Ok my friends! Finally I started my vacation so now I'll have time to relate you the adventures of the Golden Horde!
First, a small update. I'm using this one to test tose pesky vB tags. More to follow, don't worry. Feed-back will be truely appreciated!
20th of April, 1493
My dear diary, we are currently at war with Russia. Sadly, after a meeting with our cartographer, I’ve found that we don’t share borders with Russia (damn!) so, in order to slaughter them we’ll need to slaughter the poor bastards of Ryazan first. It’ll not be as funny, but a slaughter is always a slaughter... So right now I’m commanding an expeditionary force of 14000 infantrymen and 5000 cavalrymen into the province of Tambow. We’re singing one of our famous battle songs.
Oh when the horde, oh when the horde! When the horde goes marchin’ in, marchin’ in! oh when the horde goes marchin’, oh when the horde goes marchin’ in, marchin’ in!
7th-17th of June, 1493
After randomly riding around the steppes for over a month, one of our scouts came
Scout Sir, we’ve discovered the enemy camp ten miles straight ahead!
Me 
Good!
Meanwhile, at the Ryazan camp, inside the officer’s tent...
Ryazan Colonel Can I have another cup of tea, please?
Ryazan Commander Of course. Will you have some milk with it?
Ryazan Colonel Yes please. Ah... you gotta love living at the steppes. It’s so... brutal, so... uncivilized, so... manly
Ryazan Commander Lemon?
Ryazan Colonel Yeah, thanks
Suddendly, a sentry comes, in great hurry, and enters the tent.
Sentry Sir! Sir! I come with very grave news!
Ryazan Commander Oh you, miseducated dirty bum! How you dare to come in such an unpolite way in the middle of the officer’s tea time?
Sentry Oh, I’m sorry, but the news I bring are of great importance!
Ryazan Colonel NOTHING is more important than officers’ tea-time
Ryazan Commander Well, there’s officers’ scantily clad women-time, sir
Ryazan Colonel Damn, forgot that! Well, anyway, there’s only one thing you could tell us that would be more important than officer’s tea-time
Ryazan Commander Yeah, only in the very unlikely case that the Golden Horde had crossed our borders, sneaked into our camp, ruthlessly massacred all our soldiers without mercy, burned our tents, and where just about to enter this tent and impale us with rusty, yet pointy, spears, THIS and only THIS, would be grave enough to interrupt our tea time!
Sentry Let me check it again... oh yeah, that’s precisely what has happened
Ryazan Colonel Okay, in this case, I’m sorry we’ll be forced to interrupt our tea, my friends.
In this very moment, four mongols enter and impale the officers and the sentry with their rusty, yet pointy, spears.
Me Damn! that was too easy!
Royal Advisor We clearly outnumbered them, it will not be that easy next time, my liege
An officer enters.
Officer Sir! We’ve found a fortress full of them!
Me Wooohoooo!!!! Pillage it!!!!
OOC: Battle at Tambow between 14/05/00 of Golden Horde versus 00/04/00 of Ryazan. All the Ryazanites are crushed, with only a few losses, mostly due to excessive ingestion of goat milk. The following assault on the fortress was a success with minimal losses of our part, mostly due to excessive ingestion of boiling oil.
