Guide on how to write an 'Imperator is dead' thread

[bass12]

Hello and welcome to my TED Talk! Since every day we see threads on how the game will definitely be cancelled, I thought about writing a guide to help you writing your own 'Imperator dead' thread!

- Start strongly with a statement such as "I love the game", "The game has came a long way since the release", 'X.XX has been an amazing patch"
- Add an opposite conjunction such as "but", "however" etc. You will get that "I am not racist, but.." feeling that will make your following statements really stand out!
- Continue with stressing on how the Devs have disappeared from the forum and that the lack of communication must be a sign of doom
- Thanks to your degrees in Economics, you can describe how non profitable the game is, and why PDX has already pulled the plug
- With the knowledge coming from your Master's in marketing, you will then explain to the illiterate people why Imperator won't be part of PDXcon and why it has been forsaken by PDX
- Do not forget to highlight the low number of Steam players. This is really important.
- Point out how the game resources should be used for your other favourite PDX game, instead of being wasted on Imperator
- Carefully explain why the Devs are incompetent and don't know how to do their job. You can stress how everything would be better if you were in charge
- Blame Johan. Like, literally everything is his fault.
- Conclude with a statement saying that you still have hopes, but the future looks really grim.

Of course, you don't have stick to this order. You can mix and match the various points. What matters is that you can finally write an original and unique thread on this Forum!

Have fun writing your own thread, and let me know if you liked my guide!

 

[Saladin87]

Let's not forget to use comments such as "do the devs even play the game" just to reinforce the point we're trying to make.

 

[Torugu]

Hello and welcome to my TED Talk! Since every day we see threads on how the game will definitely be cancelled, I thought about writing a guide to help you writing your own 'Imperator dead' thread!

- Start strongly with a statement such as "I love the game", "The game has came a long way since the release", 'X.XX has been an amazing patch"
- Add an opposite conjunction such as "but", "however" etc. You will get that "I am not racist, but.." feeling that will make your follow statements really stand out!
- Continue with stressing on how the Devs have disappeared from the forum and that the lack of communication must be a sign of doom
- Thanks to your degrees in Economics, you can describe how non profitable the game is, and why PDX has already pulled the plug
- With the knowledge coming from your Master's in marketing, you will then explain to the illiterate people why Imperator won't be part of PDXcon and why it has been forsaken by PDX
- Do not forget to highlight the low number of Steam players. This is really important.
- Point out how the game resources should be instead used for your other favourite PDX game, instead of being wasted on Imperator
- Carefully explain why the Devs are incompetent and don't know how to do their job. You can stress how everything would be better if you were in charge
- Blame Johan. Like, literally everything is his fault.
- Conclude with a statement saying that you still have hopes, but the future looks really grim.

Of course, you don't have stick to this order. You can mix and match the various points. What matters is that you can finally write an original and unique thread on this Forum!

Have fun writing your own thread, and let me know if you liked my guide!

An excellent guide. I suggest that we use this to establish an index for the assessment of future doom threads. Since your guide is conveniently divided into 10 steps I suggest that each step should count as one point, out of a maximum of ten.

For example, a thread that only follows five steps of your steps would earn a 5/10, etc.

With your permission I would like to christen it the "Bass Scale".

 

[bass12]

An excellent guide. I suggest that we use this to establish an index for the assessment of future doom threads. Since your guide is conveniently divided into 10 steps I suggest that each step should count as one point, out of a maximum of ten.

For example, a thread that only follows five steps of your steps would earn a 5/10, etc.

With your permission I would like to christen it the "Bass Scale".

 

[LiberiusX]

I feel like the Imperator forum has the best comic threads.

The HOI4 forum is downright depressing.

 

[Akbar The Great]

I feel like the Imperator forum has the best comic threads.

The HOI4 forum is downright depressing.

You'd be depressed if you played HOI4 all day.

 

[LiberiusX]

I actually like HOI4, as a alt-history meme generator.

It’s not a war simulator, which I think a large portion of HOI4 community think it is.

 

[olivenkranz]

You'd be depressed if you played HOI4 all day.

you'd be depressed too, had you lived the real hoi 4

 

[BarbarianHunter]

In the discordant spirit of rhetoric & thesis shifting doom-threading, I've taken your template and applied it to Stellaris.

I love Stellaris, the game has came a long way since the release! Dick has been an amazing patch but from what I understand, and I am not exo-xenophobic, that lag still confounds the builder in me. Thanks to my masters degrees in business administration I know the game could, in fact, make so much more money without the lag. I, for one would love to pay the funding, buy the patch & become the crisis (other than the crisis taking several months to play due to the lag). With the knowledge coming from my Master's concentration in marketing, I can't really explain why Stellaris is a part of PDXcon and Imperator is not. I'm thinking it could be Romanophobia or perhaps a religious thing due to the HELL part of Hellenism. The high number of STEAM players relative to the low Imperator count also confounds me (mostly due to the objectively superior Imperator Rome design). I'd also like to point out that precious game resources could be used for Imperator but are instead devoted to Lag Inc. (perhaps the nefarious work of an intergalactic syndicate). Clearly the devs should have anticipated the flaw in the diamond created @ the genesis of the game and steered a different course! If I were running the show @ Stellaris I'd scrap it, and begin work immediately on a game that would not lag. Furthermore, I'd base it on the Imperator model. It must be Johan's fault. Note to self: I think my second MBA concentration (executive management) may be shining through here as I have no idea if Johan even work on the project. I still have hopes, but the future looks really grim.

