Peace, and then a War
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1502, cont'd.
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A Peaceful Interlude
The May Day celebrations are a joyous homecoming for the victorious troops of the Imperial Guard. After the successful war with Venice and the acquisition of its provinces of Illyria and Istria, it was time to take stock of my empire and look to our economy and other domestic pursuits. I gathered my trusted advisors -- Kettle, Goldschlager, and my queen Gerthe -- to me, and we examine the state.
The war was not too hard on our economy, since we didn't raise war taxes or borrow money, and though some of our provinces were looted by bandits in employ of the hated Doge, they will recover. On the other hand, our tax income is low and even our annual taxes do not offer enough to raise us to the class of a true world power, like France or especially Spain, my rival claimant to the title of Holy Roman Emperor, though their claims are false and lying, of course. For these struggles to come, surely we will have to have war again and soon, within a few years, for Austria must expand. As Goldschlager drones on about bailiffs, merchants and interest rates, my eyes stray to the great colored map of Europe in my imperial office. To the north of me lies Bohemia, lands mine by my Hapsburg birthright, but held in defiance of Law by the Pretender, Vladislav. This state of affairs gives me casus belli against the northerners, and all my court yearns to recover their ancestral lands up there, but for now, Bohemia's string of alliances, most notably with Bavaria, have stayed my hand. Still, I begin to scheme...
Later, and in private, after my reputable advisors have gone to bed, I meet with my new "chief of secrets," a shady character named Rudiger who is a spymaster and man of many disguises. He informs me that Venice has 62 military ships in its harbor, making it unlikely we would compete for naval supremacy with them anytime soon. The Royal Austrian Fleet based in Istria and Illyria consists of at best a few fishing corracks...
May 15
My cartographer Grieves is bemoaning the sorry state of our maps, so I send a dispatch to the Hungarian king, offering to trade discoveries. Bafflingly, he refuses. Is this the first sign of a crack in the mighty Austro-Hungarian-Wurtemberger alliance? Or are the Hungarians merely embarassed about how poor their own maps are? It must be the latter, for King Ulaszlo assures me he is ever and always my friend.
June 2
The Russian has declared war on the Kazan, and Denmark joins. This is the only war in Europe at the moment, and as we have a royal marriage with the Danes, I send them a note of congratulations, and urge them victory in their crusade against the heathens. In this perilous time, all Christendom must come together under its Holy Father and lawful Emperor against the perils of schism and paganism. In return they send me a litter of their famous dogs, huge barking pups that my sons and daughter quickly adopt and come to love.
July 2
My dear cousin Irma is now of an age where she too can be married off to a neighbor. There have been so many royal marriages in the last ten years -- Hungary, England, Spain, France, Saxony, Wurtemberg, Helvetia, Hessen, Baden, Hannover, Bavaria, Brandenburg, Parma, Genoa, Lorraine, Tuscany, Navarre and Denmark all have Hapsburg brides to strengthen their royal bloodlines. However The Palatinate rejected our offer of a royal marriage. Irma is quite sad, thinking it some fault of her own, and has taken to eating too much chocolate. Even the antics of the Great Dane puppies does not amuse her as it once did.
July 28
Belatedly, the Hungarians end their war with Venice. Strange that, since Austria is the leader of the Alliance and I have made peace with them, but Hungary gains Mantua in the peacemaking and that is fine by me. I entertain King Ulaszlo, twice, as he pays a state visit to Mantua and then returns, passing through my lands and through Vienna both times. Each time he assures me that the principles of the Holy Alliance -- uniting all of Europe under the Holy Roman Empire, the expulsion of the Turks from Europe, the liberation of Byzantium, and ultimately, of the Holy Land -- are still dear to his heart. He is a good man, a wise king, and a faithful ally.
September 27
Again we try to arrange a marriage for dear Irma, this time with distant Moldavia, whom I feel might be a useful ally some day against the Turk, something Ulaszlo has been urging us towards. Irma seems unhappy with this idea since that country is small and so very far away, and surely without any chocolates at all, she complains, but I will hear none of it. However the Moldavians reject our generous proposal. Must be some strange Orthodox custom of theirs, this willful rudeness.
October 7
Goldschlager has dispatched another man to Venice. The doings of sausage-dealers little interests me, but give me a good boar hunt in the Tyrolean Alps, that's the stuff for me. The fall is spent in hunting and chasing, and my lads' Dane-hounds have grown large enough to harass the livestock and scare the horses.
December 20
In the spirit of the holidays, the queen and I extend an offer of royal marriage to our fellow German-speakers in Thuringia. Irma is quite excited about this, since Thuringia is very near to home and all our cousins and such in all the other German states, and her husband to be is quite handsome. Plus, I had one of my courtiers tell her about the wonderful cakes and cheese the Thuringians make. However all our overtures with Thuringia are rebuffed, and Irma is crushed.
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1503
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January
We have taken in some 80d in taxes, about usual. Goldschlager and I decide to promote a bailiff in Illyria, and soon, one in Istria, now that we can afford to install a proper tax-collecting mechanism there. Unbelievable how poorly developed and backward are these former provinces of the hated Doge. Later, the shadowy Rudiger comes to me with the news that the Bohemians are expanding their fortifications in Moravia, a province that borders both Hungary and myself. I spend long hours contemplating the Bohemian situation, and how I might drive a wedge between her alliance with Bavaria.
February
Cousin Irma's whining in court is becoming insufferable to my wife and myself, and she is eating all of our larder. We must marry her off! This time diplomats are sent to Savoy, but once again we are rejected. Irma is inconsolable, but my advisors and I conclude that we must have made too many royal marriages already, and that the crowned heads of Europe no longer believe a Hapsburg wedding has any significance. Well that is fine. Let them wed their own common cousins, for a Hapsburg shall rule over them all some day regardless, God has so decreed.
March
Another of Goldschlager's sausage-mongers has been packed off to Venice; meanwhile I approve additional expenditures to raise troops locally in Istria, since there is much talk of revolt and loyalty to the filthy Venetians there and in Illyria, still. No doubt these petty village headmen preferred the corrupt and inefficient taxing of Venice to the efficient royal machinery of Austria, but they shall soon learn the benefits of my benevolent reign and the lawful rule of the Hapsburg Empire.
