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Deaghaidh

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<-- A rumpled professor of indeterminate age, who resembles the child of Walter Matthau and Columbo. Walks up to the chalk board in a lecture hall in the National University in Dublin. He pulls a seemingly disordered pile of notes from his briefcase, and shuffles them on the table in front of him.-->

"Hello, I am Proffessor Deaghaidh, and welcome to Ireland 1492-1792. We have an awful lot to cover this semester, but I think you will find it fascinating- and if you don't, you'd better fake it, because I do (nervous laughter from the students)."

"I'd like to start today with some background to help you understand the situation in Ireland right before the time period we'll be covering, which starts in 1492. And before anyone asks, yes, this will be on the test."

"Ireland was not at all well in the year 1492. As she had been for centuries, she was divided into the territories of squabbling clans, who's constant skirmishes prevented any real organization or government. And, as had happened many times before, she had been battered down by a foreign invader. This time it was the English."

"Dublin and Meath -"the Pale" as they were known- were directly under the rule of English nobles, though truly, I think you may forgive me for saying that that is a contradiction in terms (some laughter at the good-natured ribbing, and groans from English students). The rest of Ireland paid heavy tribute to the English crown, keeping her people in poverty."

"The leaders of the various clans were in no position to bargain for better terms, either. There was only one proper fort in the whole of the island, that of Dublin, firmly held in the grip of the English. The English also had an army stationed in Dublin-10000 men, with the most modern equipment and heavy cannons- just in case the Irish should give them trouble."

"But 1492 was also a year of hope, as the New Year saw the dawn of new leadership in Ireland. Years of secret negotiations, fortuitous marriages, and unspoken agreements had forged a block of Clan Chieftains who were committed to working together to free their homeland- No matter how long it takes."

"These Clan Chieftans met in Leinster to form the first Council of Clan Chiefs. There was little organization, no rules of procedure, and constant squabbling over petty details. In other words, it was a microcosm of Ireland as a whole, where clan blood fueds and vendettas helped create an athmosphere of near-total anarchy."

"The Council started a plan on using the Brehons, and their centuries-old traditonal role as arbitors and judges, to settle some of these fueds. It was an uphill battle that would last for years before stability was truely gained. But their efforts attracted the attention of the King of England, Henry VII. Either not knowing, or not caring about their rebellious tendencies, Henry recognized the authority of the Council over Irish internal affairs. Make sure you write that down, it'll be important later."

"Well, that takes us about up to where we need to be for next time. Now, if you'd please pick up a copy of the sylabus on your way out, I'll see you then."
 

unmerged(3021)

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It's back!

HIP HIP HURRAH! HIP HIP HURRAH! HIP HIP HURRAH! :cool: :D :p
 

Aardvark Bellay

Lord Wuffington of Grumpytown by the barks
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Torture!

Have ya found your disc? Is it goin to be the olde story?
Are you playing a new one? What is it? Am i hallucinating?
*crack*.......aargh.....its back!.......my addiction.........
+The wild Geese come back to take on the english,hehehe+

-----------------lying unconscious on th floor.............
 

Deaghaidh

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Thank you all, my ego greatly agreciates it

Deaghaidh's Ego: WORSHIP ME YOU WORTHLESS SLUGS! BWAHAHAHA!!!

In answer to your questions, this is a NEW history of Ireland, seperate from the old Bumbling Neophytes AAR. I have edited the following:

Added 'historical' Monarchs from the Bumbling AAR, such as King Micheal I, Poor King Patrick, as well as a few that I had planned to introduce later on. I have tried to keep their stats in the moderate range. Eventually the Monarchs end, and I added a "Republic of Ireland" to take me through the 1700s.

Real-life Wild Geese commanders have been added, about 5-6. Most are new to the game, but the Austrian General Von Browne has been moved to Ireland as plain old Brown, as his ancestors were Irish expatriates. Also, a few familiar faces from the military leaders of the Bumbling AAR, such as Simms (now an explorer, not conquistador) and O'Donnel (who led the doomed O'Donnel's charge in the Stupid, Stupid War) have been added because I wanted to use them again.

