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Rensslaer

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I greatly apologize for my sudden and long absence from the Forum! I let this drop, and kept thinking I'd come back and invest just 60 minutes to finish the announcement and tell you who the authors are, etc. There just wasn't a good 60 minutes to invest.

But I just had a thought... Response for feedback wasn't that hot to begin with on this round (started at the beginning of summer, and people weren't in school, on vacation, etc. The typical Forum summer slump.

Why don't we offer it up for 2 more weeks of feedback for those who missed the opportunity last time around? Shouldn't be any difference to anyone, and if we get some more commenters, it's great for the authors and can be a learning experience for the commenters! Or an opportunity to show your expertise and help contribute to another author's self-awareness of writing. Valuable all around.

So...

Let's leave this open for NEW comments until October 10th or so, and then I'll announce the authors and probably announce a new round.

Hopefully we won't see just silence. :) This can really be quite fun for the commenters and for the writers if there are enough people involved.

Go for it!

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Lighthearter

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I must confess I've been busy too . . . never did get around to commenting :p My bad, I suppose. But the good news is I have two finished novels and a standard query rejection letter now - ain't it awesome? :D (No, that's not sarcasm. It really is empowering for some psychotic reason.)

Anyway, I shall endeavor to comment as soon as I have the time - tournament coming up at Martial Arts World, after all - and look forward to participating in the next round!

-L
 

Mr. Capiatlist

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Please stay on topic. If you don't have time to post, don't. When you do... then go ahead.
 

Lighthearter

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#1 - I liked the general flow of this piece, but some of the grammar threw me off. Maybe I'm just a Grammar Nazi though :p The ideas in it kept making me think fantasy environments, and I was looking forward to a fight with the three guys. I must say that I felt somewhat cheated that we didn't get to see that, but it's definitely a hook if this is a part of a longer work. All in all . . . 3.5/5 stars.

#2 - Hilarious! Although - maybe it was just me . . . but the ending got rather ominous. This "Bob of Bob" sounds way too much like the villains I deal in for my comfort, so probably just me. Then again, the ominousness wasn't a BAD thing . . . just a rather abrupt tone shift. And - well, it WORKED. 4/5.

#3 - To be perfectly honest, I couldn't really follow this one. Some better paragraphing would be nice, to start with. And there were a lot of extraneous details thrown in. I.E:

"The sounds of a distant scream resonated around a masonry corner some yards off."

Do we need to know it's a masonry corner? That's already implied. Personally, I would have written it as:

"A distant scream resounded through the halls."

Maybe "stone halls" even! Remember, less is more - and keep related ideas together. That said, clipping the sentence to:

"A scream resounded."

- is going too far. Less is more, but too little is . . . too little.
On the whole - 3/5.

#4 - I liked it. I really did. As others have said, there were some wording and grammar problems, but hey! Nothing too bad. And I'd definitely read further if it was a novel or an AAR just to find out what was happening and who Styles and Douglas are. Hell, I could see a MOVIE based off that opening scene. Sure, it needs polishing and editing, but a lot of the ideas are excellent. My personal favorite part was Douglas' "tiny spark of defiance" at the guards . . . well phrased, and something that makes him human! Now you've made me all curious!

Grumble grumble grrrr . . . 4/5. :D

-L
 

Rensslaer

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It's time to reveal the authors from this round. Okay, well... PAST time.

I apologize for my long absence! This was the "June" round. :eek:o

If you had meant to provide feedback, and just didn't have time, you're still welcome to provide it!

Also, the authors generally respond to feedback during this time, and explain what they had in mind when they were writing their pieces.


Author #1 (Old man & the girl) - Wyvern (Wyvern's Inkwell Page)
Wyvern's current writing is The Realm of the Wolf, over in the Mount & Blade AAR Forum. He's also participated in some EU2 MP roleplaying AARs: The Throne of Heaven and The Olympian Rebirth.


Author #2 (The Bibliophile w/strange pets) - Peter Ebbesen (Peter's Inkwell Page)
Peter Ebbesen is one of the Forum longtime veterans, and with the exception of a V2 Beta AAR much of his work is from the 2001-2004 era. He's known for an odd sense of humor (didn't pick this up from the GTA piece? :) ), demonstrated in such works as The Byzantine Letters (CK), The Timurid Scientists, and World Conquest for Dummies (both award-winning EU2 AARs). Blood to the Ankles and Rising was a V1 beta AAR which won a VictAARian Cross. Lastly, I'm going to plug his Galactic Civilizations II AAR, as few people realize such a forum exists: The Yor Years.


Author #3 (Hear-Say might let you go) - Mr. Capiatlist (Mr. Capiatlist's Inkwell Page)
Mr. Capiatlist is a Demi-Mod, and has recently been hosting the AARLand Choice AwAARds (which are currently underway -- go vote!). His most recent popular work is a massive project (he does this...) called Baltikja (aka Tales of the Anglo-Prussians), which eventually will reach from CK all the way to HOI 3. The first is Homelands (CK), followed by Bastions (EU3). Flower of the Lilly is his EU 3 MEIOU AAR.


Author #4 (special prisoner & a way out) - Iain Wilson (Iain Wilson's Inkwell Page)
Iain Wilson's popular recent humorous works are Suenik the Beleaguered (CK), along with These Oranjes are Not for Eating (V1). He also would like to draw attention to his first "serious" AAR, The Sleeper (EU3).

Not sure why we didn't have very many reader comments this time around. Thank you to those who did take the time! It's possible some readers found some pieces too long, and so in the future I will be enforcing the word limit w/o exception. The summer absence of so many readers may have been a factor too.