July
A bailiff in Istria has been promoted to tax collector; another merchant to Venice. I spend the summer hunting, and take my young sons riding horses for the first time, and already Master Urdo has begun to teach them the use of the sword.
August
Istria revolts! An army of rabble, estimated to be some 8,000 men, opposes the newly-formed local militia there, the grandiosely named Army of Bohemia, and its 2,000 trained infantrymen. However the superior training and tactics of the Austrian officers carries the day, and the army of rabble melts away, although 675 of our men are slain. I approve the coin to raise 1,000 more replacements, and since the fools struck during the harvest time, I have ordered my soldiers to assist in the labor to win over the people there.
October
Goldschlager himself escorts the next merchant and his pack-train of Styrian goldware to Venice, since the last couple seemed to have failed to establish themselves. Is it pilferage? Treason? Bandits? Goldschlager will get to the bottom of it, I am sure. Meanwhile I take my family -- the Queen, and Princess Marie (now ten), Prince Frederick (nine), and Prince Karl (seven), along with our unmarriageable and overweight cousin Irma, to Wurtermberg, for their famous Oktoberfest. A bigger fest is held in Bavaria of course, but we are not welcome there, since the Bavarians have allied themselves with the Bohemians and Vladislav the Pretender.
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1504
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January-February
Some 80d, in taxes are taken in this year. I decide to start socking the coin away. Gerthe decides to again try to get us into another royal marriage, writing polite and wonderful letters to both Cologne and the lords of the Teutonic Order, but again both states politely decline the hand of the lovely Irma. We decide not to tell Irma of this, and she keeps herself busy watching over my sons and their horrendously large dogs, and over my little daughter Marie.
May
Another sausage-monger is dispatched to Venice, and at this point I decide not to have Goldschlager seek my approval for every single economic transaction. I trust my minister, and he may send his expeditions where he likes. Meanwhile we have socked away enough Styrian gold to begin expanding the fortifications in the royal province of Vienna. I was embarrassed on a recent visit to the Hungarian capital to see that King Ulazslo II has a finer fortress than I.
August
My scientific advisor, that grey-bearded old alchemist Kettle, comes to me all a-twitter. He and his men have discovered a new form of ship they call the caravel, and recommend we build some immediately. Nonsense. We have no need for a navy, and can hardly afford one. I send him back to his grimoires and his powders, urging him to develop stronger cannon that shoot farther and batter the walls of the unbelievers in a manner more pleasing to God.
September
I confer with Rudiger, my spymaster. He reports that Bohemia's alliance with Bavaria, Thuringia, and Baden will expire next June, while our own Holy Alliance with Hungary and Wurtemberg is far more solid, legally binding through 1512. If we can pry Bavaria and her large army out of Bohemia's influence and into ours, removing the usurper Vladislov from my Bohemian territory will become a feasible task.
Immediately I compose a Letter of Introduction to my dear friend, Duke Albrecht IV of Bavaria, though we hardly need to be introduced. Still, the sudden flurry of Austrian favor has its desired effect, and our relations with our northern neighbors become far warmer and more cordial than ever before. Meanwhile, Rudiger reports that the Bohemians and Bavarians have grown somewhat apart, while Bohemia, foolishly not recognizing the danger, doesn't have any armies in its southern provinces, and continues to let its relations with Bavaria slide.
October
Venice is extremely active, moving navies and armies in and out of its foul-smelling harbor with great activity. She is not at war, so we assume she is fortifying her Mediterranean holdings at Corfu, Cyprus, and Crete against the Turk, but our knowledge of affairs in that sea is pretty negligible. Meanwhile the French have put 32,000 men in its province of Leinster, more than enough to take that ungarrisoned island from the foolish English. Kazan and Russia have signed a white peace, thus ending the only war current in Europe. I send a sour note to that dubious Christian, the tsar, admonishing him for making peace with pagan steppe peoples.
November
Calamity! Members of my court, wealthy merchants, and other patrons have stepped forward with a 'gift' -- 250d donated to the cause of naval research! What has come over my Court? Why are they obsessed with caravels, navies, and other foolishness? Yet that 250d could've been so much more wisely spent on fortifications, armies, or research into guns and cannons. I suspect tax evasion and other corruption, and set Rudiger onto the case!
Ah-hah! Agents of the horrible Doge were behind the plot, and alas, all that fine coin has been siphoned off into his coffers, enriching the master pirate! Goldschlager too has been implicated! No wonder so many of our merchants sent to Venice have 'failed' -- they were enriching the coffers of the enemy! Goldschlager and all involved are tossed into the dungeons, while his innocent, younger, and more able assistant, Silberberger, has been made my new Minister of the Exchequer.
December
I am still burning over the foolish waste of good Austrian gold on naval expenditures. Nonetheless I try to pursue royal marriages with the Teutons, and am again rebuffed. No surprise. I also offer to exchange discoveries with both England and Sweden but they both demur, no doubt not too impressed with the discoveries of a landlocked, navy-less power. No matter, no matter. I shan't let these setbacks ruin Christmas. For my cousin Irma, a gift of golden chocolates, which she may not eat, and for my daughter Marie, a fine carriage with a team of six white horses to take her wherever she might go. My two sons each receive a fine set of plate armor, which they will almost certainly grow out of, but they had better start getting used to wearing the metal around. And for my lovely wife, a wonderful castle overlooking a lake near Tyrol, where she may take her leisure while I hunt.
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1505
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January-May
Tax income has risen slightly, and 130d now fill our treasury. There is still a chance of revolt in the Illyrian and Istrian marches, but I must move some of those troops north, to Vienna, to join the Guard, for this summer will be a time of action!
Other forces are recruited, though we are careful not to move large armies along the Bohemian border, not yet. Another Letter of Introduction is sent to my friend, the Duke of Bavaria, and that court becomes even more pleased with us. We also note that the Hungarians have put 7,000 men along the Bohemian border, wisely done my friend Ulaszlo. All through winter and into spring, our forces gather in the capital, and the fields ring with the tramp of marching feet and thunder with the practice fire of our musketeers.
