw, shocks. It’s not that they’re a threat anyway, right?”

“Well, not directly, but they’re terrorizing the villagers. Furthermore, they are spreading rumors about the apparent canine ancestry of your mother.”



“The bastards! Don’t worry, Ricardo will deal with those thugs.”

“One more thing, Sir. We’ve received news that the recent uprising in Siena against the Milanese rule has turned into open rebellion. The locals established the Republic of Siena and threw out the Lombardian nobility.”



“Interesting news, Adriano. Is that all?”

“It appears so, my lord”

“Very well. You are dismissed.”

“As you wish”

Adriano turned towards the exit. ‘Whew. It went better than expected. Thank God he didn’t ask abo..’

“Adriano..?

‘Oh no…’

“Yes, sir?”

“About that situation in Siena, do you think we could, you know… exploit it?”

‘Damn’

“Well, sir, war with Milan is out of the question, but the involvement of Pisa, our ally, has given us a valid cause for war should we desire it.”



“Sounds like a good idea!”

“Unfortunately, sir, Siena is formally an Imperial territory, and declaring war on them would bring upon the wrath of the Emperor himself”



“Well, it seems we will have to wait until they are looking the other way. Such a shame, it was a good opportunity too….. Say, what have you got in your hands?”

“Oh, this? *rustle* well, diplomatic papers. I brought them for approval.”

“Very well. But haven’t you got one in your pocket?”

“Wha..? *whoosh* I have no idea what you mean, sir.”

“Strange. I could’ve… wait, the litter bin has been emptied an hour ago, and now there’s some paper in it!”

“Wha.. oh no”

“It looks like members of the Milanese league against Siena. Let’s see… Milan, baden ,Salzburg, trier, Bohemia, Pisa…. Wait, Bohemia..?”

*sigh*



“Adriano, why haven’t you said it sooner?”

“It must’ve slipped my mind, sir”

“If Bohemia is at war with Siena, that means…?”

“Yes, sir, that means no one would come to Siena’s aid. I strongly discourage armed approach in this case, as we’ve just recently…”

He had already left

*sigh*

Adriano noted a half empty bottle of wine on the cupboard.

“This job is gonna be the end of me…”

--------------------------------
And thus the long awaited period of peace for Naples came to an abrupt end, as the country threw itself into the war in the name of glory.



The war looked like a short one. With neither Milan nor its allies interested in fighting, conquering Siena seemed like a sure thing. Once again, the truth proved to be more complicated.
-------
Naples, 10 May, 1410

“Sir, it’s strange to see you in civilian clothes, considering that you were so eager to wage war again.”

“Don’t worry, conquest won’t run away! There are still some things to take care of here, though.”

“Speaking of, I have a letter for you”

“What is it about?”

“I haven’t opened it. It’s from your cousin. It bears the royal seal and it seems he wrote it himself.”

“I’ll take a look.. *rustle* well…. ‘you slimy illegitimate upstart… curse on you and all of your descendants…. Not worthy of holding the crown….’ Oh, Charles, always with the sense of humor…’ I shall take away Anjou from your greasy grasp…’ wait…”

“Well, this doesn’t look good…”



“Shall I inform the War Council, sir?”

“First, I need to go to the bathroom”

-----------
“Adriano, what’s the situation in France?”

“It seems that the French are mobilizing their forces. It will take about a month before they reach Anjou”

“How big are Provence’s chances of victory?”

“About as big as chances for not dying from a horrible disease. Bohemia had pledged to help us, but I’m not sure if they can match France.”

“Very well. Currently our plan is to focus on Siena and wait for the turn of events in France. Provence is important, but we can’t risk Naples for it.”

“Okay, one more thing, sir.”

“Aragon have just declared war on Pisa.”



“Oh, for the love of…”

“We have received a letter from Pisa. They very much expect our assistance.”

“Wonderful. So our choices are: declare war on Aragon, risking a long and bloody war with a possible total annihilation of our country, or to leave Pisa to its fate, lose an ally and give even more ground to our enemy.”

“Well, it’s a good thing that I don’t have to make such a difficult decision, Sir”

“*sigh* Declare an emergency meeting of the Council. We need to discuss another war. Again.”



------------------------------------
*innuendo quota for this episode.... done!
Well, that's about it for this episode; I'm sorry it took so long to be made, but hopefully it had been worth the wait.
 
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Wonderful stuff - very entertaining, for sure.

I forgot how much I enjoyed this work in it's absence - here's to its continuation!

It looks like mixed fortunes for Naples, then - war with France is never good, Nevermind when compounded with two other wars. Hopefully things will turn out alright. Incidentally, some of the screenshots don't show up for me.

I'm looking forward to the next update.
 
So basically you now have a war with Aragon about to rage, the pope hates you and probably wants to excommunicate you at some point, and you also share a border with the Ottomans?

What could go wrong? :)
 
Wow.. This brings back memories of a game I played as Milan.
I was lucky enough to have united all of Northern modern day Italy including Rome and the rest of Italy (Corsica and Sardinia included) was controlled by Sicily.
I had a royal marriage and an alliance with Sicily which developed into a personal union around the year 1500.. but every time I tried to play past that save-point France, Castile, and Austria would either
gang up on me or just flat out kill me with their superior man blobs. :eek:o

Look forward to following this one!
 
Echoing what DensleyBlair said, very glad to see this up and running again. The tension behind the scenes is intriguing, and ... well, you're going to have a load of fun with all those wars. Looking forward to seeing where it ends up. Who's the war leader in the war against France - is it you? Because a Naples war leader can often force a white peace against France unless they have the navy to invade you, while Bohemia often gives up quite easily.

And I'm just wondering, is the king's name supposed to be Lois or Louis? It could be stylistically intentional - I call my Dutch kings by German names in my AAR, for instance. Though I've never heard of any male person called Lois, or Loïs, as Wikipedia suggests.
 
As, always, thanks for the feedback. I have my last exam tomorrow, so between this and moving out I might be quite busy for the next few days. But fear not, I'll be back soon!
Wonderful stuff - very entertaining, for sure.

I forgot how much I enjoyed this work in it's absence - here's to its continuation!

It looks like mixed fortunes for Naples, then - war with France is never good, Nevermind when compounded with two other wars. Hopefully things will turn out alright. Incidentally, some of the screenshots don't show up for me.

I'm looking forward to the next update.

Thanks again! I admit I did not expect war with France, at least not this early, but I suppose that's a thing about France- you never expect them (or was it something about Spain? I can never tell).
As for the screenshot issue... weird, the links seem fine. Do you have issues with other parts too? It might be because the internet connection is going derp, I've had it happen before. If this problems continue, be sure to let me now.

So basically you now have a war with Aragon about to rage, the pope hates you and probably wants to excommunicate you at some point, and you also share a border with the Ottomans?

