The Early Days of Glory
I hate possessing Kings. But, alas, it was the only way I could get a raise. It was either move to the king department, or stay where I was. There weren’t any other openings.
However, if I do not get on with writing this report for the Boss, he’s going to put me in the unemployed office, and I won’t be able to give him my really great present for his birthday. (Hint, hint, Boss)
My assignment is to Austria, 1492, Earth, 5th dimension. I immediately possess their king, Maximilian, who’s a decent ruler, but no Arkleberry bean. He puts up a very, very big fight, which is why I dislike kings, but I get him. Luckily, this happened late at night, so nobody was around.
I spent the 1st day looking at what I could do at the moment with Austria. The Royal treasury was small, but enough to spend on nine thousand infantry. That’s a type of army they have there on Earth. I also got into an alliance with Hungary, because they are right next to me, and therefore anyone I might declare war on. Also, in STANDARD TIMELINE, Austria inherits Hungary, and I want to be in a good position to do so when the time comes. I'm’ not sure it’ll work, but prepare.
I have forty thousand men already, in the capital, so I move them next to the Austrian-Bavarian border. I built more armies earlier, so I put them on another section of border. Bavaria only has two provinces, and Austria borders on both of them. By coincidence, my smaller army will invade the province with the smallest Bavarian army, and my larger army will invade the province with the larger army. My armies are bigger than theirs, though.
Before I can declare war, I have to grant audience to two foreign diplomats, one from the distant island-nation of England, and one from the nation of Saxony. They both say that their princes wish to marry two of my nieces. I said, “I thought polygamy wasn’t practiced here.” “No, no. My prince will marry that lovely little Wilhelmina, and my English counterpart will bring home Johanna.” “ Well,” I said, “if the girls wish to. No wait, they have to. I hate that idiotic servant of theirs, Adolph Hienkel, and this will get rid of him. Goodbye. If Adolph causes any trouble whatsoever, feel free to torture and kill him.”
On January 1st, 1493, I declared war on Bavaria, and a day later, Hungary joined the fun. For some reason, the peasants disliked this. Come on, why wouldn’t you want more land. I can see the Bavarian peasants disliking it because they want to conquer, not be conquered, but really. I immediately beat up the bigger army, and destroy the smaller one, and siege both provinces. The army that gets away goes to my rather large province of Tyrol. They always try to send an army there, but I kick the out several times. Probably some religious thing. I capture Ansbach, the northern province, first, and send the armies to help in Bavaria. A lot of these countries have provinces with the same names as the countries they’re in. But Bavaria offers peace giving me Ansbach, and, due to my religion, I must accept. The armistice occurs on August 5th, 1494.
Morlac: I just haven't downloaded anything. My little brother will have a fit if I put any new large files on here. That's why I don't have IGC. P.S. thanks for the link in sig help