June 1st
It seems the Bohemian Alliance still stands, though it is set to expire this month. July 1st, the shadowy Rudiger whispers. That will be the day for signing papers. I agree.
June 12
Other alliances must be expiring, for Spain has formed a new one with Hessen, Cologne, and Kleves. That vile Spaniard! I know his game, he seeks influence over the Electors of the Holy Roman Empire!
July 1st
Today was perhaps the most exciting and hair-raising day in my thirteen year reign. At midnight, the Bohemian Alliance expired. At the very stroke of midnight, as soon as the church bells rang, I witnessed the Bavarian ambassador sign my invitation to join the Holy Alliance! That morning, when all the Ambassadors had gathered at Court, I also extended an invitation to the German states of Thuringia and the Palatinate. Thuringia agreed but the Palatinate refused. No matter. That afternoon, I gather the Court again, and all the Ambassadors, and handed the surprised and frightened Bohemian ambassador my Declaration of War! Immediately, the ambassadors of Hungary and Wurtemberg handed the Ambassador their Declarations as well.
The Ambassador was terrified, and turned to the Bavarian delegate for support. But with a wily smile on his face, the Bavarian then handed the Bohemian Pretender his own Declaration of War! The poor man fainted dead away. Later I would learn that the Thuringians dishonored our alliance but I could care less, only Bavaria mattered. Immediately afterwards I was on my horse with my private guard, racing north to catch up with the Imperial Guard, who are due to arrive in Ostmarch, on the Bohemian border on July 1st.
THE AUSTRO-BOHEMIAN WAR
July 2nd-14th
The Imperial Guard arrives in Ostmarch and immediately marches northwards towards Prague. The KuKee Armee is already in Pressburg and a day earlier had started marching towards Moravia. I ride hard and catch up with my Guard just as we seize the border posts. Messengers bring me updates from Rudiger: The Bavarian and Wurtermberger armies are on the march towards Sudeten, but so far the Hungarian forces have yet to move. The Bohemians are belatedly calling up troops in the Sudeten.
July 20
The KuKee Armee (14/1/0) under Jogesdorf arrives in Moravia and are surprised to find the main body of the Bohemian Army, some 10,000 men, in the field to oppose them. Combat begins immediately, but Jogesdorf's troops, somewhat undisciplined because of the influx of new, green regiments, starts to give ground.
July 29
I and my Imperial Guard arrive in Bohemia and commence the siege. Austria's thirty precious cannons (too few! Damn you Goldschlager and your naval scams!) are all with me, and walls begin to boom.
August 2
Illyria revolts! A messenger has ridden hard to bring me this alarming news, and I am irate that rabble loyal to the Doge would use the cover of a righteous war to expand the Holy Roman Empire to rebel against their lawful Emperor. The campaign in Moravia still rages, with Jogesdorf's men still holding the field, but barely.
August 8
A second messenger arrives in my camp outside Prague, it seems the 2,000 men in Illyria managed to put to flight the 12,000 badly-trained peasants bribed into the field by agents of the Doge. Rudiger is dispatched to the coastal provinces with orders to root out rebels and secret agents who work for the Doge. Jogesdorf's men seem increasingly desparate, but I do not want to break off the siege to aid them. Prague is the key to this kingdom.
August 13
A breathless messenger approaches me nervously, he wears the green epaulettes of the KuKee Armee and his face is grim, so I know the news cannot be good. Quickly I scan my Marshall's letter. Jogesdorf's men in Moravia have been defeated, and he makes a disorderly retreat into Pressburg. Meanwhile 7,000 Magyars sit right over the border, doing nothing, despite my frequent and desparate entreaties to the Hungarian king! Still, the Bohemian Army has been badly mauled, with little more than 6,000 left.
August 30
The Bohemian Army marches on Ostmarch! But finally, the Hungarians offer some aid, sending its 7,000 men out of Mantua north through our lands and into Ostmarch. Jogedorf's demoralized men in Pressburg are ordered south, out of harm's way, to regroup and reinforce with some additonal troops pulled out of Istria. The Illyrian garrison is split, half sent north into Istria.
September 2
Ostmarch is besieged by the Bohemians! But I also get some better news -- a huge army of 46,000 allies, Wurtermbergers but mostly Bavarians, has arrived in Sudeten and besiege the place.
Steptember 23
The Hungarians from Mantua take the field in Ostmarch and drive the Bohemians away with great loss. Still, much of the Ostmarch countryside burns, and the fleeing Bohemians stream into Pressburg, looting and burning as they go.
October 24
The Bavarian army assaulted Sudeten and captured the place. Meanwhile my siege in Prague goes hopelessly slow. The Magyar army marches out of north Austria and into Bohemia, intent on gains of their own. My allies seem to be faring better than I! I contemplate a grim situation -- if either Hungary or Bavaria annex Bohemia this war would be for naught. I would have peace with Bohemia before I let that happen.
November 9
Jogesdorf's suspect KuKee Armee finally catches what's left of the Bohemian army, less than a thousand, in Odeburg and drives them north. Finally, he redeems himself. I send the KuKee Armee back towards Moravia, to initiate another siege. Reinforcements are being raised in the capital, of course. The Pretender Vladislov has the nerve to demand peace and 16 ducats compensation! I laugh in his emissary's face.
November 14
The Hungarians besiege Silesia, their Mantuan forces finally being joined by the 7,000 sitting on the Carpathian border.
December 26
The last of the Bohemian army flees to Erz, where a few new recruits are raised. As little is happening in the siege, I leave the camp in secret and return to Vienna for Christmas. I must meet with my advisors and ensure the realm is secure, the provinces are loyal, and the coin is counted. And it is good to see my family, but it is a grim Christmas. This war has gone on longer than I thought it would.
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1506
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January 3
A newly-raised army is sent from Vienna, to Bohemia, and thence to Erz, to besiege the place. Again Bohemia asks for peace, demanding indemnities. The Bavarians and Wurtembergers march north to aid Hungary in its Silesian siege, while some move towards Vienna and Moravia, helping us there.