What could go wrong? :)

Indeed, what could possibly go wrong? Don't worry, Louis has the situation under control. As for the Pope, well, he is eager to excommunicate, but fortunately not me... but I won't spoil too much

Wow.. This brings back memories of a game I played as Milan.
I was lucky enough to have united all of Northern modern day Italy including Rome and the rest of Italy (Corsica and Sardinia included) was controlled by Sicily.
I had a royal marriage and an alliance with Sicily which developed into a personal union around the year 1500.. but every time I tried to play past that save-point France, Castile, and Austria would either
gang up on me or just flat out kill me with their superior man blobs. :eek:o

Look forward to following this one!

Yeah, I remember that one game while playing as Savoy. Trying to form Italy is like trying to hold on to a ball in a game of rugby- there will always be someone ready to take you down.

Echoing what DensleyBlair said, very glad to see this up and running again. The tension behind the scenes is intriguing, and ... well, you're going to have a load of fun with all those wars. Looking forward to seeing where it ends up. Who's the war leader in the war against France - is it you? Because a Naples war leader can often force a white peace against France unless they have the navy to invade you, while Bohemia often gives up quite easily.

And I'm just wondering, is the king's name supposed to be Lois or Louis? It could be stylistically intentional - I call my Dutch kings by German names in my AAR, for instance. Though I've never heard of any male person called Lois, or Loïs, as Wikipedia suggests.

Thanks for the kind words! It'll sure be difficult, but as a certain game about controlling a bunch of alcoholic sociopaths have taught me, losing is fun!
Thanks for the advice, unfortunately I didn't use it cause I'm playing in advance :/.
As for the name, well, the game says it's Louis, and I think it's a proper French from, but MS Word dictionary says that Lois is correct too. Though I wouldn't be surprised if I spelled it both ways in this AAR.
 
Episode 5- A devil put aside
For me, for me, for meeee…

Paris, 19 June 1410

Amongst the ever colorful crowd of people on the Summer Fair one person in particular stood out. You could definitely say that he was a foreigner, but it was pretty much impossible to pinpoint where from exactly. He was wearing a long dark coat with a golden emblem on his chest- a snake wrapped around a tree, matching trousers and shoes made out of snake skin. A pair of purple spectacles were sitting on his nose, completely obscuring his eyes.

‘Ah, it’s been a while since I’ve been here. I like what they did with this city. I would’ve never guessed that the Frenchies would live up to something.” He thought to himself. Then again, last time he was in this part of the world this city was called ‘Lutetia’ and people were mostly speaking Latin.

Crowley had never spend too much time in one place, mostly because the locals were quick to cast him out. Maybe they were jealous of his looks, though his ability to bring misery and misfortune everywhere he went might had something to do with it.

He approached a street stand trader.

“Excuse me, Madam, may I have some of those fine apples?” He said, while trying to conceal his tongue. As you might expect, not many humans have forked tongues and it was usually quite hard to explain it before the locals prepare torches and pitchforks. And while, being a demon and all, dying wasn’t really a problem, applying for a new body took a lot of time and paperwork. Besides, Crowley liked his body and wasn’t particularly interested in losing it.

“Of course, dear. Here you go!”

He bought a pound of apples and ate one right away. He was always fond of apples, mostly for sentimental reasons.
Suddenly he felt a slight shake when a little boy bumped into him, almost causing him to lose balance.

“Sorry, mister!”

Crowley merely nodded and looked away. Then, he instinctively grabbed the boy by the wrist before he had the chance to run away.

”I believe you have something that belongs to me.”

The boy shook nervously, afraid of looking the stranger in the eye. He slowly reached for his pocket and pulled out a leather money bag.

“*Sniff*… I’m sorry, sir. Please, don’t turn me over to the guards! My mommy was fired from her job as a housemaid and we don’t have money for food and…”

Something similar to a smile appeared on Crowley’s face.

”Don’t worry. I won’t turn you in. Just pick your targets better next time. It appears that old Aumerger left his stand unattended again. If you hurry, you might pick it clean before he returns.”

“Thanks, mister!” The boy storms off.

‘Such a young lad, and already resorting to thievery… if he won’t get better at it, he might end up hanged.’ He thought to himself. Cities always fascinated Crowley. There was something charming about the sheer amount of human misery, spitefulness and cruelty confined in such a small space. He even helped with building some of them.

He was about to return home when a street artist caught his interest.

“Excuse me, sir. I was asked to deliver a message to you.”

Crowley stood curious when the singer strummed the strings of his lute, though the moment he started to sing something completely unexpected happened.

*Ahem*

“Lalalalala…”

CROWLEY, YOU SNAKE, WE’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU EVERYWHERE

He cringed. He always hated when they do that.

”Ah, yes, I wanted to send a message for a long time but I’m always very busy and..”

SAVE YOUR EXCUSES FOR SOMEONE ELSE. BESIDES, I’M NOT HERE TO BERATE YOU. YOU HAVE A JOB

”So what do the higher ups… I mean, lower downs want?”

WE NEED YOU TO GO TO NAPLES IMMEDIATELY AND OBSERVE THE SITUATION

”Naples? But, why?”

I DON’T KNOW, BUT THERE HAS BEEN SOME KIND OF DISTURBANCE. THE BOSS WANTS US TO INVESTIGATE

”A disturbance?

YES, SOME KIND OF SUBLTE SHIFT IN THE SPACE- TIME CONTINUUM

He quickly looked around him.

”Don’t say things like this in public! People still think that the Earth is flat! There might be riots!”

WHATEVER. I DON’T HAVE MUCH INFORMATION ABOUT IT. NOBODY HAS, REALLY. THE BOSS HAS BEEN REALLY SECRETIVE

”And you think this… disturbance, might be in Naples?”

DON’T BE STUPID. WE DON’T KNOW WHERE IT IS. THE MORE IMPORTANT COUNTRIES ARE ALREADY UNDER OBSREVATION. THAT’S WHY WE EVEN CONSIDER YOUR ASSISTANCE

”How… generous of you”

BE THANKFUL WE DIDN’T SEND YOU TO RYUKYU. NOW GO, THIS SINGING IS GETTING ON MY NERVES

”Funny, I was thinking exactly the same”

The singer was standing with a confused look on his face.

“Huh… What happened just now? My mind went blank..”

Crowley tossed him a dime.

”Thanks for the concert, ami”

‘Looks like I’ll have to sell my apartment. Well, I never liked it anyway….’
---------------
Naples, 25 August, 1410

The meeting of the emergency War Council went without complications, all things considering. In the center of the room was a big map with “Nepals batle plan” written on it. Louis, Ricardo and a number of nobles were standing around it, discussing strategies. The King was surprisingly silent during the whole ordeal, mostly nodding and agreeing.