Frankly, if you have feedback on how the GTA could be modified to be more attractive to you or others, please let me know here in the thread.

I will set up a new contest for November... No, really! Watch this space!

Thanks again to everybody who participated by writing, and those who participated by responding and critiquing!

Rensslaer
 

loki100

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well done Renns ... & hadn't even had a clue as to who had written each but congrats for having the courage to put stuff up.

as to comments - for whatever reason (maybe the summer) but the general threads in AARland seem to have been quiet for a while so for something that demands a degree of engagement I don't think the responses are bad given the overall situation.

Word length probably does help/hinder but I don't think its critical, if its too long and fails to hold the attention then you can always skim read it - in itself a strong clue that it could be usefully shortened and tightened up

but again, thanks to all for producing the pieces - I find this an invaluable little corner of AARland and the anonymity leads to quite a unique style of feedback
 

coz1

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Any interest in reviving this project? Been a while. I'd be willing to run a few rounds. Let's say the topic is Rain.

First four to PM as always. Let's see how long that takes. ;)

EDIT: For newcomers, please read the first post for more info. Each round seems to find some ignoble ending routinely. :)

EDIT on 4/13 - We have 2 takers so far. Still need two more interested writAARs.
 
Last edited:

coz1

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We have three writAARs lined up and could use one more. I've given them a deadline of this coming Friday to write on the topic (again: RAIN) and I will post the submissions this coming weekend. Let's give a few weeks to offer feedback after that and then I will reveal the authors as per usual. Some may be new to the forum or uninitiated in the spirit of GtA. While guessing the author is perhaps part of the equation, the real goal is the critique of the work. See below for the rules, such as they are:

1) Actual story posts will only be submitted by me or the designated person in charge, to retain anonymity. Critical/guess posts will be made under your own nick.

2) This is what happens: First, the coordinator will choose a topic for authors to write about. Topics will be very broad and general, and will cover topics in (if at all possible) the EU games, HoI, Victoria, etc. so authors who own only one of those games (or, possibly, none) can still join the project.

3) Second, anyone who wishes to write on a topic must PM the coordinator and get approval. The number of authors writing on any particular topic will be limited to 4, or otherwise as designated by the person in charge, so it's important to inform the coordinator of your interest as soon as possible so you will be one of the first four. The coordinator will inform you of if you're going to write or not (ie if there are already four authors signed up).

4) Submissions will have a deadline that they must meet. This is to allow all the posts to be put up at once, so as to give "equal time" to them, in addition to keeping the manager of the project sane (actually, the latter may be a lost cause already). This also keeps the project rolling, even if one of the authors has unexpected problems.

6) Anyone may offer guesses as to the identity of the author and may post constructive criticism. Spam will not be tolerated, nor outright attacks, as per forum rules.

7) The list of authors will not be provided until a set time has expired. Then all will be revealed. (As our community has grown enormously, guessing the author should no longer be as big a priority as providing positive feedback.)

8) Posts that discuss writing in more general terms should be posted in the SolAARium, not here. Not that we don't want to read them, but everything has its proper place, from artillery to literary criticism.

Looking forward to seeing if this can run a few rounds again. It may not be a continuous project, but it is always fun while it lasts. :)
 

Peter Ebbesen

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Remind me, how many of Paradox grand strategy games feature weather systems? The topic, "RAIN", would seem to be unrelated to several of them (see point #2 of the GTA post you copy-pasted). :p
 

coz1

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I think weather is included in most games, isn't it? Seasons at least. Rain must surely be part of it.

Or just an unused topic thus far. ;)

(Btw - wonderful to see you still poking around here Peter! And ornery as ever. :) )
 
Last edited:

Deaghaidh

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If we submit something for this, are we expected to refrain from posting it in the AAR in question?
 

Wyvern

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If we submit something for this, are we expected to refrain from posting it in the AAR in question?
Well, it would rather give the game away if you did :), though I guess there'd be no harm doing so later.
 

Stuckenschmidt

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Oh my god, its alive. :)

Desperately waiting for the stories.
 

Avernite

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Remind me, how many of Paradox grand strategy games feature weather systems? The topic, "RAIN", would seem to be unrelated to several of them (see point #2 of the GTA post you copy-pasted). :p

EU has storms (or had?), HoI has weather...

Plus, arrows can rain too ;)

(also I'd be up for a later round if you hold one, but currently too busy to write :) )
 

Deaghaidh

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Well, it would rather give the game away if you did :), though I guess there'd be no harm doing so later.

Well, I think the presence of dragons would be a tell in my case.
 

coz1

GunslingAAR
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May 16, 2002
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If we submit something for this, are we expected to refrain from posting it in the AAR in question?
I'd say yes, at least until the reveal. Just make sure you PM me if you want to submit so I can post it alongside the other entries.

EDIT on April 18th - We have our four writAARs. Reminder to all that submissions are due by tomorrow. Looking forward to the turnout!
 
Last edited:

coz1

GunslingAAR
29 Badges
May 16, 2002
13.765
409
hearthehurd.typepad.com
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Crusader Kings III
  • Imperator: Rome
  • Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • PDXCon 2017 Awards Winner
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis: Rome Collectors Edition
  • Europa Universalis III: Collection
  • 500k Club
  • 200k Club
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • For The Glory
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Deus Vult
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
And now we begin again...and of course, with our first missing writAAR for this round. Shame that as we had another interested in being the 4th and I had to say we were full up. With that said, we have three excellent tales on the topic ready for your perusal. Give me a moment to post them and then critique away!