Author #1
“A Lapse of Insanity”
And it all started back in the deepest year of 1941. Uncle Joe, also known as Josif Vissarionovich Stalin, initialy refused to believe his german ally, Adolf Hitler - the man who gifted him with the Baltic States and Polish, Finnish and Rumanian land - ordered his troops to cross the frontier to have some fun. He got somewhat mad but, well, it passed away and he was back into reality. Despite horrendous losses of man and materiel, the Red Army stoped the german Heer at the outskirts of Moscow and Leningrad in the last months of that year, and inflicted a decisive blow at Stalingrad (Joe's city) during the winter of '42-'43.
We can give him credit for those achievements. Although Joe didn't fire himself a single bullet (at least close to the frontline!), he kept his soldiers' and officers' morale up and high, with the best method ever: "Not one step back! The Commissars are looking after you and the Gulag is always open!" Perhaps if the french army used this method it could have held the german invasion for long, or even crossed the Rhine!
But now we are in November '43. Last days of it, in fact. Joe is travelling to Teheran with some of his staff, to meet the other two Great Ones: Franklin Roosevelt and Winston Churchil. Of course, Joe is the third one, but in fact is the first. His medical doctors lately have given him more and more medicine, specialy to control his tempers and incresingly mad behaviour. Joe in fact likes it: he says medicine is well tasty. Unfortunately, we face a new problem: the medics took less medicine than needed with them. It will have to be diluted with water and other stuff, so Joe thinks he is taking them and enjoying them still. But the effects, ah the effects...
His doctors started to give him some strong medicine after the soviet disaster at Kursk, during July and August. The Kursk salient was very well defended before the battle, with loads of minefields, pillboxes, strongpoints, machinegun nests, anti-tank guns with camouflage and so on and on, as well as the cream of the Red Army and Air Force. And the STAVKA knew the next german offensive would be there. But some high-ranking officer, a traitor of the motherland, gave the germans detailed maps of the soviet defenses, as well as intelligence regarding the army formations and air force numbers, radar sites and main landing strips.
The offensive came, the salient was closed after heavy battles and, in two months, the soviets took about 900 thousand casualties including prisioneers (Marshal Rokossovsky being among them), more than 3000 tanks and 2000 aircrafts, the german losses estimated on about 200 thousand men, 600 tanks and 300 aircraft. Most of the soviet heavy equipment was lost and, since most of the Red Air Force was destroyed by the Luftwaffe on their bases by the first hours of the battle, the german losses were much smaller. The soviet people could still provide men to substitute those lost, but the manpower poll will start to dry out after another defeat like this!
After this horrendous battle, the german army retreated a bit westwards to better defensive lines. Joe immediately ordered counterattacks, but they were all with no good result (except for the Heer!), and he started to reward selected and otherwise competent high-ranking officers with long vacations on Siberia.
Meanwhile, as the fighting around Kursk developed, US and UK forces landed on Sicily - the so-called Operation Husky - and, after one month of fighting, dominated the entire island. Pietro Badoglio, the famous italian general who wanted Italy out of the war, tried to oust Mussolini with a coup d'état, but was arrested. The italian forces continued fighting for the motherland alongside with his allies!
After Husky and the easy taking of Sardinia, they landed on mainland Italy, down south, but advance northwards was hard and very costly. Eisenhower even considered pull the troops out to use them in France, but then though twice and didn't do so.
Now, back to Teheran. The conference is very important and the danger of german commando raids is obviously increased: some people even report they saw german recon planes over Teheran during last weeks, but it's quite unlikely as the closest german airbase is out of reach. Nonetheless, Joe brought with him some full army divisions in advance, as well as air force squadrons: his usual forces in Iran wouldn't be enough, he thinks. He knows the germans wouldn't dare to advance again during the winter.
Stalin blames the western allies for the Red Army's defeats. Let's see what happens on the first day of conference:
Roosevelt: "We couldn't imagine the german army would do such a damage on the Red Army and we thought the fighting in Italy would be easy!"
Churchill: "They are really far from defeated."