March 25
Silesia falls to the Hungarians, yet Austria still hasn't captured a province!
April
Again Bohemia sues for peace and again is ignored. The allied army arrives in Moravia, swelling our ranks there. I order an assault on the citadel but after a week of hard and bitter fighting, it doesn't fall. Meanwhile, the Bohemians have raised another 6,000 men and move them into Sudeten, besieging the Bavarian garrison left there. I do not oppose their move. Prague still won't fall, it still might not fall for another twelve months.
Summer
It is a long hot summer, with armies encamped before the starving cities, besieging the places. I have armies in Erz, Moravia, and Prague, while the Bohemians are camped in Sudeten and the Hungarians seem content to sit in Silesia, defending their gains.
August
Again we order an assault on Moravia, but again the stout defenders hold out.
November
Moravia falls and the Austrian Eagle flies over the citadel! Once again the Roman Empire rules in Bohemia! The KuKee Armee is ordered immediately to Prague and the allied armies immediately follow.
December 8
The siege of Erz goes well, but winter is coming and it is hard on the men there. The Bohemians know they are beaten, they keep suing for peace, but we won't even hear of it now.
December 22
Erz has fallen to my men, and those troops are ordered immediately to Prague. Another Christmas, but this time events are happening too fast to permit me to leave the field. Father Pfiz says a gloomy mass in a captured country church for my officers, my nobles, and myself. My family visits the encampment, young Princes Frederick and Karl are enthralled, they are too young to recognize the horror, the suffering, and the death all around us.
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1507
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January 1
I hear mixed reports about our tax take this year, because the provinces of Pressburg and Ostmarch were damaged in the fighting perhaps, but Kettle reports a great advancement in field combat, adding artillery support to our repertoire.
January 28
All allied armies and ours have gathered in Bohemia, and with 33,000 infantry and 98 cannons, the siege finally begins in earnest, and the first cracks appear in the Bohemian walls. However Sudeten has fallen to the Bohemians and the general there marches his men towards his capital, a desparate hope against all odds...
February 2
Thinking better of his plan, the Bohemian general turns his men northwards, towards undefended Erz, though without cannon he will again have to settle down for a long siege. Meanwhile I order the assault on Prague...
February 25
After several weeks of desparate fighting, there is success, and Prague is mine! The Bohemian envoys offer Moravia in exchange for peace but that is too little, too late, for even the Pretender Vladislov is my prisoner now. All armies are combined with the Imperial Guard, giving me 17,000 infantry, a couple hundred cavalry, and 29 cannons (one burst in the furious firing of the assault). We march north immediately, towards Erz.
February 26
War-weary perhaps, Duke Albrecht IV of Bavaria signs a separate peace with Bohemia in exchange for 122d. It seems a poor sum, but at least he has profited from this war in some wise, and I am not too sorry to see him leave the war without any territorial gains. He, who was so recently an ally of Bohemia, turned on her in a day's time, and I do not believe that in his heart he understands what his commitment to the Holy Alliance means. It must be a sacred pact of friends, not a marriage of convenience. I will watch him like a hawk.
March 7
France and numerous allies have declared war on the small state of Baden, one of Bohemia's former allies. Belatedly I realize I neglected to invite them to the Holy Alliance lo these two years ago, though that busy day in July now feels like a decade ago now. The stink of death is too much around me.
April 3
My allies tire of the fighting. Hungary signs a separate peace with some Bohemian pretender or another in exchange for 23d and Silesia. I do not begrudge King Ulazslo his gains, rather I am glad he has prospered yet again from our alliance, and hope he is wise enough to hold his far-flung holdings. Silesia of course is coveted by the Pole.
April 18
I rout the Bohemian army in Erz with the Guard. Its 6,000 horsemen flee towards Prague, but my garrison there has the city and its mighty citadel locked fast. The once-proud but now thoroughly demoralized Czech horsemen have no hope of sustaining another siege.
April 24
Bohemia offers me Erz and Moravia for peace. No sir, I tell the messenger. I already wear the Bohemian crown, captured in Prague, and I will see an end to this war and an end to all illegitimate claims of a Bohemian dynasty. These are my lands, these are Hapsburg lands. The Duke of Wurtermberg seems intent on capturing Sudeten, and moves all his forces there. Meanwhile I pursue the Bohemian remnants towards Prague.
May
The enemy is routed in Prague once more, and this time their army surrenders to me, its brave cavlary officer honorably handing over his saber. I turn the guard towards Sudeten. We are marching hard now, hard and fast, over land that has seen too much of war, but my army is disciplined and well-behaved, and I order there is no looting or harming of innocents. The Bohemians are peaceful people, and only a few proud but doomed noblemen are still holding out in the hinterlands, in the Sudeten.
June
Duke Ulrich leads his Wurtembergers into an assault on the Sudeten garrison but are repulsed with heavy losses. The castle at Sudeten is the last bastion of Bohemian rebellion, yet it is well-supplied and seems able to last out the weak and cannon-less Wurtemberger forces. A few days later the loyal Duke accepts peace with Bohemia in exchange for 11d, and leaves. It is a poor reward for his loyal service, but all the rebel Bohemes have left in their emptied coffers, to be sure. I assure the Duke, as he mounts his horse and leads his war-worry troops on the long ride home, that I shall not forget him and his loyal service to the Hapsburg Crown.
August
The bulk of the Imperial Guard arrives in Sudeten and I order the assault. The demoralized and heavily outnumbered enemy is crushed, the town falls, and the last resistance to my supremacy in Bohemia has been removed. I formally annex Bohemia and all Europe acknowledges the rightful rule of the Hapsburgs in Prague. Then, finally, I turn the Guard southwards, towards home. Exhausted but satisfied, our realm has been greatly expanded and the Bohemian subjects and nobles willingly accept our legitimate rule, with no threat of revolt in all these conquered realms. Truly, the people there have accepted Hapsburg rule, but their gruding acceptance is as of nothing compared to the warm hero's welcome the Guard receives on its return to Vienna.
Truly, a joyous day, and a fitting end to what was a long and arduous campaign.