The plan was simple in theory- half of Neapolitan army was sent to siege Siena, the other half stayed home to thwart invasion attempts. There was one problem though- the second half of the army was currently in Greece fighting rebels and had to be transported home, which wouldn’t be easy considering the strength of Aragonese army.

France was pretty much considered a lost cause- not only was Naples unable to safely transit troops, the troops they could spare wouldn’t be enough to stop the French menace.

The biggest concern was definitely Aragon- their army wasn’t big, but their superior navy would give the an important advantage in the region. They also had help- Sicily, their puppet, and the kingdom of Brittany



Adriano arrived just when the meeting was finished. Only Ricardo remained in the room.

“The King’s not there?”

“No, he already left. Said he was very tired.”

“Weird, he always has so much energy…. Long day, eh?”

“Yeah, I’ve been here pretty much all day listening to nobles squabble, and we all came to a conclusion that we probably can’t beat Aragon and we definitely can’t beat France.”
*sigh*
“But what brings you here? You’re not here just to chat, are you?”

“I had some news for the council…”

“I can present them to the council yesterday. You seem tired, get a day off.”

“Thanks, but I’m afraid it’s impossible with Louis… Anyway, I have some bad news and some bad news. Which one do you want?”

“Well, usually when someone gives you this choice you get news that are pretty insignificant compared to the bad news. Well, whatever. Give me the bad news first.”

“Okay, so our attempt to transport our troops to Naples failed because of the Aragonese navy. I’m afraid that they will be stranded until the situation becomes better.”



“So, I get to defend the country without an army? Lovely. I hope the good news are better.”

“Indeed they are. Looks like Bohemia’s declaration of assistance was more than just words. They have sent their men to Pisa and are currently engaging Aragonese troops.”



“So we won’t get a huge army marching into our territory? I’m relieved.”

“Well, that’s all. Take care! Send my regards to Louis.”

“I will, if we’ll show up at all.”

--------

It seems like Ricardo’s concerns were fruitless, as the Neapolitan navy managed to transport troops safely from Greece to Italy. They arrived just in time, too- a Sicilian army has just arrived in Calabria and threatened Naples itself.



Sadly, the situation in Provence fared much worse. The French have all but overran Anjou and Maine. Afraid of the possible invasion, Louis was forced to the negotiating table.

----------
Siena, 25 January, 1411

“Here, take this letter to Charles. I hope that he’ll cut himself on it and gets gangrene.”

“Aye, my lord.”

“Don’t be so down, my king, you only lost one province. It’s not the end of the world.”



“You don’t understand. It’s the land that my family comes from. And now it’s in the hands of this deranged halfwit!””

“Well, sir, there will certainly be an opportunity to take it back! Someday, I’m… almost… certain of it.”

“Yeah, someday…. So, how is the siege going?”

“Excellent, sir! The city should fall before us any time now.”

------------------------
Indeed, just a week after the disgraceful peace with France Siena had fallen before Neapolitan soldiers. The city- state was made a vassal to Naples.



There wasn’t much time to celebrate, as the Sicilian army has seized Calabria. Louis had to return to Naples immediately to defend the country.

--------------
Calabria, 14 August, 1411

“Sir, you sure you don’t want to wait for the rest of the army?”

“Nonsense, Ricardo! We can handle these dogs. Cavalry, charge!”



….

“No, Ricardo, you don’t have to say anything. We’ll just reinforce, wait for the rest of your army and…”

“I don’t think that will be necessary, my liege.”

“Excuse me, but you are….”

“My name is Alessandro Benciveni, my King, general of the Neapolitan Army and commander of the Greek Regiment, at your service”

“The nobles wanted a skilled general commanding the other half of the army. Adriano recommended Alessandro, as he was a nephew of king Antonio of Urbino.” Ricardo explained.

“Yes, after the… unfortunate events that happened a while ago I decided to serve under Naples.”

“My dearest condolences, son. Antonio was a dear friend. Anyway, what brings you here?”

“My troops have landed in Calabria and attacked the surprised Sicilian army. It was a smashing victory.”



“Well, that was unexpected.”

“Indeed. It seems that the Sicilian were demoralized after the last battle.” Alessandro explained.

“Wait, it means that our defeat… had a strategic purpose, right?”

“Indeed, sir! Wait, wasn’t that a goal to begin with?”

“Well… um, yes, of course! My goal was to soften up the Sicilian for the next battle! Come, Ricardo, we will tell the troops about how my brilliant strategy saved the day! Long live the King!”

Louis stormed off. Alessandro looked at him curiously.

“Is he… always like that?”

Ricardo just shrugged.

---------
Meanwhile, back in Naples

Sunrays were slipping through the curtains of the Royal Council chamber. Inside, Adriano was sitting next to a desk studying official papers. Suddenly he heard steps coming from outside the door.

“My prince, what brings you here?”

Alfonso de Valois, son of Louis and heir to the Neapolitan throne, was standing on the other side. Adriano was surprised, and a little concerned, that he found him there. Because of the war, the palace was under strict supervision. If a little boy sneaked past the guards, what about a spy or assassin?

“Don Adriano, when will Papa come home?”

He sighed.
“Your father is leading the troops protecting us from our enemies. He will be back when Naples is safe.”

“But Naples was safe! The Spanish didn’t target us, they targeted Pisa! Why did we have to fight them?”

“*sigh*You see, in politics, sometimes you must act against yourself. If we didn’t act now, we could be their next prey.”

“People are already tired of war! They don’t want to fight!”

“Tired? Can’t you see the new recruits marching outside? Look at the smiles on their faces. They can’t wait to serve!”



“But Don Adriano, these are clearly smiles of terror.”

“Nonsense!”

“And some of them are way too young.”

“*sigh* You see, I don’t like it either, but your father can sometimes be hard to dissuade.”

“But why does he insist on fighting all the time? Why can’t he come back to us?! I hate war! I’ll never fight when I’m older!”

He stormed off.

Adriano sighed heavily. It seems like the little ones feel the burden of war the most.
He felt sorry for Alfonso. He’s a good kid, but his father is away far too often (he was reminded of his own father, a Venetian sailor; he was always at sea; one day he sailed of and never came back…). He has his mother, sure, but a boy needs a father figure, especially if he is to be a king. We’ll need to find him a tutor. Well, we’ll think about it after the war is over.

The last document he looked at was a copy of a peace treaty between Aragon and Pisa.



They got off relatively easily. Maybe now Louis will calm down…

Key word being ‘maybe’

--------
Somewhere in south Italy, 6 December, 1412

After the fall of Siena there was almost 2 years of relative peace, with the occasional Sicilian or Aragonese raid, easily dispatched by the Neapolitan regiments.
Louis was waiting to meet up with the other half of the army, recently sent to Greece to dispatch an Aragonese army. Instead of Alessandro, as he expected, someone else greeted him.