Otherwise, everything is unchanged. I decided NOT to add a colonial dynamism after all, to reflect Irish poverty and realatively small population, so I will be relying on Random Events and the Council of Trent to establish a colonial presence. And, of course, snatching away English colonies :D

Hopefully, this will be even better than the Neophytes, in terms of game success and storytelling prowress (you may have required reading from period sources)

One thing more- does anyone know how to edit colony names for a country? The default New x, New Y won't last long with so few starting provinces.
 

Deaghaidh

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<The professor walks into the lecture hall, aparently in the same rumpled Columbo suit, with the same briefcase full of the same disorderly notes. He shuffles them into random piles before turning to write on the board.>

1492-1498- The Vassal Council

"Good morning, I'm glad to see so many are still with me. Usually, once people see the book, they run away screaming. <- Students chuckle in agreement over the enormous and unreasonably expensive textbook -> For those of you just joining the class, last time we discussed in brief the situation in Ireland before King Henry VII granted the Council of Chieftans athority over Irish internal affairs. Why he did so is still a subject of much controversy. Despite what many say, he was neither mad nor stupid. He was well aware of the councils Anglophobia and rebellious tendencies. He decided, however, that it was worth placing them in charge for a while so they would do the thankless and expensive work of establishing order and collecting taxes for him- which the Council did with gusto."

"Indeed, for the first year of its existance, the Council poured all of its resources into ending blood fueds and negotiating truces between the Clans. By 1493, it was said that the heads of the clans had taken these fueds away from the battlefield and into the Council hall in Wexford. That 'hall' was actually a fortress built with the pooled fortunes of the clans to protect them in the event that they irked the King into sending the Army of Ireland out from Dublin to Leinster for a little fresh air."

"Not that Henry had anything to complain about, the Council was actually MORE meticulous about paying their taxes than the individual chieftans ever were. They hired full-time tax collectors in Ulster in 1493, and in Leinster in 1495 in Leinster itself- important dates because these were the first bureaucrats in Irish history. The idea had come from England, and was instituited as part of the Councils general infrastructure improvement plan. Ireland was a late comer to the Renaisance, but she took to it with gusto. In 1493 Irish merchants first started going abroud, as trade contact with Europe was re-established- though in the important hub of Flanders Irish merchants were quickly trampled under the massive English and Spanish presences there."

"This new contact with Europe extended into the diplomatic sphere as well. In this time period we see nobles in such various locations as France, Spain, Hannover, The Hansa, Pommerania, Poland, as well as the Italian merchant states of Savoy and Parma taking the daughters of prominent Irish chieftans for brides. It was not that these ladies were so comely and charming- I'm sure some were sent abroud because they couldn't find themselves a husband back home. The Council was re-introducing their rocky little island at the edge of the world into the minds of the courts of Europe. The choices of countries these women went to are interesting, in that they all could potentially help Ireland against England. The Big Powers- thats capitol b capitol p- of France and Spain would like to smack England around for a while, and whats more the specter of their intervention would make England think twice before shoving Ireland around. I call it my-big-brother-can-beat-you-up diplomacy, and it was the mutual assured destruction of the day. The others were mercantile and politically influential nations whose support could make-or-brake a revolution."

"We can that behind the collaborationist facade of the Vassal Council there were plans being made for an eventual war with England. However, the councils subjects did not see it that way. A strike of protesting merchants nearly crippled the economy in 1494 in response to the increase in taxation, though the council prevailed. They deftly used this as an excuse to tell their English masters that they must improve their military to guard against possible revolts. Incredibly, Henry VII acquiesed, despite the fact that his own armies in Ireland were more than capable of handling the situation. He even WITHDREW his own forces, to England, to prepare for a war with France which never quite happened. In their absense, the Irish army made much progress towards closing the technology gap, though they still suffered the critical disadvantage of lacking the know-how to build cannons until late 1497, and then not having the money to actually build or buy any. But more on that next time"

"For now I want to cover the birth of the Irish Transit Company, one of the most improbable success stories in commercial history. As I said before, the fledgeling Irish presence in Flanders could never make headway agianst the massive English and Spanish mercantile presence in Antwerp. So the Irish, with the sort of insane audacity that made us famous, decide to skip Flanders, send their merchants all the way around the Iberian Peninsula, around Italy to Venice, on the far side of Europe. Venice in those days was the most hotly contested and profitable trade center in the world. the Irish would offer cut-rate transport on Venitan goods from the Orient to northern europe, with a stopover in Cork to pick up supplies along the way. Incredibly, this was a massively popular service, and by 1497, the only people making more money off the Venitan trade than the Irish were the Venetians themselves."