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1502, cont'd.
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A Peaceful Interlude
The May Day celebrations are a joyous homecoming for the victorious troops of the Imperial Guard. After the successful war with Venice and the acquisition of its provinces of Illyria and Istria, it was time to take stock of my empire and look to our economy and other domestic pursuits. I gathered my trusted advisors -- Kettle, Goldschlager, and my queen Gerthe -- to me, and we examine the state.
The war was not too hard on our economy, since we didn't raise war taxes or borrow money, and though some of our provinces were looted by bandits in employ of the hated Doge, they will recover. On the other hand, our tax income is low and even our annual taxes do not offer enough to raise us to the class of a true world power, like France or especially Spain, my rival claimant to the title of Holy Roman Emperor, though their claims are false and lying, of course. For these struggles to come, surely we will have to have war again and soon, within a few years, for Austria must expand. As Goldschlager drones on about bailiffs, merchants and interest rates, my eyes stray to the great colored map of Europe in my imperial office. To the north of me lies Bohemia, lands mine by my Hapsburg birthright, but held in defiance of Law by the Pretender, Vladislav. This state of affairs gives me casus belli against the northerners, and all my court yearns to recover their ancestral lands up there, but for now, Bohemia's string of alliances, most notably with Bavaria, have stayed my hand. Still, I begin to scheme...
Later, and in private, after my reputable advisors have gone to bed, I meet with my new "chief of secrets," a shady character named Rudiger who is a spymaster and man of many disguises. He informs me that Venice has 62 military ships in its harbor, making it unlikely we would compete for naval supremacy with them anytime soon. The Royal Austrian Fleet based in Istria and Illyria consists of at best a few fishing corracks...
May 15
My cartographer Grieves is bemoaning the sorry state of our maps, so I send a dispatch to the Hungarian king, offering to trade discoveries. Bafflingly, he refuses. Is this the first sign of a crack in the mighty Austro-Hungarian-Wurtemberger alliance? Or are the Hungarians merely embarassed about how poor their own maps are? It must be the latter, for King Ulaszlo assures me he is ever and always my friend.
June 2
The Russian has declared war on the Kazan, and Denmark joins. This is the only war in Europe at the moment, and as we have a royal marriage with the Danes, I send them a note of congratulations, and urge them victory in their crusade against the heathens. In this perilous time, all Christendom must come together under its Holy Father and lawful Emperor against the perils of schism and paganism. In return they send me a litter of their famous dogs, huge barking pups that my sons and daughter quickly adopt and come to love.
July 2
My dear cousin Irma is now of an age where she too can be married off to a neighbor. There have been so many royal marriages in the last ten years -- Hungary, England, Spain, France, Saxony, Wurtemberg, Helvetia, Hessen, Baden, Hannover, Bavaria, Brandenburg, Parma, Genoa, Lorraine, Tuscany, Navarre and Denmark all have Hapsburg brides to strengthen their royal bloodlines. However The Palatinate rejected our offer of a royal marriage. Irma is quite sad, thinking it some fault of her own, and has taken to eating too much chocolate. Even the antics of the Great Dane puppies does not amuse her as it once did.
July 28
Belatedly, the Hungarians end their war with Venice. Strange that, since Austria is the leader of the Alliance and I have made peace with them, but Hungary gains Mantua in the peacemaking and that is fine by me. I entertain King Ulaszlo, twice, as he pays a state visit to Mantua and then returns, passing through my lands and through Vienna both times. Each time he assures me that the principles of the Holy Alliance -- uniting all of Europe under the Holy Roman Empire, the expulsion of the Turks from Europe, the liberation of Byzantium, and ultimately, of the Holy Land -- are still dear to his heart. He is a good man, a wise king, and a faithful ally.
September 27
Again we try to arrange a marriage for dear Irma, this time with distant Moldavia, whom I feel might be a useful ally some day against the Turk, something Ulaszlo has been urging us towards. Irma seems unhappy with this idea since that country is small and so very far away, and surely without any chocolates at all, she complains, but I will hear none of it. However the Moldavians reject our generous proposal. Must be some strange Orthodox custom of theirs, this willful rudeness.
October 7
Goldschlager has dispatched another man to Venice. The doings of sausage-dealers little interests me, but give me a good boar hunt in the Tyrolean Alps, that's the stuff for me. The fall is spent in hunting and chasing, and my lads' Dane-hounds have grown large enough to harass the livestock and scare the horses.
December 20
In the spirit of the holidays, the queen and I extend an offer of royal marriage to our fellow German-speakers in Thuringia. Irma is quite excited about this, since Thuringia is very near to home and all our cousins and such in all the other German states, and her husband to be is quite handsome. Plus, I had one of my courtiers tell her about the wonderful cakes and cheese the Thuringians make. However all our overtures with Thuringia are rebuffed, and Irma is crushed.
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1503
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January
We have taken in some 80d in taxes, about usual. Goldschlager and I decide to promote a bailiff in Illyria, and soon, one in Istria, now that we can afford to install a proper tax-collecting mechanism there. Unbelievable how poorly developed and backward are these former provinces of the hated Doge. Later, the shadowy Rudiger comes to me with the news that the Bohemians are expanding their fortifications in Moravia, a province that borders both Hungary and myself. I spend long hours contemplating the Bohemian situation, and how I might drive a wedge between her alliance with Bavaria.
February
Cousin Irma's whining in court is becoming insufferable to my wife and myself, and she is eating all of our larder. We must marry her off! This time diplomats are sent to Savoy, but once again we are rejected. Irma is inconsolable, but my advisors and I conclude that we must have made too many royal marriages already, and that the crowned heads of Europe no longer believe a Hapsburg wedding has any significance. Well that is fine. Let them wed their own common cousins, for a Hapsburg shall rule over them all some day regardless, God has so decreed.
March
Another of Goldschlager's sausage-mongers has been packed off to Venice; meanwhile I approve additional expenditures to raise troops locally in Istria, since there is much talk of revolt and loyalty to the filthy Venetians there and in Illyria, still. No doubt these petty village headmen preferred the corrupt and inefficient taxing of Venice to the efficient royal machinery of Austria, but they shall soon learn the benefits of my benevolent reign and the lawful rule of the Hapsburg Empire.