“Greetings, my lord.”

“Welcome. Where’s Alessandro?”

“Well… *sigh*, there were complications.”

“What complications?”

“We’ve defeated the Aragonese army in Janina…”



“…but our fleet was ambushed when we were heading back.”



“Any casualties?”

“Well…”

----------
“Sir, Aragonese ships are closing in!”

“How much time do we have?”

“Not much. We won’t be able to escape with all the ships.”

Alessandro had a serious expression on his face.

“How solid is this ship?”

“It’s an old construction. It can survive two, maybe three volleys of fire.”

He took a deep, long breath.

“Mercutio, I want this ship on a collision course with the Aragonese fleet. Then, abandon ship and order the fleet to evacuate to Reggio.”

“But sir, you can’t beat them with just one vessel!”

“No, but I can slow them down enough to give you a chance.”


The pause that ensued was short, but felt like an eternity for everyone involved.

“Are you sure, sir?”

“It’s my final decision.”

Merkutio Betrivenni saluted him

“It’s been an honor serving under you, sir!”

“Same here!”

Alessandro was alone on the ship. He sat on the deck and readied his sword, buried in deep concentration. He didn’t pray- he already gave his dues to God on land, and knew that whatever sins he committed since then will be pardoned when he’ll die while defending Italy from foreign aggressor. He smirked ‘Italy. It’s been ages since anyone used this word as anything but geographical expression. Now it’s a land of a dozen kings, a hundred princes, where everyone takes whatever land they please.’ Maybe someday we will see a true Italy, united and proud, free of inner bickering and foreign ambitions.
Someday…



“Well, that’s what happened.”

Consternation filled the camp. Ricardo looked at Louis. There was something different in him. All of the usual joyful personality and semi- competence was gone.

“How long will it take for the ships to be operational?”

“It will take about four- five months, sir.”

“Ricardo, gather as many men as our ships can carry.” There was no fury or anger in his voice- there was something much more terrifying “We’re taking the fight to them.”

------------------------

So, under the cover of the night, Neapolitan fleet unloaded Louis II and 4000 men on the Sicilian coast. The island was completely undefended, and the soldiers immediately began siegeing major cities.



The Siege of Sicily lasted about a year. First Messina, then Palermo had fallen into Neapolitan hands.





With the island totally under control, Aragon was quick to sue for peace.

--------------------
Naples, 12 January, 1414

New Year was spend on celebrations of the long awaited peace. Louis was welcomed into Naples as a hero, something that would seem impossible two years before.

“Adriano! It’s been too long!”

“Yes, my king, you certainly took your time.”

“Well, it was worth it in the end! But tell me, what will I do now?”

“It might be a good idea to take care of your family. Your son is 9 years old now and needs a tutor.”

“Great idea! I’ll look into it. But now, let’s feast!”

There was indeed a lot of reasons to celebrate in Naples.



Because some wars are won, ever when they wave been lost.

-----------------------------
Okay, this one took me way longer than I expected. Sorry for the delay, but I hope that the length makes up for it somehow.
I hope that you enjoyed a more serious and story- heavy episode. I’ve been experimenting with different styles. Tell me if you think it’s good or not!
 
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I enjoyed that a lot - indeed, sometimes a loss should not be taken at face value. It would seem Naples performed well in that war.

Hopefully Alfonso will get the tutor he needs to become a ruler as great as Louis. And what on Earth is going on with the this 'space' and this 'continuum'? Such heresy will not go unpunished by the Lord! ;)

Looking forward to the next one.
 
I enjoyed that a lot - indeed, sometimes a loss should not be taken at face value. It would seem Naples performed well in that war.

Hopefully Alfonso will get the tutor he needs to become a ruler as great as Louis. And what on Earth is going on with the this 'space' and this 'continuum'? Such heresy will not go unpunished by the Lord! ;)

Looking forward to the next one.

Thanks for the kind words! As for Alfonso, I think it's everyone's concern that he WON'T become a ruler as 'great' as Louis.
As for this continuum thing... well, you'll have to find out for yourself :D

Update coming soon.
 
Episode 6- The Family’s back together.
Thought it might not seem apparent, there ARE screenshots in this update.

Naples, 25 April 1414

Naples did relatively well in the war against Aragon and people mostly returned to their daily routines by now. Despite their successes, the ensuing peace was greeted with joy by the overwhelming majority.

“Ah, Adriano! It’s good to be home again!”

After returning to Naples, Louis spent most of this time with his family, per Adriano’s advice.

“Yes indeed, sir! And there already are some messages for you!”

“What, already? How did they know I’m home?”

“Well I’m sure they heard your wife screaming ‘You useless mutt! You spend whole months playing soldier and I’m left here worrying!’, my lord.”

“Oh, well. What do they say?”

“Mantua seeks an alliance with us, sir. No doubt they are impressed after our war with Aragon.”



“What do you say, Adriano?”

“Meh. We can as well, I suppose.”

“Very well. Anything else?”

“Two more things, my King. First, Pisa is under attack by the despicable Venice.”



“That’s unfortunate. Wait, weren’t we allied with them?”*

“We were, but they didn’t send a courier.”

“Ah well, beats me.”

“One last thing. Remember when we were speaking about finding a tutor for young Alfonso? Well, I allowed myself to organize a casting for suitable candidates.”

“Splendid, Adriano! I don’t remember asking you for it, but you did a good job! Why don’t you tell me all about it?”


*(Actually, I’ve had that happen to me before- the alliances were just cancelled without any prompt. Could someone more familiar with the game clarify that for me?)
---------------

“So, what can you tell me about this first candidate, Antoine Zire… zairre..”

“Antoine Ziraphale, sir. He actually moved in here sometime before the war. He runs a bookstore near the town square.”

“A what?”

“A bookstore, my liege. It sells books- the things that you read when you’re literate. Though I can’t imagine he’s making a profit- books are rare, and they burn easily.”

“Have you met him?”

“Yes, he came here a while back. He was asking if he could take a look at the Royal Family genealogical records. I don’t know what he needed it for.”

“Maybe he wants to write a book about the deeds of the great house de Valois? Anyway, do you think he would be a good tutor?”

“Well, he seems… special, but he’s kind and polite, also pretty knowledgeable. Alfonso could certainly use someone who could teach him humidity and diligence.”

“Strange…. I feel… compelled to pick him. But I’ll trust your judgment. What are the other candidates?”

“Well, there’s Mr. Alexander Jarvis Crowley. He came to town recently.”

“What can you say about him?”

