4. *important tip*: message settings are crucial for this game of thrones. First and foremost, and this might be the most neglected aspect of eu4. Hidden popup and pause messages that you can enable, that are off by default. In message settings select "all" tab and enable the popup and pause for every herald possible for *every option" in the "to me", "from me", "interesting" and "other" categories.. Then, in the window above the map buttons select your interesting countries. I usually select whole europe, since you can't get PU over a country that isn't in your religion group. The result is that you can perfectly see when a new king comes to power, or when an event takes place that kills an heir of a country.
Example:Enable minor and major event popup and pause for interesting countries, for any event they get. Why? *If* that interesting country has 40+ king with a regency heir for example, and the target county gets the event that might kill their heir, you can see the outcome right after. No more AI unions without you having a clue. It netted me, yet again, a pu over a greater power, england... Their king was 40+, their heir got sick, and it left me opening to RM england and install a noble of my throne. King died year after, and i used the cb gain to start force union war. It took me 14 years of loans, looming bankruptcy and sky high war exhaustion when he died, but i won. All because i started eyeing them month after month, waiting for my chance in the game of thrones.
You can then later disable the popup and pause for message types you don't like (like what country gives military access to another etc) by changing it in the popup window (options at right bottom). Some important popups you should enable for popup and pause: when armies arrive at destination, when country gets new king, major and minor events for you, and for interesting countries (prepare to read ton of stuff, you *can* disable this but you might miss out on easy dynasty spread chances when a country' heir dies due to event), diplomats arriving back home, traders arriving back home, what country gets succesion war with another, when a a country starts integrating a vassal and so on and so forth.