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I just want to congratulate you Trekaddict, as you have the 1,000th post.trekaddict said:I am from the extreme south of Germany, i.e. the area around Benz-town and for us down here the north is indeed boring. We have hills, mountains, fast cars and the cradle of German Engineering.
EDIT: And I can discount the breeding theory. My brother married a woman from Münster and they have three kids.
Onwards for Dualsim!
trekaddict said:I am from the extreme south of Germany, i.e. the area around Benz-town and for us down here the north is indeed boring. We have hills, mountains, fast cars and the cradle of German Engineering.
EDIT: And I can discount the breeding theory. My brother married a woman from Münster and they have three kids.
I am from the extreme north of germany and i can say that you´re some crazy folks...
Inner Circle said:I am from the extreme north of germany and i can say that you´re some crazy folks...
Oy, we invented the car! Witout us you'd all have to walk you lazy bums!
Inner Circle said:yeah, ideas stolen from the master of dualism...
Actually the first selfpropelled vehicle was invented by the French in the 1700's, it was designed to tow Artillery Cannons.
Nah, it was done by the Germans, they basically attached a combustion engine to a horse carriage.Maj. von Mauser said:
Chapter LXXII: The Harrowing (of the) North
June 21 - July 5, 1917
Misty northern mists
The field diary of Major A.P. Pauling:*
June 21, 1917. - Münster. Gosh dang it to heck. We've been ordered to advance to Wilhelmshaven. Turns out this is treacherous country, full of bogs and moors and such. It's important to watch exactly where one is going so one does not fall into a -
The Captain's Log, Captain Erwin Rommel:
June 21, 1917. - Having cleaned and dried, as well as possible, Maj. Pauling's diary, it is now my task, as commander by the grace of the major's accidental drowning, to use it and to chronicle the journey we are on. We have been given the task of charting this unknown northern land, discovering its hidden riches, and pacifying the natives. His Majesty wishes to have all his empire explored, and, as we march towards the far corners of the earth, it is him that we revere. We do not expect to have contact with headquarters again until we reach the coast; great victories may be won in our absence. What could possibly go wrong?
Berlin is lost
June 28, 1917. - It's been a week and I already hate it. We are following the course of the Weser to the mighty river's mouth. It's a ghastly country, flat as a pancake, full of moors, bogs, swamps, marshes, ditches, water-holes, and other such things. No trees (or any other vegetation besides grass), wildlife or, well, people. We have not sighted the natives yet, but hope to make contact soon. I know that Austria, too, was once one of the dark places of the earth; but this demonic landscape seems still untouched by the light of civilisation.
Appropriate warfare is being developed
June 30, 1917. - The company is shrinking. Seven men have died of dysentery; fourteen have fallen into bogs and drowned. Five have just disappeared, presumably losing their way and wandering off into the misty wastes to their deaths. Four have gone mad and fled into the wilderness. I am fairly sure I spotted a native today, far off across the marshes; but he must have run from us. There is strange and frightening howling in the middle of the night, and the men's imaginations are becoming excited.
Battles all over the place
July 1, 1917. - Today we made contact with the native population. At daybreak, a procession of savages made its way to our camp. Grubby people all, of light complexion, yet more than dark and unsophisticated manners. We tried speaking to them in German, Hungarian, and French; but they only replied in a hateful barbarian tongue, and we gave up on it after a while. Communication being impossible, we offered them baubles and even some gunpowder, which they were childishly excited about. In return they gave us a cow. This may very well have saved us from starvation, for our rations have run out.
July 2, 1917. - I am fairly sure we have lost our way. The sun is invisible by day because of the thick fog, and we do not know where we are, or where we are going. The company has by now shrunk to fifty-seven men; yesterday's encounter with the locals cost us no fewer than eight men, who went to live among the savages to marry local females. In the dark there are flickering lights over the bogs pointing the way; we follow them, for lack of other guidance. We have not heard from, or seen, other Austrian troops.
The assault on Bremen
July 3, 1917. - The lights deceived us, for today we encountered a ghostly apparition. As we stumbled through the moors, a phantom rose from the mist, demanding, 'Foolish mortals! How durst ye trespass in my domain?' I, however, unfazed by such things, at once recognised the fiend. 'Aren't you supposed to be in the northland, General von Surén?', I slyly demanded. The beast seemed stunned; whilst he was still gargling something about this place being 'close enough' to Thule, I ran him through with my sabre. Apparitions, I maintain, do not exist, except for those that do; and the latter category is effectively negated by weaponry.
July 4, 1917. - We are tired, so very tired. We have not seen the villagers again. There is harmonica music in the moors at night. We have nothing to eat. I hope we arrive soon.
The conquest of the north
July 5, 1917. - Our tribulations are over; we found the coast. Stumbling through a ditch and up a dyke, all of a sudden we found before us the vast expanse of the northern ocean. The men wept. I sat apart, indistinct and silent, in the pose of a meditating Buddha. Nobody moved for a time. I raised my head. The offing was barred by a black bank of clouds, and the tranquil waterway leading to the utmost ends of the earth flowed sombre under an overcast sky - seemed to lead into the heart of an immense darkness.
*I should stress once more that I am from northern Germany, which arguably gives me licence to take the mickey. Having said that, my portrayal of northern Germany is totally fantastical and inspired by obvious historical and literary references far more than it is by reality.
Austrian dualism-realism gets to a new level!
Oh the dark brilliance of northern germany!
Horrific, scary, yet so beatifully written!
Oh the dark brilliance of northern germany!
Horrific, scary, yet so beatifully written!
Beautifully written and hilarious as always. Nice to see our good friend Rommel is on the righteous side of Dualism! I've been following this for months, it's always a cracking read, and well-played, as well - it's nice to see a comedy AAR that actually has someone who's not just stomping his enemies or deliberately getting pasted, but in fact playing like most of us underlings do - trying our damnedest to win but not losing hope when we don't!
How are you gonna relieve the forces in the Baltic area? Can you evacuate them by boat, or do you think you can reach them by land before it is too late?
What boats. Emperor knows, that God gave us legs and arms to swim, so we need not no cursed contraptions called boats, spiting dangerous fumes, like Satan's A$$Pwn*Star said:
That is one scary countryside.
Remind me never to go to Germany. Especially the north.
Remind me never to go to Germany. Especially the north.
Looks like the Germans have a massive army in Kiel.
Are your troops up in N. Prussia and the Baltics still in supply. Either way it would be nice to see the German Army cut in half, maybe the next offensive has that aim in mind?
Are your troops up in N. Prussia and the Baltics still in supply. Either way it would be nice to see the German Army cut in half, maybe the next offensive has that aim in mind?
trekaddict said:I find this entirely accurate and based on my own experience!
The dutch agree!
Northern Germany is sort of a Dualistic Mordor isnt it?
That means the emperor is sort of an aragorn only without all that wilderness stuff, even better a dualistic aragorn!
Duagorn!
I find the descriptions of northern Germany fitting. And, I may add, I am one of those unseen "natives"