July
A bailiff in Istria has been promoted to tax collector; another merchant to Venice. I spend the summer hunting, and take my young sons riding horses for the first time, and already Master Urdo has begun to teach them the use of the sword.
August
Istria revolts! An army of rabble, estimated to be some 8,000 men, opposes the newly-formed local militia there, the grandiosely named Army of Bohemia, and its 2,000 trained infantrymen. However the superior training and tactics of the Austrian officers carries the day, and the army of rabble melts away, although 675 of our men are slain. I approve the coin to raise 1,000 more replacements, and since the fools struck during the harvest time, I have ordered my soldiers to assist in the labor to win over the people there.
October
Goldschlager himself escorts the next merchant and his pack-train of Styrian goldware to Venice, since the last couple seemed to have failed to establish themselves. Is it pilferage? Treason? Bandits? Goldschlager will get to the bottom of it, I am sure. Meanwhile I take my family -- the Queen, and Princess Marie (now ten), Prince Frederick (nine), and Prince Karl (seven), along with our unmarriageable and overweight cousin Irma, to Wurtermberg, for their famous Oktoberfest. A bigger fest is held in Bavaria of course, but we are not welcome there, since the Bavarians have allied themselves with the Bohemians and Vladislav the Pretender.
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1504
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January-February
Some 80d, in taxes are taken in this year. I decide to start socking the coin away. Gerthe decides to again try to get us into another royal marriage, writing polite and wonderful letters to both Cologne and the lords of the Teutonic Order, but again both states politely decline the hand of the lovely Irma. We decide not to tell Irma of this, and she keeps herself busy watching over my sons and their horrendously large dogs, and over my little daughter Marie.
May
Another sausage-monger is dispatched to Venice, and at this point I decide not to have Goldschlager seek my approval for every single economic transaction. I trust my minister, and he may send his expeditions where he likes. Meanwhile we have socked away enough Styrian gold to begin expanding the fortifications in the royal province of Vienna. I was embarrassed on a recent visit to the Hungarian capital to see that King Ulazslo II has a finer fortress than I.
August
My scientific advisor, that grey-bearded old alchemist Kettle, comes to me all a-twitter. He and his men have discovered a new form of ship they call the caravel, and recommend we build some immediately. Nonsense. We have no need for a navy, and can hardly afford one. I send him back to his grimoires and his powders, urging him to develop stronger cannon that shoot farther and batter the walls of the unbelievers in a manner more pleasing to God.
September
I confer with Rudiger, my spymaster. He reports that Bohemia's alliance with Bavaria, Thuringia, and Baden will expire next June, while our own Holy Alliance with Hungary and Wurtemberg is far more solid, legally binding through 1512. If we can pry Bavaria and her large army out of Bohemia's influence and into ours, removing the usurper Vladislov from my Bohemian territory will become a feasible task.
Immediately I compose a Letter of Introduction to my dear friend, Duke Albrecht IV of Bavaria, though we hardly need to be introduced. Still, the sudden flurry of Austrian favor has its desired effect, and our relations with our northern neighbors become far warmer and more cordial than ever before. Meanwhile, Rudiger reports that the Bohemians and Bavarians have grown somewhat apart, while Bohemia, foolishly not recognizing the danger, doesn't have any armies in its southern provinces, and continues to let its relations with Bavaria slide.
October
Venice is extremely active, moving navies and armies in and out of its foul-smelling harbor with great activity. She is not at war, so we assume she is fortifying her Mediterranean holdings at Corfu, Cyprus, and Crete against the Turk, but our knowledge of affairs in that sea is pretty negligible. Meanwhile the French have put 32,000 men in its province of Leinster, more than enough to take that ungarrisoned island from the foolish English. Kazan and Russia have signed a white peace, thus ending the only war current in Europe. I send a sour note to that dubious Christian, the tsar, admonishing him for making peace with pagan steppe peoples.
November
Calamity! Members of my court, wealthy merchants, and other patrons have stepped forward with a 'gift' -- 250d donated to the cause of naval research! What has come over my Court? Why are they obsessed with caravels, navies, and other foolishness? Yet that 250d could've been so much more wisely spent on fortifications, armies, or research into guns and cannons. I suspect tax evasion and other corruption, and set Rudiger onto the case!
Ah-hah! Agents of the horrible Doge were behind the plot, and alas, all that fine coin has been siphoned off into his coffers, enriching the master pirate! Goldschlager too has been implicated! No wonder so many of our merchants sent to Venice have 'failed' -- they were enriching the coffers of the enemy! Goldschlager and all involved are tossed into the dungeons, while his innocent, younger, and more able assistant, Silberberger, has been made my new Minister of the Exchequer.
December
I am still burning over the foolish waste of good Austrian gold on naval expenditures. Nonetheless I try to pursue royal marriages with the Teutons, and am again rebuffed. No surprise. I also offer to exchange discoveries with both England and Sweden but they both demur, no doubt not too impressed with the discoveries of a landlocked, navy-less power. No matter, no matter. I shan't let these setbacks ruin Christmas. For my cousin Irma, a gift of golden chocolates, which she may not eat, and for my daughter Marie, a fine carriage with a team of six white horses to take her wherever she might go. My two sons each receive a fine set of plate armor, which they will almost certainly grow out of, but they had better start getting used to wearing the metal around. And for my lovely wife, a wonderful castle overlooking a lake near Tyrol, where she may take her leisure while I hunt.
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1505
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January-May
Tax income has risen slightly, and 130d now fill our treasury. There is still a chance of revolt in the Illyrian and Istrian marches, but I must move some of those troops north, to Vienna, to join the Guard, for this summer will be a time of action!
Other forces are recruited, though we are careful not to move large armies along the Bohemian border, not yet. Another Letter of Introduction is sent to my friend, the Duke of Bavaria, and that court becomes even more pleased with us. We also note that the Hungarians have put 7,000 men along the Bohemian border, wisely done my friend Ulaszlo. All through winter and into spring, our forces gather in the capital, and the fields ring with the tramp of marching feet and thunder with the practice fire of our musketeers.