"Not only did this bring badly-needed money into the councils coffers, which was in turn invested in hiring more tax collectors to further increase cash flow, but it was a definitive gesture of Irish distinctiveness for England. The English had never even tried such an audacious move in the trading world, let alone met with such quick and total sucess. In Italy, the Irish sailor became the poetic embodiement of peasent hardiness and competence. And those who got rich off this trade started to send their students to Italian universities, where they would pick up some ideas that they brought back home with them, and became important latter on."

"Well that about covers it for today, be sure to read the section on the Vassal Council in your text before next time."
 

Chengar Qordath

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Cool AAR format. Do we get tested at the end, and if so, then are there any rewards to whoever gets the best grade?

What are your plans for expanding territory? I'd wait until the English are busy fighting France, then try to liberate the rest of Ireland, and maybe Wales too.
 

unmerged(4493)

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Nice AAR. I see that the classroom idea is becoming a rush around here. As a matter of curiosity, is this class mandatory in the curriculum? I really have enjoyed it until now.

Hope Ireland independence is declared soon and that they'll be prepared for it, mostly in the men of arms and the navy, cannons can wait.
 

Storey

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It's about time you came back with an Irish aar.:D I have a feeling your going to do better than the last time. As always I like the writing style. keep it up.

joe
 

Deaghaidh

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Brad: Don't make me use the WakeyWakey Ball* on you.

Storey: My heart was never really in my French one, though I'm not sure why. Maybe it's just roots, or the French may require a more agressive style than I like.

Argeal: I came up with the class idea before reading other threads with it, then I said !@#$-donkeys! They'll think I stole the idea!

As far as cannons, I was forced to fight the English without them in my last Ireland game, and while I could beat them in the open field I just couldn't brake Dublin quickly enough without them. But as for the Navy, well wait for the class on the Irish Navy's performance in the Vassalhood War.

Chengar the unspellable: Basically, priority one teritory-wise is Dublin. After that, a modest colonial posession- Canada seems a likely spot. Far down on the list is expansion into England. Most likely any invasion would aim at sacking London to force England to give up precious maps and colonies. And yes, that WILL be on the test. :D

* The WakeyWakey Ball is a sophisticated piece of training equipment developed by the United States Navy for use in their technical training. It consists of several tightly wound layers of toilet paper wrapped around a raquetball to a thinckness of exactly one inch. To operate, hurl ball at the sleeping student, preferably the head or, if possible, crotch. For maximum effect, the user should say "Wakey-Wakey!" in his most ridiclulous sounding voice.
 
Last edited:

Deaghaidh

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No update this weekend, family visiting in Real World. Read ahead in your texts on Simms' Expeditions, up to the Vassalhood war.
 

Aardvark Bellay

Lord Wuffington of Grumpytown by the barks
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Scientific or irish

I'm really enthusiastic about your new irish AAR,
but somehow the irish humour from the old irish AAR is missing.
I want your humour back! NOW!PLEAAAAASSSSSSEEEEE!
Be ironic,sarcastic, show your wit again.
I dont want to be in Uni even online.
Jeez,i do study as its interesting but i'm glad too when its over.
Bring back the irish inside!

PS: BTW, why's there no button yet that says 'irish inside' ? ;)
 

Deaghaidh

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<Professor Deaghaidh shuffles into class again. Impossibly, he is wearing the same suit, which still looks as if he slept in it the night before. Rumor has it he often falls asleep in his office reading obscure texts, before waking up in time to shuffle into class again.>

"Good Morning everybody. There is an oxymoron for you, 'Good Morning'. If it was good they wouldn't call it the same thing as what you do when people die. Well, that's something to take up with your English professors."

