Selzro

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(Whereupon I decided to make good use of the Ruler Designer DLC)


The year is 867 and I, Seleukos of House Seleucid, have become Count of Hellas. The circumstances of my ascension to that post were rather unusual since, much like my idol, Emperor Julian, I was destined to become a theologian; indeed, I am considered by many to be a master of theology.



Chief? I'm not a chief, I'm a count! At the very least I should be an archon or something!

But it was this intense study, along with my cynicism and innate genius, that led me to see the fundamental errors of Christianity and the superiority of our ancestral religion. Living as I did close to the ancient Oracle of Delphi, I was able to research the ancient rites and have developed a healthy interest in theurgy, which the unlearned dismiss as mysticism. Such is their ignorance.

But then again, such is the ignorance of our age. I grew up shy and weak, avoiding crowds and confrontations with the illiterati whenever possible. In such solitude I learned patience and chastity, but I was also visited upon by depression, a malady I have not yet been able to shake off.




The Hellenic faith is going through some rough times. Although it has found in me a staunch believer, everyone else seems to have fallen under the sway of the Galilaean Cult or the beliefs of the Mohammedans. No Hellenic holy site is serviced by its true priests. This may one day change, and I’d like to believe that the process will begin here, in tiny Hellas.



Choices!

But to have any lasting impact on this world, I will need a legacy. Since I am unmarried, I send out people to search for suitable brides. To my consternation, my fellow Byzantine counts seem unable or unwilling to accept me as part of their families. Maybe it's because they call me a "chief" instead of a count. I'll have to have words with my chancellor about that. The only potential bride in Greece is Apollonia, a courtier in Hellas. Although she is looking to get married with someone, she makes it very clear that she hopes that someone will not have to be me. The feelings are mutual – she’s a mean-spirited girl, with her zeal in Orthodox Christianity being but one of her vices.

The other choice is young Gydja Rognhildr, from distant Norway. My people must have traveled all across Europe in search for any woman who would accept to marry me! She is 15 years old, so we agree on a betrothal while she sets sail for Hellas.

The year passes without much to do in my county. Our emperor is fighting the Saracens in Sicily, but joining that war is neither within my means nor within my interests. The Doux of Athens (who hates me; everyone does) gave me the title of Master of the Hunt. Seeing as I’m too physically weak and uninterested in sports to be hunting, I can’t help but wonder if this is some kind of stealth insult. But I accept the title nonetheless, and continue reading my books while I wait for my bride to arrive.




Sweet Aphrodite! Gydja has arrived for the wedding, and I cannot believe my luck. When I selected her as a bride I knew she was still being tutored but I had no idea of the extent of her studies. It turns out she’s a master theologian just like me, on top of being a lustful 16-year old! We’ll have so much hot geeky sex!

The wedding went great. I considered asking my vassals to contribute to the expenses, but decided against it. My people should know I spare no expenses when it comes to prestige. Now, it’s time to complete the ceremony... in bed!

Huh, what’s that sound?





Snakes! I hate snakes! Who would do something like... oh right, everyone but my wife hates me.





:’(
 

Battle bunny

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Aww, I was hoping this AAR would be for real. Then again, I'm not sure if it's wise to marry a Gydja. I mean, they stay at home to reign in their little temple, don't they? And I'm not sure if you two would ever have had any kids that way.
 

Selzro

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Well, I was hoping that I could eventually find a way to finance a conquest of Crete and turn it into a Pagan stronghold, but I had underestimated just how unpopular I was. And I don't have much experience with Norse characters, so I didn't know how marrying her would turn out - nor did I get a chance to find out. But it was such an anticlimatic fail, that I couldn't resist posting it. :p
 

LordTempest

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Awww... and here I was hoping for an AAR which might last at least for more than three updates, let alone one. Might we expect a more... lengthy piece from you in the not too distant future? Please? I rather like the concept of this one. :)
 

Selzro

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I'd like to write a more lengthy AAR in the near future, but I'm still new to CK2 and there are various things I'd like to test before starting something that will get me killed within a year again. Maybe I'll try out a merchant republic, or revisit this concept in the future.
 

mike the knight

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Selzro ,it is honour to have you on board! Your comic AAR was my inspiration to start writing and an immense source of amusement ! Feel free to ask for suggestions or ideas we would be all glad to help you get into the atmosphere.As for this brave effort ,it was a bit suicidal to have a petty count in the middle of ERE :laugh: but many times fate surpasses logical calculations and maybe the next will be one of them ;)
 

Selzro

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Kind of reminded me of Stuyvesant's Hollow Little Reign - Leo Palaiologos, Emperor of the Romans over in CK1.

Thanks for sharing this though, gave me a good chuckle :)

Hah, that was brilliant! :D Thank you for sharing!

Selzro ,it is honour to have you on board! Your comic AAR was my inspiration to start writing and an immense source of amusement ! Feel free to ask for suggestions or ideas we would be all glad to help you get into the atmosphere.As for this brave effort ,it was a bit suicidal to have a petty count in the middle of ERE :laugh: but many times fate surpasses logical calculations and maybe the next will be one of them ;)

That's great to hear, mike the knight! So far, I've only played a Breton game for any long period of time (2.5 centuries). I was quite surprised when the Aztecs showed up, since I had bought a bundle of DLCs at 75% off and hadn't noticed Sunset Invasion was among them, but I had a merry time reconquering France from them. Now I'm trying out the game as a Pisan patrician, which is quite interesting - far different from playing as a noble. If and when I start a serious AAR I expect it will be as either a patrician, a muslim noble or a Byzantine after the 4th Crusade; a Palaiologos maybe. But I'm still learning the ropes and slowly reading up on AARs here (I've been reading In the Shadow of Certain, Painful Doom: Abyssinia for a couple of weeks now, and I'm still on page 57), so I'm open to suggestions, particularly within those three categories.

As for suicidal, I fully expected my Tunis Delenda Est AAR for Vic2 to end the same way when I started writing it, but the country miraculously survived and prospered. You never know how those things will turn out. ;)
 

mike the knight

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Selzro

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Ah, I will read it when I get home! :)
 

Ab Ovo

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As someone who has owned CKII for a long time but only recently (ie. tonight) was able to start playing it because of technical difficulties, I loved this AAR! Albania, the Ionian Islands, Hyderabad, Belgium, Sikh, and now Hellas. You take ever more daunting challenges.
 
Last edited:

Selzro

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Indeed I do! But the trouble with daunting challenges is that they tend to not work out as intended... ;)
 

Hyena Dandy

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aldriq

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But it was such an anticlimactic fail...

I think you should take the ruler editor even further and make that the name of you next Hellenic dynasty... Aleksandros Antiklimatikos? :)
 

Selzro

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I think you should take the ruler editor even further and make that the name of you next Hellenic dynasty... Aleksandros Antiklimatikos? :)

Heh, I might just do that!

I didn't notice if the short reign penalty applies when using the ruler designer. I'll try to remember to check the next time I try it.