June 1st
It seems the Bohemian Alliance still stands, though it is set to expire this month. July 1st, the shadowy Rudiger whispers. That will be the day for signing papers. I agree.
June 12
Other alliances must be expiring, for Spain has formed a new one with Hessen, Cologne, and Kleves. That vile Spaniard! I know his game, he seeks influence over the Electors of the Holy Roman Empire!
July 1st
Today was perhaps the most exciting and hair-raising day in my thirteen year reign. At midnight, the Bohemian Alliance expired. At the very stroke of midnight, as soon as the church bells rang, I witnessed the Bavarian ambassador sign my invitation to join the Holy Alliance! That morning, when all the Ambassadors had gathered at Court, I also extended an invitation to the German states of Thuringia and the Palatinate. Thuringia agreed but the Palatinate refused. No matter. That afternoon, I gather the Court again, and all the Ambassadors, and handed the surprised and frightened Bohemian ambassador my Declaration of War! Immediately, the ambassadors of Hungary and Wurtemberg handed the Ambassador their Declarations as well.
The Ambassador was terrified, and turned to the Bavarian delegate for support. But with a wily smile on his face, the Bavarian then handed the Bohemian Pretender his own Declaration of War! The poor man fainted dead away. Later I would learn that the Thuringians dishonored our alliance but I could care less, only Bavaria mattered. Immediately afterwards I was on my horse with my private guard, racing north to catch up with the Imperial Guard, who are due to arrive in Ostmarch, on the Bohemian border on July 1st.
THE AUSTRO-BOHEMIAN WAR
July 2nd-14th
The Imperial Guard arrives in Ostmarch and immediately marches northwards towards Prague. The KuKee Armee is already in Pressburg and a day earlier had started marching towards Moravia. I ride hard and catch up with my Guard just as we seize the border posts. Messengers bring me updates from Rudiger: The Bavarian and Wurtermberger armies are on the march towards Sudeten, but so far the Hungarian forces have yet to move. The Bohemians are belatedly calling up troops in the Sudeten.
July 20
The KuKee Armee (14/1/0) under Jogesdorf arrives in Moravia and are surprised to find the main body of the Bohemian Army, some 10,000 men, in the field to oppose them. Combat begins immediately, but Jogesdorf's troops, somewhat undisciplined because of the influx of new, green regiments, starts to give ground.
July 29
I and my Imperial Guard arrive in Bohemia and commence the siege. Austria's thirty precious cannons (too few! Damn you Goldschlager and your naval scams!) are all with me, and walls begin to boom.
August 2
Illyria revolts! A messenger has ridden hard to bring me this alarming news, and I am irate that rabble loyal to the Doge would use the cover of a righteous war to expand the Holy Roman Empire to rebel against their lawful Emperor. The campaign in Moravia still rages, with Jogesdorf's men still holding the field, but barely.
August 8
A second messenger arrives in my camp outside Prague, it seems the 2,000 men in Illyria managed to put to flight the 12,000 badly-trained peasants bribed into the field by agents of the Doge. Rudiger is dispatched to the coastal provinces with orders to root out rebels and secret agents who work for the Doge. Jogesdorf's men seem increasingly desparate, but I do not want to break off the siege to aid them. Prague is the key to this kingdom.
August 13
A breathless messenger approaches me nervously, he wears the green epaulettes of the KuKee Armee and his face is grim, so I know the news cannot be good. Quickly I scan my Marshall's letter. Jogesdorf's men in Moravia have been defeated, and he makes a disorderly retreat into Pressburg. Meanwhile 7,000 Magyars sit right over the border, doing nothing, despite my frequent and desparate entreaties to the Hungarian king! Still, the Bohemian Army has been badly mauled, with little more than 6,000 left.
August 30
The Bohemian Army marches on Ostmarch! But finally, the Hungarians offer some aid, sending its 7,000 men out of Mantua north through our lands and into Ostmarch. Jogedorf's demoralized men in Pressburg are ordered south, out of harm's way, to regroup and reinforce with some additonal troops pulled out of Istria. The Illyrian garrison is split, half sent north into Istria.
September 2
Ostmarch is besieged by the Bohemians! But I also get some better news -- a huge army of 46,000 allies, Wurtermbergers but mostly Bavarians, has arrived in Sudeten and besiege the place.
Steptember 23
The Hungarians from Mantua take the field in Ostmarch and drive the Bohemians away with great loss. Still, much of the Ostmarch countryside burns, and the fleeing Bohemians stream into Pressburg, looting and burning as they go.
October 24
The Bavarian army assaulted Sudeten and captured the place. Meanwhile my siege in Prague goes hopelessly slow. The Magyar army marches out of north Austria and into Bohemia, intent on gains of their own. My allies seem to be faring better than I! I contemplate a grim situation -- if either Hungary or Bavaria annex Bohemia this war would be for naught. I would have peace with Bohemia before I let that happen.
November 9
Jogesdorf's suspect KuKee Armee finally catches what's left of the Bohemian army, less than a thousand, in Odeburg and drives them north. Finally, he redeems himself. I send the KuKee Armee back towards Moravia, to initiate another siege. Reinforcements are being raised in the capital, of course. The Pretender Vladislov has the nerve to demand peace and 16 ducats compensation! I laugh in his emissary's face.
November 14
The Hungarians besiege Silesia, their Mantuan forces finally being joined by the 7,000 sitting on the Carpathian border.
December 26
The last of the Bohemian army flees to Erz, where a few new recruits are raised. As little is happening in the siege, I leave the camp in secret and return to Vienna for Christmas. I must meet with my advisors and ensure the realm is secure, the provinces are loyal, and the coin is counted. And it is good to see my family, but it is a grim Christmas. This war has gone on longer than I thought it would.
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1506
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January 3
A newly-raised army is sent from Vienna, to Bohemia, and thence to Erz, to besiege the place. Again Bohemia asks for peace, demanding indemnities. The Bavarians and Wurtembergers march north to aid Hungary in its Silesian siege, while some move towards Vienna and Moravia, helping us there.