Stalin, enraged: "It is all your fault!"
Roosevelt and Churchill, in chorus: "Our fault?"
Stalin: "Yes, your fault! You didn't send me enough help! You just sit your arses on your comfortable armchairs and do nothing to stop the german menace in the Soviet Union!"
Roosevelt, calmly taking some sheets from his folder: "Look at these statistics, Mr. Stalin. It shows the month-by-month amount of supplies sent to the USSR by the Lend-Lease program. Our help increases each month, and we even send you lots of heavy trucks, airplanes, tank parts, raw materials, as well as guns and bullets. Even food, milk and emergency rations! You could assemble whole armies with our help, and feed the soldiers and starving people!"
Churchill lights his cuban cigars.
Stalin: "But it was not enough! Not plainly enough! Anyway! Our supplies are drawn by horse, not by trucks! Your tank parts make our tanks weak! Your airplanes suck! And the people still starve, the soldiers also don't have enough food! Millions have died!"
Churchill: "For the trucks, please teach your men how to drive. For your tanks, please teach your tank crews and mechanics how to properly repair damaged tanks and, more important, how to use them to fire bullets at the enemy. For the airplanes, please ask your air generals to pay a visit to the Royal Air Force training facilities and see how it's done. For the food, if it's not enough, I recommend you to also issue ration cards to yourself and the members of the Party. And you always said that the death of millions is only a statistic."
Stalin feels a punch on the stomach.
Roosevelt: "I'd recommend you to anticipate the germans and make yourself an offensive next spring or summer. We plan to land on France in May and open a third front. Training has already begun!"
Stalin can't talk. His doctors arrive and recommend him to take his "medicine" and have a resting sleep, so next day he can continue the talks. Joe agrees and goes to his room after taking the medicine. Roosevelt and Churchill go to their rooms as well.
In his room, Joe of course doesn't waste the oportunity and, with his headphones, starts listening what's going on Churchill's and Roosevelt's rooms, the sound being captured by secret microphones. He hears them talking to each other on Churchill's room before Roosevelt leaving, and gets more mad. He calls some officers to his room, and talks about the conversation with the other Great Ones.
Staliin: "You see? They are allying with Hitler! They only send us crappy equipment, and call ourselves incompetent!"
He can't stop moving his left hand. He tries to hold it fast with the right hand, but it also starts to shake.
Officer #1: "They are actually at war with Germany. They are even fighting them in mainland Italy and drove them out of Sicily and Sardinia!"
Stalin: "This is only slideshow!"
Officer #2: "I wouldn't call it a slideshow knowing that they started bombing german cities to dust. Hamburg, Kassel and a few others were already devastated, making the Luftwaffe destruction of Coventry only a minor happening."
Officer #1: "Don't you see it now, Stalin? This is real war!"
Stalin: "Churchill always hated us, benevolent communists. He made a deal with Hitler, in which Hitler agreed to let some german cities here and there, whose people and industry were previously evacuated, to be bombed while crappy equipment would be sent to us."
Joe opens a bottle of vodka despite being disallowed by his doctors to drink alcohol. Drink a lot right from the bottle.
Officer #1, thinking to himself: "Better get out of this madness..."
Officer #3: "The enemy of my enemy is my friend! Churchill would never do it, nor would Roosevelt! Don't be so crazy..."
Those very last words were the worst of them all.
Stalin: "Get out of here! You don't agree with me, you don't deserve talking to me!"
Next morning, the Three Great Ones aren't there anymore. Churchill and Roosevelt were kidnapped by Stalin's orders and sent to a trip to Siberia, and the Red Army in Iran advanced towards the weak allied forces in the region. But, as soon as the orders were given and the other two Great Ones sent to vacations, NKVD agents with orders from Beria kidnapped Stalin and took him to a hospital for mad people. Then, Beria starts to negotiate with german, british and american key people and the rest is just history...
Thank you to everyone that showed interest. If you didn't make the cut this time, there's always next month. And we can always use a few good writers. I'll try and get these submissions posted on the 17th and then allow a week or so for critiques. And a strong goup it is, too. 