“Well, I’ve never met him, just seem him. He claims to have been a courtier in England, though we can’t check if it’s true or not, he certainly looks like a noble. I have no idea why would he come here of all places.”

“He must’ve heard tales of my bravery in battle! So, anyone else?”

“No, sir. They were the only two.”

“What?! You must be joking! There couldn’t be only 2 candidates!”

“There were more, but they all resigned, for some strange reason.”

“Ah, well…. but still…. It’s a tough decision. I really want to pick this Antoine, but that Crowley fellow… Ah! Adriano, help me out here!”

“Well, sir, I’m afraid you’re the only one that knows your son enough to make this decision.”

“But it’s soo hard… wait… Can’t I choose them both?”

Adriano raised his eyebrows.

“Both? It that necessary?”

“You see, if I choose them both, I won’t have to choose! I sometimes surprise myself with how smart I am!”

“*sigh* Well, this sounds expensive, but as you wish, sir.”



“I’m sure this is a sound decision! Send the letters to this fellows, Adriano. I want to meet them!”

Adriano slowly moved towards the exit.

“You know, someone told me once that every man has an angel and a devil watching over him and fighting over his soul.”

He didn’t know how close he was to the truth.

---------------------

Antoine Ziraphale was going straight ahead, paying no attention to his surroundings, occasionally bumping into people. He wished he was more familiar with the city’s layout after all this time he’s been living here.

He left his bookstore to old Don Farnicelli, along with most books- the ones with the most sentimental value were in his bag, along with most of his stuff.
He was wondering about how it is being a tutor. He didn’t have any experience as a teacher, though he did know quite a bit about classic literature and could speak in a number of languages. Was it going to be enough? And finally, won’t anyone be concerned about a foreigner taking a job as a tutor? He said something about wanting to write a study about de Valois rule in Naples, though he wasn’t sure if that was a good enough excuse. Still, it seemed far better than the truth.

Not many people would believe in the “I’m an angel send on a mission by God to spy on you” story.

After five years here, he was getting a little frustrated (a really hard feat for an angel). So far he have found nothing- there was nothing out of ordinary here (except for noblemen running pantsless across the street, but he kinda got used to it). So, he thought to himself, he must take his search higher**- he could learn more if he had access to the palace. The problem was, people weren’t just given jobs in the royal palace.

‘Well, perhaps not here’ he thought as he approached the royal estates’ gates.

“Halt! Explain your arrival.”

”Please, sir. I have an appointment with Your Highness Louis.”

He showed the guard his letter.

“Hmm… Looks legitimate. But watch yourself! You don’t wanna know what we do to thieves here.”

”Weird. I didn’t hear about anyone stealing from the palace.”

“Exactly.” The guard flashed a toothless smile.

Oookay.” He shrugged and stepped into the main hallway.

He looked around the palace. The building was spacious- excessively so, as there was much more space than anyone could ever need. He wondered what was the point of such a waste of materials.

He was directed into a room on the highest floor. Inside there were two men, a boy and a woman. One of them was easily identifiable as Louis. He was wearing an improbably big blueish- purple outfit, dotted with gold and silver studs. It would look pretentious even on Charlemagne.

Next to him stood a tall man dressed in black. He was wearing pink spectacles on his nose (Why does he need them indoors?). He seemed very familiar…

The woman, he assumed, was the Queen of Naples. She was wearing a much more refined outfit than his husband, and seemed a graceful, if stern woman.

The boy was about ten years old. He was more similar to his mother than his father (and thanks the Heavens for that!).

The king spoke first. “Ah, at last our final guest! Mr. Antoine, I’d like you to meet my wife, Eleanor and my son, Alfonso!”

“I hope you do not always keep a woman waiting, don Ziraphale. It is in very bad taste.”

”I’m terribly sorry, my lady. I was very busy sorting out my stuff.”

“Ah, Eleanor, don’t be so hard on him! He came from so far away just to see me! Anyway, Mr. Antoine, I’d like you to meet your partner, Mr. Alexander. *yawn* Man, I’m tired. Okay, that’s all from me! My chancellor Antonio will explain the details for you. Good night!”

He left, along with his wife and son.

Antoine was looking at him with a prolonged bafflement. Only a loud cough had broke his amazement and made him realize he’s not alone in this room.

”So… It’s a small world after all, eh?”

Then, after hearing this voice, he had an epiphany. The room was filled by a sound of a bag filled with books landing on a floor.

”It’s You!”

”Nah, is that how you greet an old friend? Long time no see, Aziraphale.”

”Crawly! What brings you here, of all places?”

”I suppose the same thing as you?”

His eyes widened. ”Don’t tell me… that Hell is also interested in this *looks around* quantum hole-type thing?”

”Maybe… wait, you’re not spying, are you?”

”Even if I were, would I tell you, would I?”

”Knowing you, you probably would *laughs*… So, you thought you’d have a better point of view if you get in the royal palace?”

”Indeed. Wait, did you… ease your way in as well?”

Aziraphale really didn’t want anyone to know about it. Well, it wasn’t cheating per se, he just altered the thoughts of some people. Nothing major, really, they just had a sudden feeling that going anywhere near Louis is s seriously bad idea***.

”You’re more clever than I thought. Wait, you were going by A. Ziraphale, never mind.”

”Looks who’s talking. You wouldn’t fool anyone for long, Crawly.”

”Actually, I prefer Crowley myself, so I’m going by this name now.”

”Fine by me. Anyway, what do we do now?”

”Well, we’re stuck here anyway until we get results, so how about an armistice?”

”You suggest I should trust a devil?”

”Hey! We are actually very good at keeping deals! Only in most cases they don’t go by as you expected…”

”You’re not planning on corrupting this boy, are you?”

”You for one should know I don’t do minor bargains, angel.”

”*sigh* Very well, I will join forces with you, but only to find out what’s going on!”

”It’s a deal then!”

He took out his hand and Aziraphale shook it. They proceeded to go to their rooms.

[c]”And… Aziraphale?”

”Yes, Crowley?”

”You know, it’s good to see you again.”

….

”Same here.”



**(Quite literally in this case- Louis made sure that the Royal Palace is visible from all parts of Naples. His response to city growing in size was simple- build more tall towers. Louis’s obsession with tall and pointy things had been a subject of many historical essays, and even more vulgar bar songs.)
***(Some people might actually call that ‘common sense’)

------------------


The following years were relatively peaceful for Naples. The country’s stance in international politics was strengthened by royal marriages with Portugal, and later England and Burgundy (though the two former ones took two tries).





However, reports from Europe proved that there was a storm coming. In Bohemia, controversial teachings of one Jan Hus had led to his arrest and execution.



In February 1415 Venice made a hasty peace with Pisa, as their homeland was being occupied by Bohemia. Alliance with Pisa was restored in circumstances safe for Naples.