March 25
Silesia falls to the Hungarians, yet Austria still hasn't captured a province!
April
Again Bohemia sues for peace and again is ignored. The allied army arrives in Moravia, swelling our ranks there. I order an assault on the citadel but after a week of hard and bitter fighting, it doesn't fall. Meanwhile, the Bohemians have raised another 6,000 men and move them into Sudeten, besieging the Bavarian garrison left there. I do not oppose their move. Prague still won't fall, it still might not fall for another twelve months.
Summer
It is a long hot summer, with armies encamped before the starving cities, besieging the places. I have armies in Erz, Moravia, and Prague, while the Bohemians are camped in Sudeten and the Hungarians seem content to sit in Silesia, defending their gains.
August
Again we order an assault on Moravia, but again the stout defenders hold out.
November
Moravia falls and the Austrian Eagle flies over the citadel! Once again the Roman Empire rules in Bohemia! The KuKee Armee is ordered immediately to Prague and the allied armies immediately follow.
December 8
The siege of Erz goes well, but winter is coming and it is hard on the men there. The Bohemians know they are beaten, they keep suing for peace, but we won't even hear of it now.
December 22
Erz has fallen to my men, and those troops are ordered immediately to Prague. Another Christmas, but this time events are happening too fast to permit me to leave the field. Father Pfiz says a gloomy mass in a captured country church for my officers, my nobles, and myself. My family visits the encampment, young Princes Frederick and Karl are enthralled, they are too young to recognize the horror, the suffering, and the death all around us.
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1507
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January 1
I hear mixed reports about our tax take this year, because the provinces of Pressburg and Ostmarch were damaged in the fighting perhaps, but Kettle reports a great advancement in field combat, adding artillery support to our repertoire.
January 28
All allied armies and ours have gathered in Bohemia, and with 33,000 infantry and 98 cannons, the siege finally begins in earnest, and the first cracks appear in the Bohemian walls. However Sudeten has fallen to the Bohemians and the general there marches his men towards his capital, a desparate hope against all odds...
February 2
Thinking better of his plan, the Bohemian general turns his men northwards, towards undefended Erz, though without cannon he will again have to settle down for a long siege. Meanwhile I order the assault on Prague...
February 25
After several weeks of desparate fighting, there is success, and Prague is mine! The Bohemian envoys offer Moravia in exchange for peace but that is too little, too late, for even the Pretender Vladislov is my prisoner now. All armies are combined with the Imperial Guard, giving me 17,000 infantry, a couple hundred cavalry, and 29 cannons (one burst in the furious firing of the assault). We march north immediately, towards Erz.
February 26
War-weary perhaps, Duke Albrecht IV of Bavaria signs a separate peace with Bohemia in exchange for 122d. It seems a poor sum, but at least he has profited from this war in some wise, and I am not too sorry to see him leave the war without any territorial gains. He, who was so recently an ally of Bohemia, turned on her in a day's time, and I do not believe that in his heart he understands what his commitment to the Holy Alliance means. It must be a sacred pact of friends, not a marriage of convenience. I will watch him like a hawk.
March 7
France and numerous allies have declared war on the small state of Baden, one of Bohemia's former allies. Belatedly I realize I neglected to invite them to the Holy Alliance lo these two years ago, though that busy day in July now feels like a decade ago now. The stink of death is too much around me.
April 3
My allies tire of the fighting. Hungary signs a separate peace with some Bohemian pretender or another in exchange for 23d and Silesia. I do not begrudge King Ulazslo his gains, rather I am glad he has prospered yet again from our alliance, and hope he is wise enough to hold his far-flung holdings. Silesia of course is coveted by the Pole.
April 18
I rout the Bohemian army in Erz with the Guard. Its 6,000 horsemen flee towards Prague, but my garrison there has the city and its mighty citadel locked fast. The once-proud but now thoroughly demoralized Czech horsemen have no hope of sustaining another siege.
April 24
Bohemia offers me Erz and Moravia for peace. No sir, I tell the messenger. I already wear the Bohemian crown, captured in Prague, and I will see an end to this war and an end to all illegitimate claims of a Bohemian dynasty. These are my lands, these are Hapsburg lands. The Duke of Wurtermberg seems intent on capturing Sudeten, and moves all his forces there. Meanwhile I pursue the Bohemian remnants towards Prague.
May
The enemy is routed in Prague once more, and this time their army surrenders to me, its brave cavlary officer honorably handing over his saber. I turn the guard towards Sudeten. We are marching hard now, hard and fast, over land that has seen too much of war, but my army is disciplined and well-behaved, and I order there is no looting or harming of innocents. The Bohemians are peaceful people, and only a few proud but doomed noblemen are still holding out in the hinterlands, in the Sudeten.
June
Duke Ulrich leads his Wurtembergers into an assault on the Sudeten garrison but are repulsed with heavy losses. The castle at Sudeten is the last bastion of Bohemian rebellion, yet it is well-supplied and seems able to last out the weak and cannon-less Wurtemberger forces. A few days later the loyal Duke accepts peace with Bohemia in exchange for 11d, and leaves. It is a poor reward for his loyal service, but all the rebel Bohemes have left in their emptied coffers, to be sure. I assure the Duke, as he mounts his horse and leads his war-worry troops on the long ride home, that I shall not forget him and his loyal service to the Hapsburg Crown.
August
The bulk of the Imperial Guard arrives in Sudeten and I order the assault. The demoralized and heavily outnumbered enemy is crushed, the town falls, and the last resistance to my supremacy in Bohemia has been removed. I formally annex Bohemia and all Europe acknowledges the rightful rule of the Hapsburgs in Prague. Then, finally, I turn the Guard southwards, towards home. Exhausted but satisfied, our realm has been greatly expanded and the Bohemian subjects and nobles willingly accept our legitimate rule, with no threat of revolt in all these conquered realms. Truly, the people there have accepted Hapsburg rule, but their gruding acceptance is as of nothing compared to the warm hero's welcome the Guard receives on its return to Vienna.
Truly, a joyous day, and a fitting end to what was a long and arduous campaign.