The last thing I'd like to know is why I'm writing about Stellaris on an Imperator doom thread.

Coming back from the absurd, I actually can't play Stellaris due to the lag and like Imperator's wide/tallish build game.

 

[Daft]

I feel like the Imperator forum has the best comic threads.

The HOI4 forum is downright depressing.

I was about to write the same thing. I think this forum is fun in and of itself. I love the game. The forum makes it better because I enjoy the humour on here.

 

[La_Moustache]

Imperator, a eulogy:

Friends, forumites, gamers, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Imperator, not to praise it.
The evils games did lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Imperator. The low Steam player count
Hath told you Imperator was cancelled:
If it were so, it was a slow cancellation,
And slowly hath Imperator answer’d it.
Here, under leave of Steam player count and the rest–
For Steam player count is a valid metic;
So is exclusion from PDXcon, a valid metric–
Come I to speak at Imperator’s funeral.
It was my friend, strategic and fun to me:
But Steam player count was low;
And Steam player count is a valid metric.
It hath brought pops back home to Paradox
Whose games did the diverse pops fill:
Did this in Imperator seem low?
When that the players have cried, Imperator devs hath patched:
Cancellation should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Steam player count says it was cancelled;
And Steam player count is a valid metric.
You all did see that on the game files
Devs thrice presented it as well patched,
Which they did thrice patch further: was this cancelled?
Yet Steam player count says it was cancelled;
And, sure, it is a valid metric.
I speak not to disprove what Steam player count proves,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love it, 2.0, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for Imperator?
O Devs! they art fled to Swedish holidays,
And exclusion from the Grand Campaign is more reason.
My heart is in the coffin there with Imperator,
And I must pause till Imperator is in here with me.

 

[svalan_i_dalen]

We need a doom bingo board so we can get bingo when reading a doom thread.....

 

[bass12]

We need a doom bingo board so we can get bingo when reading a doom thread.....

 

[Lord Lambert]

View attachment 707649

Random bolded words? Ketchup and Friends is feeling called out

 

[bass12]

Random bolded words? Ketchup and Friends is feeling called out

"The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this thread are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. No person or entity associated with this thread received payment or anything of value, or entered into any agreement, in connection with the depiction of tobacco products. No animals were harmed in the making of this bingo board."

 

[r3xm0rt1s]

Coming back from the absurd, I actually can't play Stellaris due to the lag and like Imperator's wide/tallish build game.

Funny how ~3000 empire pops in Stellaris is apparently the end of the laptop, 30000 is fine in Imperator, with thousands of them moving around and becoming proper <religion> <culture> at the same time.

 

[Egodeus]

You know, as an old paradox fan and only just now coming into Imperator it is funny as hell when people point out to steam user numbers for any of these games. I have a life and other games to also take up my time, but I still love these games and every now and again I will get back to them and buy the DLC I've missed since I last played and then rack another hundred hours on the steam counter. Still I will not show up on theSteam counts while I'm playing something else even though in time I will come back here and I will keep buying the DLC:s to support continued development. Best example is Dwarf Fortress I've been sending money to on Patreon for years now even though I've regularly played it one two month period in the past five years I think. But I still want to see where it goes, and I am exited for the new graphical version to come out sometime in the future.

I actually tested Imperator when it came out and noted a certain lack of features which made me decide to leave it be for a while, I've still skulked through these forums now and again to look at where they've been taking the game, and now that I found myself more interested in classical history for once, I decided to put some time into the game to learn the basics and to be honest, it looks to settle just fine with other Paradox games, EU4 and CK3 in relation to depth and content. IT is for me just a question of which time period I want to immerse myself in at a time.

But Imperator will now come into my regular rotation of PDX games I'll play, since you have to admit, there is something really fun in planting the standards of the Roman legions all over Europa and Asia Minor.

So at least from me they've gained one more person to regularly support them and looking on to where they will take this project.

So honestly, try to understand that Steam player counts aren't the end all and be all of user activity or interest. As long as there is interest, it is going to be possible to keep these kind of projects going.

 

[Nostalgium]

Funny how ~3000 empire pops in Stellaris is apparently the end of the laptop, 30000 is fine in Imperator, with thousands of them moving around and becoming proper <religion> <culture> at the same time.

I mean, sure, but I:R also only has 5 "jobs" to keep track of, where Stellaris has... uh... more than five. And it has to try and optimise which pop is best in which job based on distinct traits and combinations of traits for potentially dozens of types of pops, and that's before you count in gene modding. I:R may have more pops, but each pop is drastically simpler to keep track of in comparison.

 

[blackbirdgriffi]

This is amazing,

I will shelf the game until this is pinged on the forum,

PS: this is all Johan's fault

 

[MachopPower69]

And don't forget to blame the Roman and Seleukid empires aggressive expansion preventing you from surviving and making you rage quit because they have higher levy modifiers and research speed.