Meanwhile young Alfonso was growing older under the watchful eyes of his tutors. Aziraphale and Crowley proved to be surprisingly decent teachers despite their lack of experience. They both were watching each other closely, so that they wouldn’t drag the boy to their side. As such, young Valois became a rather well- adjusted individual, unlike his father. Aziraphale taught him about keeping records and managing resources, while Crowley provided sound, if morally ambiguous advice on international politics.

Unfortunately, the both proved unable to teach him about the art of war.

”You see, my dear, violence is wrong! There are always better alternatives. For instance, you can always ask politely for what you want! Surely, if you appeal to their sense of morality those bad, bad invaders will understand!”

”Well, son, I say war is a crude and inefficient way of solving problems. Why waste time and effort chasing down a foe on a battlefield when you can assassinate him in his sleep? Or better yet, bribe some of his men and let them kill each other!”

Apart from that, it seemed that the future of Naples was in good hands.
Until then though…..


----------

You could notice that this update is has considerably less screenshots and more plot. I was originally shorter but I decided to split it in half because I was afraid that the length was getting out of hand.
 
Thank God – I was worried that the tutors would prove trouble. Not in a Crowley sort of way – more like death-type trouble. People who suspiciously get jobs by default are never wholly trustworthy, I find.

Naples seems to be doing well for itself diplomatically - lots of nice royal marriages. And I enjoyed the more 'prose heavy' aspect - obviously, you don't always have to be so verbose, but just to let you know it's not a problem for me.
 
Thank God – I was worried that the tutors would prove trouble. Not in a Crowley sort of way – more like death-type trouble. People who suspiciously get jobs by default are never wholly trustworthy, I find.

Naples seems to be doing well for itself diplomatically - lots of nice royal marriages. And I enjoyed the more 'prose heavy' aspect - obviously, you don't always have to be so verbose, but just to let you know it's not a problem for me.

Thanks, as always, for your words of encouragement. As you can see, I'm experimenting a little with this AAR, trying out different styles to see which one fits best. The updates won't always be this plot heavy, as now I've been introducing new characters and plots. Though, I will try too keep things interesting!


Sorry for the lack of updates. I've been on my internship for the last 2 weeks. I swear, every day I returned home more tired than the day before. Don't worry, I'll return to updating regularly now.
 
'Nepals batle plan' made me laugh. It's only a matter of time before you find that other impostor country called Nepal and both of you can have a go at each other to see who's boss. And alliances will cancel if a country is forced to cancel treaties as part of demands for peace, dishonours an alliance or just outright cancels it - it's possible that your message settings might not be configured to display these changes as a pop-up, or if it changes religion, possible, if a OPM performs a narrowminded switch which changes their only province to a heretic religion, upon which heretic rebels spawn and force-covert the country.

Reading your posts again, I realised that having to deal with both France and Aragon's navy at once would have made the white peace strategy with France extremely difficult to achieve since it relies heavily on killing French fleets / French landing armies of a couple regiments or so per cogdrop. I guess it's good that you got out of it giving up only one province, but to be honest that simply means they'll be back for more soon. I wonder what your plans for Naples are now that you've sorted out those wars - you might want to get some nice allies to help you out when France comes back for the rest of Provence.

I'm not a big fan of supernatural/science fiction in AARs due to the very high risk that it could turn into a deus ex machina - literally, even, in your case. But I'm interested to see how this new bend ties in with the fate of Naples in general. If anything, a certain creepy otherworldly guy speaking in a different and very hard to see, this is not good colour with an unusual fondness for apples reminds me of ... JUST ACCORDING TO KEIKAKU! Translators' note: Keikaku means plan.

Interesting to hear that you're on an internship, where is this? Don't let things like AARland distract you from real life business - a good internship in a field that you enjoy is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and can help you build contacts and connections for your future career.
 
'Nepals batle plan' made me laugh. It's only a matter of time before you find that other impostor country called Nepal and both of you can have a go at each other to see who's boss. And alliances will cancel if a country is forced to cancel treaties as part of demands for peace, dishonours an alliance or just outright cancels it - it's possible that your message settings might not be configured to display these changes as a pop-up, or if it changes religion, possible, if a OPM performs a narrowminded switch which changes their only province to a heretic religion, upon which heretic rebels spawn and force-covert the country.

Reading your posts again, I realised that having to deal with both France and Aragon's navy at once would have made the white peace strategy with France extremely difficult to achieve since it relies heavily on killing French fleets / French landing armies of a couple regiments or so per cogdrop. I guess it's good that you got out of it giving up only one province, but to be honest that simply means they'll be back for more soon. I wonder what your plans for Naples are now that you've sorted out those wars - you might want to get some nice allies to help you out when France comes back for the rest of Provence.

I'm not a big fan of supernatural/science fiction in AARs due to the very high risk that it could turn into a deus ex machina - literally, even, in your case. But I'm interested to see how this new bend ties in with the fate of Naples in general. If anything, a certain creepy otherworldly guy speaking in a different and very hard to see, this is not good colour with an unusual fondness for apples reminds me of ... JUST ACCORDING TO KEIKAKU! Translators' note: Keikaku means plan.

Interesting to hear that you're on an internship, where is this? Don't let things like AARland distract you from real life business - a good internship in a field that you enjoy is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and can help you build contacts and connections for your future career.

Well, Nepal-that would be a good match for the might of Naples! Actually, there aren't many Nepal AAR's out there, so this might be an interesting idea.
I appreciate all of your insights. As for the France strategy, I have no problem defeating their boarding parties, but seeing how stubborn the AI can be sometimes they might stall the war long enough that they will bring in allies that CAN do me harm.

As for the supernatural AAR's, it can go both ways- I personally think that a well made supernatural AAR can put an interesting spin on things. Don't worry, though, as this aspect won't play that big of a role anyway- I mostly wanted to have characters that'll be there for the whole series.

I was a little worried about Crowley's text being hard to read- thanks for pointing that out. I'll change it in the future updates- be sure to tell me if it's okay then.

Well, as for my internship, I went to the hospital (I study medicine). The internships are actually absolutely mandatory for me to pass.

Will be following with interest and enthusiasm!
Glad to have you on board!
 
Episode 7- The Milestone
Not to be confused with ‘millstone’- that would be Louis.



Naples, 24 March, 1420

Late in the afternoon of this not particularly pleasant day, Adriano sits alone in his room writing official correspondence for Louis to sign. He doesn’t have to do that, as today’s his day off, but he doesn’t have anything else to do. That is, until someone sneaks into his room.

“Figures you’d be working your ass off on a free day.”

He recognized Ricardo’s voice.

“Ricardo! And I thought you forgot about me in your moment of triumph!”

“Oh, stop that! It’s not a big deal.”