<He opens up his suitcase and once again shuffles random piles of notes onto his desk, despite the fact that noone has ever seen him refer to them.>

"Okay, so yesterday we ended off with 1498, which takes us to the first real crisis of the Vassal Council period. Henry VII, who had long given the council a pretty long leash, started to worry about their loyalty- though by all appearences their loyalty to the crown was not so much suspect as non-existent. Oh sure, they paid their taxes, but he was pretty sure they were skimming off the top- which they were- and were only biding their time. And besides, he just didn't think the Irish had enough fear and awe for their powerful neighbor."

<chuckling from some students- fear of England! How absurd!>

"So in December of 1497, with War with France not apparently imminent, he sent 15,000 men to Dublin to put the fear of God and the King into the Irish. To show he was serious, the "Army of Ireland" was commanded by none other than the Lord Norfolk, Englands most skilled commander."

"Well, this carefull constructed plan to make the Council wet their collective breeches worked wonders. No one had any illusions about actually driving out Lord Norfolks army, as they were outnumbered, outgunned and out-generalled. The more stubborn western clans prefered a glorious uprising, imagining that the entire population of Ireland would take up arms. The rest were resigned to making some concessions to England, and quickly, lest Norfolks pikeman simply arrest them, and Norfolk himself be put in charge of a direct military occupation."

"The leading Clans from Connaught were not content to be voted down, however, and their leaders simply left for home to prepare their own private war against the English. The Council quickly recognized the necessity of seperating themselves from these radicals, and so the Army of Erin- not to be confused with the English Army of Ireland- marched on Connaguht under the command of Micheal Northumberland, an Irish Norman appointed by the council to serve as "Presiding Officer of the Council and Chief Commander of the Army of Erin"- a title deliberately desgined to seem unimportant to the English. After all, ladies bridge clubs had Presiding Officers, or Presidents in modern terms, and every backwater milita had to have a Commanding Officer."

"In reality, Northumberland was more like a cross between Speaker of the House and Secretary of State. He was charged with dispersing the rebellion in Connaught, and in serving as a spokseman to Lord Norfolk."

"The Connaught revolt was dispersed with a minimum of bloodshed in February of 1498 by the Irish army. The Council was forced to take this action- had they sat around with their 8,000 men to wait for Norfolk to do the dirty work for them, he would write the King that they were being uncoperative and were unable to fullfill their mandate to keep the peace, and recomending the council be disbanded and Ireland placed under military rule. In fact, the General, always planning ahead, already had a letter written to that effect which only needed to be dated, sealed and sent ot London."

"Instead, Norfolk found no use for his rather impressive army, and enjoyed Dublins social life, which was downright dull compared to London, he complained in letters home, and eventually petitioned the king to move his force to someplace where their duty was up to their talents. As no such post was forthcoming, they were simply withdrawn to England in the Spring of 1498. Lord Norfolk declined an invitation to the Presiding Officer and Chief Commander's wedding to Lady Deidre of Inverness, a Scottish noblewomen well above his social station, just before setting sail out of Dublin in April. They were married without his presence in June."

<The professor looks at the clock> This course is supposed to cover 300 years worth of history, and I've spent this entire class on six months. At the current rate, it will take 600 classes to complete this course. Ah well, I'll see you next time, we'll be covering the pre-Vassalhood War years.


<Game terms- Norfolk landed as I got hit with an Unexpected REvolt random event, so the two played off each other. Micheal Northumberland, a.k.a King Micheal I is now my leader (see "A Bumbling Neophytes AAR), RM w/ Scotland, -127
 
Last edited:

Deaghaidh

High King
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May 1, 2001
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Aardvark: Better? :D I'm trying to capture the style of my mediveal history professor form last semester, he was able to make that class a load of laughs. I mean, c'mon, he made the CRUSADES seem funny. He also really looked like the product of an unholy Columbo/ Walter Matthau mating.

Pred: Shh, don't say that too loud! Too late, you woke it up!

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

<Deaghaidhs Ego lumbers into the room>

Ego: BWAHAHA! Bow lowly maggots!

Frightened Villagers: AHHHH! Help us, Help us!

Ego: BWAHAHA! Yes, flee before my awesome presence!