“Being promoted to major general, not big deal, eh?”

“Well, you know, I’m still kind of overwhelmed…”

“Don’t worry. You deserved all of it. Anyway, weren’t there more official meetings?”

“I excused myself. They were all boring anyway… By the way, I brought wine.”

He produced a bottle out of his coat.

“Well, fancy that. I might actually accept your offer. You know, I have a reason to celebrate of my own.”

“Really? What is it?”

“It’s been 20 years since I begun working for Louis.”

“Well, we better get glasses then!”



1 GLASS


“Can you believe, working 20 years?”

“Yeah, be better roll you up in a blanket, grandpa.”

“Very funny, you’re not much younger than me!”

“So, what was it like, working for Louis?”

“Well… ‘interesting’ might be a right word. Louis can be very hard to work with sometimes, he can be very stubborn and self- absorbed, but his a good soul deep inside.”

“Aww.. that’s sweet.”

“Oh, shut up and give me more wine. What wine is it anyway?”

“It’s ‘Chateu du Sewag” year 1415.”

“You brought me 5 year old wine? Cheapskate.”

“Hey! It was a very good year!”

“Mmm, maybe you’re right. It’s the year when Castile took a bite out of Ottomans, remember?”



“Yeah. I still can’t figure out why they did that. Sometimes the ways of the AI… I mean, politics are a mystery to me.”

“It’s because it takes years to master the secrets of diplomacy.”

“Yeah. It’s a shame that for some people ‘diplomacy’ begins and ends with ‘excommunicate everyone!’, like it happened with Aragon, remember?”



“Actually, that one made Louis very happy.”

“Yeah, I can’t stand the bastards either. Shame nobody took advantage of it. Must be because of their alliance with France. Damn cheese- eating mongrels.”

“Be careful. You might upset one certain French cheese- eater here.”

“Well *holds up glass*, here’ to him!”




5 GLASSES LATER


“Man, I can’t remember a year more boring than 1416.” Ricardo sighed.

“Yeah, nothing really happened that year. Maybe because Lady de Valois put Louis practically under house arrest. He couldn’t go anywhere near the stables.”

“Considering the time he spent in harm’s way, I’m not surprised. *hic!* Excuse me… anyway, he managed to sneak out one day.”

“It’s because somebody forgot to lock the doors overnight. My money’s on Crowley. Regardless, Lady Eleanor found him really quickly. Must be some kind of wife’s sixth sense.”

“I gotta say, he’s got one thing going for him- it’s hard to keep him down. Actually, while we’re at it, what do you think about young Prince’s new tutors?”

“ I, for one, am relieved. With Louis I could’ve expected anything, but to my surprise, the hadn’t turned out to be homicidal maniacs.”

“Well, it would be bad for your reputation if the tutors found by you killed the prince. So… what can you say about Mr. Ziraphale?”

“He’s a funny guy, though I think he needs to loosen up a little. You can’t be too serious around Louis or else you’ll go crazy.”

“Actually, do you think he… y’know, bends the other way?”

“What? This close to Rome?! I doubt it. I think he’s just eccentric, that’s all.”

“*hic!* Maybe you’re right. He’s not like that Crowley fellow, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah, Crowley. I remember, there was this really annoying fellow who kept sending ‘strongly worded letters’ about how the new workshop obstructs the view from his window. Crowley took care of the guy in less than two minutes!”



“Aye, I remember. Bloody aggravating git that guy was. I almost wanted to take some of the guards and have a ‘chat’ with him.”

“Hey, you shouldn’t *Hic!*… ahem, abuse your power like that. It’s always better to resolve things peacefully. Well, I’m sure, though after that conversation he was… quite pale… hmm…”

“Heh, you got to agree, Crowley is a mean piece of work. It’s a good thing he’s on our side, then! *hic!* Ah, my throat is dry!”



5 GLASSES MORE


“*hic!* I tell you, Adriano… this damn Venetians… brought it upon themselves.”

“Aye, this was a pretty harsh peace on their part. Still I don’t *hic!*… sorry, think that their decline is a good thing. Venice, and Milan before them were strong buffer states. Now that they’re gone, there might be rereper…. I mean, counsesese…. I mean, bad things might happen.”



“Bah! Everyone knows that merchants can’t properly protect a country! They need proper army!”

“You know, the Byzantines were probably thinking the same thing back in 1204…”

“Eh, Byzantines are history now. Besides…. *hic!* why would the Hungarians need Parma anyway?”

“*hic!* I don’t know. Must be the cheese.”

“Yeah… They should have a word with the Louis, though he mostly has French ones.”

“ *hic!* Ah, sorry… I don’t think Louis’ supply of French cheese is that big after, you know…”

“Oh yes… this…”


---------------------------------
Naples, 7 January, 1418

A knock on the door brings Louis back from his contemplation.

“I weren’t expecting any visitors now.”

A young boy enters the chambers.

“Sorry, my King, I’m a messenger with a letter for you.”

“Can you leave it with Adriano? I’m in a middle of getting a manicure.”

“I think you want to take a look on this one, my liege.”




“Amm… am ama am…”

“Is everything all right, my liege?”

“Giovanni… call for Adriano… but first… bring me…. new pants…. preferably dark ones.”



--------------------------------
MEANWHILE, ANOTHER BOTTLE WAS OPENED.


“Sho.. the war with France… went just like the last one, right?”

“Pretty much. Apart from nobles *hic!* trying to force new privileges on Louis that is.”



“At least that went without incident.”

“Incident, Adriano? Our nobles killing themselves for privileges? What do we think we are, Polish?”

“I suppose *Burp!* so… But we had more luck than the Irish, with the recent revolt there..”



“Wait, Irish all of a sudden?”

“Yeah, there was a *hic!* rebellion in Ireland and a new country of *hic!* Tyrone was born.”

“Why do you tell me this?”

“ I just thought you might like to know.”

“Ah… Anyway they are incredibly doomed. And returning to France…”

“*hic!* Wait, when did we go to France?”

“*sigh*… Well, to be honest, we did a good job defending our lands from the French.”



“Yeah, but unfortunately it was all for nothing…”



-----------
Naples, 22 February, 1419

Royal chamber of Naples; King Louis is sitting in his throne getting a manicure. Suddenly, a high guard storms in.

“What? *hic!* Another flashback?”

“Shhh! You’re not supposed to be in that scene!”

He is stopped by a royal guard.

“Halt! What brings you here?”

“Sir, a French diplomat is waiting outside.”

“ I already told him I won’t accept his outrageous proposals!” The king spoke.

“Funny how the smallest dogs always bark the most.” The voice coming from the stairs had a distinct French accent.

“How dare you come in uninvited and insult our King! I’ll teach you some manners!”

“Oh please, by all means, harm a messenger! I’m sure King Charles would be delighted should he hear about your hospitality. Anyway, here’s a deal: give up Provence and you get to keep playing a puny king.”

“And what makes you think I will listen to you?”

“I’m sure THIS will.”

He hands Louis a letter.




-------------------------------

“And thatsh pretty much how it went.”

“Who do you know if you weren’t there?”

“Crowley told me. Anyway, Louis was furious.”

“I can imagine *hic!* Man, this French diplomat was such a jerk! If only we could..”

“Well *hic!*… He never reached France. Crowley told me. He fell from his horse down a cliff into a pile of burning manure. *hic!* An unfortunate accident. A response from Louis had to be sent again.”

“Yeah… *burp!* he had to do his nails again. Poor guy… *hic!*. It’s a shame about Provence, really.”



“Yeah, it was hard to convince Louis that *hic!* we can’t realisti….. eallly defend it.”

“Yeah, I felt bad about it too. Anyyyway… have you heard the recent news?”

“No… what of it?”

“Aragon is at war with Castille.”



“That’s great news! Let’s drink to that!”




8, OR MAYBE 5, I LOST TRACK, DRINKS *HIC!* LATER



“Sooo… who do you think will win, Adriano?”

“Well… *hic!* I don’t know. I’m not exactly rooting for *hic!* anyone really.”

“Same for me *hic!*. Man, you look bad. You should *hic!* go to sleep.”

“What?! *hic!* I’m fine! Don’t treat me like a… a…”

*BONK*

“*sigh*He fell flat… Jeez, now I have to take care of him. He should know his limits, if he can’t restrain himself then… then…”

*BONK*

-------------------------

On the next day, Giovanni, while cleaning, found two men with severe headache lying on the floor.

Meanwhile, trouble was brewing in Europe once again. Iberia was soon to be engulfed in conflict. Ireland was in the middle of a civil war, with England looking to prey on the situation. Venice was in turmoil after a major defeat. In the east the Ottomans were struggling to defend their territory against the Mongols and Western powers, while the great steppe empire of Golden Horde was collapsing.

It was the year of Our Lord 1420, and Albrecht II of Austria was elected the Emperor of Rome.

Only time will tell what future has in store for us all.

 
Certainly a novel way of providing an overview – very enjoyable. Interesting to see so much has gone on outside of Naples, though the situation with France would have been very annoying, I'm sure.

Will you be looking capitalise on Aragón's state of war? Maybe you could pull something off?
 
Oh dear, another Provençal province gone. It's a slippery slope, defending Provence from the French, and unfortunately it seems to be the case that losing the first time is basically the death knell for the whole excursion.

Aragon is seriously being a major nuisance, and allying with France (good god, why?! didn't they read the loading screen tips about Rousillon?) is just the icing on the cake. Or the scum on the frothing morass of gunge. As long as they don't call France into the war with Castille, they'll almost definitely get overrun because their AI really seems to be far too ambitious for its own good and underestimates Castille's ability to rebuild even after disbanding all their troops, as well as getting their galley fleets sunk by Castille's big ships. My advice is to wait a few months to see if they call France in. If the alliance breaks invade at once, otherwise wait for Castille to start occupying lots of Aragonese land before attacking to minimise the chance that France aids them.

Reclaim Sicily and teach those Franco-Iberian scum a lesson they won't forget!
 
Oh dear, another Provençal province gone. It's a slippery slope, defending Provence from the French, and unfortunately it seems to be the case that losing the first time is basically the death knell for the whole excursion.

Aragon is seriously being a major nuisance, and allying with France (good god, why?! didn't they read the loading screen tips about Rousillon?) is just the icing on the cake. Or the scum on the frothing morass of gunge. As long as they don't call France into the war with Castille, they'll almost definitely get overrun because their AI really seems to be far too ambitious for its own good and underestimates Castille's ability to rebuild even after disbanding all their troops, as well as getting their galley fleets sunk by Castille's big ships. My advice is to wait a few months to see if they call France in. If the alliance breaks invade at once, otherwise wait for Castille to start occupying lots of Aragonese land before attacking to minimise the chance that France aids them.

Reclaim Sicily and teach those Franco-Iberian scum a lesson they won't forget!

Yeah, after the last war I did the only sane thing I could and cancelled the alliance with Provence altogether. Maybe if I'd stall during the last war as you suggested it would be different, though I don't know. The worst part is, I can't do anything about them DoWing me, as they go for Provence (and I'm called in automatically.)

Certainly a novel way of providing an overview – very enjoyable. Interesting to see so much has gone on outside of Naples, though the situation with France would have been very annoying, I'm sure.

Will you be looking capitalise on Aragón's state of war? Maybe you could pull something off?

Thanks for the kind words! I'm trying to mix up narrative a bit to keep things interesting. Great to know it works out!

As for your both questions about Aragon, there are 3 things that prevent me from capitalizing on the situation:
1) Thanks to Aragon being a pest during my last war, I now have a truce on them. I can't intervene unless I'm willing to break the truce
2) France honoured the alliance with Aragon, much to my dismay, and they are quite eager to help too!
3) Castille went kinda derp in this war. I won't say too much to avoid spoilers, but backstabbing Aragon during that time wouldn't be the best idea

That said, I hope that the situation with Aragon will be solved in the future. I just have to be patient- the cores won't run away (I won't lose them unless the provinces culture- flip)


A MATTER OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE

It has come to my attention that Crowley's lines are difficult to read. I would like to rectify that. So, here are some suggestions as to how to fix things!

OPTION 1

"Wait, but I like my voice that way it is!"
"Shut up and get on the table.

The old, eye- straining option.

OPTION 2

"Just don't say anything, Aziraphale. Especially not the P wor..."
"But Crowley, why pin.."
"IT'S NOT PINK! IT'S CALLED PLUM! God... Sat... Someone-damnit!"

In this option, Crowle gets in touch with his girly side (Aziraphale's voice stays the same).

OPTION 3

"Goldenrod... this name reminds me of something... but what?"
"I don't know.... a city, perhaps?"
"I pemember something about cows.... And lots and lots of pain."

The "Pokemon games expanded my color name vocabulary by 150%" edition.

OPTION 4

"Ah! at last, a font that looks just as menacing as me!"
"I don't know. It looks pretencious to me."
"Shut up or I'll set you up with Comic Sans."

The Changed Font option; kind of a bold move (see what I did here?). I might consider other font types.

OPTION 5

"*Sniff*... Aziraphale... what happened to my voice?"
"What are you talking about? You sound exactly like everyone else."
"*Sniff*... Exactly! That's terrible!"

In this version, no more stupid voices, Aziraphale and Crowley talk normally and I use narrative to determine who's talking.

As always, feedback is appreciated. I await your opinion on this subject.